'Dealing with Disappointment' | HANDLEBAR SESSIONS | EP. 14

Summary

In this episode of The Handlebar Podcast, SB and Sarah Beth discuss dealing with disappointment from a faith-based perspective. They emphasize the importance of being honest with God about your feelings and trusting in His goodness. They share personal stories of how they navigated through disappointment by bringing their raw emotions to God and receiving His truth in return. The podcast also encourages listeners to engage with their content, visit their website for donations and merch, and submit questions for future episodes.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The Handlebar podcast is supported by donors and listeners can donate on their website.
• 🛍️ The website also features merchandise such as sweaters, tote bags, mugs, and beanies.
• ❓ Listeners can submit questions on the website, which are then addressed in the podcast.
• 💔 The episode discusses dealing with disappointment, citing Proverbs about hope deferred making the heart sick.
• 🙏 Encouragement to be honest with God about disappointments and to seek His touch for healing.
• 🎙️ Mention of a personal story about disappointment related to pregnancy, highlighting honesty with God.
• 📖 Reference to John 14, where Jesus talks to his disciples about handling sorrow and disappointment.
• 🧠 Discussion on the importance of processing disappointment to prevent bitterness.
• 👨‍👩‍👦 Comparison of talking to God with talking to a father, emphasizing the importance of expressing true feelings.
• 💬 Encouragement to bring one's true feelings and disappointments to God to receive His perspective and healing.

Q & A

What is the main theme discussed in the podcast episode?

The main theme discussed in the podcast episode is dealing with disappointment and how to process it with faith and honesty.

Who asked the question about dealing with disappointment, and where are they from?

The question about dealing with disappointment was asked by Ria, a 20-year-old from Chattanooga, Tennessee.

What Bible verse is mentioned in relation to disappointment?

Proverbs 13:12 is mentioned, which says, 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.'

What personal example does Sarah Beth give regarding disappointment?

Sarah Beth shares her experience of feeling disappointed when it took over a year to get pregnant with her daughter, Rosie.

How does Aaron relate disappointment to the story of Jesus and the disciples?

Aaron relates disappointment to the story in John 14 where Jesus prepares his disciples for his departure, which would crush their expectations of him becoming king.

What analogy does Aaron use to describe unprocessed disappointment?

Aaron uses the analogy of spoiled milk to describe unprocessed disappointment, saying it can get worse over time and lead to bitterness.

What did Sarah Beth's spiritual mentor advise her to do when dealing with disappointment?

Sarah Beth's spiritual mentor advised her to be completely honest and unfiltered with God about her feelings of disappointment.

What significant experience did Sarah Beth have while expressing her disappointment to God?

While expressing her disappointment to God, Sarah Beth experienced a breakthrough where she began praying in a new prayer language and felt delivered from her burdens.

What is the importance of honesty with God in dealing with disappointment, according to the hosts?

The hosts emphasize that being honest with God about disappointment allows Him to meet us in our pain and provide healing and perspective.

What practical steps do the hosts suggest for dealing with disappointment?

The hosts suggest getting alone with God, being honest about your feelings, and listening for His response and truth to replace lies you may believe.

Outlines

00:00

🌄 Introduction and Podcast Information

SB welcomes viewers from Park Cities, Utah, and introduces The Handlebar Podcast's YouTube channel. She highlights the support from donors and encourages viewers to visit their website to donate, check out merchandise like sweaters, tote bags, mugs, and beanies, and submit questions. She expresses excitement for the new podcast format, where they have ten-minute conversations. The discussion focuses on disappointment, citing Proverbs and sharing personal experiences of feeling disappointed, particularly in God, and encourages listeners to be real and honest with Him.

05:00

🌱 Processing Disappointment

The podcast hosts discuss how feeling disappointment is a sign of being alive and caring about something. They emphasize the importance of processing disappointment with God to avoid bitterness. Using an analogy of spoiled milk, they explain how unchecked disappointment can lead to negative emotions. The conversation highlights the need for true intimacy with God, comparing it to a child expressing disappointment to their father and receiving comfort and a better perspective in return.

