how to stop being a victim | mindset shifts to take control of your life & cut out the BS!
Summary
TLDRDieses Video erkundet das Opfermentalität und wie man sich von ihr befreien kann. Es identifiziert Anzeichen wie das Blame-Game und die Sprache in schwierigen Zeiten. Es bietet eine Reihe von Mentalitätsveränderungen, um vom Opfer zum Helden zu werden, einschließlich des Stoppens des 'Warum ich?'-Narrativs und des Übernehmens von Verantwortung. Es gibt praktische Übungen wie das Protokollieren von Erfolgen und das Herausfordern des 'Warum ich?'-Narrativs, um ein positives Leben zu führen.
Takeaways
- 😀 Manchmal kann ein Opfermentalität dazu führen, dass man in einem Kreislauf gefangen ist und keine Fortschritte macht.
- 🔄 Traumata sind real, aber sie sollten nicht deine Identität bestimmen.
- 🚫 Bleiben in einem Opfermentalität bedeutet, dass man sich selbst aufhalten und keine Chance auf Verbesserung hat.
- 🌟 Jeder hat ein Trauma, aber es liegt an uns, ob wir es als Grund für Stagnation nutzen oder als Antrieb für Erfolg.
- 🔄 Um von einem Opfer zu einem Helden zu werden, ist es notwendig, das Opfermentalität zu erkennen und es aus dem Leben zu verbannen.
- ❌ Ein Zeichen von Opfermentalität ist, andere Menschen oder Umstände für deine Probleme zu verantwortlich zu machen.
- 🗣️ Die Sprache, die man verwendet, wenn man durch schwierige Zeiten geht, kann ein Indikator für ein Opfermentalität sein.
- 🛑 Um von Opfer zu Helden zu werden, musst du aufhören, nach 'Warum' zu fragen und stattdessen nach 'Was kommt als nächstes' suchen.
- 🌈 Visualisiere dich selbst fünf Jahre in der Zukunft, erfolgreich und frei von der Vergangenheit, um ein besseres Selbstbild zu entwickeln.
- 🔄 Übernehme Verantwortung für deine eigene Entwicklung und erkenne, dass du die Kontrolle über dein Leben hast.
- 📝 Praxistipps wie das Schreiben eines 'Sieg-Logs' und das Ausüben von 'entgegengesetzten Handlungen' können helfen, das Opfermentalität zu überwinden.
Q & A
Wie kann man eine Opfermentalität erkennen?
-Eine Opfermentalität kann durch das Tragen von Schuld an anderen oder der Umgebung für eigene Probleme, das Hingehen auf das Warum der Herausforderungen und das Halten an einer Sprache der Opferrolle erkannt werden.
Was ist der Unterschied zwischen Menschen, die ihre Probleme als Ausrede benutzen und denen, die sie zu einem Antrieb machen?
-Jede Person hat eine traurige Geschichte, aber die einen nutzen sie als Ausrede, um stagniert zu bleiben und zu beschweren, während die anderen sie als Antrieb nutzen, um erfolgreicher zu werden.
Wie kann man eine positive Veränderung von Opfer zu Held machen?
-Dazu gehören die Einstellungsänderungen wie das Aufhören, nach dem Warum zu suchen und stattdessen das Was-Nächstes zu fragen, das Einnehmen einer Heldenrolle durch Identitätswechsel und das Übernehmen von Verantwortung für die eigene Realität.
Was ist die Bedeutung von 'Held-Identitätswechsel' in diesem Kontext?
-Der Held-Identitätswechsel bezieht sich darauf, sich selbst in einer zukünftigen, erfolgreichen und glücklichen Version vorzustellen, die alle Herausforderungen überwunden hat, um aus der Opfermentalität herauszukommen.
Warum ist es wichtig, die eigene Verantwortung für die Lebenssituation zu übernehmen?
