You’re NOT lazy, You’re Scared: How to Force Yourself to Take Action

Summary

Salim, a med student, challenges the common belief that procrastination and laziness are the main barriers to achieving goals, instead suggesting fear is the real culprit. He introduces 'The Step Method,' a four-part strategy to overcome fear and make progress. This includes reframing fear, creating clarity through prioritization, focusing on the process rather than perfection, and visualizing progress to stay consistent. Salim emphasizes learning from mistakes and the importance of daily reflection to track and improve one's journey towards goals.

Takeaways

• 😌 The primary barrier to achieving goals is often not laziness or procrastination, but fear and the avoidance of failure.
• 🎓 Salim, a med student, emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear to make progress towards goals.
• 🔑 The Step Method is introduced as a four-part strategy to understand problems and take actionable steps towards achieving goals.
• 😨 Fear of failure can lead to procrastination and a lack of motivation by causing people to focus on imaginary problems.
• 🔄 Reframing fear is essential; shifting from fear to excitement can empower individuals to take action.
• 📝 Creating clarity is crucial; a 'brain dump' can help identify and prioritize the most important tasks.
• 🔑 Prioritizing the top three tasks and breaking down resistant tasks into manageable parts can alleviate fear and promote action.
• 🎨 Focusing on input rather than perfection allows for learning from mistakes and compounding results over time.
• 🤔 High achievers often struggle with perfectionism, which can hinder progress if they can't achieve immediate perfection.
• 📊 Visualizing progress through daily reflection and tracking can help maintain consistency and motivation.
• 👀 Not reflecting on daily activities can lead to a loss of track of progress and goals, making it important to review and adjust as needed.
• 🌐 Feeling behind in life is a common issue, especially with social media influence, but overcoming this fear is discussed in a separate video by Salim.

Q & A

What is the main barrier to achieving goals according to the speaker?

The main barrier to achieving goals, as mentioned in the script, is not procrastination or laziness, but rather the fear of failure.

Who is Salim and what is his educational background?

Salim is the speaker in the script, who has completed an undergraduate degree, a postgraduate degree, and is currently a medical student.

What is the Step Method and how does it help in overcoming fear?

The Step Method is a four-part strategy introduced by Salim that helps in understanding the problems related to fear and provides actionable steps to make progress towards goals.

Why does fear of failure lead to procrastination or lack of motivation?

Fear of failure leads to procrastination or lack of motivation because it causes individuals to focus on problems that don't exist, preventing them from taking action.

What is the concept of 'Reframe Fear' and how can it be beneficial?

'Reframe Fear' is the idea of shifting one's perspective from fear to excitement, which can empower individuals to get things done by changing their emotional response to challenges.

How does creating a brain dump help in gaining clarity?

Creating a brain dump involves listing everything that needs to be done within a short time frame, which helps in identifying the most important tasks and organizing the mind, thus providing clarity.

What is the significance of prioritizing the top 3 tasks in one's to-do list?

Prioritizing the top 3 tasks helps in focusing on what is most important and time-sensitive, allowing for better time management and ensuring that critical tasks are completed first.

Why is it important to understand the resistance to certain tasks?

Understanding the resistance to certain tasks is important because it often stems from a fear of something, and by identifying the cause, one can break it down into manageable parts and overcome it.

What is the drawing scenario with two groups of students and what does it teach us?

The drawing scenario involves one group aiming for one perfect picture in 30 days and another group drawing a new picture each day. It teaches us that focusing on consistent input and learning from daily practice leads to better results than aiming for perfection.

How can focusing on input rather than perfection help in achieving goals?

Focusing on input allows individuals to learn from their mistakes and improve over time. It prevents the fear of starting something due to the inability to achieve perfection, thus promoting consistent progress.

What is the importance of visualizing progress and how can it be done?

Visualizing progress is important as it helps individuals to track their consistency and stay motivated. It can be done by writing down daily reflections on what went well and what didn't, and by keeping a visible record of progress.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with the feeling of being behind in life?

The speaker suggests dealing with the feeling of being behind by reflecting on personal progress, tracking daily activities, and understanding that everyone has their own pace and path to success.

Outlines

00:00

😨 Overcoming Fear to Achieve Goals

Salim, a med student, challenges the common belief that procrastination and laziness are the main barriers to achieving goals. He argues that fear is the real culprit, causing people to focus on non-existent problems and avoid taking action. Salim introduces 'The Step Method,' a four-part strategy to understand and overcome this fear. The first step is recognizing that fear of failure is often the root of procrastination and lack of motivation. He provides examples of how fear manifests in different scenarios, such as starting a fitness journey or aiming for academic excellence. To combat this, Salim suggests reframing fear by shifting one's perspective from anxiety to excitement, akin to how some students feel relieved after an exam. The video promises further actionable advice to help viewers move from fear to action.

