How to be SHARP and SOFT socially

Summary

This video explores the balance between being sharp and soft, highlighting how both qualities are valuable when used intentionally. It discusses how imbalances arise from superiority or inferiority complexes, leading to people-pleasing or aggressive behavior. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, breathing, and setting intentions to maintain balance. Practical tips include slowing down, staying grounded, and using a composed tone. Ultimately, the video encourages confident yet gentle communication, reminding viewers that internal energy and mindful expression are key to navigating social interactions with grace.

Takeaways

• 😊 It's okay to be both sharp and soft; balance is key.
• 😯 We go off balance when we experience superiority or inferiority syndrome.
• 🤔 People-pleasing is a result of inferiority syndrome, often caused by fears, anxiety, or insecurities.
• 😅 Laughter padding, over-agreeing, and lying to avoid discomfort are signs of people-pleasing.
• 😠 Superiority syndrome makes us sharp and aggressive, often stemming from feeling triggered.
• 💡 Our energy is a mix of subtle cues like facial expressions, tone, body language, and intention.
• 🌬️ Breathing is essential to maintaining balance and grounding during interactions.
• 🌸 Softness doesn't mean being inferior; it’s about being present, confident, and composed.
• 🔪 Sharpness, when balanced, allows for direct communication without superiority or aggression.
• 🌱 Balance between sharpness and softness is achieved by staying present, non-reactive, and maintaining open communication.

Q & A

What is the main message of the video?

The main message is about achieving balance between being sharp and soft in social interactions. The video emphasizes that it's okay to embody both qualities and that being off-balance leads to issues like superiority or inferiority syndromes.

What does the speaker mean by 'sharpness' and 'softness'?

Sharpness refers to being direct, assertive, and sometimes aggressive, often linked to superiority syndrome. Softness is associated with being gentle, empathetic, and often linked to inferiority syndrome. Both qualities can be positive if balanced.

How does imbalance in sharpness or softness manifest?

Imbalance manifests through superiority or inferiority syndromes. Superiority syndrome leads to being overly sharp, aggressive, or dismissive, while inferiority syndrome results in people-pleasing behaviors and avoiding conflict.

What is 'people-pleasing,' according to the speaker?

People-pleasing is described as behavior driven by fears, anxieties, and insecurities, where a person prioritizes others' comfort or approval over their own feelings, often leading to over-agreement or avoiding direct expression.

How can one prevent going off-balance between sharpness and softness?

The speaker suggests being intentional and mindful of your energy, breathing deeply before and during interactions, and maintaining composure. These practices help keep interactions balanced without falling into sharpness or softness extremes.

Why is breathing emphasized as an important practice in the video?

Breathing is emphasized as a tool to ground oneself, maintain balance, and prevent reactivity during interactions. It helps manage emotions, triggers, and reminds the individual of their intention, whether they are being sharp or soft.

Can softness also be connected to superiority, and how?

Yes, softness can be linked to superiority in a more subtle, backhanded way. A person may appear soft on the surface but internally judge others or act superior by masking their true feelings under a gentle exterior.

What should be the intention behind sharpness in communication?

The intention behind sharpness should be to speak truthfully and directly, but from a place of balance and openness. The goal should be clarity and resolution, not to dominate or 'win' the conversation.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with feelings of inferiority during interactions?

The speaker suggests breathing to calm any reactive emotions, maintaining a composed and grounded energy, and ensuring that communication remains clear and present. It’s important to not fall into people-pleasing or over-agreeing behaviors.

How does energy play a role in expressing sharpness or softness?

Energy is crucial because it affects how others perceive your sharpness or softness. By staying balanced in energy, being aware of internal emotions, and expressing yourself with intention, you can ensure that sharpness doesn’t come off as aggressive or softness as passive.

Outlines

00:00

🔄 Balancing Sharpness and Softness

The speaker discusses how being both sharp and soft is not inherently bad, but it becomes an issue when we are off balance. This imbalance often stems from two extremes: superiority or inferiority syndromes. Inferiority syndrome, linked to people-pleasing due to fears and insecurities, can cause one to act overly agreeable or evasive in social situations. Superiority syndrome leads to a sharp, aggressive stance where one feels overly confident or right. The key is maintaining balance in energy, tone, and behavior, and the speaker advises focusing on intent and staying centered.

05:03

🌀 The Power of Softness: Intentionality and Breathing

Softness, when intentional, can be powerful. The speaker suggests speaking slower and lifting one's tone while staying grounded and composed. Breathing helps to remain present and prevent reactive behaviors. Softness doesn't equate to inferiority, and one can be soft while holding power and confidence. Practicing calmness through breath and intention enables a balanced, confident presence in conversations, even in moments of discomfort or anxiety.

