Tu or Vous? 5 Rules to Help You Choose
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of Comme une Française TV, Géraldine explores the tricky French etiquette of using 'tu' or 'vous' when addressing people. She explains that while there's no hard rule, 'vous' is generally used to show respect, especially with superiors, elders, or strangers, while 'tu' is for friends, peers, and informal situations. Géraldine offers practical guidelines, such as when to switch from 'vous' to 'tu' and what to do if you're unsure. The video encourages viewers to practice their French and share their experiences in the comment section.
Takeaways
- 😊 There’s no strict rule for choosing between 'tu' or 'vous', and even French people can be unsure.
- 👍 As a foreigner, people will be more forgiving if you use 'tu' instead of 'vous'.
- 🤔 When unsure, always default to using 'vous' to avoid being overly familiar.
- 🙇 'Vous' shows respect and should be used with superiors, older people, and strangers.
- 👥 'Tu' indicates familiarity and is used with friends, colleagues you know well, children, and teenagers.
- 💼 Use 'vous' in professional contexts with bosses, colleagues (initially), and formal situations.
- 🌟 Use 'tu' in casual settings, social events, and when someone invites you to do so.
- 😅 Transitioning from 'vous' to 'tu' can feel awkward, but it’s a normal part of the process.
- 🤝 If someone asks to switch to 'tu', always agree and switch immediately.
- 📈 Your French will only improve if you practice, so engage with others and share your experiences.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video?
-The main topic of the video is whether to use 'tu' or 'vous' when speaking to someone in French, and how to navigate the rules surrounding this choice.
What is the fundamental rule regarding the use of 'tu' and 'vous'?
-There is no strict rule for using 'tu' or 'vous.' Just like choosing whether to kiss or shake hands, even French people can feel uncertain or uncomfortable about which form to use in some situations.
What is the recommended approach if you’re unsure whether to use 'tu' or 'vous'?
-If you're unsure, it's better to use 'vous,' as it’s seen as more polite. Using 'vous' avoids sounding overly familiar.
In which situations should you use 'vous'?
-'Vous' should be used to show respect. It is appropriate to use 'vous' with your boss, colleagues, neighbors, people older than you (by 20 years or more), people you don’t know, your in-laws, and professionals like teachers, doctors, or officials.
When is it appropriate to use 'tu'?
-'Tu' is used to show familiarity. You should use it with your friends, partner’s friends, children, teenagers, colleagues you've known for a while, people who ask you to use 'tu,' and at networking events where everyone is more casual.
How do you transition from using 'vous' to 'tu'?
-The transition from 'vous' to 'tu' usually involves an awkward moment, but it's normal. The other person may ask, 'On se tutoie?' or 'Je peux te tutoyer?' If they ask, you should always say yes and switch to 'tu' right away.
What is the verb for using 'vous' in French?
-The verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer.'
What is the verb for using 'tu' in French?
-The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer.'
How should you respond if someone asks if they can use 'tu' with you?
-You should always say yes when someone asks if they can use 'tu' with you, and then immediately start using 'tu' in return.
How does the video encourage viewers to improve their French?
-The video encourages viewers to take action by using what they’ve learned in real life. It also suggests sharing experiences in the comment section to engage with others and learn more.
Outlines
👋 Introduction to French Politeness and Social Norms
The speaker, Géraldine, welcomes viewers to Comme une Française TV, a show about living in France and feeling at home. She introduces the topic of using 'tu' and 'vous' in French, which can be tricky. Géraldine poses various social scenarios, like meeting someone your age or talking to a colleague, to illustrate when to use 'tu' or 'vous'. She compares the decision to whether one should kiss or shake hands, emphasizing how it can cause confusion. The episode aims to provide clarity on this aspect of French etiquette.
🔑 No Set Rule for 'Tu' or 'Vous'
Géraldine starts by explaining that, unfortunately, there’s no strict rule when it comes to choosing between 'tu' or 'vous' in French interactions. Even native French speakers often feel unsure and uncomfortable about which form to use. She reassures viewers not to worry, especially since they are foreigners, and explains that people are usually forgiving. In many cases, people may even explicitly tell you which form to use.
✅ 'If in Doubt, Use Vous' Rule
Géraldine introduces a simple guideline: if you’re unsure, it’s always safer to use 'vous'. It’s better to sound too polite rather than too familiar in French culture, making 'vous' the default polite choice when uncertain.
🙇 When to Use 'Vous'
Géraldine breaks down the situations where 'vous' should be used. It is a form of respect, and the verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer'. 'Vous' is appropriate for addressing bosses, colleagues, neighbors, people significantly older, strangers, in-laws, and professionals like doctors or lawyers. She also reminds viewers to conjugate verbs correctly when using 'vous'.
👫 When to Use 'Tu'
The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer', and it’s meant to show familiarity. Géraldine explains that 'tu' is used with friends, your partner’s friends, children and teenagers, colleagues you’ve known for a while, or anyone who asks you to use it. She adds that in informal settings like networking events, 'tu' is often used right away to build a sense of community, just as she does with her audience.
🤝 Transitioning from 'Vous' to 'Tu'
Géraldine discusses how people typically start with 'vous' and then shift to 'tu' over time, except with figures of authority like doctors or bosses. This switch is often awkward, but it’s normal. The process usually begins with someone asking, 'On se tutoie?' or 'Je peux te tutoyer?' to suggest moving to 'tu'. Géraldine advises viewers to always say yes when asked and to switch immediately, assuring them that the first few sentences may feel odd, but it will soon feel natural.
