Life Lessons and College Adventures in College Essay Writing | Mark Hernandez | TEDxGunnHighSchool

Summary

The speaker dedicates a talk to Mr. David, a teaching idol, emphasizing the importance of clean, non-egotistical writing in college essays. They discuss the 'elephant in the room' plea for readers to continue engaging with the essay. The speaker outlines three tests for effective writing: literacy, avoiding arrogance, and understanding the reader's experience. Using personal anecdotes and metaphors, they stress the need for clarity, humility, and empathy in writing to ensure readers remain invested.

Takeaways

• 📚 Dedication: The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, a teaching idol and a brilliant man, emphasizing the importance of gratitude and admiration in teaching.
• 📝 Clarity: The central plea of college essays is to engage the reader to continue reading the next sentence, highlighting the necessity for clear and compelling writing.
• 🧐 Literacy Test: Writing cleanly and without errors is crucial for passing the 'literacy test' in college essays, as it ensures the reader's smooth progression through the text.
• 🚫 Jackass Test: Avoiding arrogance and self-aggrandizement in writing is essential to pass the 'jackass test', ensuring the reader does not perceive the writer negatively.
• 🤔 Gets It Test: Demonstrating an understanding of the reader's experience and perspective, known as the 'gets it test', is vital for creating a connection and maintaining reader interest.
• 🏆 Uniqueness: The speaker's personal essay about Star Wars, despite being unconventional, was memorable and stood out, suggesting that uniqueness can be an asset in writing.
• 🎯 Target Audience: Recognizing the audience's effort to read and engage with the essay is important, as it influences how the writer crafts their message.
• 🔍 Attention to Detail: The importance of small details is underscored by the Titanic metaphor, illustrating how neglecting them can lead to significant consequences.
• 🤷‍♂️ Overconfidence: The speaker's experience with law school applications shows the pitfalls of overconfidence and the value of understanding the process and requirements.
• 📉 Humility: The need for humility in writing is highlighted, as it prevents the writer from coming across as boastful or self-aggrandizing.
• 🔄 Adaptability: The anecdote about the Star Destroyer demonstrates the importance of adaptability and thinking on one's feet, which can translate to writing as well.

Q & A

Who does the speaker dedicate the talk to and why?

The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, who still teaches at the school, because he is the speaker's teaching idol, a brilliant man, and a wizard, and the speaker loves him very much.

What is the 'elephant in the room' the speaker refers to in the context of college essays?

The 'elephant in the room' is the plea for the reader to continue reading the next sentence, which is the essence of what college essays aim to achieve.

What are the three tests the speaker mentions that one must pass to write a compelling college essay?

The three tests are the literacy test (writing cleanly), the Jackass test (not coming across as arrogant), and the 'gets it' test (understanding the reader's experience).

What book did the speaker read during a dark period in their reading career, and how did it impact them?

The speaker read 'Titanic: Death and Life of a Legend' by Michael David. It made them feel joy and relaxation due to the clean grammar and appropriate use of language, which stood in stark contrast to the poorly written essays they had been reading.

What is the significance of the Titanic metaphor in the speaker's narrative?

The Titanic metaphor is used to emphasize the importance of paying attention to small details in writing to avoid causing a disaster, similar to how the Titanic's fate was sealed by overlooked details.

What does the speaker mean by the 'Jackass test' in the context of writing college essays?

The 'Jackass test' refers to ensuring that the writer does not come across as arrogant or self-aggrandizing in their essay, which would be a turn-off for the reader.

Can you explain the 'gets it' test according to the speaker?

The 'gets it' test is about understanding the reader's perspective and experience while reading the essay. It's about writing in a way that resonates with the reader and makes the essay memorable.

What is the story of Bing Bong and Sadness from the movie 'Inside Out' used to illustrate in the talk?

The story is used to illustrate the importance of empathy and understanding emotions in writing, which can make an essay more relatable and impactful.

What is the speaker's personal anecdote about applying to law school and how did it end?

The speaker tried to submit a law school application in person despite the instructions specifying online submission. They were told to make it double-spaced and later realized the importance of understanding the reader's perspective.

What was the speaker's college essay about and what was the outcome?

The speaker wrote a college essay about a Star Wars short story involving Star Destroyers and shield generators. Surprisingly, it was well-received and they were invited for an interview for a scholarship.

What is the key takeaway from the speaker's experience with writing essays?

The key takeaway is that writing should be clean, relatable, and memorable to make the reader want to continue reading and ultimately remember the content.

