5 Things You Should NEVER Do With Your 🍆

Summary

In this video, a sex coach for men identifies five detrimental behaviors men should avoid regarding their penises to reach their full sexual potential. These include ignoring sexual health signals, shaming their bodies, comparing themselves to others, disrespecting consent, and forcing sexual situations. The coach emphasizes self-love, respect, and consent to improve sexual performance and self-esteem.

Takeaways

• 🔍 Men often ignore their penises and their signals, which can indicate deeper issues.
• 🚫 Avoid shaming your penis, as shame leads to despair and doesn't solve problems.
• 🙅‍♂️ Do not compare your penis to others, as it can negatively affect self-esteem and sexual satisfaction.
• 🚭 Don't bring your penis out unless it's wanted and honored; respect and consent are crucial.
• 🚫 Never force your penis on anyone or engage in unwanted sexual situations; it's harmful to your self-esteem.
• 🌟 Treat your penis with love and respect to improve sexual performance and self-esteem.
• 🧠 Recognize that sexual confidence and fulfillment start with how you treat yourself.
• 🔑 Your penis can act as an indicator of your overall well-being and should not be ignored.
• 👀 Accepting your body as it is can lead to greater sexual satisfaction and confidence.
• 💡 Focus on providing pleasure with what you have, rather than comparing yourself to others.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video?

The video discusses the top five things men should never do with their penis to improve their sexual confidence and performance.

Why is it important for men to pay attention to how they treat their penis?

It's important because how men relate to their penis affects their sexual confidence, performance, and how they connect with their partner. Understanding and treating their body with respect can also help solve sexual issues like stamina and erectile dysfunction.

What does the speaker mean by 'your penis is like a check engine light'?

The speaker uses this analogy to explain that changes in penis performance, like erection issues or premature ejaculation, are signals from the body indicating deeper issues such as stress, emotional disconnect, or health problems.

What is the speaker’s advice for men who experience shame about their penis?

The speaker advises men to treat their penis with neutrality, curiosity, and kindness instead of shame. Shaming oneself only worsens the issue, while accepting and caring for one's body leads to better sexual confidence.

Why is comparing your penis to others considered harmful?

Comparing your penis to others, especially those seen in porn, creates unnecessary pressure and dissatisfaction. Each person is built differently, and accepting your own body helps build confidence, which is more important than size or appearance.

What does the speaker suggest about the importance of consent and timing when it comes to sexual activity?

The speaker emphasizes that men should only bring their penis into the mix when it’s wanted and honored. Consent and mutual desire are crucial for self-respect and healthy sexual relationships.

What is meant by 'never force your penis'?

The phrase means that men should never engage in sexual activities unless they are fully comfortable and interested. Forcing oneself into situations out of fear or scarcity can harm self-esteem and lead to sexual dysfunction.

How does the speaker explain the concept of a 'scarcity mindset' in relation to sexual encounters?

A scarcity mindset occurs when men engage in sex because they fear they won't have another opportunity, even if they aren’t fully interested. This behavior undermines confidence and prevents them from waiting for meaningful, mutually satisfying experiences.

What advice does the speaker give for developing sexual confidence?

The speaker advises men to focus on self-acceptance, avoid comparing themselves to others, respect their body, and engage in sex only when they are fully comfortable. These practices can help build authentic sexual confidence.

What additional resources does the speaker offer for men who want to improve their sexual performance?

The speaker offers a course called 'Hard as You Want' that covers physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual reasons for sexual performance issues. Additionally, she provides personalized coaching and 400 free videos on her YouTube channel for further guidance.

Outlines

00:00

🚹 Men's Relationship with Their Penises

The paragraph discusses common issues men face with their penises and how these can limit their sexual potential. The speaker, a sex coach, emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and understanding one's own body. The top five things men should avoid doing with their penises are introduced, with a promise to provide solutions to improve sexual confidence and performance. The speaker stresses that while treating one's partner well is crucial, the foundation of sexual fulfillment starts with self-treatment and understanding one's own body.

05:02

🚫 Five Things Men Should Never Do with Their Penises

This section outlines the first three of the top five things men should avoid doing with their penises: ignoring it, shaming it, and comparing it to others. Ignoring issues with one's penis can lead to overlooking important signals about one's health or emotional state. Shaming one's penis for its appearance or performance can create a negative spiral and prevent finding solutions. Comparing one's penis to others, often influenced by unrealistic porn standards, can harm self-esteem and satisfaction. The speaker encourages treating the penis as a gift, not something to be controlled or tamed, and accepting one's body as it is.

