How does Responsibility shape our lives? | Radio #9

Spice & Nice
24 Aug 202409:34

Summary

TLDRIn this episode of 'Spice and Nice,' the hosts discuss parenting styles, particularly the balance between strictness and flexibility. They share personal anecdotes about their children's reactions to their structured upbringing and the importance of teaching manners and boundaries. The conversation also touches on the influence of school and the necessity for children to learn from real-world consequences and direct feedback. The hosts emphasize the need for a harmonious approach to parenting that combines both fun and discipline.

Takeaways

  • đŸ‘©â€đŸ‘§ The mother in the script is strict and values structure, which is a trait she inherited from her own mother.
  • 🧠 The daughter's lack of focus leads to accidents, such as spilling rice, which the mother sees as a teaching moment.
  • 📚 The mother believes in giving instructions to prevent such incidents and emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes.
  • 🏠 The mother insists that her daughter clean up and eat the spilled rice as a lesson, highlighting the need for responsibility.
  • đŸ‘©â€đŸ« The daughter finds her school teacher to be stricter than her mother, which has changed her perspective on her mother's strictness.
  • 👹‍👧 The father (Joey) is portrayed as a fun parent, in contrast to the mother's strict approach, creating a balance in parenting.
  • đŸ€ The parents agree on the importance of structure but also recognize the need for flexibility and balance in parenting.
  • 👋 The mother teaches her daughter about basic manners, such as greeting people when they arrive, emphasizing respect and politeness.
  • 👀 The daughter's behavior, such as not acknowledging her mother's presence, is addressed as a lesson in manners and respect.
  • đŸš« The mother does not allow her daughter to cross boundaries or behave rudely, and she expects others to correct her daughter if necessary.
  • 🌐 The mother believes in preparing her daughter for the real world by teaching her to face consequences and to be responsible for her actions.

Q & A

  • What is the main issue the mother is discussing in the script?

    -The main issue is the mother's strictness and her daughter's reaction to it, including the daughter's lack of focus and manners.

  • How does the mother define 'strictness' in comparison to 'intensity'?

    -The mother clarifies that 'strictness' is about having a structured way of life and schedule, whereas 'intensity' refers to the level of focus or energy one puts into something.

  • What incident led the mother to emphasize the importance of manners to her daughter?

    -The incident where the daughter did not greet her when she came home prompted the mother to teach her a lesson about basic manners.

  • How did the mother handle the situation when her daughter did not greet her?

    -The mother confronted her daughter about not greeting her, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging someone's presence with a simple 'hi'.

  • What is the mother's perspective on teaching her daughter about consequences?

    -The mother believes in teaching her daughter to face the consequences of her actions and to be responsible for her own life.

  • How does the mother feel about her daughter's school and its strictness?

    -The mother is glad that her daughter's school is strict, as it helps reinforce the values she tries to teach at home.

  • What is the mother's view on other parents' approach to discipline?

    -The mother appreciates when other parents correct her daughter's behavior and encourages direct feedback to her daughter rather than complaining to her.

  • How does the mother describe her parenting style in comparison to 'Joey'?

    -The mother describes herself as more strict and structured, while 'Joey' is portrayed as the fun parent.

  • What does the mother think about her daughter's behavior when she is preoccupied with something else?

    -The mother believes her daughter's lack of focus leads to accidents, like spilling rice, and uses these incidents as teaching moments.

  • What is the mother's opinion on her daughter's language and behavior learned from school?

    -The mother acknowledges that her daughter picks up language and behavior from school, and while she tries to correct it, she also accepts that some things are out of her control.

  • How does the mother handle conflicts between her children and their friends?

    -The mother encourages open communication and expects her children's friends to address issues directly with her daughter rather than complaining to her.

Outlines

00:00

đŸ‘©â€đŸ‘§ Parenting and Discipline

The first paragraph discusses the challenges of parenting, particularly the balance between being strict and maintaining a structured environment. The speaker, Nice, reflects on her own strictness and how it's perceived by her daughter, who prefers a more relaxed approach. The conversation delves into the importance of teaching children lessons, such as cleaning up after themselves when they spill food, and the value of manners. It also touches on the dynamics between parents and children, and how external influences, like school, can affect a child's perception of discipline.

05:01

👹‍👧‍👩 Setting Boundaries and Teaching Respect

In the second paragraph, the focus shifts to setting boundaries and teaching respect. The speaker addresses the issue of children crossing boundaries and the importance of correcting them when they do. There's a discussion about how parents should allow others to correct their children's behavior if it's disrespectful. The speaker also emphasizes the significance of teaching children to treat everyone with respect, regardless of their relationship. The paragraph concludes with the speaker's approach to parenting, which includes being direct and honest with her child about expectations and manners.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Strictness

Strictness refers to the quality of being strict, often in terms of enforcing rules or maintaining discipline. In the video, the mother is described as being strict, which is a central theme as it influences her parenting style and the reactions of her children. The script mentions, 'she say Mom you're too loud Mommy I don't like one thing about you that is, your strictness', illustrating the daughter's perception of her mother's strict approach to life and discipline.