-Durch das Übernehmen von Verantwortung erkennt man, dass man die Kontrolle über sein eigenes Leben hat und dass man durch eigene Handlungen Ergebnisse erzielen kann, die zu einem gewünschten Lebensergebnis führen.
Wie hilft das Buch 'By Yourself, Damn Flowers' beim Übergang von Opfer zu Held?
-Das Buch bietet in jedem Kapitel Aufgaben, die dazu beitragen, den Leser auf seiner Selbstliebe-Reise zu unterstützen und die höchste, selbstbewusste und mächtigste Version von sich selbst zu werden.
Was sind die praktischen Schritte, die in der 'Heimarbeit' des Videos vorgeschlagen werden, um von Opfer zu Held zu werden?
-Die Schritte beinhalten das Üben von entgegengesetzten Handlungen, das Erstellen eines Sieg-Logbuchs und das Herausfordern der 'Warum ich?'-Narrative.
Wie kann man die 'Warum ich?'-Narrative in ihrem Leben ändern?
-Indem man die 'Warum ich?'-Sprache abschafft und stattdessen nach Vorteilen, zu lernenden Lektionen und Möglichkeiten zur persönlichen Entwicklung fragt, wenn man eine Herausforderung oder ein Problem hat.
Was ist die Hauptbotschaft des Videos über das Überwinden einer Opfermentalität?
-Die Hauptbotschaft ist, dass man seine Traumata nicht als Identität definieren sollte, sondern stattdessen die Kontrolle über sein Leben übernehmen und sich auf die Entwicklung und den Erhalt eines erfolgreichen Lebens fokussieren sollte.
Wie kann man seine Opfermentalität durch praktische Übungen reduzieren?
-Durch das Ausüben von entgegengesetzten Handlungen, das Aufzeichnen von Siegen und das Herausfordern des 'Warum ich?'-Narratives kann man seine Opfermentalität reduzieren und zu einer stärkeren, selbstbestimmteren Persönlichkeit werden.
Outlines
🚫 Das Opfer-Denken: Wie es Ihre Zukunft blockiert
Dieser Absatz beschreibt das Gefühl des Opfer-Status und wie es das Leben blockiert. Der Sprecher reflektiert über seine eigene Erfahrung als Opfer und wie diese Mentalität ihn daran hinderte, voranzukommen. Er betont, dass Traumata real sind, aber sie nicht die Identität einer Person sein sollten. Die Botschaft ist, dass man sich nicht von Vergangenheit und Traumata definieren lassen sollte, sondern stattdessen die Kontrolle über sein eigenes Leben übernehmen und eine positivere Einstellung entwickeln muss, um erfolgreich zu werden.
🗣️ Sprache als Spiegel des Opfer-Denkens
Der zweite Absatz konzentriert sich auf die Sprache, die Menschen verwenden, wenn sie durch schwierige Zeiten gehen. Es wird erklärt, wie sich das Opfer-Denken in der Art und Weise zeigt, wie man über Herausforderungen spricht. Der Sprecher fordert dazu auf, statt sich als Unglücklich oder Verlierer zu betrachten, diese Situationen als Chancen zu sehen, um zu wachsen und zu lernen. Er betont die Bedeutung, eine positivere Erzählung zu erzählen und sich auf die Zukunft zu konzentrieren, anstatt sich von der Vergangenheit zu definieren.
🔄 Vom Opfer zum Helden: Mentale Umschichtungen
In diesem Abschnitt werden die Schritte beschrieben, die notwendig sind, um das Opfer-Denken aufzugeben und stattdessen eine Helden-Mentalität zu entwickeln. Es wird betont, dass man aufhören muss, nach 'Warum' zu fragen und sich stattdessen auf 'Was kommt als Nächstes' zu konzentrieren. Der Sprecher empfiehlt, sich selbst in fünf Jahren zu visualisieren, erfolgreich und frei von der Vergangenheit, und diese Vision als Inspiration für die heutigen Handlungen zu nutzen. Er betont die Notwendigkeit, Verantwortung für die eigenen Entscheidungen zu übernehmen und die Kontrolle über sein eigenes Leben zu ergreifen.