10:02

🌳 Honesty with God

The hosts delve into the importance of honesty with God, even when it involves expressing anger and disappointment. They share personal anecdotes, including one about struggling with infertility, to illustrate how being real with God can lead to healing and a deeper understanding of His character. They discuss how God can handle raw emotions and desires our honesty, urging listeners to be vulnerable and open with Him to receive His perspective and healing.

15:05

🌺 Exchanging Lies for Truth

The discussion continues with an emphasis on how disappointment often reveals deeper lies we believe about God. The hosts stress the importance of bringing these lies to God and allowing Him to replace them with His truth. They cite Isaiah 61, which promises beauty for ashes and joy for mourning, and share how being honest with God about disappointment can lead to profound personal transformation and a closer relationship with Him. They encourage listeners to read Isaiah 61 and be open to God's healing and truth.

Keywords

💡Disappointment

Disappointment is a feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations. In the video, the speakers discuss dealing with disappointment and how it relates to unmet desires, such as not getting a job or not being able to get pregnant. They emphasize the importance of being honest with God about these feelings and processing them with His help.

💡Hope deferred

Hope deferred refers to the feeling of prolonged waiting for something one deeply desires, which can lead to heartache. This concept is mentioned in the context of a verse from Proverbs discussed in the video: 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.' This highlights how unmet expectations can affect one's emotional and spiritual well-being.

💡Honesty with God

Honesty with God involves openly sharing one's true feelings, thoughts, and struggles with Him, rather than hiding or suppressing them. The video emphasizes the importance of being real with God about disappointments and trusting that He can handle and respond to these honest expressions, leading to deeper healing and understanding.

💡Spiritual apathy

Spiritual apathy is a state of indifference or lack of enthusiasm towards spiritual matters. In the video, it is mentioned as a topic previously discussed, indicating its relevance to the theme of dealing with disappointment and how such feelings can lead to a diminished engagement with one's faith.

💡Father's perspective

Father's perspective refers to seeing one's situation or struggles from God's point of view. The speakers in the video discuss how processing disappointment with God allows one to gain His perspective, which often brings comfort and a better understanding of His plans and goodness, even in difficult times.

💡Beauty for ashes

Beauty for ashes is a biblical concept from Isaiah 61, symbolizing God's ability to bring good out of bad situations. The video references this idea to illustrate how God can transform disappointment and sorrow into something beautiful and meaningful, emphasizing hope and redemption.

💡Tree of life

Tree of life represents a state of fulfillment and vitality. In the video, the verse 'a desire fulfilled is a tree of life' from Proverbs is used to show the contrast between the pain of unmet desires and the joy and renewal that comes when those desires are realized, symbolizing hope and the eventual reward of faith and patience.

💡Processing sorrow

Processing sorrow involves working through feelings of sadness and grief with the help of spiritual practices and God's guidance. The video highlights that acknowledging and dealing with sorrow, rather than ignoring it, is crucial for emotional and spiritual health, preventing bitterness and fostering healing.

💡Prayer language

Prayer language refers to a form of speaking in tongues, a spiritual gift believed to involve speaking in a heavenly or unknown language during prayer. In the video, one speaker shares a personal experience of receiving a new prayer language while expressing deep disappointment to God, illustrating a profound spiritual encounter.

💡Healing

Healing in this context refers to the emotional and spiritual restoration that comes from addressing and processing disappointment with God's help. The video emphasizes that true healing involves bringing one's brokenness and pain to God, who then provides comfort, perspective, and ultimately, transformation and renewal.

Highlights

Introduction to The Handlebar podcast and its support from donors.

Mention of the podcast's website where listeners can donate and purchase merchandise.

Introduction of the podcast format, focusing on 10-minute conversations.

Discussion of a question from a listener, Ria, about dealing with disappointment.

Exploration of disappointment in relation to spiritual beliefs, including references to Proverbs and personal experiences.

Importance of being honest with God about disappointment and personal struggles.