💡Intensity

Intensity is the degree of strength or the level of being intense. In the script, it is contrasted with strictness, where the mother clarifies that being strict is not the same as being intense. The term is used to describe the mother's personality and her way of handling situations, such as when she says, 'strict is not intense okay no it's not, it's nothing to do with intensity it's, your way of structure that you like'.

💡Structure

Structure in this context refers to the arrangement or organization of something, often implying a systematic approach. The mother values structure, as seen when she talks about her dislike for her mother's structured schedule, 'because I was no, flexibility but is it sign thing what, right you get what I mean everything, must be in boxes'. This keyword is essential to understanding the mother's preference for order and predictability.

💡Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to bend or change easily without breaking. In the video, it is mentioned in the context of the daughter's dislike for her grandmother's lack of a flexible schedule. The script states, 'because I was no, flexibility', indicating a preference for adaptability and a resistance to rigid routines or plans.

💡Manners

Manners refer to the social norms and expectations for behavior, including politeness and etiquette. The script discusses the importance of teaching manners to the daughter, as seen when the mother corrects her for not saying 'hi', 'it's like basic maners, when you see somebody you say hi'. This keyword is crucial for understanding the mother's emphasis on social conduct and respect.

💡Consequences

Consequences are the results or effects of an action or decision. The mother in the video believes in teaching her children about consequences, as shown when she talks about her daughter needing to face the consequences of her actions, 'you have to face the, consequence of her action and her, behavior'. This keyword is key to the mother's parenting philosophy of personal responsibility.

💡Parenting

Parenting encompasses the processes of raising and caring for children. The entire script revolves around the mother's parenting style, which includes strictness, teaching manners, and emphasizing consequences. The mother's reflections on her own upbringing and how it influences her parenting are central to the video's narrative.

💡Feedback

Feedback is information given in response to something, often used to help improve or modify actions or behavior. The mother encourages feedback, as seen when she talks about other parents correcting her child, 'you have full right to, correct my child if she behaved the way, that you don't want to be, treated'. This keyword highlights the mother's open-minded approach to raising her child.

💡Harmonize

Harmonize means to make something consistent, balanced, or in agreement. The script mentions harmonizing in the context of finding a balance in parenting, 'then you find your, balance and then you harmonize'. This keyword is important for understanding the mother's efforts to create a balanced approach to raising her children.

💡Boundary

A boundary is a line that marks the limits of an area, often used metaphorically to describe limits in relationships or behavior. The mother discusses setting boundaries with her child, 'you are not to Closs it so yeah I think it's, because you're also slightly different, as a parent in Singapore'. This keyword is significant in understanding the mother's approach to teaching respect and limits.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility refers to the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. The mother emphasizes teaching her daughter to be responsible for her actions, 'be responsible for her own, uh life'. This keyword is integral to the mother's parenting strategy of instilling independence and accountability in her child.

Highlights

The episode begins with a discussion about strict parenting and its impact on children.

A child's complaint about her mother's strictness leads to a conversation about structure and organization.

The mother explains the difference between being strict and being intense, emphasizing the importance of structure.

A humorous incident involving a child jumping with a bowl of rice and the consequences of her actions.

The importance of teaching children to face the consequences of their actions is highlighted.

A comparison between the mother's strictness and that of a school teacher, showing different levels of discipline.

The child's realization that her mother is not as strict as her school teacher, changing her perspective.

The role of a 'fun parent' versus a 'strict parent' and the balance needed in parenting.

A discussion on the importance of manners and teaching children to greet others properly.

An incident where the child did not greet her mother, leading to a lesson on respect and acknowledgment.

The concept of setting boundaries with children and not allowing them to cross certain limits.

Encouraging children to treat others with respect and not just their parents, as a life lesson.

The idea that parents should allow others to correct their children's behavior if it's inappropriate.

A debate on whether children should be taught to treat everyone differently based on their roles.

The mother's approach to parenting, which includes direct communication and setting clear expectations.

The impact of the child's school environment on her behavior and the mother's parenting style.

The episode concludes with a reflection on the importance of manners, respect, and boundaries in parenting.

