Why 💁‍♂️ Affirmations ❌ DONT WORK for 🙅‍♂️ Quitting Porn❗❗ | Porn Addiction Problems

Summary

In this video, JK Maisy, founder and head coach at Audrey Muqaam, explains why affirmations often fail when trying to reboot behaviors like addiction. He reveals that the key to true change lies in asking the right questions instead of using commands or affirmations. By engaging your unconscious mind with open-ended questions, you activate its problem-solving abilities, making it more likely to align with your goals. He encourages viewers to use questions to improve relationships, set boundaries, and break habits effectively, ultimately guiding them toward positive transformation.

Takeaways

• 😀 Affirmations often fail because they conflict with the unconscious mind's beliefs and lack evidence to support them.
• 😀 Positive affirmations like 'I will no longer be controlled by my behavior' are often rejected by the unconscious mind, leading to failure.
• 😀 The unconscious mind needs evidence to believe affirmations. If there's no proof of past success, the affirmation is dismissed.
• 😀 Using questions instead of affirmations helps activate the unconscious mind without causing resistance.
• 😀 Asking questions like 'What can I do each day to improve my relationship?' engages the mind to find actionable solutions.
• 😀 The power of asking questions is that they prompt the unconscious mind to seek answers and strategies for achieving goals.
• 😀 A question like 'Can I fix my relationship?' encourages the mind to start working towards that answer, making it easier to take action.
• 😀 Asking specific, goal-oriented questions can help overcome bad habits by focusing the mind on finding practical steps for improvement.
• 😀 Instead of telling yourself 'I need to do this,' reframe it into a question: 'What can I do to fix this issue?' to engage the unconscious mind.
• 😀 Using the 'what can I do?' format helps maintain focus and directs the mind toward consistent, actionable behavior changes.
• 😀 JK Maisy offers group coaching for those looking for a structured approach to overcoming challenges and achieving long-term change.

Q & A

Why do affirmations often fail in helping people overcome habits like pornography addiction?

Affirmations fail because they often conflict with the unconscious mind’s beliefs. If someone has been struggling with a behavior for a long time, their unconscious mind doesn’t have the data to support the affirmation, leading to resistance or disbelief.

What is the main problem with using positive affirmations to reboot behavior?

The problem is that affirmations can be seen as unrealistic or untrue by the unconscious mind, especially if they are based on past experiences where the behavior was not successfully overcome. This lack of alignment with the unconscious mind leads to a lack of results.

How does the unconscious mind react to commands or affirmations that are not believable?

The unconscious mind rejects the command because it has no data to support the new belief. This causes the mind to resist the affirmation, making it harder for the individual to believe and adopt the new behavior.

Why does JK Maisy suggest using questions instead of affirmations?

JK suggests using questions because they activate the conscious mind to start seeking solutions, which feels more natural and less confrontational to the unconscious mind. Asking questions prompts the mind to look for practical steps and answers to achieve the goal.

What is an example of a question that can help improve a relationship?

An example of a question to improve a relationship is: 'What can I do each day to change and improve my relationship with my wife so that we can generate more intimacy?' This question invites the mind to explore solutions that align with the desired goal.

How do questions help the unconscious mind align with conscious goals?

Questions help by opening the mind to possible solutions and actions. When you ask a question like 'What can I do today to overcome this issue?' it challenges the unconscious mind to search for answers and align with the goal, rather than simply rejecting a broad statement.

How can using questions help someone who is trying to quit pornography or other compulsive behaviors?

By asking questions like 'What can I do to make sure I don’t watch pornography today?' or 'What actions can I take to avoid slipping up?' the mind begins to focus on finding practical steps, making the process more manageable and achievable.

What role do goals play in the question-based approach recommended by JK Maisy?

Goals are essential in the question-based approach because they provide a clear objective for the unconscious mind to work towards. For example, adding a goal to a question like 'How can I improve my relationship?' ensures the mind focuses on actionable steps to meet that goal.

How can asking questions influence someone’s behavior over time?

Asking questions helps the individual’s mind stay focused on problem-solving, which eventually leads to behavior changes. Over time, the mind becomes conditioned to seek out and implement solutions, making it easier to avoid old behaviors and adopt new ones.

What should someone do if they want more personalized support in overcoming addictive behaviors like pornography?

For more personalized support, JK Maisy invites people to join his coaching program, where they can work with mentors who have experience overcoming similar challenges. They can also access a system that predicts relapses and provides accountability.