How to BRING SEX BACK into a relationship: why your woman pulls away

Summary

Dr. Orion Taban discusses how men can reignite intimacy in sexless marriages, focusing on the differences between male and female sexuality. He explains that while men often desire immediate intercourse, women typically require emotional connection and gradual foreplay. To rebuild sexual tension, men must reframe their touch as simply affection, not a question of sex. By cultivating low-grade arousal throughout the day without expecting immediate results, men can reestablish a dynamic of desire, ultimately enhancing their chances of intimacy without facing rejection.

Takeaways

• 😀 Men often seek advice to resolve sexless marriages, a common issue in relationships today.
• 😀 Maintaining sex in a marriage is challenging because it often conflicts with the safety and security that marriage provides, which can dampen passion.
• 😀 Male and female sexuality are fundamentally different; men often initiate sex, while women tend to respond to it after emotional and physical nurturing.
• 😀 Foreplay is crucial for women, but it’s not limited to the bedroom; emotional connection and physical affection throughout the day help prepare women for intimacy later.
• 😀 Sex for men is typically an immediate motivator, while for women, it is the result of a process that involves emotional and physical buildup.
• 😀 Tension and release are the core principles of seduction. Creating sexual tension without immediate expectation of sex is key to reigniting desire.
• 😀 Men need to disassociate their touch from the question of sex to stop pressuring their partner and allow natural intimacy to build.
• 😀 Small gestures like hugs, playful touches, and eye contact can help create sexual tension throughout the day, making the partner more receptive when the time comes for intimacy.
• 😀 Patience is necessary. It can take time to rebuild sexual connection, especially if the relationship has been sexless for an extended period.
• 😀 Men are responsible for maintaining sexual tension in a relationship. Just like in the courting phase, men should confidently lead the sexual interaction.
• 😀 While it may be tough, consistently making an effort to connect emotionally and physically can rekindle intimacy and lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Q & A

What is the main reason why many men seek Dr. Orion Taban's help in relationships?

Many men reach out to Dr. Orion Taban to help resolve sexless marriages, which is one of the most frequent issues discussed in his consultations.

Why does Dr. Taban express concern about the institution of marriage?

Dr. Taban is concerned because marriage often seeks to provide safety and security, which can unintentionally remove many of the passionate elements that naturally kindle desire, making it difficult to maintain sexual intimacy.

What is the main difference between male and female sexuality according to Dr. Taban?

Male and female sexuality are extremely different, with men viewing sex as a starting point that drives them to action, while women often see it as the end of a process, involving emotional and physical buildup before reaching climax.

What complaint do women commonly have about men's approach to sex?

Women often complain that men want to go straight to intercourse, while women typically need more foreplay, including emotional connection, talking, cuddling, and building up to penetration through physical and emotional stimulation.

How does Dr. Taban suggest men can cultivate a better sexual relationship with their partner?

Dr. Taban suggests that men can cultivate a better sexual relationship by focusing on foreplay, not just before intercourse, but throughout the day. Simple gestures like hugs, eye contact, or playful touches can create tension and anticipation, making the woman more receptive to sex later.

What is the principle of 'tension and release' in the context of seduction?

The principle of 'tension and release' in seduction involves building sexual tension over time and offering a release. Just as food is more enjoyable when you're hungry, sex is more enjoyable when there is sexual tension that needs to be released.

Why does Dr. Taban say that a man should stop associating his touch with a 'question' of sex?

Dr. Taban advises that men stop associating their touch with the expectation of sex because women may withdraw when they feel the touch is a 'question' or request for sex. Instead, men should simply offer their touch and attention without the implied question, allowing tension to build naturally.

What is the challenge for men in sexless marriages according to Dr. Taban?

The challenge for men in sexless marriages is that their wives may have conditioned themselves to reject or distance themselves from physical touch, associating it with a bid for sex. This makes it difficult for men to connect and reignite the sexual spark in their relationship.

What role does the man play in keeping the sexual fire alive in a committed relationship?

In a committed relationship, it is the man's responsibility to maintain the sexual connection. Just as he took the lead in the courtship phase, he must now take the lead in keeping sexual intimacy alive by cultivating tension, being patient, and making thoughtful advances.

What is Dr. Taban’s advice for men who feel frustrated with rejection in sexless relationships?

Dr. Taban advises men to stop explicitly or implicitly asking for sex through their touch and actions. Instead, they should focus on creating small moments of connection, building emotional and physical tension over time, which can eventually lead to a more receptive partner.