The surprising secret to speaking with confidence | Caroline Goyder | TEDxBrixton

Summary

El orador explora cómo encontrar confianza interna para hablar en público, a través de la historia de su experiencia como coach de voz y la importancia de la práctica. Se centra en tres lecciones clave: el poder de la práctica, la importancia del diafragma para el control emocional y la conexión entre el aliento y los pensamientos. Con ejemplos inspiradores, enseña cómo el aliento puede transformar la voz y la confianza en situaciones clave.

Takeaways

• 😀 La confianza no reside en el exterior, sino en el interior, en las partes viscerales que no podemos ver.
• 🎤 El poder de la práctica es fundamental para mejorar la voz y la habilidad para hablar en público.
• 🎶 Cantar es una forma simple y efectiva de practicar y mejorar la voz.
• 🧘 La respiración es esencial para el control emocional y la proyección de confianza.
• 👤 La diaphragma es clave para regular el sistema y calmarse en situaciones estresantes.
• 🤔 La consciencia y el control de la diaphragma pueden transformar la manera en que nos presentamos y nos sentimos.
• 🌟 La postura y la tranquilidad en el cuerpo pueden proyectar poder y confianza, incluso cuando nos sentimos nerviosos.
• 💡 La inspiración y la respiración tienen la misma raíz en latín, lo que indica que los romanos entendían la importancia de la respiración en la expresión.
• 💭 La idea de 'respirar nuestros pensamientos' es crucial para controlar nuestra voz y comunicarnos con confianza.
• 🗣 Conocer cuándo callarse el momento adecuado puede ser la clave para hablar con confianza y proyección.

Q & A

¿Qué sentimiento describe el orador al entrar en la sala y ver a la audiencia?

El orador describe sentirse emocionado y ver a la audiencia como una gran energía positiva, lo que le hace sentir bien en la sala.

¿Cómo se siente el orador al principio de su presentación?

Inicialmente, el orador se siente incómodo y ansioso, pero luego se inspira en la energía de la audiencia y se relaja.

¿Qué le sucedió al orador cuando habló en Central Hall?

Cuando el orador habló en Central Hall, todo lo que pudo salir mal, salió mal: habló demasiado rápido, perdió las palabras y, para colmo, el micrófono se rompió.

¿Qué le enseñó la experiencia negativa en Central Hall al orador?

La experiencia negativa en Central Hall le enseñó al orador la importancia de conectar con su interior y encontrar la confianza desde adentro.

¿Qué es lo que el orador compara con un 'cajón de gavetas' para encontrar la confianza?

El orador compara la búsqueda de la confianza con un 'cajón de gavetas', donde cada gaveta contiene una lección importante para desarrollarla.

¿Cuál es la primera lección que el orador extrae del cajón de gavetas?

La primera lección es el poder de la práctica, donde el orador explica que la voz es un instrumento que se puede mejorar con el ejercicio.

¿Cómo sugiere el orador mejorar la voz a través de la práctica?

El orador sugiere cantar diariamente, ya sea en la ducha, en el coche o en el transporte público, como una forma de practicar y mejorar la voz.

¿Qué importancia tiene el diaphragma según el orador para la confianza?

El orador considera que el diaphragma es el rey de la confianza, ya que el control de la respiración profunda y lenta ayuda a calmarse y a sentirse más seguro en situaciones de presión.

¿Qué lección se encuentra en el último cajón del cajón de gavetas según el orador?

La lección final es que el aire y la respiración son fundamentales para la confianza, ya que al controlar la respiración, uno puede controlar sus pensamientos y, por ende, su voz y confianza.

¿Cómo se relaciona la historia de Demosthenes con la idea de mejorar la voz y la confianza?

La historia de Demosthenes ilustra la importancia de la práctica y el trabajo duro para mejorar la voz y la habilidad de oratoria, lo que eventualmente le llevó a ser reconocido como uno de los oradores más grandes de su tiempo.

