I’m 23. If your 18, 19, 20 or 21 years old, please watch this…

Summary

In this inspiring narrative, the speaker reflects on their personal journey from struggling with self-destructive behaviors during sixth form, to failing A-levels, and feeling lost after university. They recount their initial foray into the art world, followed by a transformative period of self-discovery and growth through writing and spiritual mentorship. The speaker emphasizes the importance of investing in oneself, embracing fear, and prioritizing personal well-being to cultivate a fulfilling life. They conclude by expressing gratitude for the changes that have led to newfound happiness and purpose.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker's journey began with a realization of their own path, inspired by an authentic YouTuber.
• 🏫 A shift from a nurturing secondary school to a sixth form with a different social dynamic led to self-destructive behaviors.
• 📚 The choice of difficult A-level subjects and dropping out of hobbies for harmful activities resulted in academic failure.
• 💔 A period of apathy and a destructive path was initiated, questioning the purpose of life.
• 🎓 Despite poor A-level results, the speaker's mother encouraged university education, leading to a study in fashion.
• 👗 The study of fashion did not inspire the speaker and left them feeling directionless post-graduation.
• 🔍 A disheartening job search led to a realization of needing to find personal direction and purpose.
• 📚 Reading 'The Artist's Way' and daily writing exercises helped process emotions and improve mental state.
• 🌱 Investing in personal growth through mentoring led to significant life changes and a shift in energy.
• 📈 Learning to embrace fear and say 'no' to temporary pleasures in favor of long-term fulfillment.
• 🙏 Prioritizing self and personal growth over external influences has led to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial experience at sixth form?

The speaker initially found sixth form challenging and different from their secondary school experience. They fell into friendships that led them towards self-destructive behaviors and neglected their studies.

Why did the speaker switch from history to sociology?

The speaker switched from history to sociology after a week because they found the topics being discussed in history class boring.

How did the speaker's attitude towards education change during sixth form?

The speaker's attitude towards education changed significantly during sixth form, as they began to prioritize socializing and engaging in self-destructive behaviors over studying.

What was the turning point that led the speaker to fail their A-levels?

The turning point that led the speaker to fail their A-levels was their decision to prioritize going out and smoking over studying, which resulted in them not revising for their biology exam.

Why did the speaker choose to study fashion at university?

The speaker chose to study fashion at university because they loved the creativity behind it and were inspired by fashion.

How did the speaker feel about fashion after completing their studies?

After completing their studies in fashion, the speaker felt uninspired and did not want to work in the fashion industry.

What was the most disheartening experience the speaker faced after university?

The most disheartening experience the speaker faced after university was the job search process, which left them feeling lost and hopeless.

What led the speaker to start working at an art gallery?

The speaker started working at an art gallery after losing hope in their life and considering a career in art, which they thought was more intellectual and cultural.

How did the speaker's life change after investing in a mentoring process?

After investing in a mentoring process, the speaker's life changed dramatically. They let go of drinking, started posting YouTube videos, and began to prioritize their own well-being and happiness.

What daily practice did the speaker adopt to process emotions and improve mental health?

The speaker adopted the daily practice of writing three pages of uncensored, conscious stream of thought every morning to process emotions and improve mental health.

How does the speaker describe their current relationship with fear?

The speaker describes their current relationship with fear as one where they invite it in, understand it, and use it as a temporary feeling to grow and build confidence.

What realization did the speaker come to about living through other people?

The speaker realized that they had been living through other people's expectations and ideas, but have now shifted to prioritizing their own feelings and desires in life.

Outlines

00:00

🌱 Journey to Self-Discovery

The speaker begins by sharing their journey into self-discovery, inspired by an authentic YouTuber. They recount their educational path, starting from a secondary school where they felt confident and enjoyed their time, to a sixth form where they chose difficult subjects based on societal pressure. However, they quickly became disenchanted with their choices, dropped out of history, switched to sociology, and fell into self-destructive behaviors influenced by their new social circle. This led to a failure in their A-levels and a period of apathy towards life. Despite this, their mother encouraged them to attend university, where they studied fashion but ended up feeling uninspired and lost after graduation.

