Wentworth Millerʼs complete speech - His coming out (sub eng)
Summary
TLDRIn this heartfelt speech, the speaker reflects on their journey from a life of survival and isolation to embracing the power of community. Initially hesitant to accept the concept of 'community' due to their mixed-race background and being gay, they recount their struggles with identity and the fear of coming out publicly. The speaker's life took a turn when joining a men's group, which introduced them to the idea of brotherhood and community. Through this, they became an advocate for the Human Rights Campaign and used their platform to support LGBT rights, particularly in Russia. The speech emphasizes the importance of community and the message of hope and support for those who feel alone, encouraging the audience to continue spreading this message globally.
Takeaways
- 🙌 The speaker expresses gratitude to the Human Rights Campaign for their significant global impact on human rights.
- 🏳️🌈 The speaker acknowledges their complicated relationship with the concept of 'community' and their journey towards embracing it.
- 🌈 The speaker identifies as a mixed-race, gay individual who has faced challenges in feeling a part of a larger community.
- 🌍 The speaker discusses their international career and the opportunities they had to publicly come out as gay but chose not to, prioritizing career over personal truth.
- 😔 The speaker shares their internal struggle with fear, anger, and resistance when considering the impact of coming out on their career.
- 💔 The speaker reflects on their childhood and the feeling of being alone, different, and the first attempt at suicide at the age of 15.
- 🔑 The speaker talks about the importance of the word 'us' and 'we' and the realization that they were not alone in their struggles.
- 🤝 In 2012, the speaker joined a men's group, the Mankind Project, which introduced them to the concepts of brotherhood, sisterhood, and community.
- 📝 The speaker shares their decision to decline an invitation to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival and the importance of using their voice to support the LGBT community.
- 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of sending a message of support and love to those who feel alone, targeted, or different, highlighting the power of community.
Q & A
What is the speaker's relationship with the word 'community'?
-The speaker has had a complicated relationship with the word 'community', being slow to embrace it and hesitant due to their mixed-race background, being gay, and not being born in the country where they grew up.
Why did the speaker initially struggle to see themselves as part of a larger community?
-The speaker struggled because they grew up in survival mode, focusing on getting through each day without considering concepts like community or belonging.
What was the speaker's experience like growing up?
-The speaker grew up feeling different and alone, being a target for various reasons such as the way they spoke, stood, or held their wrist, which led to emotional, psychological, and physical consequences.
At what age did the speaker first attempt suicide?
-The speaker first attempted suicide at the age of 15.
What was the speaker's professional status at the age of 33?
-At 33, the speaker was working on a successful TV show that was popular not only in the United States but also abroad.
Why did the speaker choose not to publicly come out as gay during their professional career?
-The speaker chose not to publicly come out due to fear of how it might impact their career and personal life, as well as a stubborn resistance built up over the years.
What changed for the speaker in 2011 that led them to reconsider their beliefs and priorities?
-In 2011, the speaker decided to walk away from acting and many of the things they previously believed were important, which led to a reevaluation of their values and priorities.
What organization did the speaker join in 2012 that introduced them to new concepts of community and brotherhood?
-The speaker joined a men's group called the Mankind Project in 2012.
How did the speaker's involvement with the Mankind Project lead to their support for the Human Rights Campaign?
-The speaker's involvement with the Mankind Project introduced them to the concepts of community and brotherhood, which in turn led them to become a member and proud supporter of the Human Rights Campaign.
What action did the speaker take in response to an invitation from the St. Petersburg International Film Festival?
-The speaker drafted a letter declining the invitation from the St. Petersburg International Film Festival, choosing to speak their truth and integrate their story into a larger narrative.
What message does the speaker hope to send to others who might be feeling alone or targeted?
-The speaker hopes to send a message of support and love, letting others know that there is an 'us' and 'we', and that they are not alone.