¿Qué sugiere el orador que hagamos antes de hablar en público si queremos sentir confianza?

El orador sugiere respirar profundo y lentamente, utilizando el diaphragma para calmar el sistema y sentir confianza en momentos de presión.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ La importancia de la confianza y la voz

El orador comienza hablando sobre la energía positiva en la sala y cómo la confianza varía entre las personas. Algunas personas manejan bien el momento de enfrentar a un público, mientras que otras se sienten ansiosas o inseguras. El orador enfatiza que todos tenemos confianza dentro de nosotros y que, si sabemos dónde buscar, podemos encontrarla. Comparte su experiencia de fracaso en un evento y cómo decidió trabajar en su confianza interna en lugar de en su apariencia externa. Introduce la idea de explorar la confianza desde una perspectiva interna, sugiriendo que la confianza no se encuentra en el exterior, sino en lo visceral y en los aspectos internos que no podemos ver.

05:03

🎶 La voz como un instrumento y la práctica

El orador compara la voz humana con un instrumento musical y destaca la importancia de practicar para mejorar. Explica que no existe una voz mala, sino que con práctica se puede mejorar. Cuenta la historia de Demosthenes, un orador de la Antigua Grecia que mejoró su habilidad de hablar mediante la práctica intensiva. Sugiere que la práctica diaria, como cantar, puede ayudar a mejorar la voz y, por ende, la confianza. Abre la primera gaveta de su 'cómoda' para revelar la primera lección: la voz es un instrumento que se puede perfeccionar con el tiempo y la práctica.

10:03

🧘 La respiración y el poder de estar en calma

En este párrafo, el orador habla sobre la importancia de la respiración y cómo la persona más poderosa en una habitación generalmente tiene la respiración más relajada. Menciona a Paul Eckman, un científico conocido, y su investigación sobre la conexión entre la respiración y las emociones. Explica que el control de la respiración puede ayudar a calmarse y a entrar en contacto con el sistema inconsciente. El orador sugiere que la diaphragma es el centro de toda expresión y el rey de la confianza. Propone un ejercicio para sentir la diaphragma en acción y cómo la respiración profunda puede ayudar a sentirse más seguro en situaciones de estrés.

15:07

💭 El aliento y la conexión con nuestros pensamientos

El orador concluye con la tercera y más importante lección: el papel del aliento en nuestras palabras y pensamientos. Describe cómo el aire que respiramos es fundamental para nuestras expresiones orales y cómo la calidad de nuestro aliento puede afectar nuestra confianza. Cuenta la historia de una mujer que tuvo que hablar en un funeral y cómo las técnicas de respiración que aprendió le ayudaron en ese momento difícil. El orador enfatiza que el control de la respiración y la conexión con nuestros pensamientos son esenciales para hablar con confianza y autenticidad.

Keywords

💡Confianza

La confianza es un estado mental de seguridad, sin duda, y es fundamental en la comunicación y la expresión personal. En el video, la oradora explora cómo encontrar y aumentar la confianza interna, utilizando ejemplos de su propia experiencia y la de otros, como la historia de Demosthenes, para demostrar que la confianza puede ser desarrollada y no es un atributo fijo.

💡Voz

La voz se refiere al instrumento que utilizamos para hablar y expresarnos. En el video, se enfatiza que la voz es un instrumento que puede ser perfeccionado con la práctica, comparándola con un saxofón y utilizando la historia de Demosthenes para ilustrar cómo la práctica puede transformar una voz no segura en una poderosa herramienta de oratoria.

💡Práctica

La práctica es el proceso de repetir una actividad con el objetivo de mejorar en ella. El video subraya la importancia de la práctica para desarrollar la confianza y mejorar la voz, sugiriendo actividades como cantar para ejercitar y mejorar el control de la voz y la respiración.

💡Diatro

El diafragma es un músculo que juega un papel crucial en la respiración y, por ende, en la expresión y la confianza. En el video, se explica cómo el control del diafragma y la respiración profunda pueden ayudar a calmar el sistema nervioso y proyectar una presencia más segura y poderosa.

