I Don’t Like My Spouse | MarriageToday | Jimmy & Karen Evans

Summary

The 'Marriage Day' podcast, hosted by Jimmy Evans and his wife Karen, addresses the common dilemma of loving but not liking one's spouse. They emphasize that emotions are transient and should not dictate the behavior in a marriage. The couple discusses the importance of agape love, a Christlike love that is unconditional and not dependent on feelings. They suggest seeking counseling and resolving conflicts to maintain a healthy relationship. The podcast also promotes resources like Karen's daily devotional book 'I Will' and counseling services at exomarriage.com to support couples in nurturing their marriages.

Takeaways

• 💔 Love and Like are Distinct: The speaker emphasizes that love for a spouse is not always accompanied by liking them, and this distinction is a common reality in marriages.
• 🌐 Welcome to the Real World: It's normal to sometimes not like your spouse, and this does not negate the commitment and love in a marriage.
• 🤔 Emotional Control: The ability to love should not be controlled by emotions; otherwise, it's not Christlike love.
• 🗣️ Communication is Key: If you don't like your spouse's behavior, it's important to communicate and possibly seek counseling to resolve issues.
• 🙅‍♀️ Don't Be a Prisoner to Emotions: Letting emotions dictate your relationship can lead to a painful life and should be avoided.
• 😃 Actions Over Feelings: Smiling and positive actions can influence your feelings and contribute to a healthier life.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Discipline Over Desires: Engaging in healthy behaviors like exercise and proper diet, regardless of how you feel, leads to better emotional states.
• 👫 Commitment Over Mood: The commitment to a spouse should remain strong, even when emotions fluctuate.
• 🔍 Reflect on Your Feelings: Understanding the source of negative feelings towards your spouse can help in addressing them constructively.
• 📖 The Power of Agape Love: The script discusses the concept of agape love, which is a selfless love that is not based on emotions or personal feelings.
• 🎁 Long-term Commitment: The vows taken during marriage imply a lifelong commitment, which includes enduring various life challenges together.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of the 'Marriage Day Podcast'?

The 'Marriage Day Podcast' exists to help individuals thrive in their marriage and to assist in solving problems and challenges they may be facing in their marital life.

What is the question posed by a listener that the podcast is addressing in this episode?

The listener's question is about what to do when you love your spouse but don't like them, indicating a commitment to the marriage but a struggle with personal feelings towards the spouse.

According to Jimmy, what is the first thing that comes to his mind when he hears the listener's question?

Jimmy's initial thought is 'Welcome to the Real World,' implying that it's normal to sometimes not like your spouse, and that this doesn't negate the commitment and love in a marriage.

What does Jimmy suggest is the problem if one's ability to love is controlled by emotions?

Jimmy suggests that if your ability to love is controlled by emotions, it's part of the problem because it means you're not able to love people in a Christlike manner, which is not dependent on emotions.

What does Karen believe could be the underlying issue if someone claims to love but not like their spouse?

Karen suggests that there might be unresolved past hurts or judgments that have built up in the relationship, causing a disconnect between love and liking.

What is Karen's prayer for the year, and how does it relate to the discussion on liking your spouse?

Karen's prayer is to not be affected by what others do, which relates to the discussion as it suggests maintaining one's behavior and actions towards a spouse regardless of how they feel influenced by the spouse's behavior.

What does Jimmy argue about the relationship between love and like in a marriage?

Jimmy argues that love and like should not be separated in a marriage. He believes that true love should be expressed regardless of whether you like your spouse's behavior at a given moment.

What is the role of actions and feelings in maintaining a healthy life according to the transcript?

Actions are described as the engine and feelings as the caboose in a healthy life. This means that one should act in ways that promote well-being regardless of how they feel, as emotions can often lead to wrong decisions.

What does Jimmy suggest is the difference between loving and liking someone?

Jimmy suggests that loving someone, especially in the context of agape love, is a commitment and action that is not dependent on emotions or whether you like the person at the moment.

What are the five basic Greek words for love mentioned in the podcast, and how do they differ from agape love?

The five Greek words for love mentioned are eros (sexual love), fileo (friendship), philadelphia (brotherly love), storg (family love), and epoa (passion). All these words are emotion-based, unlike agape, which is not dependent on emotions and represents a selfless, sacrificial love.

What advice does the podcast offer for dealing with the situation where you love your spouse but don't like them?

The advice given is to work through the issue, possibly with counseling, and to maintain a commitment to the marriage. It's important not to let emotions dictate the actions towards the spouse and to express love regardless of the feelings at the moment.

What resources does the podcast recommend for couples who need help with their marriage?

The podcast recommends 'I Will', Karen's new 365-day daily devotional for couples, and xom marriage.com, which offers counseling services including mediation with trained counselors.