10:03

🌬️ Mastering Sharpness with Intent and Breath

Sharpness, like softness, requires intentionality. Sharpness can come from a place of superiority or as a defense mechanism when feeling inferior. Before engaging in conversations, it’s crucial to set clear intentions, often aiming for unity rather than conflict. The speaker stresses breathing to avoid reactive sharpness. Sharpness, when paired with humor or light energy, can create nonchalant but effective communication, helping to maintain balance and avoid unnecessary conflict or superiority complexes.

🌱 Balancing Detachment and Connection

The speaker explores the concept of being detached while remaining connected. Being nonchalant doesn’t mean not caring, but rather approaching situations from an objective standpoint without getting too attached to outcomes. This helps in maintaining balance and calmness during interactions. Staying open to the other person's response, while holding one's ground without superiority or inferiority, leads to healthy and balanced communication.

🧘 Energy Awareness and Balanced Expression

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of balancing internal energy and external expression. Everyone can sense each other's energy, and it’s crucial to remain mindful of how one’s inner thoughts and feelings impact outward behaviors. By keeping energy in check, one can effectively balance sharpness and softness in all interactions. The speaker ends by encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and comment, while reflecting on the need to see things from a 'new view' to maintain balanced perspectives in life.

Keywords

💡Sharpness

Sharpness refers to a direct, assertive way of communicating or behaving. In the video, it is associated with being confident, clear, and assertive without being overly aggressive or reactive. The speaker explains that sharpness should be balanced with intention and not driven by superiority or inferiority complexes, as this can lead to an imbalance in interactions.

💡Softness

Softness is described as a gentle, more empathetic approach in interactions. It involves being considerate and calm while expressing oneself. The video emphasizes that softness should not be mistaken for weakness or inferiority; instead, it should be an intentional choice to remain composed and grounded, even when facing difficult situations.

💡Balance

Balance is a central theme in the video, referring to the ability to harmonize both sharp and soft qualities. The speaker argues that it’s not about being strictly one way or the other but finding the right mix depending on the situation. Achieving balance prevents us from slipping into either superiority (too sharp) or inferiority (too soft) syndromes.

💡Intention

Intention is about consciously deciding how to approach interactions, whether with sharpness, softness, or a combination of both. The video stresses that being intentional helps maintain balance and prevents reactive behavior. For example, setting an intention to remain calm and composed before a challenging conversation can help in staying grounded.

💡Superiority Syndrome

Superiority syndrome is characterized by a tendency to look down on others, often resulting in aggressive or overly assertive behavior. The speaker discusses how this mindset can lead to an unbalanced 'sharpness' in interactions, where one may dominate conversations without considering others’ perspectives. It’s often a defensive reaction to feeling inadequate or vulnerable.

💡Inferiority Syndrome

Inferiority syndrome involves people-pleasing behaviors driven by fears, anxieties, and insecurities. The video explains that this mindset can lead to over-agreeing, lying to avoid conflict, or using 'laughter padding' to ease social discomfort. These behaviors stem from a lack of self-confidence and an attempt to gain approval from others.

💡People Pleasing

People pleasing is a behavior characterized by putting others' needs and preferences before one's own to avoid conflict or rejection. In the video, it is linked to inferiority syndrome and is presented as an imbalanced form of softness. The speaker suggests that people pleasing often results in exhaustion and a lack of authentic self-expression.

💡Laughter Padding

Laughter padding is described as using laughter or excessive agreement to navigate uncomfortable situations or social anxiety. It is mentioned as a coping mechanism used by those who experience inferiority syndrome, where laughter serves as a buffer to soften potentially tense interactions. However, it can be draining and inauthentic.

💡Breathe

Breathing is highlighted as a tool to manage one’s energy and emotional state during interactions. The speaker advises using deep breathing before and during conversations to maintain composure and clarity, which helps in staying balanced. Breathing is essential for grounding oneself, whether aiming to be sharp or soft in communication.

💡Nonchalant Energy

Nonchalant energy refers to a detached yet confident approach to interactions, where one remains calm and unaffected by others' reactions. The speaker suggests using this technique to stay grounded while expressing one’s truth directly and sharply without getting emotionally overwhelmed. This detachment helps in maintaining balance and objectivity.

Highlights

Introduction to balancing sharpness and softness in personal interactions.

Example of rejecting something and standing firm, illustrating balance in communication.

Discussion on how inferiority syndrome leads to people-pleasing behavior.

Defining people-pleasing as stemming from fears, anxieties, and insecurities.

Connection between feeling others' energy and how it triggers inferiority syndrome.

Common examples of people-pleasing, including laughter padding and over-agreeing in social settings.

Superiority syndrome explained as being sharp and overly confident in communication.

How energy and balance influence whether sharpness or softness comes across in a healthy way.

Importance of breathing and setting intentions before interactions to maintain balance.

Reminder to speak slower and use lighter tones when practicing softness in communication.