05:01

🎨 The Search for Purpose

After university, the speaker faced the daunting task of figuring out their life's direction without the structure of academia. Initially considering a career in fashion, they pivoted to art, drawn to the intellectual and cultural aspects as well as the emotional expressiveness of artists. They took a job at an art gallery, aspiring to become a manager, but felt directionless. Their interest in art was more about the artists themselves than the art. They explored various career paths within the art world, such as becoming an art consultant, but felt increasingly lost and confused until they discovered the practice of writing as a form of emotional processing and daily creation.

10:01

🔄 Transformation Through Mentorship

The speaker's life took a significant turn when they invested in a mentoring process with a spiritual teacher named Fabian. This decision led to a complete transformation, as they let go of drinking and overhauled their daily life, embracing activities like posting YouTube videos. Initially, they struggled with fear and anxiety, but learned to breathe through these emotions and invite them in to understand and overcome them. This newfound confidence allowed them to become a different person, replacing low-vibrational habits with more aligned ones, and waking up excited for each day.

15:04

🧘‍♂️ Prioritizing Personal Growth

The speaker emphasizes the importance of prioritizing personal growth and health, both physical and emotional. They've become addicted to the momentum of self-improvement, recognizing that growth is not linear and involves ups and downs. They've learned to say no to temporary pleasures and yes to activities that lead to long-term fulfillment. The speaker also discusses the realization that they had been living through the expectations of others and are now making choices based on their own intuition and desires, leading to a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.

20:06

🙏 Gratitude and Spiritual Connection

In the final paragraph, the speaker expresses gratitude for the positive changes in their life, attributing them not to their own ego but to a higher power. They reflect on the idea that taking steps towards a spiritual connection can lead to profound life changes. The speaker concludes by expressing gratitude for the journey and the realizations they've had, indicating a sense of peace and purpose.

Keywords

💡Journey

The term 'journey' refers to a process of traveling from one place to another but metaphorically, it can also represent a series of experiences or changes that a person goes through in their life. In the video, the speaker uses 'journey' to describe his personal development and the path he has taken to reach his current state of mind and being. The narrative starts from a point where things 'went wrong' and progresses to where he is now, highlighting the transformative nature of his experiences.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being genuine, original, and true to oneself. The speaker admires a YouTuber who speaks authentically about his journey, which resonates with the speaker and makes him want to listen. Authenticity is a central theme in the video, as the speaker himself strives to be genuine in his self-expression and in the way he presents his story to the audience.

💡Self-destructive behaviors

Self-destructive behaviors are actions that an individual engages in despite the harm they may cause to themselves. The speaker mentions being drawn to such behaviors during his time in sixth form, which led him to neglect his studies and hobbies. This keyword is pivotal as it marks a turning point in his journey, leading to a period of personal decline.

💡Prioritizing

Prioritizing refers to the act of arranging tasks or activities in order of their importance. In the script, the speaker talks about prioritizing socializing and engaging in self-destructive behaviors over studying and pursuing hobbies. This keyword is crucial as it illustrates the choices that led to negative outcomes in his life.

💡Apathy

Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. The speaker describes a period in his life where he was apathetic towards everything, including his studies and life in general. This keyword is significant as it reflects a state of emotional numbness that he eventually overcame.

💡Mentoring

Mentoring involves a more experienced or knowledgeable person helping to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. The speaker credits mentoring as a pivotal moment in his life, where he invested in himself and experienced a profound shift in his personal growth. This keyword is integral to the narrative as it signifies the start of his transformation.

💡Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. The speaker discusses developing his emotional intelligence by expressing himself vulnerably and recognizing the importance of emotional well-being. This keyword is key to the video's message about personal growth and self-awareness.

💡Fear

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. The speaker talks about learning to breathe through his fears and inviting fear in to understand it better. This keyword is central to the video's theme of overcoming obstacles and personal growth.

💡Investing in oneself

Investing in oneself means spending time, effort, or resources to improve one's skills, knowledge, or well-being. The speaker emphasizes the importance of investing in oneself as a means of personal transformation. This keyword is a central theme in the video, illustrating the idea that self-improvement leads to positive change.