Outlines

00:00

📝 The Essence of College Essays: Readability and Connection

The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, a revered teacher, and introduces the central plea of college essays: the need for the reader to be compelled to read the next sentence. The speaker emphasizes the importance of literacy, clean writing, and the ability to engage the reader. Using the metaphor of the Titanic and a book that provided a refreshing reading experience, the speaker illustrates the significance of writing without grammatical errors, allowing for smooth transitions between sentences. The first test for essay writers is to demonstrate clean English writing, which is crucial for capturing and maintaining the reader's interest.

05:01

🧠 The 'Jackass Test' and Understanding the Reader's Experience

The speaker outlines the second test for essay writers: avoiding arrogance and demonstrating humility. Writing self-aggrandizing statements is discouraged as it reflects poorly on the writer. The third test, the 'gets it' test, is about understanding the reader's experience and what it takes to be genuinely engaging. The speaker uses the story from the movie 'Inside Out' to illustrate empathy and understanding, showing that acknowledging the reader's journey is vital. The anecdote about professional table tennis players and the speaker's own experience with a law school application further emphasize the importance of respecting the reader's time and providing value through clear, concise, and relatable content.

10:01

🚀 Creative Risks and the Unexpected Outcomes of Essay Writing

The speaker recounts a personal story of writing a creative and risky college application essay about Star Wars, which surprisingly led to an invitation for a scholarship interview. This narrative highlights the power of clean, unique, and memorable writing. The speaker admits that while the essay was not conventional, its readability and distinctiveness made it stand out. The experience taught the speaker about the importance of standing out in a sea of applicants, suggesting that taking creative risks can sometimes yield positive results.

15:02

🔍 Reflections on Writing and the Importance of Standing Out

In conclusion, the speaker reflects on the importance of writing that is both easy to read and hard to forget. They acknowledge that while their Star Wars essay may not have been the best in terms of traditional merit, its clarity and uniqueness made it memorable. The speaker emphasizes the increasing competition in writing and the need to make each sentence count, urging writers to consider the reader's investment of time and attention. The talk ends with an invitation to follow the speaker for more insights, highlighting the ongoing journey of improving writing skills.

Keywords

💡Dedication

Dedication is the act of committing something to someone as a sign of respect or honor. In the video, the speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, who is described as a teaching idol, indicating a deep sense of admiration and the influence he has had on the speaker's teaching philosophy.

💡Elephant in the Room

The phrase 'elephant in the room' refers to an obvious issue or fact that is being ignored or not addressed. The speaker uses this metaphor to describe the unspoken plea in college essays for the reader to continue reading, which is a central theme in the video.

💡Clean Writing

Clean writing is the ability to write clearly and without errors, making the text easy to read and understand. The speaker emphasizes the importance of clean writing in passing the 'literacy test' of college essays, using the example of reading a well-written book that provided a refreshing contrast to poorly written essays.

💡Jackass Test

The 'Jackass test' is a term coined by the speaker to refer to the need for a writer to avoid coming across as arrogant or self-aggrandizing in their writing. The speaker warns against phrases that might make the reader perceive the writer as a 'jackass', such as boasting about personal achievements in a self-congratulatory manner.

💡Get It

'Get it' in this context refers to the writer's understanding of the reader's experience and the nature of the writing process. The speaker uses the example of the movie 'Inside Out' to illustrate the importance of empathy and emotional intelligence in writing, suggesting that a writer must 'get' what the reader is going through to keep them engaged.

💡Table Tennis

The speaker uses the example of professional table tennis players to illustrate the point that many people do not appreciate the level of skill and dedication required in any profession, including writing and admissions. This serves as a metaphor for the need to respect the craft of writing and the effort that goes into creating compelling essays.

💡Personal Statement

A personal statement is a written piece that reflects an individual's experiences, goals, and motivations, often required as part of college or job applications. The speaker discusses the challenge of writing a personal statement for law school, highlighting the need for clarity and adherence to guidelines.

💡Star Wars

The speaker recounts writing a personal essay about 'Star Wars' as a form of protest against what he perceived as an unnecessary essay requirement. This anecdote serves to illustrate the speaker's point about the importance of standing out and being memorable in writing, as well as the potential pitfalls of non-traditional approaches.

💡Scholarship Interview

A scholarship interview is a process where candidates are evaluated for financial support based on merit or need. The speaker's unexpected invitation to a scholarship interview after submitting his unconventional 'Star Wars' essay underscores the impact of clean, different, and memorable writing.

💡Memorable Writing

Memorable writing is text that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of creating writing that is both easy to read and hard to forget, suggesting that this quality can significantly influence the reader's engagement and perception of the writer.

Highlights

The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David Enla, a teaching idol and a brilliant man.