💡Respiración

La respiración es el proceso por el cual inhalamos y exhalamamos el aire. El video destaca la conexión entre la respiración y la confianza, enseñando técnicas de respiración abdominal para controlar el estrés y mejorar la voz y la presentación en público.

💡Energía

La energía se refiere a la vibración y el entusiasmo que se pueden percibir en una persona. En el video, la oradora menciona la 'great energy' en la sala como un indicador de la atmósfera positiva y cómo la energía positiva puede ser contagiosa y fomentar la confianza.

💡Poder

El poder, en el contexto del video, se refiere a la capacidad de una persona para influir y dominar situaciones, particularmente en términos de comunicación y liderazgo. Se discute cómo la confianza interna y la maestría en la respiración y la voz pueden aumentar el poder de una persona en un espacio social.

💡Pensamiento

El pensamiento es el proceso mental de reflexionar, razonar y formar ideas. En el video, se sugiere que los pensamientos influyen directamente en la respiración y, por lo tanto, en la voz y la comunicación. La oradora enseña cómo controlar los pensamientos puede ayudar a controlar la voz y proyectar confianza.

💡Emociones

Las emociones son los sentimientos y reacciones internas que pueden afectar nuestro comportamiento y comunicación. El video discute cómo las emociones, especialmente el miedo y la ansiedad, pueden impactar la confianza y la capacidad de hablar en público, y ofrece estrategias para manejarlas a través de la respiración y la práctica.

💡Acciones

Las acciones son los movimientos físicos que realizamos. En el video, se menciona cómo las acciones, como la postura y el movimiento, pueden reflejar la confianza o la falta de ella. Se enfatiza la importancia de la postura relajada y la stillness como manifestaciones de poder y control interior.

Highlights

El momento en el que nuestros mundos se encuentran es crucial para la comunicación.

Algunas personas manejan este momento con confianza, mientras que otras se sienten inseguras.

Todas tenemos confianza dentro de nosotros; es solo cuestión de encontrarla.

La confianza no existe en el exterior, sino en el interior, en lo visceral.

La voz es un instrumento increíble y magnífico que se puede mejorar con práctica.

La historia de Demosthenes, el orador de la Antigua Grecia, demuestra el poder de la práctica.

La respiración es fundamental para el control y la calma en situaciones de presión.

El diafragma es clave para regular nuestro sistema y calmarnos en momentos de ansiedad.

La postura relajada y la respiración profunda son signos de la persona más poderosa en la sala.

La inspiración y la respiración tienen el mismo origen en latín, lo que indica que respiramos nuestros pensamientos.

El aire y la respiración son esenciales para la confianza y la expresión en la comunicación.

Controlar la voz a través de la idea de que 'el pensamiento es respiración' puede transformar nuestra comunicación.

En momentos cruciales de la vida, como un funeral o una boda, estas habilidades de respiración y confianza son aún más importantes.

Aprender a respirar bien es el regalo más grande que podemos dar en situaciones donde debemos hablar por otros.

El secreto para tener confianza en el habla es saber cuándo callarse.

Transcripts

Translator: Angelica Teal Reviewer: Denise RQ

It is this moment, isn't it?

I'm looking at you, and you look like a really nice bunch.

There's been such great energy.

I was sitting here for five minutes, and it just feels great in this room.

You look really friendly enough, so thank you!

You are looking a bit unsure in a voice coach.

Don't worry, it's going to be fine.

And I can see a couple of really brainy TED faces there.

There's going to be a few ideas, too.

But it's this moment, when eyes, our worlds, are colliding right now.

You are looking at me, I am looking at you,

and it hits my brain with the feeling of adrenaline;

accelerating molecules, you might say.

Different people deal with this moment differently.

Some of us go, "Hey!", you know?

There are people who are confident,

they cope with this moment totally fine.