💡Living through others

Living through others implies that one's life choices and actions are influenced or dictated by other people rather than by one's own desires or values. The speaker reflects on a time when he lived through others' expectations and how he transitioned to living according to his own values and desires. This keyword is significant as it highlights the transition from external to internal guidance in his life.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the state of being open to attack or damage but also refers to the willingness to show one's true feelings or be open about one's experiences. The speaker mentions the importance of being vulnerable in his writing and communication as a means of emotional expression and connection. This keyword is crucial to the video's message about the power of authenticity and self-expression.

Highlights

The speaker shares their journey from a challenging past to personal growth.

They were inspired by an authentic YouTuber who talks about his journey.

The speaker discusses the importance of being true to oneself.

They describe their experience in secondary school and how it shaped their confidence.

The decision to follow a girlfriend to a sixth form led to a challenging academic path.

The struggle with self-destructive behaviors and the impact on academic performance.

The realization of the need to prioritize personal well-being over destructive habits.

The pressure to attend university despite poor A-level results.

The pursuit of a fashion degree and the subsequent loss of passion for the field.

The disheartening job search process post-university.

The exploration of a career in art and the realization of a deeper interest in artists.

The transformative power of writing as a form of emotional processing.

The impact of a spiritual mentor on personal transformation.

The decision to invest in personal growth and the positive changes that followed.

The process of overcoming fear and embracing vulnerability.

The shift from living through others' expectations to living authentically.

The importance of prioritizing personal health and well-being.

The concept of growth as a non-linear process with ups and downs.

The realization that life should be lived for oneself, not through the expectations of others.

The gratitude for the changes brought about by personal development.

Transcripts

hello good morning it's morning

here I um intuitively feel like I want

to talk about my

journey my journey into getting to where

I am

now

and yeah I came across this guy's

YouTube he's uh he's younger and it's

very inspiring cuz like he talks so

authentically about his journey he it

doesn't feel like he's trying to be

anybody else but himself and there's

something

very there's something very like oh I

want to listen to this it's very

human so I will Begin by starting where

it all sort of went wrong and then to

where I got to now

uh I went to a sixth form after having

gone to a secondary school uh which

was which was

very the secondary school was like this

International School was a very

beautiful place for myself I I I enjoyed

it I fit I fit in I fited

in I felt confident there and yeah I

felt confident within my social

groups and I left

and followed where my girlfriend went at

the time to six form and I picked three

very difficult subjects for a levels

because I was told that you had to pick

three difficult subjects in order to

succeed in life so I picked history and

biology and

psychology and I dropped history after a

week because I thought um I remember

they were talking about Mormons

and Anglo Saxons or something and then I

was just like no I'm out this is boring

so I switched it to

sociology and um so I went there and I

found myself sort of falling into

friendships um naturally the friendships

were different to the ones that I had in

secondary

school as I sort of like talk about this

I I'm I'm aware that I don't want to

blame

anybody but but myself for the uh for

the actions that I sort of chose but

um there were types of people at that

six form

which indulged into self-destructive

behaviors which I hadn't come across

before and the susceptible being that I

am I

just that all seemed way more attractive

than

studying I wasn't exposed to it before

so I just I came across all of that and

then I just thought yeah I'm going to do

that instead of study basically and I

dropped all my hobbies um I used to play

sports and I stopped playing sports and

I switched it for going out and smoking

basically which is a uh a very pivotal

point in my life um as I began to

prioritize those stuff I began to un

prioritize

studying and it led me to fail my a

levels quite badly uh I got a u in my

biology I didn't revise for my biology

exam and um I was just sat there in the

exam

like smacking my pen up and down and the

invigilator was looking at me like is

this guy like okay like in a biology

exam and um yeah at that point I just

stopped caring about life uh in the most

destructive way

possible I sort of just thought what's

the point sort of thing like going out

that's more

fun so as you can imagine I got LED down

a very destructive

path

and um

I think

because of the generation that my mom

grew up in um she was like Alex you

should go to university regardless even

though you didn't do well um and I was

like well what am I going to do and not

to put fashion down but I was like well

I'm going to study fashion um cuz I love

fashion I've always loved the creativity

behind it so I thought I'd study it and

I studied it and I I came out of it just

as uninspired as I as I went

in I left not wanting to

um not wanting

[Music]