Example of disappointment when trying to get pregnant and the feelings of disbelief in God's goodness.

Discussion of Jesus' teachings on disappointment and how to process sorrow.

Analogy comparing unresolved disappointment to spoiled milk.

Personal story of dealing with disappointment in sports and receiving encouragement from a parent.

Insight on bringing shame and disappointment to God to receive His perspective and healing.

Emphasis on the shared human experience of disappointment and the need for vulnerability with God.

Encouragement to be honest with God and to bring personal struggles to Him for healing.

Personal story of finding freedom through expressing raw emotions to God.

Conclusion with a prayer for listeners struggling with disappointment and those seeking a relationship with God.

Transcripts

hey guys it's SB I'm in the beautiful

Park Cities Utah look at that and I

wanted to welcome you to our YouTube

channel I wanted to let you know that we

are supported by donors so if you've

been blessed by our podcast and any way

you can go to our website The Handlebar

podcast.com and you can donate there

also on our website we have really cool

merch so go ahead and check that out as

well we have cool sweaters tote bags

mugs beanies name it and then if you

want to submit a question to us you can

also do that at the website so thanks

for tuning in and we love you bye

Welcome to The Handlebar

podcast hey guys welcome back to The

Handlebar podcast this is

sessions where it's just two of us yeah

um we do 10minute conversation and we do

this for you guys we're really excited

about this um format and so I'm excited

to do this with Sarah Beth last time we

did this it was really powerful yeah um

we talked about like spiritual apathy MH

and the Lord just really showed up

showed up makes sense I think he cares

about that yeah yeah so let's see what

we're going to talk about today uh we

have Aaron he's gonna ask us our

question all right here's a question how

do you deal with

disappointment this is from Ria who's 20

years old and lives in Chattanooga

Tennessee how do you deal with

disappointment

wow it's a broad question yeah it's a

it's a good one yeah all right let me

start the

timer disappointed have you ever been

disappointed yes the first thing I think

of is a verse in Proverbs that says hope

deferred makes the heart sick that's

right but a desire fulfilled is a tree

of life so I think the first thing that

comes to mind is if you're disappointed

more more than likely especially if

you're disappointed with God your heart

is sick and needs to be touched by him

yes and so I want to encourage people if

you're in the middle of disappointment

know that a desire fulfilled is coming

and it will be like a tree of life to

you but I think the main thing I've

learned

through feeling disappointed is that I'm

not actually disappointed in whatever

situation is before me whether it be a

relationship that was lost a job that I

didn't get a thing like uh when I wanted

to get pregnant so bad with Rosie and it

took over a year W I was disappointed in

all those things but there was a deeper

thing going on in my heart that I was

disappointed with God and not only

disappointed but like didn't believe

that he was actually good yes so I think

if you're dealing with deep

disappointment and you think it's

towards someone or in a situation I'm

not saying those things aren't valid but

I am saying check your heart with the

Lord and you know we sing that song

you're never going to let me down I've

sang that so many times being like I

feel like you have let me down but he

can handle that he can handle that and

I've learned that when I'm real with him

instead of just you

know saying the right things and hoping

to believe the right thing about him but

when I'm real with him and I say Lord

I'm disappointed let's just say I'm

disappointed that it took me it's taking

me so long to get pregnant this is in

the past with Rosie um it's it's like he

can handle that he can handle me saying

like I don't really think you're going

to come through I don't think you're

good why because he shows me who he is

his character um so I know I just dove

in real deep real fast but we got 10

minutes so why not I I think it's crazy

because this

conversation is really connected to

being honest with God right I think I

mean I'm thinking of our pastor who

teaches about

disappointment from John 14 where Jesus

is talking to the disciples he's having

this conversation with them before

basically all their dreams are going to

get crushed is what it looks like is

they're having this idea that Jesus is

going to become king he's been preaching

about a kingdom they're going to rule

and reign with him and they have these

ideas that this is actually going to

happen and he's going to die crazy a

very different thing is going to happen

and Jesus is with them right before he

dies and is like hey guys I'm going to