Outlines
🙏 Embracing Community and Identity
The speaker expresses gratitude to the Human Rights Campaign for their significant work in promoting equality and acknowledges the honor of being part of the community. They reflect on their complicated relationship with the concept of 'community' due to their mixed-race background, being gay, and not being born in the country. The speaker discusses their struggle with identity and the feeling of being an outsider, which persisted into adulthood. Despite achieving success in their career, they chose to remain in the closet publicly due to fear and the belief that they had built their career alone. This decision was influenced by a fear of the potential impact on their career and a stubborn resistance rooted in years of feeling different and alone.
🌟 Overcoming Personal Struggles and Advocacy
The speaker recounts their difficult childhood, marked by feelings of being a target and the constant pressure to conform to societal norms. These experiences led to a suicide attempt at the age of 15, driven by a deep sense of loneliness and a lack of belief in help or rescue. Fast forward to 2011, the speaker decided to leave acting, which led to a period of introspection and a search for meaning. In 2012, they joined the Mankind Project, which introduced them to the concepts of brotherhood, sisterhood, and community. This experience was transformative, leading them to become a proud supporter of the Human Rights Campaign and to learn about the plight of LGBT individuals in Russia. The speaker shares their decision to decline an invitation to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival as a form of protest, highlighting the importance of standing up for one's truth and integrating personal stories into larger narratives to effect change and provide hope to others who may feel alone.
🌍 Spreading the Message of Unity and Support
In the final paragraph, the speaker emphasizes the importance of repeatedly sending a message of unity, support, and love to ensure it reaches everyone, not just in Washington State or across the country, but around the world. They express gratitude for the opportunity to share their story and to continue advocating for equality and acceptance. The speaker's journey from feeling isolated and alone to becoming an advocate for change and a part of a supportive community serves as a powerful testament to the transformative power of connection and the importance of standing together against injustice.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Human Rights Campaign
💡Community
💡Survival Mode
💡Mixed-Race Background
💡Gay
💡Fear
💡Integrity
💡Mankind Project
💡LGBT Persecution
💡Role Model
💡Isolation
Highlights
Personal thanks to the Human Rights Campaign for their critical, life-changing work worldwide.
Acknowledgment of being a member of the community and the privilege to be present.
A complicated relationship with the concept of 'community' and a hesitancy to embrace it.
A mixed-race background, being gay, and the challenges of seeing oneself as part of a larger whole.
Growing up in 'survival mode' with a focus on getting through each day.
The struggle with the words 'us' and 'we' and the feeling of being singular and different.
A successful TV show career that led to international travel and interviews.
Choosing to remain private about being gay in public despite opportunities to speak out.
The fear and anger that came with the thought of coming out and its potential impact on the career.
The realization of the importance of being a role model and the impact it could have on others.
A history of feeling like a target and the price paid for not meeting societal standards.
A suicide attempt at the age of 15 due to feelings of loneliness and a lack of support.
The decision to leave acting and reevaluate personal beliefs and values.
Joining the Mankind Project and the introduction to the concepts of 'us' and 'we'.
Becoming a supporter of the Human Rights Campaign and learning about LGBT persecution in Russia.
Drafting a letter to decline an invitation to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival as a stand for truth.
The importance of sending a message of support and community to those who feel alone.
Gratitude to the Human Rights Campaign for providing a platform to share personal stories and messages.