Exploration of superiority with softness as a backhanded or passive-aggressive form of communication.

Sharpness can also stem from inferiority, showing that balance is crucial in both modes of communication.

Importance of grounding oneself through breath to stay composed and avoid reactivity.

How nonchalance, humor, and lightness can help maintain sharpness without becoming confrontational.

Encouragement to embody balance by being present, breathing, and staying connected with the energy of others.

Transcripts

today I'm showing you guys how to be

sharp and soft how to be both how it's

okay to be both here's an

example I don't want that that's not

really my preference so I was thinking

let me

finish yeah that's a good idea too to

finish my thought you

decide why don't you decide and a reason

why sometimes we judge ourselves or

others being too sharp or soft it's not

because being sharp or soft is wrong or

bad

it's because we go off balance it's

always when we're off balance and when

do we go off balance is when we have

either superiority syndrome or

inferiority syndrome what is inferiority

syndrome people pleasing people pleasing

that's it people pleasing and how do we

Define people pleasing people pleasing

because of uh fears and and

anxiety

fears anxiety and insecurities when

we're interacting with people whether

the and the fears anxieties and

insecurities can be coming from

ourselves or can be coming from them

it's still coming from ourselves when

it's coming from them we're all

connected but it could be triggered by

something you feel from yourself or

something you're sensing from them and

then you get into this inferiority

syndrome and then you people

please so for example if we're

interacting a lot of times you know at

work or even in Social settings we

laughter

pad yeah yeah yeah I

know yo isn't that so annoying and

tiring like we don't need to do that we

use laughter padding so that the way

that we're expressing even when we're

uncomfortable we can kind of float

through it even though it's actually

very draining to be laughter padding or

we're just talking a lot more or we're

over over agreeing with someone yeah

yeah I know I know or we're lying to get

out of something oh no I can't today

because I got a I just I got so many

things and stuff and I just no I can't

whereas you can just be like no I

got to go home and I just want to rest

but yeah superiority syndrome you're

looking freaking down at people you're

sharp and you're aggressive you're sharp

and you think you're right and everyone

else is wrong

and a superiority syndrome is the thing

but sometimes it's not you might not

even consciously know that you're trying

to be super barrier it's more of a

reactive response because a lot of times

when we're not honed we're not balanced

the sharpness comes out because we're

triggered so much of this really is just

your overall energy and what is our

overall energy it's a mix of all these

subtle nuanced things about us in the

way that we express our facial

expressions our body language our tone

tone our pitch our pitch our pitch our

paste our past our

Pace um Our intention how we are

thinking and feeling on the

inside it's so much of everything but

it's not about it's really not about

memorizing each aspect that's going to

be very challenging and you're not going

to be able to flow with that energy and

it's not going to come out naturally

it's about embodying that energy in full

and the best way to do it is just to

intend breathe and then go with it and

once you're able to intend breathe and

go with it the everything I just

mentioned facial expressions body

language tone pitch all of that will

come naturally okay so with soft number

one is be intentional soft and sharp

both but number one is always be

intentional I'm just going to a party I

want to just

practice slowing down because normally

maybe I'm more anxious and I tend to

talk really fast so today and when I

talk really fast I might be too sharp

sometimes so today in this party I'm

going to my intention is to talk slower

be

present while still sharing exactly what

I want to share keep it Balan keep it

Balan number

two breathe

breathing so underrated and saves us

from so many things breathe before you

enter the interaction breathe during it

breathe when you get triggered or you

need a reminder of what your intention

is even in mid conversation

just breathe remember the balance so

what I was saying just always keep in

mind when it's soft no inferiority we're

not trying to be inferior and some you

know even though I related uh

inferiority to softness sometimes there

can even be superiority with softness

right actually I didn't mention that

earlier but we can be uh Superior and be

soft too and that's um more of this um

backhanded kind of energy right like I'm

being soft but I'm kind of just judging

you kind of energy a few other tips and

tricks speak slower especially as you're

practicing softness it's easier to speak

slower and your tone it's easier to lift

it up a bit to keep it lighter but don't

lift it up so much that you start to

sound fake just keep

it lighter the tone and the pitch but in

a way that comes natural for you and

keep grounded and composed that's how

you're going to stay balanced too that's

why the breathing is important because

when you're breathing your energy you

can keep grounding yourself and you

canay stay slow but when you're slow

you're not you're not slow and soft in a

way where you're anxious or uh feeling

sheepish you're you're soft and slow in

a way where you're grounded and composed

and you know what you're saying and

you're consciously present you're

courageously confidently present and

conscious with everyone but you're soft

and if there are moments where you do

get triggered it's okay it still happens

either speak definitively dare to

continue to be soft and gentle but speak

your mind take a moment

breathe speak your mind or if you're

getting too a little bit too anxious and

you know you're still practicing it's

okay then choose in the moment to

express H okay let me I need some time

to reflect on this I'm going to I'm

