Why successful men use escorts: what the rich and the beautiful have in common

Summary

Dr. Orion Taban explores why successful men might choose to use escorts in the first part of a three-part series. He challenges the assumption that these men are merely 'losers' and explains how the economics of dating change with success. Taban argues that as men's value in the 'sexual marketplace' increases, traditional dating becomes more expensive and time-consuming, leading some to seek alternatives like escorts to avoid the emotional labor and financial costs of conventional dating.

Takeaways

• 📚 The speaker, Dr. Orion Taban, clarifies that the talk is not an endorsement of prostitution and shares a personal shift in perspective regarding men who use escorts.
• 🤔 A common misconception is challenged: successful men who use escorts are not necessarily 'losers' but may have legitimate reasons tied to their unique challenges in the dating market.
• 💼 The talk is aimed at women to help them understand the problems faced by highly successful men, which could be useful for those seeking long-term relationships with this demographic.
• 💸 As one's success in the 'sexual marketplace' increases, traditional dating becomes more expensive in terms of time, energy, and money.
• 👠 The 'sweet spot' for attractiveness and success can avoid the downsides of being exceptionally beautiful or wealthy, which come with their own set of problems.
• 💰 High earning men, such as those making high six to low seven figures, can face a unique set of problems that are often misunderstood or dismissed by less successful individuals.
• 🕰 The time cost for a successful man dating can be prohibitive, especially when considering the hourly rate of their profession.
• 💡 The use of escorts by some successful men may be due to the high cost and effort of traditional dating, rather than a lack of attractiveness or options.
• 📈 The script suggests that the economics of dating change with success, impacting both men and women differently and creating a complex dynamic in the dating market.
• 📝 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics to better position oneself in the dating market, especially for those seeking relationships with successful men.
• 📑 The transcript also mentions the speaker's book and newsletter, indicating a broader context of discussing value and relationships beyond the scope of this specific talk.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk is why successful men use escorts, and it is the first part in a three-part series on this subject.

What is Dr. Taban's initial stance on the use of escorts by men?

Dr. Taban initially held a judgmental view, thinking that men who used escorts were losers who couldn't get access to women without paying for it.

How has Dr. Taban's opinion on men using escorts changed?

Dr. Taban's opinion has changed due to numerous conversations with men who have used escorts and his own experiences in the sexual marketplace.

Who is the target audience for Dr. Taban's talk?

The talk is specifically addressed to women to help them understand the unique problems of highly successful men who might be the type of men they would like to target for a long-term relationship.

What is the 'sweet spot' for a man's income according to the talk?

The 'sweet spot' for a man's income is high six low seven figures a year, which provides a comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle without the additional problems that come with higher wealth.

Why does Dr. Taban believe that traditional dating becomes increasingly expensive for highly successful men?

Traditional dating becomes expensive for highly successful men because their time is extremely valuable, and the process of dating, including dealing with rejection and planning dates, can be time-consuming and costly.

What is the example given to illustrate the cost of dating in terms of time for a successful man?

The example given is a corporate lawyer who bills his time at $1,300 an hour. A 3-hour date with an hour of commuting would cost him $5,200 in terms of the value of his time.

What does Dr. Taban suggest is the emotional labor performed by men in dating?

Dr. Taban suggests that men perform emotional labor in dating by being charming, funny, or cool, stimulating women's emotions, arousing attraction, and showing genuine interest without giving the impression that it's work for them.

What is the 'invisible 90%' mentioned in the script?

The 'invisible 90%' refers to the majority of men on dating apps who are functionally ignored by all women, not receiving matches or engagement.

Why might a highly successful man choose to use escorts despite having good optionality with women?

A highly successful man might choose to use escorts because traditional dating becomes prohibitively expensive in terms of time, effort, and emotional labor, and there is no guarantee of attraction or a sexual encounter.

What is the purpose of the book 'The Value of Others' mentioned by Dr. Taban?

The purpose of the book 'The Value of Others' is not explicitly stated in the script, but it is available for pre-sale on Amazon and likely relates to the themes discussed in Dr. Taban's talks.