05:02

📝 Creating Clarity and Focusing on Input

The second part of Salim's strategy involves creating clarity to overcome the fear of being overwhelmed by tasks. He suggests a 'brain dump' exercise to list all tasks within three minutes, which helps in identifying priorities and reducing the mental load of smaller tasks. Salim then advises prioritizing the top three tasks based on time sensitivity and importance. Additionally, he recommends identifying and breaking down tasks that cause resistance due to fear. He uses a classroom scenario to illustrate the benefits of consistent practice over perfectionism, emphasizing the importance of focusing on learning and improving through regular input. Salim also addresses the common issue of high achievers' fear of imperfection, which can hinder progress, and encourages embracing mistakes as learning opportunities.

🔍 Visualizing Progress and Reflecting on Actions

In the third part of the script, Salim discusses the importance of visualizing progress to maintain consistency and motivation. He suggests writing down daily successes and failures to reflect on what went well and what didn't, and how to improve for the next day. This reflection process helps in tracking progress and understanding any shortfalls. Salim shares his personal experience of tracking his gym progress, noting how it revealed gradual improvements even when physical changes were not immediately apparent. He emphasizes the value of this approach, especially when results are long-term, and mentions the availability of free templates on Notion for those interested in implementing this strategy.

Keywords

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions, often due to a lack of motivation or fear. In the video's context, it is identified as a barrier to achieving goals, but the speaker argues that it's often rooted in fear rather than laziness. For example, the script mentions that fear of failure can lead to procrastination, as individuals focus on imagined problems instead of taking action.

💡Fear

Fear, in this video, is presented as a primary obstacle that prevents individuals from taking action towards their goals. It is suggested that what is commonly mistaken for laziness or procrastination is actually a manifestation of fear. The script uses the example of worrying about gym equipment or membership costs as a fear-induced procrastination tactic that prevents starting to work out.

💡The Step Method

The Step Method is a four-part strategy introduced by the speaker to help overcome fear and make progress towards goals. It involves understanding the root of procrastination, creating clarity, focusing on input rather than perfection, and visualizing progress. The method is designed to shift one's perspective from fear to excitement and action.

💡Reframe Fear

Reframe Fear is a concept within The Step Method that encourages individuals to change their perspective on fear. It suggests shifting from a mindset of fear to one of excitement, as illustrated by the script's example of comparing someone who is anxious about an exam's outcome with another who is excited that the exam period is over.

💡Create Clarity

Create Clarity is the second step of The Step Method, focusing on organizing thoughts and tasks to reduce the overwhelming feeling caused by fear. The script describes techniques such as brain dumping and prioritizing top tasks to achieve this clarity, which helps in managing the fear of being unable to complete everything.

💡Brain Dump

A brain dump is a technique mentioned in the script where one quickly lists all tasks they can think of within a short time frame, like 3 minutes. This method helps in creating clarity by surfacing the most important tasks first and preventing smaller tasks from overwhelming the mind.

💡Prioritization

Prioritization is the process of ranking tasks in order of importance or urgency. In the video, it is used as a part of creating clarity, where the speaker advises identifying the top three tasks that need to be done, considering factors like time sensitivity and importance.

💡Resistance

Resistance in the script refers to the reluctance or avoidance of certain tasks due to an underlying fear. The speaker suggests identifying the cause of this resistance and breaking tasks down into manageable parts to overcome it, as exemplified by the speaker's own experience with studying neurology.

💡Focus on Input

Focus on Input is a strategy that encourages learning through doing and making mistakes rather than striving for perfection. The video contrasts this approach with the perfectionist mindset, which can lead to inaction due to fear of not being able to achieve flawless results. It emphasizes the importance of regular practice and learning from errors.

💡Visualize Progress

Visualize Progress is the fourth step of The Step Method, which involves tracking and reflecting on daily activities to maintain consistency and motivation. The script suggests writing down what went well and what didn't, and using visual aids like progress trackers to keep the momentum going.

💡Perfectionism

Perfectionism is portrayed in the video as a potential pitfall that can exacerbate fear and hinder progress. It is described as the tendency to seek flawlessness in one's work, which can lead to inaction if the individual feels they cannot achieve perfection. The speaker warns against the dangers of perfectionism and encourages focusing on the learning process instead.