Then there are other people not so confident,

and it stops them from speaking this moment;

It makes them feel anxious, that maybe they are not up to it.

That is not the case.

Actually, all of us have confidence within.

What I want to talk about today

is the idea that we can find more confidence within us

if we know where to look.

Where do we look?

We go within. We look under the bonnet.

That's where we are going next.

And the reason I want to talk about this is because, many years ago,

I stood in front of an audience this big - bigger - at Central Hall,

which is by the Houses of Parliament, a really big Methodist space.

I was super excited about that moment

because I knew that it was my big moment as a rookie voice coach,

and I was going to be able to speak.

I stepped up in front of that audience,

and what happened was everything that could possibly go wrong did.

I went too fast, I lost my words.

It felt like such a horrible experience.

And just as I thought it couldn't go any worse,

the microphone broke.

I looked out across the room, and I said in my big voice coach voice,

- there wasn't so much wind at the time, I have to say -

(Laughter)

I said in my big voice coach voice, "Can you hear me at the back?"

And someone said, "Speak up!"

I felt this feeling of absolute shame.

That feeling of an audience looking at you,

and a feeling of judgment which cripples us.

I left that venue, and I thought to myself, "Never again."

Clearly that didn't work because I am here.

I also thought I am going to do it differently next time.

I will make sure that next time I stand up to speak, it feels good.

Where I had to go was within.

We live in a really visual culture.

We spend a lot of time - if you think about two worlds -

we spend a lot of time thinking about the outside.

Maybe especially for women.

Actually, confidence doesn't exist on the outside;

It exists within, in the visceral stuff,

in the bits within you that we don't see.

We are going to go to those bits.

When I was thinking about this idea three months ago,

when I was asked to do it,

I started to feel nervous about this moment,

I started to think about a quote

the director Peter Brook had said

which is that we open new drawers in the self.

I started to think about a chest of drawers.

Then I came across this really cool maker

called George McCallum, who is actually sitting there.

I said to George, "Can you make me a chest of drawers?

And he did.

You might be wondering what this object is.

And what this object is here is what George made.

But when you ask a maker to make a chest of drawers,

they don't always do what you think they are going to do.

Do you want to see what he did?

(Laughter)

Yeah! Thanks George. Best response of the morning.

Upstaged by the furniture.

(Laughter)

Within this little chest of drawers,

this rather big, manly chest of drawers,

are three secrets to finding confidence within.

Three lessons I had to learn on the way.

There is a big lesson in here.

The last lesson is the big one.

We are going to get there, and it's not what you might think.

It's a lesson that might surprise you.

But first, would you like to see inside the first drawer?

(Audience) Yes!

CG: It's a bit delicate this; George.

So what we have in here is an instrument.

Because you just been hearing the voice is the most amazing instrument.

It's magnificent.

How often do you think about how yours works?

Because like this little guitar, it has a string, and it has a hitter.

Where is the string of your voice?

Can you put a hand on it?

Here, give it a shake; it's your larynx.

Ahhhhh... Can everyone do that for meeee?

Ahhhhh!

The hitter is the air.

When you know that your voice is an instrument,

what does that tell you?

People come to me and say,

"I've a bad voice," "I am not a good speaker."

"I get worried about this kind of moment."

"I hate meetings," "I hate presentations," "Can't do it."

The voice is an instrument.

There is not such thing as a bad saxophone, is there?

Because when we hear a great saxophonist,

and he is probably somewhere down here,

what we know is that they've practiced a lot,

that not only did they have talent but also they have worked,

and worked, and worked to get a great sound.

If you ever doubt the sound of your voice,

let me tell you all you have to do is practice.

When I was worrying about that moment

I am going to call my central hall of shame, because it was,

what I remembered was the story of a guy in Ancient Greece

called Demosthenes.

There's a big old name,

so we're going to call him the Greek dude from now on,

which actually is also a bit of a big word,

so we might just call him Dave, I think.

(Laughter)

Dave was speaking at the Assembly which is like the O2.