💔 The Importance of Consent and Self-Worth

The paragraph continues with the fourth item on the list: never bring your penis out when it's not wanted or honored. It discusses the importance of consent in sexual encounters and the negative impact of forcing oneself or one's penis into situations where it's not desired. The speaker uses the analogy of a wedding to illustrate the discomfort of being unwanted and the joy of being invited and honored. The advice is to only engage sexually when there is mutual desire and excitement.

🚫 Avoid Forcing Yourself into Unwanted Sexual Situations

The final paragraph addresses the last item on the list: never force your penis or yourself into sexual situations that aren't a 'hell yes'. It talks about the harm of engaging in sex out of a scarcity mindset, where one feels the need to take any opportunity because of a fear of missing out. The speaker advises that only engaging in sex when one truly desires it fosters a sense of abundance and self-worth. This approach not only improves one's self-esteem but also makes one more attractive to potential partners.

Keywords

💡Sexual Potential

Sexual potential refers to the innate capacity for sexual fulfillment and satisfaction. In the video, it is mentioned that men may not be reaching their full sexual potential due to certain behaviors or attitudes towards their penises. The script suggests that by addressing these issues, men can unlock a greater sense of sexual confidence and fulfillment.

💡Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence is the self-assurance and comfort one has in their sexual abilities and interactions. The video emphasizes that true sexual confidence comes from within and is not just about how one treats their partner but also how they treat themselves, particularly in relation to their own body and sexual organs.

💡Penis

The penis is the male sexual organ discussed throughout the video. It is used as a focal point for the advice given, with the speaker addressing common issues men face with their penises and offering guidance on how to improve their relationship with it for better sexual health and performance.

💡Disconnection

Disconnection, in the context of the video, refers to a lack of awareness or understanding of one's own body, particularly the penis. The speaker points out that men often only relate to their penis in terms of pleasure or release, rather than recognizing it as a part of their whole body that communicates health and emotional states.

💡Shame

Shame is a negative feeling of guilt or embarrassment. The video discusses how men often feel shame about their penises, whether it's about size, performance, or control. The speaker argues that shame is unproductive and that treating the penis with curiosity and kindness can lead to better sexual health and self-esteem.

💡Comparison

Comparison is the act of evaluating oneself based on others. The script mentions that men often compare their penises to those seen in porn or in public, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The speaker advises against this practice, emphasizing that diversity in sexual attraction means there is no 'perfect' penis, and self-acceptance is key.

💡Consent

Consent is the voluntary and explicit agreement to engage in a particular activity. In the video, consent is discussed in the context of sexual activity, with the speaker advising men not to engage their penis in situations where it is not wanted or honored, which aligns with the broader conversation about the importance of consent in sexual encounters.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to the value and respect one has for oneself. The video connects self-esteem with how men treat their penises, suggesting that by avoiding certain behaviors and treating their bodies with respect, men can improve their self-esteem and have more fulfilling sexual experiences.

💡Scarcity Mindset

A scarcity mindset is the belief that resources, opportunities, or experiences are limited. The video addresses how this mindset can lead men to force themselves into sexual situations they are not fully comfortable with, which can harm their self-esteem and sexual performance. The speaker encourages a shift towards an abundance mindset where one feels worthy of the experiences they desire.

💡Performance

Performance, in this context, refers to how well one functions sexually, including aspects like erection, stamina, and sexual satisfaction. The video suggests that by addressing issues such as disconnection, shame, and comparison, men can improve their sexual performance and overall sexual health.

💡Self-Respect

Self-respect is the regard one has for oneself and one's own value. The speaker in the video connects self-respect with how men should treat their penises, emphasizing that only engaging in sexual situations that feel right and are consensual can lead to greater self-respect and a more positive sexual experience.

Highlights

Men should never ignore their penis as it can signal deeper issues.

Shame around the penis can lead to a spiral of despair and prevent solutions.

Comparing one's penis to others is unhelpful and can harm self-esteem.

Sexual attraction and satisfaction are more about the person than the penis.

Men should only engage sexually when it's a 'hell yes' for them.

Forcing oneself into sexual situations can lead to dysfunction and bruised self-esteem.