to not wanting to uh work in

fashion and

then this came the point of um sort

of so like a turning

point when I left uni uh I left

University and uh I was hit with the

dread of I now need to figure out what's

going on in my life I'm no longer an

autopilot my life isn't set out for me I

um I don't I don't just go to university

and get get told what to do I now have

to figure out what I want to do and the

job search process was the most

disheartening thing I've ever done in my

life

um so much so that I literally I just

thought well yeah I I I I switched ideas

I was like okay I don't want to work in

fashion maybe I want to work in art

because art

has it felt like it was more

intellectual and more

cultural and it had like elements of

Psych

ology well and truly all the the the

whole time I was actually just

interested in artists uh rather than art

in

general I got um I've spoken about this

before that I'm just attracted to

artists because they are emotionally

expressive and vulnerable

people and I can relate to

that uh so I I always fitted in in those

types of circles of like creative type

people like those types of creative I

know that that's not the only type of

creativity you can be a problem solver

creative person

but

um yeah that that part of my life I was

completely

hopeless um I completely lost Hope For

My

Life um I sort of thought what is the

point in at

all uh I was completely apathetic of

everything

and yeah I was working I was working at

The Gallery at the art gallery I finally

I finally got a job and it was at an art

gallery and at first I was enjoying

it and I was working towards like being

a manager there and all that stuff

but

truthfully I was just lost uh and I was

just getting off on the fact that I was

just around creative

people um and then I went through a

phase

where so like I was learning all about

art I was like learning and revising it

and and I thought okay I'm I'm going to

be an art consultant or an art dealer or

a creator

that was the plan the plan from the mind

this is what my mind came up with um and

the more and more I did it the more I

sort of felt like lost and confused and

like what am I

doing um and then I sort of switched

from that into sort of like reading

books about how to be an

artist and that was a lot more

inspiring than anything else that I had

done

before uh I read a book called

uh the artist way and it taught me

to write three pages of UNC well

conscious stream of thought every single

morning and I began to do that I began

to write and at first the writing was

quite

sad

and it was a way for me to process the

emotions and the thoughts and the

feelings which I had been avoiding

and uh it also just got me into this

mood of like creating something every

single day and it was a piece of writing

it was just me speaking vulnerably onto

paper and I found that throughout the

day I noticed I wasn't really feeling as

bad and I was actually feeling more

present I was like huh okay so that was

working really well for me and then I

went on holiday this is around

summertime and I came across um

Fabian uh he's a um spiritual teacher

he's a he's a friend of mine but he's a

spiritual teacher and he he was hosting

workshops

[Music]