🌟 Praktische Schritte zur Überwindung des Opfer-Denkens
Der vierte Absatz bietet praktische Übungen und Aufgaben, um das Opfer-Denken zu überwinden und ein positives Leben zu führen. Es wird empfohlen, die 'entgegengesetzte Aktion' zu praktizieren, um automatisierte negative Reaktionen zu überwinden. Der Sprecher fordert dazu auf, ein 'Sieg-Logbuch' zu führen, um alle kleinen und großen Erfolge zu dokumentieren und sich an sie zu erinnern, wenn man sich selbstwertlos fühlt. Schließlich wird die 'Warum-ich-Erzählung' herausgefordert, indem man sich die Frage stellt, was man aus einer Herausforderung lernen kann und wie man diese Erfahrung nutzen kann, um zu wachsen.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Opfermentalität
💡Verantwortung
💡Identität
💡Wachstum
💡Narrative
💡Selbstachtung
💡Höchste Selbst
💡Entschuldigung
💡Gegensätzliche Handlung
💡Siegeliste
Highlights
Realizing the futility of a victim mentality and its detrimental cycle.
Understanding that traumas are real but should not define one's identity.
Recognizing the choice between using past experiences as an excuse or as a driving force for success.
Learning to identify victim mentality through blaming others for personal situations.
The importance of taking accountability for one's life despite external circumstances.
Shifting perspective on parents' actions by understanding their own traumas and limitations.
Changing the narrative from 'life is unfair' to seeing challenges as opportunities for growth.
Adopting a proactive language during tough times instead of a victimized one.
Embracing challenges as necessary for personal evolution and growth.
Moving from a victim to a hero mindset by ceasing the 'why me' questions and focusing on 'what's next'.
Visualizing a successful future self to break free from the victim mentality.
The power of character switching to imagine overcoming problems like a hero in a story.
Taking accountability as a step towards personal growth and away from victimhood.
Recognizing that every challenge is an opportunity for learning and growth.
Practicing opposite action to replace victim mindset reactions with empowering ones.
Creating a victory log to document and reflect on daily achievements and progress.
Challenging the 'why me' narrative by seeking benefits, lessons, and growth opportunities in adversity.
Encouragement to take control of one's story and see every experience as part of personal evolution.
Transcripts
for so many years I felt like such a
victim I was always complaining around
the way that my life was around the way
that people treated me the fact that
just nobody understands me and the
horrific card that I had been dealt in
life but thank God eventually I realized
that staying in victim mentality just
kept me stuck in the same old cycle over
and over and would never allow me to
move forward your traumas are definitely
real but they are not your identity and
the more that you choose to stay stuck
in them and allow them to create the
physical experience that you have every
single day the longer you're going to be
stuck there it's a hard truth but you
can't keep saying this is who I am
because of what happened to me every
single person on this planet has a sad
story but half of those people use it as
an excuse to stay stagnant and complain
all day and the other half use it as
their driving force to be better and
more successful than you could have ever
imagined so which one do you want to be
if it's this one then stay tuned for the
rest of the video because I'm going be
breaking down how to recognize a victim
mentality so that you can finally cut it
out of your life and then breaking down
all the mindset shifts you need to go
from victim to hero and then finally the
homework chapter where I share with you
all practical steps and tips so that you
can finally get to a successful place in
your life where victim mentality has no
place but before we get right into it be
sure to check out all of my links Below
in the description where you can check
out my two other YouTube channels one of
which is my podcast self obsessed and
the other one my Vlog Channel where you
guys can check out how I live my life
and all of my my healthy productive
routines on a day-to-day basis along
with my Instagram and Tik Tok and
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a website or a domain chapter number one
how to recognize how victim mentality is
showing up in your life and step number
one is probably the biggest which is
that you blame other people for your
situation or the happenings in your life
for example my friends are always too
busy for me my parents were never there
for me and you know what I have to talk
about the parent thing in a little bit
more detail because to be completely
honest that was me I used to feel so
unlucky with the family that I had and
the upbringing that I had and I thought
I can't believe I've been dealt this
card in my life and although it's not
false what I'm saying and although that
treatment was not deserved I had to step
out of that and take accountability my
own life to realize I cannot control
that that is an external circumstance
all I can control is the mindset that I
