Never meet halfway: understanding what a date is

Summary

Dr. Orion terban's talk on 'Psycha' explores the concept of not meeting halfway on a date. He argues that a date should be about connection and sexual possibility, and meeting halfway complicates the logistics of a potential sexual encounter. As men are expected to plan and lead towards this possibility, Dr. terban advises they should choose locations close to their own space to maintain control and increase the likelihood of a successful date. He also suggests using this approach to gauge a woman's interest and character.

Takeaways

• 🚫 Avoid Meeting Halfway: Dr. Orion terban emphasizes that meeting halfway for a first date is not advisable as it complicates the logistics for a potential sexual encounter.
• 💬 Definition of a Date: A date is defined as a combination of connection and sexual possibility, not just a meeting or an interview.
• 🤝 Connection First: The script suggests that a date should start with emotional connection, allowing time for arousal to develop, which is particularly important for women.
• 🚶‍♂️ Men's Responsibility: Men are expected to plan the date and guide the relationship towards a sexual encounter, as women typically do not initiate this aspect.
• 🏠 Logistical Planning: Dates should be planned with ease of returning to a private location in mind, which often means planning near the man's place.
• 👤 Woman's Role: Women are expected to follow the man's lead and show interest by accepting invitations that require minimal effort on their part.
• 🛑 Test of Interest: Refusal to meet at a location not halfway can be a test of a woman's interest and willingness to engage in the dating process.
• 💰 Resources and Effort: The script discusses the资源交换 between men and women, where men offer resources and planning, while women offer sexual opportunity.
• 🔄 Avoid One-Sided Dates: One-sided expectations, such as meeting for coffee halfway with no sexual possibility, are likened to job interviews rather than dates.
• 🧐 Character Test: The reaction of a woman to not getting her way can be a quick indicator of her character and the potential for a successful relationship.
• 📚 Book and Resources: Dr. terban promotes his book 'The Value of Others' and offers a free newsletter, as well as GRE test prep through Stellar.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed by Dr. Orion terban in this talk?

The main topic discussed is the concept of 'never meet halfway' in the context of dating and mating, and the importance of planning dates to facilitate a connection and sexual possibility.

What does Dr. Orion terban define as a date?

A date is defined as a combination of connection plus sexual possibility, where the potential for the connection to become sexual must exist.

Why does Dr. Orion terban argue against meeting halfway for a first date?

Meeting halfway can make it logistically difficult to realize the sexual opportunity, which is an essential part of a date according to his definition.

What are the two scenarios where a date is not considered a date according to the script?

A date is not considered a date if it has sexual possibility but no connection, which is a hookup, or if it has connection but no sexual possibility, which is an interview.

What does Dr. Orion terban suggest is the man's role in planning a date?

The man is expected to plan the date and move the relationship in the direction of a sexual encounter, as women rarely initiate this aspect.

Why does Dr. Orion terban believe that dates should be planned close to the man's place?

Planning dates close to the man's place provides a clean, safe, private, and easily accessible environment, which is more conducive to actualizing the sexual opportunity.

What does Dr. Orion terban see as a potential issue with meeting for coffee halfway?

Meeting for coffee halfway is impractical for a sexual opportunity and is more akin to a screening interview rather than a date.

How does Dr. Orion terban view the woman's role in the dating process?

He suggests that women should also make an effort, such as traveling to the date location, to show their interest and participate in a give-and-take relationship.

What is the purpose of the GRE test mentioned in the script?

The GRE test is a requirement for many master's degree and doctorate programs, and Dr. Orion terban used to be a top GRE test prep instructor.

What advice does Dr. Orion terban give to men regarding the planning of dates?

He advises men to plan dates in their immediate vicinity to increase the likelihood of a successful sexual encounter and to set the right expectations from the beginning of the courtship process.

What is the name of the online GRE self-study program mentioned by Dr. Orion terban?

The online GRE self-study program is called Stellar GRE.