turn there I'm leaving yep I'm going to

go say don't let your heart and he says

don't let your heart to be troubled and

and he also promises that some crazy

stuff is going to happen but he says I'm

going to my father's house and you know

the way to where I'm going so there's he

gives this basically this way to process

your sorrow and I think what happens a

lot is we get disappointed it's normal

kids get disappoint

appointed

um it that's not a bad thing it's

actually good that you get disappointed

or you get sad because it means you

cared about something your heart is

alive if you're never getting

disappointed you're afraid of getting

disappointed so you're just like oh no

that doesn't affect me like I'm not I'm

not offended by that or anything that's

a sign to me that you've actually shut

off a lot of your heart towards desire

because you're afraid of being affected

by things yeah that's good but there's a

way to deal with disappointment and

that's what Jesus is is after right here

because Jesus understands the heart yeah

and he he recognizes that if that

disappointment stays there unchecked and

is never processed with the Lord yeah

it's going to get really nasty yeah it's

like an open door to just going downhill

bitterness and bitterness yes because

it's it's like

milk okay tell me about that well like

if if milk goes bad like one day you

just got to throw it out or whatever

right but the longer you leave it in

there it just gets weird and that's what

happens to our hearts when we don't when

we don't deal with the sadness or feel

the sadness of a moment and we just

think no like it'll be fine and it's not

going to be fine they start to get sour

like spoiled milk then they start

growing other things like spoiled milk

that's so true I can I can think back in

my own life of times where I thought I

was big enough to just say you know this

this I'm going to be fine

God that does not work no that does not

it's not true intimacy it's not like

it's not true relationship with our

father like I'm thinking about if I if

I'm going to my dad let's let's just say

I think actually this happened in real

life like so many conversations with my

dad I was a volleyball player growing up

and if we would lose I wouldn't on the

way home I wouldn't just be like oh

whatever it's fine like I'm I'm good I'm

happy Dad let's go eat lunch I'd be like

man I'm so disappointed I wanted to win

so bad dad and he would always have a

better word for me but you did so good

you were so consistent on the court you

were it's like making me emotional

thinking about it cuz it's like when I

am real with my father he always has a

better word for me when I'm saying God

I'm disappointed about this like I'll

never forget I was so disappointed that

I wasn't pregnant yet with my first baby

and I went to church one night I like

laid on the altar gave it all to God

thought it was gone right the

disappointment I get a text from someone

right when I'm getting in my car that

like a family member is pregnant wow and

it's so funny to think about now cuz I'm

going to have my third kid and I'm like

whoa but in the moment it was very real

for me and I I felt that little like

twinge of first of all like are you

kidding me Lord I just gave this to you

this is an absolute joke and so I knew I

was still really sick in my heart

because I was angry all the things and

um and I remember just crying in my car

after I got that text and being like God

I I don't I don't think you're going to

do this for me yeah and I just saw a

picture of him like my dad when I would

tell him about those those

disappointments in the volleyball games

just kind of understanding an

understanding look but like smiling eyes

of like oh if you could only see what

was coming like when I would tell my dad

about those the disappointment with my

volleyball games little did I know that

I would play in college one day and I

would get to go play volleyball in China

and I would get to do all these crazy

things but it's like my father knows he

sees he sees all of my potential he sees

all of the good plans that he has for me

so he's listening he sees the truth so

he's listening and he's invested but

he's also like oh but it's going to be

so good I promise you know and so I

think this is a lot about being honest

with God because she's asking how to

deal with disappointment be honest with

God yes be honest with your father and

if you don't know your father if you

don't have a relationship we'll pray for

you at the end and you will I want to

say too this is a a so shared human

thing everyone everyone shares

disappointment yes it's you're not like

because anyone who hopes is disappointed

o that's good but what I think of I'm

thinking of the garden and this is the

first the first in like situation that

this happens is they fail and they

decide we're not going to tell God that

this happens we're not going to tell go

God about these bad feelings we have or