have around that particular situation
because there's no changing it and so
instead wouldn't I rather do myself the
favor to grab myself a little bit more
peace and happiness in my life of
realizing this is my parents' first time
living through life they have their own
set of traumas their own upbringing that
they didn't agree with either and
they're literally always doing the best
they can to try and raise you or teach
you with the knowledge and with the
resources that they have at their
disposal and if you can't relate and you
feel like your parents are always
mistreating you then it's switching your
mindset to they are hurting themselves
they didn't have the opportunity or the
time or the privilege to be able to
recognize that they had traumas to heal
and it's okay to go to therapy or it's
okay to work on yourself or you're not a
bad person for recognizing you have
weaknesses and then you need to try and
fix those to be able to be a better
person for other people and once you
realize that it finally allows you to
take yourself out of the situation and
stop this Narrative of life is so unfair
and everybody hates me and whatever I
have it's the worst case situation and
you finally start seeing things for how
they are which finally gives you the
freedom to be able to move on past it
sign number two a victim mentality is
your language when you're going through
tough times of course it feels like a
natural instinct to feel like everything
is against me you know I feel unlucky
why is this so hard for me why do I keep
failing over and over again nothing's
working out for me maybe I'm not meant
for this and while that may feel true in
the moment you are reinforcing that
narrative you are making that your
identity and you are attracting the same
old situations and results into your
life by deciding to say that throughout
every negative experience you have and
so instead when you go through a
negative experience and you switch oh my
God nothing ever works out for me too I
have to go through tough times to be
able to evolve and grow as a person and
become stronger and wiser and more
powerful I am never going to be able to
be the most ideal version of myself if I
don't go through all of the challenges
and obstacles now to be able to become
her she is only that smart and resilient
and powerful and confident because of
all of the things that Tred to knock her
down and the wisdom and the knowledge
she gained in overcoming each of those
challenges so I welcome these challenges
they are simply an inevitable part of my
journey of evolution and growth that I
need to be able to get to the next phase
and the next level in my life of growing
and succeeding and becoming the best
version of myself and so I would never
say everything bad happens to me because
in actuality everything is working in my
favor for my greater purpose and the
story line that I must go on to be able
to f fill all of my gifts and true
potential moving on to chapter number
two now that we know the two biggest
causes and signs of having victim
mentality so that we can work back from
them now it's time that I share with you
guys all of the mindset shifts you guys
need to go from victim to Hero step
number one is no more why AKA we need to
stop trying to put meaning to all of the
challenges and all of the adversities we
have because when you're so focused on
why does this keep happening to me why
can't I find a good guy why can't I
trust anyone and you're constantly
trying to find the meaning behind your
problems you are still stuck and
stagnant because you aren't actually
actioning moving on or trying a
different way of living so the mindset
shift here is to stop asking why and
replace it by asking what's next you
need to stop dwelling on the past and
how many times one situation has
happened to you and instead think if
this is a situation that I keep going
through and I don't like it okay what's
the step now to make sure that I never
have to deal with it ever again is it by
surrounding myself with different people
is it about changing my mindset is it
about showing up in a different way and
this mindset makes you feel so much more
empowered because it reinforces the
truth that you are in fact in control of
your reality whereas victim mentality
completely goes against that and tries
to train you into thinking that
everything is happening to you and you
are so unlucky step number two is my
favorite and this is character switching
I want you to take a second to imagine
yourself 5 years from now you're not
just out here existing in survival mode
questioning why everything is happening
the way it is no no no no you are
thriving you are successful you get
every single thing you ever wanted
you're living a life that reflects your
true potential one that frees you from
the shackles of your past trauma you do
not identify with the person that you
used to be in the life you used to live
because you were leveled up so much and
that right there was an example of
visualization when I was personally
trying to shift out of my Victim
mentality experience which went on for
so many years by the way I started to
visualize myself as someone who didn't
have any problems in her life who was so