We have Simon in the room.

It's like the Brixton Academy of the Ancient Greek world.

He was feeling pretty nervous. He wanted to be an orator.

Orators were the rock stars of their day.

So he geared himself up for this big moment at the Assembly,

and you know what?

He bombed.

They said he was uncouth in his speaking, and that he stammered.

So the audience jeered at him, and they threw stuff.

Please don't do that today!

(Laughter)

He left that stage feeling so downcast

when he got a bit of advice from an actor.

I'm sure Greek actors were pretty much the same as they are now.

I am sure the actor was a bit like this, but what he said to him was,

"You need more expression in your voice.

You are not giving enough welly, enough energy.

You also need to believe in yourself because the message is good."

Demosthenes takes himself back home, and he goes for it.

This is his rocky moment.

He builds himself an underground cellar.

He shaves his head - half of his head -

so that he can't leave the house for three months

and then he practices for three months solid

in front of a big shield that is polished like a mirror.

When he is ready, when he is up there,

he goes out.

He goes to the sea, and he speaks over the waves.

His voice has to boom out over the waves.

Then, he goes back. He goes back to the Assembly.

He speaks again,

and he becomes known as one of the greatest orators of his day.

What does that tell you?

It tells you about practice.

The power of practice.

You may not want to shave half of your head;

you may not want to build an underground cellar

because the council may have words,

but what you can do is practice.

And the simplest way to practice is to sing.

You don't have to do a big, "Mamamamahh!",

a voice coach warm-up - unless you want to -

but what I really recommend is that everyday sing somewhere:

sing in the shower, sing in the car, sing on the tube if you feel brave.

(Laughter)

I was at St Thomas' Hospital for a blood test about two weeks ago,

and there were two women singing in the space

where the blood test was happening which was lovely.

So I recommend it.

Singing is the way to a great voice.

Practice is the way to a great instrument.

That's lesson one.

We have another drawer which we will open in a moment,

but before we get there, I've a question.

Say you walk into a room, OK?

You don't know anybody.

Some of you may have had that feeling this morning.

How do you know who the most powerful person in the room is?

The person with the most confidence,

that inner confidence that we are going for here?

How could you tell?

How they carry themselves. That's lovely, [Lola].

You are in the same space, aren't you?

Because you are a singer.

It is that how they carry themselves.

Actually, what an actor will tell you is that is about the breath.

The most powerful person in the room has the most relaxed breathing pattern.

There is a well-known scientist called Paul Eckman who looks into emotion,

and he said - which would make actors laugh

because it seems so straightforward to them

that maybe isn't to science -

that he couldn't understand why breath mattered for a long time,

and his research has explored it,

until he started to understand that the unconscious system--

You know I can't control my spleen.

It is just doing its own thing.

But I can control my breathing.

And if I get into my breathing, I get into the unconscious.

I calm myself down.

So what's within you is the key to this relaxed, confident power.

Actors know this

because when actors are playing King, the King stays really still.

Everybody moves around the king,

and that's how you know the king is in charge.

The next time you fell nervous about something, try that; try getting still.

Within your body is something that is really the king of the body.

It's what the Greeks called the center of all expression.

I bet that 50% of this room has never thought about it.

Would you like to see what it is?

Thank you, my still handsome friend.

We've our lungs, don't we?

We have this, which is probably not an anatomical representation of a heart,

but it is nice.

(Laughter)

But what's down here? What's this?

(Audience) The diaphragm?

CG: Thank you very much! Diaphragm. It is indeed your diaphragm.

Put your hands up if you have thought about the diaphragm recently.

Put your hands up if you thought about your diaphragm today.

Thank you, singers in the room; good. Or actors, or saxophonists.

Put your hands up if you haven't yet thought about your diaphragm today.

Yeah, that is quite a large percentage.

So we don't think about our diaphragms, do we?

But the diaphragm is the key to regulating your system.

It is how you calm yourself down

in that moment when you stand in front of all the eyes.