going to think about this yeah let give

me a moment or I'm going to take some

time H that's a good point I'm going to

think about this thank you next sharp

sharpness steps of sharpness it's really

similar to be honest number one is

also decide your intention be

intentional um it's very important for

sharpness too because a lot of times uh

when we're imbalance and sharp so that's

superiority syndrome and sometimes let

me think

um yeah you can be infuriate and still

be sharp too but you're trying to be

superior so it's like a blend of

inferiority and superiority because

maybe you don't feel good enough but

instead of your natural Expressions

again you can get that energy reading

from me if you relate to this your

natural Expressions you're more FY so

you you even when you feel inferior you

don't want you're you don't speak like a

softy so you're direct so you feel

inferior but you use sharpness as a way

to pretend you're Superior so it's still

in Balance right so before this

interaction why am I talking to these

people what do I want to get from this

interaction and a lot of times when we

do that exercise of reviewing Our

intention we will all also balance

ourselves more before we go into the

interaction because maybe you know if

we're in a fight with someone fight with

a lover we just want to win right we're

just going into it reactively we just

want to win then obviously we're going

to be sharp with superiority syndrome

but if we take some time to be

intentional okay we're in a fight but

what is my actual intention I obviously

don't want to fight I want to enjoy I

want to enjoy each other so because

that's my ultimate goal but I still do

want to explain what I'm feeling and

thinking I will keep that in mind my

ultimate goal is peace my ultimate goal

is Unity but I also do want to speak my

mind I want to St St my ground okay now

that I'm aware of this okay then I'm

going to be sharp I'm going to be direct

but from a place of eye level and

balance because my intention is I want

to resolve I want to love number two

same thing breathe especially that

sharpness don't get reactive don't get

trigger breathe before breathe

during there to be honest and direct

while keeping a light nonchalant energy

and this is more so a personal technique

I use a personal trick I use and again

it's because I the way that I'm sharp

what I find the most effective is when

I'm able to be light about it and add

some humor and be non Shalon about it I

think there are other ways to be sharp

too but I think this is a very effective

way so that's what I'm teaching um so

try to uh you can if you want to take

this technique be sharp be direct but

speak from a that's why it's important

to breathe try to be L and be nonchalant

so I'm standing in my truth I'm going to

speak my mind this is how I feel this is

exactly how I feel but however you

respond it's fine even if you disagree

and we're in a relationship and you

don't agree with me I'm not going to get

triggered that might not be the solution

I'm looking for but that's that's really

on you like you got to work through some

things or you got to explain some more

for me to also understand what the Gap

is still so whatever I am expressing in

my truth is fine like because whatever

happens next is meant to happen and I'm

not going to get triggered by you so

when you're in understanding of that

whatever you you believe in yourself you

know your worth you know your truth and

you give them Grace however they react

it's okay you can work through it when

you're in understanding of that then

naturally your energy will be lighter

you can be more nonchalant so just

remember when I say nonchalant it's not

about not caring it is more so this

detached energy but it's being able to

be detached and objective so that you

can connect and solution together

because you're not getting overwhelmed

or biased or thinking you're better or

worse than them getting too attached to

whatever they're thinking feeling

whatever your hone your balance and

you're there to communicate your present

if you're just sharp and you're not

looking at them and you're just speaking

your mind you're just angry that's

superiority again because you're not

giving them the space to also respond

you and the only way you can play this

game of eye level and you guys aren't

both doing the superiority inferiority

back and forth is if you show them I'm

here consciously present confidently and

consciously present with you while

speaking my mind directly but I have

this open gracious energy so you can

also speak however you want back and I'm

listening the secret is balance knowing

that we truly all are connected

consciously

energetically you can feel this when

you're around people look at all the

things we just talked about with

sharpness and

softness when other people are sharp or

soft you can feel their intentions you

can feel whether they're having some

inferiority or superiority we can all

sense energy from each other not just

from what we're expressing on the

outside we we are getting better and

better at sensing what people are

feeling on the inside regardless of what

they're expressing on the outside side

that's why it's important for us

ourselves to watch our own internal

energy and thoughts and feelings and

emotions when we're expressing so it's

always balance when we're able to

express in this manner then we can truly

play with sharpness and softness all we

want thank you guys so much if you guys

want to see more from me from my YouTube

and my podcast please like subscribe

share comment please comment please let

me know please let me know if you enjoy

this video please let me know what you

would like to see um I want to make sure

I'm creating content that's helpful and

entertaining and hopefully inspiring for

you so any feedback and any

encouragement through your engagement

will be greatly appreciated thank you

guys so much and

remember sometimes we just have to see

things see things from a new view

sometimes we just have to see things

from New

View love you guys I'll see you next

time

bye

[Music]

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