Transcripts

play00:00

hi guys episode of spice and nice I am

play00:03

man that's SP and I'm

play00:06

nice today she just saw me in the face

play00:08

she she say Mom you're too loud Mommy I

play00:10

don't like one thing about you that is

play00:12

your

play00:14

strictness one do with your intensity

play00:16

bab nothing to do with your intensity

play00:19

strict is not intense okay no it's not

play00:21

it's nothing to do with intensity it's

play00:23

your way of structure that you like so

play00:25

then structure your schedule because my

play00:26

mom was exactly the same and I hated it

play00:29

because I was no

play00:32

flexibility but is it sign thing what

play00:34

right you get what I mean everything

play00:36

must be in boxes yeah but if it not got

play00:39

organized for her who would organize for

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her I know was I hated it too I'm not

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saying it's not good I just say I hated

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it you know she will jumping jumping

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jumping and she hold the bow of price

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and the whole bow of price is flying the

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of course of course and she just look at

play00:54

the rice and she look at the bow and she

play00:56

look at me and she just like

play00:58

that but she know she made a mistake why

play01:01

would you be jumping around with the

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bowl of rice in the first because her

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brain is not with the bowl of rice her

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brain is somewhere she even admit to me

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after that that she not focus right yeah

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obviously but for me it's like that's

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why I give you instruction so you can

play01:15

don't do this kind of things yeah and at

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that moment I have to fight myself like

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even Joey see and he look at my face

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like should I help her should I not help

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her no you are like GRE I say I don't I

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don't make anybody help her she have to

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use hand to make everything in the bowl

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again and she have to eat that bowl

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price you you guys don't tell me that I

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make my kid eat dirty Stu no the floor

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is it's a house it's a house floor she

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need to learn her lesson okay if this is

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her food and it's on the road and it's

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got sent and this the only meal she have

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for the next 4 day how do that happen

play01:47

right make Fall by

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yeah yeah and certain thing you need to

play01:53

be structures yeah I know the strict and

play01:56

you cannot every you cannot everything

play01:59

flexible I agree it doesn't mean I have

play02:01

to like it I know right and that's the

play02:03

thing it's like it's like oh I should

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eat like chicken breast and tofu but you

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know what I'm glad I'm glad that she go

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to school that teacher is more strict

play02:11

than me wow yes and now I teach is more

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strict must go outside I tell you the

play02:17

whole school because the school is top

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10 in sing so ah that explains why my

play02:23

school is so very yeah so she were like

play02:25

Mommy you strict but you see only 1%

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only my teacher is small so it's okay

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because the teacher got his performance

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review if your kids behave badly yeah so

play02:36

she say her teacher is way more strict

play02:37

than me so I'm finally from a a scary

play02:41

mom I become an

play02:42

angel my mom is okay she's not so

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straight like that yeah yeah she finally

play02:47

realized that but she say I'm still

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straight compared with Joey right but

play02:51

Joey is you need a fun parent and stet

play02:54

parent oh yeah yeah yeah no I'm Joey is

play02:57

a fun parent I'm totally support that

play02:59

I'm not not want to deal with that I'm

play03:01

okay with but now he also start feel

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annoying because he no because he start

play03:05

feel they both fighting over the weekend

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because of that as well you know but so

play03:11

they come to the day that now right now

play03:12

you know they the same but it's like

play03:14

that you have to do this and then you

play03:16

can kind of like then you find your

play03:18

balance and then you harmonize I like

play03:21

how after I go to class done and I go

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out and I see him and her like two like

play03:25

want to kill each other what happened

play03:28

and he were like you know I love her but

play03:29

sometime I just feel like you know

play03:31

because she's really she's really too

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all she's not too she's really all over

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the place yeah today when I today when I

play03:40

came in h because she so her brain is

play03:42

not focused right yeah she not so today

play03:44

when I came in the house she didn't say

play03:46

hi to me so I I don't want to I don't

play03:48

want to I'm like okay I'm not okay you

play03:50

know so but she's she's playing a game

play03:52

she saw me she didn't say hi to so she I

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just put on my back down and do all my

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things she said she start

play04:00

she said oh you know that I see my

play04:02

weapons like something like that right

play04:04

like see my game BL blah blah I think

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she treat you as family member no know I

play04:08

said to her I said did you he say hi to

play04:09

me you talking to me now you talking to

play04:11

me now you didn't say hi to me earlier

play04:13

right what makes you think I want to

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answer a question now then she say oh

play04:17

hi but I think this lesson needs to be

play04:19

thought right it's like basic maners

play04:21

when you see somebody you say hi I mean

play04:24

not saying you touch them or what inside

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right she get used so comfortable with

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people after for to that she not treat

play04:31

them like guest anymore it's not about

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treat for me it's basic basic man so

play04:36

that's like when I and that's why she

play04:38

don't like me when I asked her why you

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say hi to the yeah I I don't get so I'm

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like oh you talk to me now you want to

play04:43

answer you when you didn't acknowledge

play04:44

my existence when I came me y she wet in

play04:46

her face she got it so she was like hi I

play04:49

said no you want to say hi hi I said

play04:52

okay why you see why show me then she

play04:56

like that's horrible no no no

play05:01

but it's it's a light it's just a light

play05:03

lesson it's not no you should give more

play05:04

lesson you see the the thing of like for

play05:07

example the boy don't don't come or like

play05:10

Joey always let her to play like cross

play05:13

cross the boundary I call and I both

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come to me and say hey ever lying in the