Treating the penis with love and respect can improve sexual interactions and performance.

The importance of starting within oneself for sexual confidence and fulfillment.

Changes in sexual performance often signal something deeper about one's life or health.

The penis should be treated as a gift, not something to be controlled or tamed.

Accepting oneself without apology creates confidence that women notice.

Consent and respect are crucial when it comes to sexual engagement.

Men should only bring their penis out when it's wanted and honored.

Engaging in sex only when fully interested leads to a state of abundance and self-worth.

A scarcity mindset can lead men to engage in sex they don't truly want.

The speaker offers courses and coaching to help men improve their sexual performance.

There are over 400 free videos on the speaker's YouTube channel for men to improve their sexual health.

Transcripts

As a sex coach for men, I have a unique perspective on how men

treat their penises.

At this point I think it's safe to say that I have pretty much seen it all.

And I have noticed some common patterns that are keeping men back

from reaching their full sexual potential.

In this video, I'm going to share the top five things men should never do

when it comes down to how you relate to and use your penis.

More likely than not, you are doing at least one of these five things.

So make sure to watch until the end, because I also share

how to make some simple shifts that are going to have a drastic impact on

not only how you relate to your own body, but also how women perceive

and relate to you.

First, why is this so important?

Well, because most of the information that men are getting when it comes

to reaching

true sexual confidence and fulfillment centers on how you treat your lover.

And while this is super important, the deepest and most important work

starts within.

In other words, how you treat yourself.

And as corny as that may sound, if you make a few simple changes,

the ones I'm going to break down, it could be the start

to overcoming any sexual issues that you have ever encountered

or will ever encounter, from stamina to dating, to pleasing and connecting

with a woman, having confidence to approach women and sex at all.

So what are these five things you should never do with your penis?

Let's get it started.

Number five, ignore your penis.

So often men are disconnected from their penises.

You might relate to your penis mainly based on the feelings of pleasure

or release that it can provide you or the steam that orgasm helps you to let off.

But our bodies are always trying to tell us something, and it's important

to tune into and figure out what each signal means.

You've heard me say it before.

If you subscribe to this channel, your penis is like a check engine light.

And when it's not working as expected, it is trying to tell you something.

Whether it's having problems getting or maintaining an erection,

coming too soon and premature ejaculation, or any other change in your sexual

performance, you can trust that this is always signaling something deeper.

Maybe you're disconnected from your partner.

Maybe you're feeling disconnected from yourself, or you're encountering

more stress than you can handle at this stage in your life.

Maybe there's an underlying health issue that you need to get checked out.

If you notice a change in your performance or anything else having to do

with your penis function, you should never ignore it.

As we know, ignoring a problem rarely makes it go away.

Notice the change.

Make an effort to examine what could be going on in your life that is causing it.

Be a good detective for yourself.

Number four never shame your penis.

Shame is a big thing I see when it comes to men's relationships to their penises.

Maybe you have some shame around what your penis looks like (his size),

or maybe it feels like you don't have total control over him.

This could be anything from coming too quickly again

to not being able to maintain an erection when you want one, or

maybe even popping a boner at the wrong time.

The thing about shame is that it never leads to solutions.

Shame only puts you in a spiral of despair,

and it is a punishing way to make yourself feel like any issues that you

encounter are way worse than they actually are.

Just like any other part of your body, your penis is a gift.

It isn't a thing that needs to be controlled or tamed.

It's a part of you. Just like your hands, your eyes, your ears.

If you experience changes with your eyesight, for example,

Are you going to feel like you're less of a man

because you can't read small text without squinting?

Or are you going to take care of yourself by visiting an optometrist

and getting some glasses?

Men put so much pressure on their penises—more pressure there

than they put on any other part of their anatomy.

Treating this part of your body

with a bit more neutrality, curiosity, and kindness goes a long way

towards getting truly comfortable with and achieving your own sexual best.

Number three compare your penis to others.

We have all done it, myself included.

And we all know that comparing ourselves to others

never ends with us feeling better about ourself.

Not in a sustainable way.

when I was in eighth grade, before I even started drinking coffee, my teeth

weren't as white as some of my classmates and I hated it.

I used to compare my teeth

to everyone else's until one day I was in art class and Mrs.

Marsh told me that we all come with our own unique coloring.

There's nothing wrong with the way that you were built.