It will make you feel confident

when you most need it, and you'd least feel like it.

I didn't know anything about my diaphragm.

I'd learned about it. I knew what it was supposed to look like,

but I didn't know how it felt.

Then one day,

I was feeling really stressed, I was breathing up in my chest.

I had that kind of squeaky high-voiced adrenaline breathing up in the chest;

Not good.

I walked into a yoga class, and the yoga teacher said,

"You look really stressed."

Which is never a good start.

He said, "Lie down on the floor."

And he laid me down, I closed my eyes,

expecting some lovely relaxing yoga thing,

and suddenly, he put a gym weight on my stomach.

And he said, "Breathe, lift that."

I did. I breathed in,

and as I breathed in,

I had to lift that gym weight with my stomach,

and my diaphragm shuddered into action.

Suddenly, I got it. I got how it should feel.

I got that I didn't need to breathe up here anymore;

that I could breathe down.

I'd like to suggest that the diaphragm is the king of confidence.

Should we find yours?

We take a thumb--

Take your thumb and just put it bellow your bra strap.

Yeah, that's right, sir. You got it.

(Laughter)

That's it. With your thumb there, gently push.

Lawrence Olivier, when he was taught to breathe--

Lawrence Olivier - you know, the actor?

was taught to breathe by pushing a grand piano.

I certainly don't have a grand piano at home.

London houses don't fit them these days, do they?

But we can all practice the feeling of pushing a grand piano

if we breathe in and push your thumb away.

Now breathe out and push back.

You are filling up an air balloon in your stomach.

Now, breathe in, push your thumb away.

Now breathe out, push it back.

Welcome to your diaphragm.

If you put your hand on your ribs,

your diaphragm goes all the way around.

You can also fill the rib cages as you breathe in.

You feel the ribs open as you breathe,

and close as you breathe out.

If you are ever nervous about one of these moments, do that.

Your diaphragm is the key to your confidence.

So we've two lessons:

we've the power of practice. we've the importance of the diaphragm.

There's a third lesson which is the big one.

It's the one that really makes a difference.

I started to think about this lesson a couple of weeks ago actually,

because someone I'd worked with wrote to me.

She wrote me an email, and she said

she'd been through the worst possible thing

that you could imagine happening to someone.

She had just got married, and was on honeymoon,

when her husband had a heart attack and died.

She had to go back to the church they got married in

and speak a eulogy for this man.

In fact, she also read a poem that she had written when they first met.

She said, "On the worst day of my life, I had to put myself together.

I had to find the energy of celebration for this man who I really loved,

and the only way to do it was you taught me.

The skills of breathing low and slow; taking my time,

getting the control, finding the inner confidence.

It was the greatest gift that I could give him."

There are moments in our lives where we have to speak

not because we have something to say for us

but because we want to speak for someone else:

a wedding, a eulogy.

I would suggest that in those moments, these skills matter more than ever.

What you need to know in those moments is in this drawer.

It's breath.

It's air.

Why does air matter?

It's because we breathe our thoughts.

All speech is our breath. All song is our breath.

And all in breath is thought.

Just put a hand back on that diaphragm for a moment, and breathe out.

Then feel the breath in,

and as you breathe in, think of someone you really love.

If we were all to speak on that out breath,

it would be full of love.

Now breathe in again,

and breathe in a feeling of excitement for the day that is going to come

because it's going to be so good.

If we were to breathe in and then speak on that feeling,

then we have excitement in our voices.

So you can control your voice

with the idea of breath is thought.

And it's in Latin, the two worlds: ancient and modern.

The Romans understood this:

inspiration and respiration have the same root.

The Romans understood that we breathe our thoughts.

Because we speak on the out-breath,

all you have to think about is the in-breath.

You know, the simplest way to think about the in-breath:

close your mouth.

So who would have thought that the big secret I promised you

was that if you want confidence in speech,

all you have to do is to know when to shut your mouth.

(Laughter)

Thank you.

(Applause)