The central plea of college essays is to engage readers to continue reading the next sentence.

The 'elephant in the room' metaphor is used to describe the unspoken need for compelling writing in essays.

Three tests are identified for compelling essay writing: literacy, non-jackassery, and understanding the reader's experience.

Writing cleanly is crucial for passing the literacy test and making an essay easy to read.

The importance of clean grammar and punctuation is illustrated with the Titanic metaphor.

The 'Jackass test' emphasizes humility and avoiding self-aggrandizement in writing.

The 'Gets it' test is about understanding the reader's journey through the essay.

Sadness from the movie 'Inside Out' is used as an example of understanding emotions in the reader.

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a disastrous law school application attempt.

A humorous story about a Star Wars essay written for a college application is recounted.

The unexpected positive response to the unconventional Star Wars essay highlights the value of uniqueness.

The importance of respecting the profession of admissions officers is discussed.

The speaker reflects on the significance of writing that is both easy to read and hard to forget.

A call to action for writers to pass the three tests and create impactful essays is made.

The talk concludes with an invitation to follow the speaker for more insights and content.

Transcripts

my talk is please read the next sentence

I like dedicate this talk to mr. David

enla who still teaches at the hetero

school

he's my teaching idol and a brilliant

man and a wizard and I love him very

much I'm so grateful for him there's one

idea there's one message there's one

plea really that is at the heart in the

subtext of nearly every college essay

that I've ever read and in fact it's

such it's such an elephant in the room

and it's such a big and obtrusive and

obvious elf in the room I've often

talked it and my students can tell you

this I've said that at some point

someone's gonna wise up and actually

announce this elephant the room as the

first lie in their essay and the

elephant in the room this plea this idea

is very simply please read the next

sentence because that's the whole game

of admissions essays we want people to

just please read the next sentence and

then the next sentence and the next

sentence and the next sentence until

finally someone says yes we need this

person to come to our school and that's

we want to do we want to make sure if

people read our next sentence but that's

it's easier said than done as easy just

haven't done and I've written a lot of

college essays I've read thousands I've

edited thousands and I can tell you the

thread experience there are three tests

do you really have to pass if you want

people to continually read your next

sentence until they say yes they want

you in their school and the first test

is the literacy test how to pass this

test you have to show that you can write

cleanly can you write the English

language clean you cleanly

can you write clean sentences now I have

the image of the Titanic there because

it reminds me of a book that I don't

know is any good but I can tell you it

might have saved my soul it's called

Titanic death and life of a legend and

it's by Michael David again not sure

it's very good because I haven't

finished it but it did start it now I

started it in November of 2018 I've

finished it when I started in 2018 in

November 2018 and I came to this book at

a very dark period in my reading career

I was reading two scores essays they

were just written and riddled with all

sorts of mistakes of any number of types

if you may if I may here I was

is drowning drowning and drowning in

really bad si he's really bad si so I

got really down on the whole right

enterprise thank you and so I picked up

this book and I started reading it and I

got a few pages in this bizarre

sensation came over me

I was just filled with joy and

relaxation our breathing deeper deeper

and I said oh my god that's right I like

reading it was he was clean Grammer

there were semicolons used appropriately

he was just so wonderful and it really

called in a very clear relief how

important it is to write cleanly it made

such a difference and again I'm sure the

writer is very good it was just clean I

could go from one sentence to the next

without pausing to get really disturbed

by mistakes so I'm here to tell you

writing cleanly makes a big big

difference and it's the first important

test you got to pass you want people to

read your next sentence now I'm an

English teacher so of course I cannot

miss the opportunity to mention another

metaphor and that's this I mean the

story of the Titanic as far as I've got

in the book is one that says if you

don't pay attention to small details big

things can fall the second test the

Jackass test you have to pass all right

can you prove in your writing that

you're not a jackass if you find

yourself ever writing I don't quite know

how to put this but I'm kind of a big

deal you're a jackass if you ever find

yourself writing people often ask me how

I can be so accomplished so capable so

wonderful and yet still remain so humble

and I tell them the truth it's not easy

you're a jackass you a jackass if you

ever find yourself writing everyone said

that getting perfect grades and the

perfect score in the end the SAT and the

a CT as well everyone said that was

impossible

boy did I show them you're a jackass

you're a jackass so this is an important

test one that's easy to pass I hope I

hope for most of us of trying to be a

jackass the next test is a harder one to

really get wrap your mind around

sometimes but it is important it is the

gets it test do you get it you get with

this enterprise all about you get your

audiences going through you get what

it's like to be reading your essay and

again it's a hard test to sort of define