what we did and what it prevented was

Adam and Eve prevented themsel from

receiving the gift of the father's

perspective wow and Jesus came to

restore that he said he said the spirit

of the Lord's upon me and he quoted

Isaiah 61 and that's like what I keep

thinking about as you're talking because

the promise of Isaiah 61 is Beauty for

Ashes is joy for mourning is a double

portion of Honor instead of your

shame in order in order for you to

receive that you've got to bring what

you have yeah it doesn't just happen

it's a double portion of Honor instead

of your shame that means you've got to

bring your shame that is I think a lot

of times what happens with

disappointment is we're kind of like oh

no God is good like I don't have shame I

don't have ashes I'm good like but

there's no beauty without the ashes

right you have to you have to bring that

in order to receive the father's

perspective what's true because a lot of

times your ashes look like God's not

good yeah based on this situation I

believe God's not a good father and it's

not like he's offended by that we said

this in the beginning but he can handle

that and not just that he replaces the

lie with truth something that my like um

counselor our marriage counselor has

taught us is when when the LIE is

exposed unless you say the LIE is God's

not good yeah right he's so eager to

restore that with the truth so what you

do is you're like okay this is the lie

I'm believing Jesus what's your truth

yes and he immediately speaks and not

just you know with I don't know it's

like it's not just words it is his word

that he speaks but it's like it's living

and it's active it's Hebrews 4:12 his

word is alive it's active it's sharper

than a double-edged sword and um I think

that is what has got me through

disappointment is hearing his voice in

the moment of the disappointment and

like you said not pretending like it's

not there yes our pastor will say

something all the time as what are you

like pretending not to know when you

teach us about heart health and you're

just like you know what are you

pretending not to know and um I think in

the Christian World especially in the

Bible Bell in Dallas yeah it's like

God's good brother amen you know and

sometimes I'm like oh there's the timer

I don't I don't feel that way and it it

took me gosh like probably 20 21 years

of my life to get to a place where I

could sit alone in a room and like just

let it all out before God because I

thought I wasn't allowed to I don't even

know why it's a spirit it's a spirit of

religion that's trying to be good enough

for God yes and it's just like it puts

on a nice that man it doesn't work yeah

yeah I'll tell one story real quick we

get into handlebars I remember I was

dealing with a lot of disappointment uh

right after we got married not towards

Aaron he's amazing but I had

fantasized um My Wedding Marriage having

a baby like there was just all a big

fantasy to me I didn't know it was but I

had like idolized all of that so about 3

months after we got married all of the

wedding was over the um honeymoon

everything and I I just was depressed

honestly I was like this isn't what I

thought it would be I'm struggling I was

also going through so much in my heart

with the Lord getting free of so many

things so it was just a lot going on but

the core of it was disappointment and I

remember I called my spiritual mama and

I was like I'm just you know unloading

and she's like I'm going to work and

she's like call your boss tell her I'm

going to be just just a couple minutes

late check and see if that's okay so I

did and it was and I went into the

parking garage and she's like I want you

to tell the Lord everything you're

telling me but completely unfiltered and

I was like I don't even know how to do

that so I hung up the phone and I'm like

Hing myself I'm I'm like three two 1 you

got the serath you know cuz if you've

never talked to God that way alone

specifically it feels so awkward and

like it feels wrong it feels wrong like

I'm not supposed to do this I'm supposed

to be a good Christian which uh makes me

nauseous but I'm sitting there and I'm

like okay here we go and I start yelling

and I kid you not probably I don't know

a minute into what I'm telling the Lord

I'm yelling in another language and I

had already like received the gift of a

prayer language but this was another

language like I don't know what happened

but I got like another tongue to pray

the perfect will of God over my life um

and I still don't know what I said but I

got delivered and so I'm just saying not

that that will happen to you every

single time if you do that but what I'm

saying is God met me in my

disappointment he met me in the

unloading everything that I had never

told him that I believed about him and

he put his words inside of me to pray

for me which sounds crazy but it

happened and so that's right why do I

share that I share that because if you