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game ever cheating in the game then I

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look at both of these little boy and the

play05:22

little man and I say she never she never

play05:26

do that to me because I never allow you

play05:28

both allow her to do it

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don't ask me why because people will

play05:32

always expect the parent to fix the kid

play05:35

I said you are allow the kid to treat

play05:37

you certain way you have full right to

play05:39

correct my child if she behaved the way

play05:42

that you don't want to be

play05:44

treated right because you she treat me

play05:47

different and they say yeah but I should

play05:49

teach her to treat everyone different if

play05:51

that's person for example I say if I

play05:53

don't go there and jump and people ask

play05:55

people buy toy for you but that person

play05:58

you say no it's okay she the kid it's

play06:00

okay what do you want what do you want

play06:01

to buy for you it's you train the kid to

play06:04

treat you that it's not just kid it's

play06:06

anybody anybody yeah it's like it's like

play06:08

why some people they say oh how come

play06:10

people are not so rude to you I say it's

play06:13

because I don't allow people to do

play06:15

correct correct I mean I'm not good you

play06:17

have to have a bound yeah I'm not good

play06:19

like and in the sense that I would tell

play06:20

like oh you you know like and give that

play06:22

a piece of mind I will

play06:24

just you have no more access to me

play06:27

that's it and then I walk away she very

play06:30

nice I'm not that nice yeah but it's but

play06:32

it's the same that I'm telling them that

play06:34

regardless as a boundary right and you

play06:36

are not to Closs it so yeah I think it's

play06:39

because you're also slightly different

play06:40

as a parent in Singapore a lot of

play06:41

parents are very protective not so if

play06:43

you sco the kid they be oh why you SC my

play06:45

K you know I more happy but for end

play06:48

she's like it's good to have feedback I

play06:51

also pushed Joey to to do that I also

play06:53

push Maya to do that I say if you're not

play06:56

happy with her you tell to her face no

play06:58

because you why are you telling to me

play07:00

you want Ava to learn what the real how

play07:01

the real world was exactly not every

play07:04

when she grows up you're not going to be

play07:06

there yeah nobody's going to come to

play07:08

like hey you know your kid that didn't

play07:10

go to work today can you please ask come

play07:14

tomorrow you have to face the

play07:16

consequence of her action and her

play07:18

behavior and be responsible for her own

play07:20

uh life and also that person need to

play07:22

learn how to willing to be tell to her

play07:25

face all that I don't like how you treat

play07:27

me that's it you have to to do it for

play07:30

yourself man like I don't I cannot

play07:33

follow everybody to manage my kid you

play07:36

know what I mean yeah so I mean I teach

play07:38

certain thing but the rest are like come

play07:40

on whack in her face mean not whack

play07:43

whack but like I didn't whack I just say

play07:44

oh I say wack in the word yeah I'm

play07:46

trying to say like just say in her face

play07:49

and she is a strong baby she can take

play07:51

your word I know that's why I told but I

play07:54

yeah my teaching way different from yeah

play07:57

and say basically it's telling her that

play07:59

you cannot just talk to me when you want

play08:01

to talk to me you should say hi first

play08:05

you need to have a polite mannering

play08:07

manners right okay it's much better now

play08:11

last time when I first came walk she

play08:13

didn't she didn't look at me she I

play08:14

remember she put ah head that right she

play08:17

always make people think I'm a bad

play08:20

mother I'm a monster mother and she very

play08:23

cute and all that but no she I just felt

play08:25

the first time I felt I was like she not

play08:27

saying hi I okay

play08:30

say hi say hi maybe she feel a bit Moody

play08:32

today I don't know right she just

play08:34

sometimes she in something she do F she

play08:37

focus on something and she don't

play08:39

Focus the first few times I came now she

play08:41

not shy anymore now she get used to say

play08:43

hi no she say I'm a crazy yeah that's

play08:45

why she told me she said you're crazy

play08:48

you crazy I'm like okay that's you know

play08:50

a lot of language that kid use is just

play08:51

from the school yeah no matter how much

play08:54

you correct at home I don't mind her

play08:55

call calling me crazy because I guess

play08:57

compared to you I'm considered very

play08:59

crazy

play09:00

I still try to fix it but while you

play09:03

cannot fix something every morning the

play09:06

kid and we will see you guys at the next

play09:08

episode of spy I am and the SP ni bye

play09:14

[Music]

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Étiquettes Connexes
Parenting AdviceStrictnessMannersBoundariesFamily DynamicsDisciplineChild BehaviorEducationalParent-Child RelationsBehavioral LessonsParental Guidance
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