Transcripts
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you first and foremost I want to
personally thank the Human Rights
Campaign for the incredible work that
they've done in the work they continue
to do not only here in Washington State
but across the country and around the
world as we all know this work is
critical it's life-changing it's
life-saving it is my great honor and
privilege to be here tonight to count
myself a member of this community
[Music]
[Applause]
it is also something of a surprise I've
had a complicated relationship with that
word community
I've been slow to embrace it I've been
I've been hesitant
I've been doubtful for many years I
could not or would not accept that there
was anything in that word for someone
like me like connection and support
strength warmth and there are reasons
for that
I wasn't born in this country I didn't
grow up in any one particular religion I
have a mixed-race background and I'm gay
[Applause]
really
it's just your typical all-american boy
next door
it has been natural to see myself as an
individual it's been a challenge to
imagine that self as part of something
larger like many of you here tonight
I grew up in what I would call survival
when you're in survival mode your focus
is on getting through the day in one
piece and when you're in that mode at
five at ten at 15
there isn't a lot of space for words
like community
[Music]
for words like us
[Music]
there's only space for eye
[Music]
in fact words like us and we not only
sounded foreign to me at 5 and 10 and 15
they sounded like a lie because if us
and we really existed if there was
really someone out there watching and
listening and caring and I would have
been rescued
[Music]
that feeling of being singular and
different alone carried over into my 20s
that's my thirties when I was 33 I
started working on a TV show that was
successful not only here in the states
but also abroad which meant over the
next four years I was traveling to Asia
to the Middle East to Europe and
everywhere in between and in that time I
gave thousands of interviews
[Music]
I had multiple opportunities to speak my
truth which is that I was gay
but I chose not to
I was out privately to family and
friends to the people I'd learned to
trust over time but professionally
publicly I was not
[Music]
asked to choose between being out of
integrity and out of the closet I chose
the former I chose to lie I chose to
dissemble
because when I thought about the
possibility of coming out about how that
might impact me and the career I'd
worked so hard for I was filled with
fear fear and anger and a stubborn
resistance that had built up over many
years when I thought about that kid
somewhere out there who might be
inspired or moved by me taking a stand
and speaking my truth my mental response
was consistently no thank you
I thought I've spent over a decade
building this career alone
by myself
and from a certain point of view
it's all I have
but now I'm supposed to put that at risk
to be a role model to someone I've never
met who I'm not even sure exists I
didn't make any sense to me
that did not resonate
at the time
also like many of you here tonight
growing up I was a target speaking the
right way standing the right way holding
your wrist the right way every day was a
test and there were a thousand ways to
fail a thousand ways to betray yourself
to not live up to someone else's
standard of what was acceptable of what
was normal
and when you failed the test which was
guaranteed there was a price to pay
emotional
psychological
physical
and like many of you I paid that price
more than once in a variety of ways
[Music]
the first time I tried to kill myself I
was 15
I waited until my family went away for
the weekend and I was alone in the house
and I swallowed a bottle of pills
[Music]
I don't remember what happened over the
next couple of days but I'm pretty sure
come Monday morning I was on the bus
back to school
pretending everything's fine
[Music]
and when someone asked me if that was a
cry for help I say no because I told no
one
you only cry for help if you believe
there's help to cry
[Music]
and I didn't
I wanted out I wanted gone at 15
I and me can be a lonely place
and it will only get you so far
[Music]
but 2011 I've made the decision to walk
away from acting and many of the things
I previously believed is so important to
me and after I'd given up the scripts
and the sets which I dreamed of as a
child and the resulting attention and
scrutiny which I had not dreamed of as a
child the only thing I was left with was
what I had when I started I mean and it
was not enough
in 2012 I joined a men's group called
the mankind project which is a men's
group for all men and was introduced to
the still foreign and still potentially
threatening concepts of us and we to the
idea of Brotherhood sisterhood and
community and it was via that community
that I became a member and proud
supporter of the Human Rights Campaign
and it was via this community that I
learned more about the persecution of my
LGBT brothers and sisters in Russia
several weeks ago
when I was drafting my letter to the st.
Petersburg International Film Festival
declining their invitation to attend a
small nagging voice in my head insisted
that no one would notice that no one was
watching or listening or caring but this
time finally I knew that voice was wrong
I thought if even one person notices
this letter in which I speak my truth
and integrate my small story into a much
larger and more important one is worth
sending I thought let me be to someone
else what no one was to me let me send a
message to that kid maybe in America
maybe someplace far overseas maybe
somewhere deep inside a kid who's being
targeted at home or at school or in the
streets that someone is watching and
listening and caring that there is an us
that there is a we and that kid or
teenager or adult is loved and they are
not alone
I am deeply grateful to the Human Rights
Campaign for giving me and others like
me the opportunity and the platform and
the imperative to tell my story to
continue sending that message because it
needs to be sent over and over again
until it's been heard and received and
embraced not just here in Washington
State not just across the country but
around the world and then back again
just in case just in case we miss
someone thank you
[Applause]
you
[Applause]
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