and intuitively felt like yes I want to

do this this is what I want to do

um I didn't actually think that but this

is just like I was like I'm going to

throw myself into this whatever it is

and I went in with no

expectations

but uh I invested into myself into the

mentoring process and ever since then my

life completely changed

like it was like the the thing that I

needed to do in order for me to get to

to make all of the positive changes that

I needed to make it was like before all

of these changes were like like yeah I

I'll do them slowly slowly bit by

bit and like I wasn't really making

progress um not in the way that I truly

felt like I could like the potential

that I

had and uh just by investing into myself

into the

mentoring it's crazy because

um just by giving into by investing into

yourself you're already telling yourself

that you want to shift like why would

you invest into it and then not shift

like logically but from a

more

uh energetic standpoint like I my energy

completely shifted as soon as I as I as

I as I um invested into it

so I let go of

drinking

um I completely changed everything about

my day-to-day life I um started posting

YouTube uh

videos and at first it was really

frightening

um like I'd post and

then like my body would be overcome by

fear and I didn't know what to do with

it I was trying to figure out how do I

actually like work through fear like

what like what even is that um like how

do I work through

it and um yeah it was just like breathe

just

breathe and uh I did that

I I began to learn how to breathe

through my

fears so now I'm at a point where I

notice the fear arising in certain

situations and I just invite it I don't

even

um I don't even just allow it I actually

invite it inwards and I want to

understand it so I just I'm like okay I

feel I feel like this right now and I

put my hand wherever feels intuitively

right it might be my heart cuz my heart

feels like it's racing or it might feel

my stomach because my stomach feels

tense cuz I'm not breathing

properly and I just

breathe all the way out and all the way

in with this deeper knowing that like it

will

pass this feeling will pass this feeling

is

temporary

and the confidence that that has given

me

is

groundbreaking uh I am now a completely

different person than what I was

before

truthfully my life has completely

changed um I've replaced a lot of low

vibrational things

for

um yeah more aligned things things which

are actually truly meant for me uh and

it all came from me investing into

myself in that on that day it was

yeah very

pivotal now I'm just at a point

where I now have dreams and I wake up

every day and I'm excited to be alive

I I never felt like that before I always

felt like

um sort of like a dread or like a

feeling of like

oh I wake up and I'd sort of feel a

little bit like

oh um unknowing it's like it was like an

unknowing depression like an undiagnosed

sort of like

sadness which um just came from me

always saying yes to other people would

no to

myself and as I began to say yes to

myself I began to just cultivate a

frequency by choosing the right things

uh asking myself better questions like

obviously I want to go out drinking but

if I ask myself the question of do I

want to feel fresh tomorrow to wake up

and go for a

run and uh meditate and and journal and

create a video obviously that is like

way better cuz when I when I say no to

that thing that little temporary thing

and I say yes to the things that

actually make me feel

fulfilled the day after I do

that game

changer that is addictive it's um it's

within me I think it's like a

predisposition of having ADHD to become

addicted to things and um I've become

addicted to the momentum that I have

built kind of want to let go of it um I

just want to keep

pushing and every single day I learn

something new and I recognize also that

growth is not linear it's not like this

it's like it's like that so I have off

days I have off periods I um I sometimes

feel like I'm taking steps backwards and

I know that it's all just part of the

process you have to break down the

muscle in order to re build

it I am exercising my emotional

intelligence by uh expressing myself

vulnerably every single day I am

changing my mind about things I am

understanding things more and more and

more and um emotional intelligence isn't

something you just have one day it's

like a it's like going to the gym it's

like having

muscles um if you stop going to the gym

then you're going to lose

eventually

um so yeah I'm sort of just I'm so

focused on my health now in not in an

obsessive way but yeah kind of in an

obsessive way but not in in an unhealthy

obsessive way in a sort of like I

realized that it's the most important

thing to me because I realized that if I

change my inner

World um and

I change how I act externally my whole

reality will change I'll begin to

attract the right opportunities uh I I

will turn into the type of person who

has a successful career who has a

healthy relationships who is of service

to people and who wakes up every day and

feels happy to be

alive which is ultimately the goal

right and um yeah I want to talk about

this actually this is what I wanted to

talk about took me 18 minutes to

realize

um I realized yesterday that my whole

life I was living through other

people I might just crop the rest of the

stuff out just post

this um I realized my whole life I was

living through other people I was

uh I was living

through uh my parents and then I was

living through my school and then I was

living through my relationships and then

I was living through my through my

friendships and it's a it's a natural

process I'm not saying that it was bad

but as I became an adult I was still

living through them and now that I've

shifted and I literally just say no to

people all the time like no sorry I

can't do that no like and I just say yes

to to myself I prioritize my energy and

how and what I want to do and I make

that the main

focus I noticed that like I just this is

my life now like I actually choose what

I get to do and it's based off my

feelings it's not based off the ideas of

other people so it's like intuitively I

want to post videos on YouTube I want to

improve my communication I want to grow

emotionally and spiritually

and physically as well by doing exercise

but these are the most important things

to

me at this point in my life they

are I'm so grateful for

um for this I noticed that everything

that good that is good uh in my life

it's not because of me my ego uh will

sometimes uh think that it's because of

me um but truthfully God has always been

there uh I just haded to I just had to

take steps towards

it yeah him she

yeah when you take steps towards um

towards God God takes two steps towards

you it's

like

yeah it's

beautiful and um I'm so grateful for it

cuz it's completely changed my

life yeah

okay I'm going to leave it there for

today I'll

um yeah thank you