I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here's why I left | Megan Phelps-Roper

Summary

The speaker recounts her upbringing within the Westboro Baptist Church, known for its extreme anti-gay protests. Initially an active participant, she later questions the church's teachings through civil discourse on Twitter. These interactions, marked by empathy and understanding, lead to a profound personal transformation. She advocates for engaging with those we disagree with, emphasizing the importance of assuming good intent, asking questions, staying calm, and making arguments to foster understanding and bridge divides.

Takeaways

• 👶 The speaker's indoctrination into the Westboro Baptist Church began at a young age, participating in protests with messages of hate.
• 🌐 The church's activities and beliefs led to a life of conflict and division, with the world viewed as the 'other'.
• 🔍 Twitter became a catalyst for change, where the speaker encountered people who challenged her beliefs through civil discourse.
• 🤝 Engaging with individuals who held opposing views led to the discovery of common humanity and the blurring of enemy lines.
• 🤔 The process of questioning and being questioned led to the speaker's doubt and eventual departure from the church.
• 💔 Leaving the church was a painful experience, marked by fear of judgment and loss of community.
• ❤️ The world's unexpected forgiveness and acceptance after leaving the church highlighted the power of empathy.
• 🌟 The speaker's journey from a life of hate to one of understanding and compassion underscores the transformative power of dialogue.
• 🗣️ The importance of not assuming bad intent, asking questions, staying calm, and making the argument were identified as key to productive conversations.
• 🌈 The speaker advocates for a society that listens and engages with those we disagree with, as a means to overcome polarization and foster unity.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial experience with protests as a child?

The speaker's initial experience with protests was at the age of five, standing on a street corner in Kansas holding a sign that read 'Gays are worthy of death', surrounded by family members and participating in what would become a daily occurrence and international phenomenon.

How did the Westboro Baptist Church view the world according to the speaker?

The speaker described the church's view of the world as an epic spiritual battle between good and evil, with the church and its members representing the good, and everyone else representing the evil.

What role did Twitter play in the speaker's life and eventual change of perspective?

Twitter served as a platform where the speaker initially encountered hostility but later found civil and genuine conversations with people who challenged her beliefs. These interactions led to the planting of seeds of doubt and a gradual erosion of trust in her church.

How did the speaker's interactions with David, the man from 'Jewlicious', impact her?

David, who the speaker had debated with online, visited her during a protest in New Orleans. Their in-person meeting, despite their opposing views, blurred the line between friend and foe, showing the speaker that people on the 'other side' were not the demons she had been led to believe.

What inconsistencies in the church's teachings did the speaker's Twitter friends help her identify?

The speaker's friends on Twitter helped her identify inconsistencies such as advocating the death penalty for gays despite Jesus's teaching to not judge, and claiming to love neighbors while praying for their destruction.

Why did the speaker ultimately leave the Westboro Baptist Church?

The speaker left the church due to a realization that they were not the ultimate arbiters of divine truth but flawed human beings, and she could no longer justify the church's cruel practices, particularly protesting funerals and celebrating human tragedy.

How did the world react to the speaker after she left the church?

Despite her past actions, many people embraced the speaker with forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt, offering her a chance to rebuild her life and repair some of the damage she had caused.

What was the speaker's experience staying with a Jewish community in Los Angeles after leaving the church?

The speaker and her sister were invited to stay with a Jewish community in Los Angeles, where they were treated like family by a Hasidic rabbi and his family, despite having protested against them in the past.

What four steps did the speaker learn from her Twitter friends that made real conversation possible?

The four steps were: 1) Don't assume bad intent, 2) Ask questions, 3) Stay calm, and 4) Make the argument. These steps were instrumental in transforming the speaker's approach to difficult conversations.

How does the speaker suggest we can break the cycle of escalating disgust and intractable conflict?

The speaker suggests that we can break the cycle by talking and listening to people we disagree with, resisting the impulse to respond in kind to hostility and contempt, and approaching others with empathy and compassion.

What does the speaker believe is the key to ending the spiral of rage and blame?

The speaker believes that the key to ending the spiral of rage and blame is for individuals to refuse to indulge in destructive impulses and to approach others with generosity and compassion, starting with themselves.