Highlights

The biggest barriers to reaching goals are often perceived as procrastination or laziness, but the real issue is fear and fear of failure.

Salim, a med student with an undergrad and postgraduate degree, emphasizes the impact of fear on progress and shares his personal experience with overcoming it.

Introduction of 'The Step Method', a four-part strategy to understand problems and take actionable steps towards goals, with a focus on high achievers.

Understanding that fear of failure is the root cause of procrastination and lack of motivation.

Examples of how fear manifests in everyday life, such as worrying about gym equipment or the anxiety of aiming for an A+ grade.

The concept of 'Reframing Fear' to shift from fear to excitement, using the analogy of different attitudes post-exam.

The common misconception that productivity is about doing more, which can exacerbate fear and lead to inaction.

Creating Clarity through a 'brain dump' exercise to list tasks within a time constraint to prioritize the most important ones.

Prioritizing the top 3 tasks based on time sensitivity and importance, with an example of daily tasks like going to the gym and responding to emails.

Identifying and breaking down tasks that cause resistance due to underlying fear, using the example of studying neurology.

A scenario illustrating the benefits of consistent daily practice over striving for perfection, as seen in the drawing example with two groups of students.

The importance of focusing on input and learning from mistakes rather than aiming for perfection, especially for high achievers.

The common tendency among high achievers to be perfectionists, which can hinder progress due to fear of imperfection.

The practice of reflecting on daily activities and its importance in visualizing progress, with an example of not exercising and forgetting about it.

Writing down daily successes and failures to understand progress and areas for improvement, as part of visualizing progress.

Making progress tracking visible through methods like daily logs or charts to maintain consistency and motivation.

The challenge of feeling 'behind in life' and the impact of social media on perceptions of success, with a reference to a related video.

Transcripts

Most people believe that the biggest  barriers to reaching their goals are  

a problem of procrastination,  or a problem with being lazy.

But what if I told you that, you’re not a  procrastinator and you’re not lazy - the  

real reason you’re not taking action  is because you’re scared and afraid..

I’m Salim, I’ve done an undergrad and  postgraduate degree, and now I’m a med student.

And over the years, I’ve seen how much  of an impact the feeling of fear has  

had in holding people back from making progress.

But from personal experience,  

I know how overcoming fear can push you in  the right direction to reach your goals.

So I’ll go through a four part  strategy called The Step Method.

This method involves both understanding your  problems and actionable steps to help you make  

progress towards your goals, with the second last  step being especially useful for high achievers.

So the first step is to understand that, a lot  of your problems related to procrastination,  

discipline, or motivation, is likely caused by  one thing - and that’s your fear of failure.

This fear causes you to procrastinate or not feel  

motivated, because you start focusing  on problems that don’t even exist.

For example, maybe you wanted  to work on your physical health,  

but then you started worrying  about what equipment you’d need,  

or the price of a gym membership - so  you never even got to start working out.

Or maybe you’re a student wanting to get an A+,  

but this goal gives you anxiety - so you start  worrying about all the content you need to cover,  

whether you have enough time to go  through them and which resources to use.

This fear of feeling as though you can’t  fully prepare makes you think that it’s  

not going to work out, so you procrastinate  instead of just getting on with studying.

And if this sounds like a problem you have,  the solution to this is to Reframe Fear.

You must have experienced a  situation where you just had an exam,  

and you kept worrying that you failed, and  focused on all of the mistakes you’ve made.

But then there was this one guy who finished  the exam and looked relieved and excited,  

and talked about how they finally  have freedom now that exams are over.

This fear you have and the excitement they  have are on different ends of the same scale,  

and being able to shift from the side  of fear to the side of excitement is  

going to give you the power to get things done.

And the rest of this video covers the  actionable advice to help you do exactly this.

So to start, a big problem that keeps people  in the wrong end of the scale is that,  

we’re taught that the more we get  done the more productive we are.

But trying to do too much feeds into this fear  because you feel as though you can’t finish  

everything, so it becomes too much for you to  handle - and that stops you from doing anything.

So after reframing fear, the second step,  

is to Create Clarity - and  there’s a few ways to do this.

The first is to create a brain dump -  give yourself only 3 minutes to list  

down everything you can think of  that you need or want to get done.

This gives you clarity because the  time pressure makes you think of the  

most important things first, and organises  your mind so that the smaller tasks won’t  

inflate how much you actually have to  get done - because 5 small chores can  

feel like a lot in your mind, even  if it all only takes 10 minutes.