so happy who was thriving who got to do
what she wanted to do for work who felt
free and this might sound so simple but
it's already so transformative because
it gets you out of the habit of having a
victim mentality and it reduces the
amount of time you're spending each day
being consumed by your problems and your
unluckiness and instead replacing it
with time where you're thinking about a
better future about how things are going
to improve about all the abundance
you're going to gain in your life which
directly goes against everything that
victim mentality stands for and so it
cancels each other out so I think think
a really powerful exercise you guys can
practice is right now to visualize a
character in a book or a movie and
imagine this character has all of the
problems that you are struggling with
right now and now think what would they
do if those problems were a part of
their story you might not know the exact
solution but you do know how boring if
while I continue to watch this movie or
read this book this character sits there
and does nothing and complains and cries
for the next hour no no no you know this
character and you know how movies end if
you know how books said this character
is going to pick up and they're going to
try something else and the story line is
going to shift and you're going to be
taken on this entire adventure of how
they solve these problems and become
better because of it so that they can
get to the inevitable happy ending of
that movie and guess what that character
is you life is a game life is like a
book or a movie you have your story and
you get to create every single chapter
and moment of it and what this really
links into and what I've been trying to
say this whole time with character
switching is this is an example of
having an alter ego which I have an
entire to this on my YouTube channel and
the form of identity switching which is
when you finally separate yourself from
everything that you are familiar with
and everything that may be real in your
Physical Realm right now and instead
shift it to who you want to be and the
last step for this chapter is to take
accountability and step into your
highest self this step really links into
the first cause that we broke down in
this video which is victim mentality is
caused by blaming external situations
and external people but this goes
directly against it because by taking
accountability and knowing I am not
where I want to be in life because I
keep skipping the gym or waking up late
or maybe I shouldn't have let that
person have access to me and then maybe
my piece would have been protected in
order to move on and create the reality
that you really want so that victim
mentality no longer has a place there we
actually have to take accountability for
the role that we play in each of these
situations because while that person
shouldn't have treated you that way and
while none of your traumas are deserved
we always had a role to play we didn't
have the correct boundaries in our life
when that person came into it we had
worked on our self-esteem and our
insecurities which then influenced the
circle that we had around us we were
procrastinating and we weren't having
our priorities for our studies in the
right place which then got us the
results that we had in the end and this
form of taking accountability is not
about feeling guilty or feeling bad
about yourself it's about recognizing
that you have all of the control and all
of the power in your life at all times
and the second that you start to realize
your mistakes something magical starts
to happen which is if these are the
actions which got me that result now you
start to gain all of the these ideas
about the next actions that you need to
implement to make sure you never get
those results again and you start to get
better ones that align to your dreams
and what links into this is stepping
into your highest self your higher self
is not consumed by its ego so when bad
things happens it doesn't think in the
way your ego does which is I can't
believe that person treated me that way
or I can't believe this happened no your
higher self thinks I needed this
experience this is teaching me something
about myself this is teaching me a
valuable lesson that I need to be able
to move on in my life I am so grateful
to have had this experience because of
the knowledge it's given me for example
your highest self knows that a breakup
isn't a failure it doesn't determine
your attractiveness or your worth or
your capabilities in finding the love of
your life it was simply a stepping stone
to refining your standards and just
finding the person that's actually meant
for you and when you look at things from
this perspective nothing is good or bad
anymore it's simply a part of your
Evolution and so you can't take anything
personally anymore there is no such
thing as being a victim in fact you're
always the hero of your story because
everything is always working out for you
and that brings us to the final chapter
of this video Chapter 3 homework AKA
practical steps to progress on this
journey to going from victim to hero in
your life by the way if you like all the
homework chapters in my videos and all