📢 Engaging with the Comme une Française Community
Géraldine encourages viewers to practice what they’ve learned by using it in real-life conversations. She invites them to share their experiences in the comments section, asking whether they knew these rules before or if they’ve ever felt unsure about using 'tu' or 'vous'. She emphasizes the value of participating in discussions as a way to improve.
🎁 Exclusive Content from Comme une Française
Géraldine closes by offering viewers the chance to subscribe to her channel for exclusive content on real-life experiences in France. Subscribers will receive a free lesson on how to introduce themselves in French, along with weekly tips. She thanks her audience for watching and ends the episode with a friendly goodbye.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Tu
💡Vous
💡Vouvoyer
💡Tutoyer
💡Formality
💡Respect
💡Switching from vous to tu
💡Politeness
💡Social cues
💡Networking events
Highlights
Introduction to the complexities of choosing between 'tu' and 'vous' in French interactions.
The question of 'tu or vous' is similar to deciding whether to kiss or shake hands when greeting someone.
There is no definitive rule for choosing between 'tu' and 'vous', even French people struggle with this decision.
As a foreigner, you're given more leeway when using 'tu' instead of 'vous', and people might correct you if necessary.
'If you don’t know, use vous'—it’s better to be slightly too polite than overly familiar.
'Vous' shows respect and is used with authority figures, colleagues, people significantly older than you, and strangers.
The verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer', and it’s commonly used with bosses, teachers, doctors, and officials.
'Tu' is for familiarity, used with friends, children, colleagues you know well, and at informal networking events.
The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer', and it’s used to create a sense of inclusion and community.
Switching from 'vous' to 'tu' can be awkward, but it’s a normal part of building relationships.
Phrases to move from 'vous' to 'tu' include: 'On se tutoie?' and 'Je peux te tutoyer?'.
When someone asks to switch to 'tu', always say yes and start using 'tu' immediately.
Over time, it's common to transition from 'vous' to 'tu' unless with authority figures like doctors or your boss.
Engage with the material by practicing and sharing your experiences with 'tu' and 'vous' in the comments.
Encouragement to subscribe for exclusive content about real-life experiences in France and to improve your French.
Transcripts
Salut c’est Géraldine.
Welcome chez Comme une Française TV, live in France, feel at home.
When you meet a French person your age for the first time, should you use tu or vous?
When you’re talking to a French colleague for the 30th time, should you use tu or vous?
When you greet a French neighbour’s son, should you use tu or vous ?
This is what we’ll talk about in today’s episode of Comme une Française TV.
Tu or Vous?
That’s the big question in France.
Say you’re greeting a friend’s sister you’ve already met.
You may be thinking, « Should I kiss her or shake her hand?
» Choosing tu or vous can feel the same way.
In this episode of “Comme une Française TV,” I’ll give you some guidelines on
how to figure it out.
1. Fundamental rule
Unfortunately, there’s no rule.
Just like choosing whether to « kiss or shake hands », French people can be just as clueless
as you are when it comes to using tu or vous.
In some situations, we even feel uncomfortable with this topic too.
So don’t freak out if you don’t know.
Also, you’re a foreigner, so people will be more forgiving if you use tu instead of vous.
As we’ll discuss in Rule 5, they may even tell you which one you should use with them.
2. «If you don’t know, use vous » rule
If you don’t know which one to use at all, use vous.
It’s better to sound a little too polite than overly familiar.
3. When to use vous
Vous is meant to show respect.
The verb for the act of «Using vous » is « vouvoyer ».
You should use it with :
your boss your colleagues
your neighbours anyone way older than you (more than 20 years
of difference) people you don’t know
your in-laws people you show respect to : the teacher / doctor
/ lawyer / officials…
Don’t forget your conjugation when using vous.
You know, it’s the one that ends with « ez » (pronounced « é »).
4. When to use tu
The verb for the act of « Using tu » is « tutoyer ».
Tu is meant to show familiarity.
You’ll use it with :
your friends your partner’s friends
children and teenagers colleagues you’ve known for a while
anyone who asks you to Networking events where everybody uses « tu
». When I organize an event in Grenoble, I use « tu » straight away to make people
feel « included in the community ». In case you didn’t notice, this is what I do with
you too.
5. How to go from vous to tu
When we don’t know people very well, we use « vous ». Then, most often (unless it’s
with your doctor, boss or an elderly person), over time we end up using « tu ».
To be honest, it’s usually an awkward moment to go from vous to tu.
But it’s normal.
This is what the other person will tell you:
« On se tutoie ? » (pronounced « on stutoie ? ») « On peut peut-être se tutoyer maintenant ? » « Je peux te tutoyer ? »
When someone asks you this, ALWAYS SAY YES.
And then switch to « tu » straight away.
That’s it.
The first sentence will sound weird but it won’t take long to feel natural.
--- Et toi? Your French will improve ONLY if you take action by using what you learn on Comme une
Française TV.
Share your experiences by leaving a comment below this video :
Did you already know these rules?
Have you ever been unsure of whether to use « tu » or « vous » in French?
Which did you choose?
The comment section is the best place to start discussions and ask questions!
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