The second thing is to then prioritise  the top 3 things that you need to do.

You can do this by figuring out  which things are time sensitive,  

what’s something you can get done later in  the day or week, and what’s not as important.

For example, I might write down going to the gym,  

practising the piano, recording my  next video, and responding to emails.

Recording is time sensitive since I need to then  edit before my weekly upload day, gym can wait  

until later on in the day, same for piano, and  responding to emails can always wait a few days.

The final thing to create clarity is to  pick out anything in your list that you  

have a resistance to doing - this resistance is  caused by a fear of something, so understand the  

cause by writing down why you don’t want to do  it, and break it down into manageable chunks.

For example I remember when I avoided  neurology because it was difficult,  

so I broke it down into different topics,  started with the fundamentals, and watched  

videos to learn more - and that made me confident  in the topic before I moved onto the next.

And now for the next point,  I have a scenario for you.

Imagine a class with 30 students, and  they’re split into two groups of 15.

One group is told to draw a single  picture at the end of 30 days,  

where they aim to make that one  picture as perfect as possible,  

and the other group is told to draw one picture  each day, and start from scratch the next day.

Which group on average do you think had  the better drawings on the last day?

The ones that did one each day did better,  not the group aiming for perfection.

And that’s because they could  focus on different things each day,  

whether that’s spending a day on learning  about shading, another on outlines, or another  

on colours - it all helped them focus on the  smaller details that makes the bigger picture.

So in a similar way, what you  should do, is Focus on Input.

Instead of trying to be a perfectionist, allow  yourself to be bad at the start and experiment,  

because you’ll learn from your  mistakes more than your successes,  

and what you learn will  compound your results over time.

A lot of high achievers do the opposite and call  themselves perfectionists - but this creates  

a problem where if they can’t do something  perfectly, they get a fear of even starting.

And this isn’t meant to be an attack,  but when have you ever done anything  

important perfect? Because I know  I haven’t done anything perfect.

When I play the piano, I make a load of  mistakes but I learn from them so that I  

can improve my technique, or when I do practise  questions I might get them wrong initially,  

but that gives me a direction for topics  that I need to spend more time on.

Know that this is the case with everyone at  the top of their game, whether that’s the best  

footballers, artists, or high achieving students  - they made mistakes through regular input, and  

it’s this quantity that gave them a direction to  focus on, which lead to the success they have now.

And now for the next point, there’s a  very simple thing that top students do  

to overcome the fear of not being good enough  or the fear of not making progress - and this  

simple thing makes it possible for them to  consistently improve on what they’re doing.

And I’ll explain by asking you a  question - at the end of the day,  

how often do you think back on  what you did throughout the day?

It’s fair to say that most people don’t  really reflect on how the day went,  

and because they don’t do this, it very  much becomes the ‘out of sight out of  

mind’ feeling where people very easily forget  and lose track of the content of their days.

The classic scenario of this is when people  say they’ll start exercising tomorrow,  

but when tomorrow comes and goes,  they don’t look back on the day to  

think about why they didn’t exercise,  or have any visual reminders of it.

So now the fourth step, is to  Visualize Progress - and again  

there’s a few ways to do this and  I’ll give an example at the end.

The first is to write down in a few sentences what  went well in your day, and what didn’t go well.

Check whether you got through the  top priorities you previously set  

for yourself, or even if you were able to do more.

If you fell short, try to  understand what went wrong  

and how you can change that for the next day.

The second thing is to make this all  easily visible for you every day,  

so that you can visually  track how consistent you are.

For example, over the past few months  it doesn’t feel as though I’ve made  

much progress on my physique even  though I’ve been eating well and  

training hard - but every day I’ve been  keeping track of the weights I’m lifting,  

reflecting on the intensity of each  workout, and how often I’m going to the gym.

And doing this, I noticed that even though I  couldn’t see physical changes, I saw that I  

was gradually lifting heavier weights, but  that I could up the intensity a bit more.

Reflecting on and tracking progress is especially  important when the results are far in the future,  

because it visualizes the small  steps of progress you are making,  

and helps you stay consistent  as you tick them off daily.

I have free templates for these on  Notion so definitely check them out.

But another problem is that, even after you  overcome your fears and start taking action,  

you might feel as though you’re behind  in life and have a lot of catching up to  

do - especially when you see so many  successful people on social media.

And that can make it difficult for you  to see any point in what you’re doing,  

when someone your age is 10  times as successful as you are.

So in this video here, I talk about how  I overcame feeling behind in life to get  

to where I am today, and you can learn  more about this, by watching the video.