but I can tell you someone who gets it

you know who gets it sadness great right

sadness guess if you haven't seen the

movie it's fine if you have seen it's

inside out it's fine here's what I can

tell you though what you need to know

about this is shot here sadness and joy

there are emotions in Riley's head and

they have to get back to headquarters

otherwise Riley will never be the same

so they have to go back to headquarters

and they need Bing bongs help now the

problem Bing bong has is he's seeing his

rocket slash wagon be thrown in the dump

and he's very sad about this because

signals the end of his relevance it's a

huge deal for him right now there's joy

and joy says hey let's go here's a

tickle monster so on and so forth right

let's go it's not working

and then sadness sits down with Bing

bong and says you must feel horrible I

must be very sad about this that wagon

that Rocco is very important to you it's

gone forever and now you've lost me

important and he cries a little candy

and he finally said okay you know what

that's good

I can go let's move on and it starts

with sadness getting in this was a

sadness understanding I see what you're

going through and I'm willing to be here

for you before you need to be here for

us and it's a major step that people

need to pass animators tests people need

to pass in order a few sentences to get

read now

I've heard in the world of a river story

once that in the world of professional

sports

no one is disrespected nearly as much as

professional table tennis players right

nobody goes up to Tom Brady and says hey

Tom you know I think I could beat you in

a passing contest okay

no one goes up to LeBron James and says

you know I played a ball in high school

I could hoop in high school what do you

say we get some one-on-one nobody says

that

but routinely people on meeting table

tennis players they say you know I had a

table in my basement

growing up or I was really good at the

club let's get a game right and they

show this trim and by the way they lose

every time by the way right shutout and

sometimes a table tennis player that go

left handle these really disgusting

display really embarrassing for the

initial challengers right so it matters

though is it is it shows level

disrespect like they don't know the ends

announce what it takes to be a

professional table people than this

player all these sacrifices that these

have that these people have to make and

that's true for a lot of professions I

will say this including teaching so it's

true for a lot of professions at man

also includes yes admissions officers

right a lot of people don't get what it

takes to be one these professionals what

they go through and database instead and

for sure I didn't by the way I didn't

until I had a disastrous attempt to turn

in a law school application in person

now yeah bless you must be my class so

so I had two reasons for going to turn

this thing in and out and in person one

was stupid and one was legitimate the

stupid reason was I thought I'd go in in

person and I would show some charm

because I'm mark Hernandez why not and

and and I would say well they can't turn

me down once they meet me so that was

part of it that was really stupid and

the second reason was legitimate the

application said we want a personal

statement of two pages we'll get that in

a second so okay so first of all I knew

for a fact you're supposed to turn these

things in online I knew that so it was a

mistake number one was to try to do this

in person mistake number two was I was

late I showed up after the office is

supposed to be supposed to close mistake

number three was I decided to move

forward anyway and I saw the doors open

and so I went up there and

you know what we're gonna do it okay I'm

gonna go try this I'm gonna go trim

application it's gonna be great it's

gonna work all this charm this person

and I'll ask my question I'll be out of

there I'll be great and remember my face

that's gonna so forth right so I'll go

in there and this probably is an unfair

representation of what the person looked

like it probably is unfair and this

probably is too but it's not that far

off in the seam line but there I was and

again the whole point there's ago charm

them right eye so I stand there by the

door and then finally she acknowledges

me

pretty much that feats by the way and

and she's and I go okay well so so so hi

hi hi I'm Marc Marc Marc Marc Marc

Hernandez Marc Hernandez and and and and

and I I'd like to apply to law school

and she says right we accept only online

applications right right right but I

have one here I thought I thought I

thought I thought I thought I see the

trouble so much trouble so here you go

I'd like to apply to law school and she

goes right again we accept only online

applications okay okay so I started

turning around I walk out and I stopped

myself because I remember I had a

question and it's lejeune reason for

going the question again now the prompt

said the personal Sam prompt said write

a personal statement of two pages now

I've given FSA assignments to no that's

not good enough right do you what's the

word count right do you mean two pages

single-spaced two pages double-spaced

that matters that matters a ton that

matters a ton for my approach because I

hadn't read the essay other that matters

of ten so I needed to know this answer

because it wasn't nowhere to be found

online and so yeah well okay I'm sorry

sorry sorry Paul you put but but so so

so so the the essay is supposed to be to

two pages you say but is that you know

single spaced or double-spaced and she

goes we read over 5,000 application

essays every year so yeah go ahead and

make it double spaced

okay okay did I walk off and until then

I didn't get it until it I didn't get it

and if I understood what these people

went through then this next story would

have made a lot more sense a lot sooner

and this actually harkens back to me