the Practical steps that I give to back
up all the advice I give then you're
absolutely going to love my book that
just came out it's called by yourself
the damn flowers and it's available
worldwide on Amazon and every single
chapter ends with a homework page that
has at least five tasks for every single
chapter that helps you progress on your
self-love journey to being the baddest
most confident empowered and highest
version of yourself so make sure you
check it out home task number one
practice opposite action all this means
is that whenever you're next presented
with a challenge or a problem which is
making you want to act in a way that
reinforces your victim mindset egy
blaming complaining feeling sorry for
yourself self-pity urge yourself to
instead replace it with the opposite
action because honestly this is a long
journey and it's going to take a lot of
practice to to get you out of this
mentality that you've been stuck in for
a long time and instead replace it with
one that aligns to your higher self but
the more often that you practice the
opposite reaction the more it's going to
feel like second nature to you and you
will literally level up into that type
of person so the next time that you want
to complain or blame you are going to
ship that and replace it with gratitude
by knowing that this is just an
inevitable step on your growth Journey
that everything is always working out
for you that this is teaching you
something but you just don't know it yet
the goal here is to just rewire your
actions and your language to break out
of the pattern the victim mentality is
keeping you stuck in her task number two
is to create a victory log I want you to
write down all of the victories that you
achieve every single day it doesn't
matter how big or how small it could
literally be making your bed if that is
something you usually struggle with you
could write down things like I didn't
snooze my alarm this morning or I woke
up 30 minutes earlier than I usually
would I got this task completed today I
went to the gym even though I felt
really shy and then at the end of every
day or simply when you're feeling a
little bit down about yourself or that
life isn't going very great you need to
read through this list and be reminded
of all of the times you showed up for
yourself all of the times you proved how
abundant and amazing and Powerful life
is because it's actually all in your
control it's so easy to forget the
progress we make every single day when
we're so consumed about where we need to
be or the next steps we need to take and
so by doing this activity you are so
much aware of all of the progress and
all of the ones you've made that it
becomes so much easier to see almost
every experience as an opportunity
rather than an obstacle and the final
homework task is probably most important
and this is to challenge your why me
narrative you stop being a victim when
you finally step away from saying why me
and start saying thank you and the way
to do this is by first cutting out the
why me language in a situation and
instead looking at the situation through
a few different angles and the easiest
way to do this is just by asking
yourself the following questions
whenever you're struggling in a certain
situation question number one is what
benefits could come from this challenge
this could be new skills a fresh start a
new mindset a little bit more knowledge
or wisdom a new standard you need to set
in your life question number two is what
lessons can I learn from this experience
basically what can you take from this
situation or challenge or adversity
that's going to then make you stronger
in the future and finally question
number three how can I utilize this
experience to grow into the best version
of myself yeah that's right you are
taking every single Challenge and
obstacle that life throws at you and
making it your bit you are always
focusing on what you can control you are
taking every single Challenge and
extracting all of the abundance and all
of the knowledge out of it to be able to
make sure that it is simply just a role
and basically your employee and making
sure that you are leveling up into the
best version of yourself and honestly
after seeing it that way why would you
ever feel like a victim again and that
brings us to the end of this video I
hope you guys enjoyed it if you did as
always please comment down below and let
me know what resonated with you what
step you really liked what piece of
advice you like and which homework task
you are going to be completing cuz I'm
going to be reading through all of your
comments and responding to some as well
so I would love to know because it
really helps me in improving my videos
and getting out more knowledge and more
value I actually made this video because
it was requested by one of you guys so
be sure to leave all of your other
requests below and yeah also check out
all of the links Below in my description
with all of my socials I post every
single day exclusive advice on my Tik
Tok and Instagram but I will see you
guys same time next week on Friday for a
brand new video bye
I me
[Music]
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