We are all made differently and your penis is no exception.

So many men compare their penises to those they see in porn,

or even to the men that they see in, like the locker room at the pool.

The thing that you're possibly forgetting is that when it comes to sex

and attraction, there's just as much diversity in what people

are attracted to as there are in the ways that our bodies look.

You cannot compare yourself with what you think the perfect dick is.

Maybe it's huge, arrow-straight, and impossibly hard—like

the penises that you see in porn.

But I have heard groups of women and seen plenty of research

that points to women's preferences when it comes to a man's penis.

And let me tell you, we all like different things.

At the end of the day, though, the most important aspect of sexual attraction

and satisfaction is the person that the penis is attached to.

focusing on comparison is using energy that would be better spent learning

to accept yourself, as well as learning how to provide

the most pleasure possible with what you were given.

And when you accept yourself without apologizing for it,

it creates a confidence that just radiates off of you.

And you better believe that women notice.

Number two, you should never bring your penis out when it's not wanted or honored.

Guys have gotten a lot of mixed messages about this.

So many men are taught that they have to be the instigators when it comes to sex.

That they have to take what they want,

and they have to have the confidence to assert themselves

and while making the first move is a great skill, you never want to bring your dick

into the mix before you're sure that everyone else there

really wants it to make an appearance.

So obviously, the big concern here is consent and respecting others.

But there's also a subtler and equally important thing to consider

when your penis isn't being received with excitement and honor.

You are also harming yourself.

Think about it this way.

Would you want to go to a wedding where you weren't invited?

Like you don't know the bride or the groom?

There isn't a place set for you to sit, and you get the feeling that you're

just not welcome.

Sure, you could get away with crashing the party, right?

But does it really feel good to be somewhere that you aren't wanted?

Now compare this to an event where you're the guest of honor.

You're well seated.

There's a place card with your name and a meal

that was specifically prepared for you.

Everyone is happy to see you and you are right in the mix.

Isn't that a more fulfilling experience?

As a general rule in life.

Go where you are wanted and where the people there delight

in your company and desire more of you and let your penis do the same.

Only take him out when he is invited.

Only bring him out

when the person in front of you desires him, and you will go a long way

towards earning self respect as well as the esteem of others.

And finally, number one thing you should never do with your penis is force it.

It goes without saying that you should never force your penis

on people who aren't interested, right?

But it's also harmful when you force yourself to engage

in situations that aren't a total hell yes for you.

So many men feel like they have to engage with sex whenever it's available,

and my advice to this is if it isn't a hell yes, then it's a hell no.

If you don't feel fully comfortable or interested in a situation,

but you force yourself into it, this can lead to a whole lot of sexual

dysfunction and a whole lot of bruising to your deep sense of self-esteem.

Often this kind of behavior comes from a scarcity mindset.

Maybe you feel like you have to sleep with this woman

because you're not sure when you're going to have the next opportunity

to get laid again, even though you aren’t really feeling

that connection, you tell yourself that you should anyways.

Switching to a mindset where you only engage

when you are totally into it brings you into a state of abundance.

You are subconsciously telling

yourself that it is okay to say no, because you're worthy of the kind of sex

and pleasure that you actually want, and you know that you'll soon find someone

who you're actually interested in to share it with you.

And not only will

this make you feel better about yourself, but it will also make you more attractive

to women.

No one wants someone who's going for any scrap that they can get,

because they don't believe that they're worthy of the whole meal.

And there you have it.

My list of five things to never do with your penis.

If you follow these instructions and treat your penis with the love

and the respect that both you and him deserve, you will find yourself

having a lot more quality interactions, better in bed performance,

and a greater sense of deep, rich self esteem.

And of course, if you want help with any of this, I have got you.

You can check out my course hard as you want, where I break down

all of the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and relational reasons

that your penis might not be acting the way that you want him to.

I also break down exactly what to do, step by step, to rebuild the connection

and gain control over your sexual performance once and for all.

Having better sex doesn't have to be difficult.

You just need to know what to do and remember.

I also offer a personalized one on

one coaching for you and your specific goals and situation.

and if you don't have the budget

or interest in that, there are 400 free videos on this very YouTube channel.

So make sure that you are subscribed if you want to have the best relationship

with your penis, with yourself, and with the woman in your life.

I'm Caitlin V.

Thank you for watching. I will see you here next week.