applying to college where I applied to

the beautiful University of California

San Diego now I want to bog down the

details here but I was fairly confident

in my in my admission by according my

math according to the math they provided

me it was a foregone conclusion and I

was deep in the application process so I

was sort of fed up with writing essays

and so I decided I would do everyone a

favor and so I called them up and I

called them up and I said look I'm sure

you know who I am this is Mark Hernandez

you probably heard of me and I'm

applying to your school and I see that

I'm pretty much mathematically

guaranteed admissions so what do you say

we just skip the essay

wait really have to write one and they

said yes yes you do I wasn't very happy

about this and I always got so indignant

and self-righteous and so forth and I

was very upset what am I supposed to do

at this point I don't know what's going

I'm gonna do it so you know what finally

then I decided to get really snarky with

it and then I decided to take one for

the team I was gonna be a freedom

fighter of sorts and you know what I did

I decided to just write a story about

Star Wars like full-on just just a short

story right about um so my favorite

ships of Star Destroyers now if you

don't know about Star Destroyers it's

fine if you don't here's we need to know

for the story they are tough ships to

deal with the best way to deal with them

you had the only way to deal them that

we know of is to take out their shield

generators now the shield generators are

on these towers on top of the deck this

is something they come across finally in

restore the Jedi and yes the a-wings

decide to attack these shield generators

and then it's good for business right

that's how you down to start asteroids

you go for the shield generators right

so okay so my story is I am the leader

obviously a an x-wing squadron and we're

going to attack a Star Destroyer here

run assignment we're gonna go you know

destroy it and then get the hell out of

there so we go there and we jump out of

Lightspeed and sure enough there we are

and we decide to attack the Star

Destroyer and we go for obviously we go

for the shield generators first and we

destroy them fantastic it's over it's

done let's get out of here a big problem

it's not destroyed yet right is still

fully functional so what's happened

they've clearly moved the shield

generators in some sort of elaborate

ruse right so they've moved it somewhere

else and so I figure out and I notice

that there's a lot of concentration of

fire coming from one spot and I say aha

that's what they've got to be and so I

say okay you know you know red group

green group gold group all groups you

know attacked that spot and sure enough

that's what shield generators are sure

enough we destroy the Star Destroyer

sure enough success headed a Lightspeed

end of essay right there was no like oh

here's what I learned there was no I

want to be a leader there's none of that

okay and I swear I swear folks I wrote

this thing in 20 minutes 20 minutes I

was so again so indignant so

self-righteous I'm like oh yeah you're

gonna make me write an essay watch this

and is only really got after it 20

minutes I swear I swear that's pretty

excited myself pretty pleasing myself

and then I got a phone call and I got a

really freaked out because they say look

is this mark Hernandez yes this is the

University of California San Diego oh

and I'm thinking that the thoughts are

racing that I'm caught they call my

bluff they read it

I think they'd read it I'm done for I'm

hoes they're gonna borrow me for any

college ever it's totally over and on

the other line they say look we all we

all talk about wrestling yeah okay I can

explain I can explain and they say well

would you consider flying down to

University and University California San

Diego to interview for region

scholarship is one of the best essays

we've ever read

wait hey go seriously and they said yeah

and they go okay

so I flew down and interviewed and a

long long table of people and long story

short long story short I didn't okay I

did okay

and I got it now I'm here to tell you

folks I'm here to tell you that I don't

looking back on I don't know that my

essay was actually any good

I really don't and I say that with all

due respect and humility in all of it

what I do know though is my essay was

clean and it was different and what that

means is it was easy to read and hard to

forget now

I think people make me I'll make a

mistake and when I started thing of this

talk and yes it started as college

college essay writing it applies to all

writing

I mean people sometimes make a mistake

of thinking look my writing is so

important everyone was looking forward

to reading my writing write mine is the

only thing that we're gonna read it in a

given day and that's wait wait ah right

we're not getting any more minutes or

hours at it today and the number of

things the people that are writing goes

up every day and people expect it to

people write more every day and feel

excited to read more every day so people

are reading just what yours you're just

one of thousands there's one of

thousands so when you're asking people

to read your next sentence if the

increasing becomes more and more of an

investment you're asking to people and

so therefore it becomes even more

important to make sure you pass these

tests make sure you're writing cleanly

make sure that you're not a jackass and

make sure that you get it make sure you

give your audience's code what your

audience is going through and you do

that I do think you can write stuff that

is going to be easy to be easy to read

and hard to forget and when you do that

then people read your next sentence

forever and forever forever it'd be

really good for business for you and I

think it'd really help you so if you

want to read some more tweets and cool

stuff follow me

[Applause]