have not had a moment like that with God

I dare you to do it see what happen

he's your father he loves you so much he

wants to answer you what is that your

hand that would be my handlebar yes is

just to get alone with

God

and if you've

never been super honest with him for me

it was like yelling cussing all the

things that I never thought I should do

and it was so freeing and anyway so get

along with the Lord and be real and then

listen to what he has to say about the

disappointment in your heart and watch

your heart be healed yes yeah what's

your handlebar that's so so good um I

just am thinking about what you're

saying about my life how I've related to

disappointment and how you're talking

about it's about truth and lies the

disappointment isn't why you thought God

isn't good it exposed that you already

had a belief that God wasn't good that

is so good and that's what's happened in

my life is these beliefs often times

come into our hearts when we're kids oh

yeah and then we learn we we learn a lot

of like religious rhetoric or things to

kind of like work around them bandaids

on it but God has his eyes set on those

things he has his eyes set on

eight-year-old Rafi on 10-year-old Sarah

beta was playing volleyball and he's

like I want that that one is mine and I

want to take that belief and give you a

new one and so I think my handlebar my

first handlebar would probably be what

you said is just honesty we we did an

episode on this

God desires our vulnerability more than

almost anything else Psalms 51 says that

the desire of his heart the sacrifice

that he desires is a broken heart and a

contrite spirit which to me tells me God

wants us to be honest with him he

doesn't want us to say the right things

but I would encourage

you who are watching this who are being

stirred by what sarth is saying to read

Psalm uh Isaiah 61 and read specifically

about the parts where God is exchanging

what we have for what he has because

disappointment can actually become a

meeting place where you receive a gift

from God that's so good what you thought

was actually what would destroy your

life or what is what was wrong with you

can become the place where you learn a

whole new thing about God and he changes

your life so that's my handle so good um

I want to pray for anyone who is

struggling with disappointment you feel

like your hearts become sick or you're

overwhelmed thinking man I can't heal my

heart because that's just the point you

can't but the Lord is going to and I

also want to pray for those who feel

like they've never encountered the

father yeah um because he

is the remedy he's way more than that

but that's all that's coming out of my

mouth right now so um he's the answer

he's everything for your sick heart so

Lord I just thank you for everyone

listening um to this right now watching

this right now and um for any one who

struggled with disappointment um I feel

like I just see a picture of of lots of

childhood memories coming up and so if

the holy spirit's doing that just allow

him to do that and go into that memory

even if it's painful because I Promise

You Jesus is waiting to show you where

he was in that painful memory and um

disappointment can become such a lie of

the enemy um it's not a lie that you are

disappointed but holding on to it can

invite so many lies and so I just thank

you Lord that anyone that's struggling

with with a a a sick Heart Lord that you

would just give them a picture or a

vision right now of the light at the end

of the tunnel that's what I feel the

Lord saying there's a light at the end

of the tunnel your heart won't always be

sick but I need you to come to me son I

need you to come to me daughter and so I

pray for anyone who hasn't had an

encounter with the father God I just

pray anyone who's listening to this in

their car that you would just begin to

fill them with your love God I just see

like a bucket of liquid love pouring out

and I thank you Lord that it would just

run through through our veins right now

I feel your presence right now father

and so I thank you that you can handle

anything that we have to bring to you

and you want our broken and contrite

Hearts you don't want sacrifices or

burnt offerings you want our hearts so

we love you Lord in Jesus name amen

amen forgot to end love you guys love

you guys thanks for watching thanks for

watching oh my

gosh hi I'm Maggie berlander I'm from

jackville Florida and I'm a listener of

The Handlebar podcast one thing I love

about the podcast is how real it feels

to me I feel like every time I listen it

speaks into a lot of topics that I don't

hear from a lot of other podcasts and so

every time I just am reminded how

authentic it feels to me um and so if

you love this podcast too you should

like And subscribe and send it to a

friend your family your crush all the

people that's

it not at all actually I want to you r

that part yeah because I think okay