Communication differences between men and women
Summary
TLDRThe script discusses gender communication differences, highlighting how men tend to be linear thinkers while women are more circular. Using examples from work and personal life, it illustrates these differences and how they can lead to misunderstandings. It concludes by emphasizing the importance of understanding these differences to improve both business and intimate relationships.
Takeaways
- 🧠 Men tend to be more linear thinkers, focusing on getting to the point quickly.
- 🌀 Women often think more circularly, providing context and details before reaching a conclusion.
- 🗣️ Communication styles differ significantly between genders, which can lead to misunderstandings.
- 👥 In a business setting, these communication styles can affect efficiency and collaboration.
- 👫 In intimate relationships, understanding these differences can lead to more satisfying interactions.
- 👗 An example of a shopping scenario illustrates the contrast in approach between a man and a woman.
- 🤔 Men may feel tricked or frustrated by what they perceive as unnecessary complexity in tasks.
- ⏰ Women might feel rushed or misunderstood when their need for detail and context is not acknowledged.
- 🔄 Recognizing and adapting to these communication styles can resolve conflicts and improve relationships.
- ☕️ A positive example of a male colleague adapting to a female's communication style led to a successful meeting arrangement.
- 🤝 Understanding and embracing these differences is key to building rapport in both business and personal relationships.
Q & A
What is the main difference in communication styles between men and women according to the script?
-Men tend to be more linear thinkers, straightforward, and goal-oriented, while women tend to be more circular in their thinking, providing more details leading up to the point.
How does the script illustrate the difference in communication styles using the example of a department head?
-The department head, a woman, provided a detailed account of ongoing projects and issues before answering a question about having more time, whereas a man in the meeting interrupted to give a direct 'no' answer.
What impact does this communication difference have on intimate relationships?
-It can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, as seen in the example of the speaker and her husband shopping for a dress, where the husband's goal-oriented approach clashed with the wife's more exploratory shopping style.
How does the speaker's husband, Dave, react when asked to go shopping for a black dress?
-Dave would rather avoid shopping but agrees to make his wife happy. He quickly finds a black dress, wanting to go home, but his wife wants to explore more options.
What is the underlying conflict between the speaker and her husband during their shopping trip?
-The underlying conflict is a miscommunication about gender communication principles, where the husband sees shopping as a goal to be completed quickly, while the wife enjoys the process.
How does understanding these communication differences improve relationships?
-Understanding these differences can lead to more satisfying relationships, both in business and intimate settings, by allowing for better communication and rapport.
What is the example given in the script where the speaker successfully adapts her communication style?
-The speaker adapts her communication style when a male colleague asks to meet for coffee. Initially, she provides a detailed explanation, but then realizes his linear thinking and gives a direct answer, 'Tuesday at 3:00'.
Why does the male colleague react positively to the speaker's direct answer about meeting time?
-The male colleague reacts positively because he was looking for a straightforward answer to his linear question, and the speaker's direct response met his expectation.
What does the speaker suggest is the key to better communication between men and women?
-The key to better communication is understanding that both genders are trying to do the right thing but approach it differently, and recognizing these differences can lead to better rapport.
What is the speaker's final message about male and female communication styles?
-The speaker's final message is that neither gender is right or wrong in their communication styles; they simply have different approaches that can be better understood and appreciated.
Outlines
👥 Gender Communication Differences
The paragraph discusses the fundamental differences in communication styles between men and women. Men are described as linear thinkers who are direct and goal-oriented, often providing straightforward answers to questions. In contrast, women are portrayed as more circular in their thinking, offering detailed responses that may not immediately address the question's core. An example from a college meeting illustrates this, where a female department head provides a detailed account before a male colleague interrupts for a direct answer. The speaker uses personal anecdotes to explain how these differences can affect both business and intimate relationships, suggesting that understanding these principles can lead to more satisfying interactions.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Linear thinkers
💡Circular thinkers
💡Goal-oriented
💡Details
💡Bottom line
💡Business scenario
💡Intimate relationships
💡Miscommunication
💡Rapport
💡Gender communication principles
💡Satisfying relationships
Highlights
Men tend to be more linear thinkers, while women are more circular in their thinking.
Men answer questions directly, whereas women provide details leading up to the point.
In a business scenario, a female department head provided extensive context instead of a direct answer.
A male colleague interrupted to provide a direct 'no' answer, illustrating the linear thinking approach.
Gender communication differences can affect both business and intimate relationships.
An example of shopping for a dress shows how men aim for efficiency while women enjoy the process.
The husband's frustration stems from a goal-oriented mindset versus the wife's circular approach to shopping.
Understanding gender communication principles can lead to more satisfying relationships.
A meeting request illustrates the difference between a linear question and a detailed, circular response.
The speaker adjusts her response to match the male colleague's linear thinking, achieving rapport.
It's important to recognize that both genders are trying to do the right thing, just in different ways.
Understanding each other's communication styles can lead to better business and intimate relationships.
The speaker emphasizes that it's not about who is right or wrong, but about understanding different approaches.
The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to remember the importance of understanding gender communication differences.
Transcripts
so let's start with the guys so guys for
a lot of reasons that I don't have time
to talk about this morning grow up in an
environment where they tend to be more
linear thinkers they're more
straightforward goal-oriented they get
to the point very quickly if you ask a
man a question most likely he's going to
answer that question if I want details I
basically have to drag that details out
of him right women on the other hand
tend to be a little more circular in
their thinking you ask a woman a
question she's going to give you all the
details leading up to the bottom line if
you're lucky right she'll get to the
bottom line
perfect example the other day I was at a
meeting at the college where I teach
full time and someone had asked one of
the department heads who happens to be a
female now that this project is over
that you're working on are you going to
have more time to work on other things
she started in with well we still got
this going on in that department and we
got some budget issues over here and
we're working on some things over here
and I could see the men just blazing
over right literally one of the men
stood up and said the short answer to
your question is no we're not going to
have more time to work on other things
as men see it it's more of a linear
question and say yes or no kind of
question she was giving all the details
ok so this obviously can affect us in a
business scenario but it definitely
affects us in our intimate relationships
as well I'll use myself and my husband
as an example so the weekend rolls
around I come up to Dave and I say Dave
I got to go shopping for a black dress
for that wedding this weekend that we're
going to will you come shopping with me
ok Dave would rather smash his fingers
with a hammer then go shopping with me
on a Saturday morning but he agrees
because you know he wants to make me
happy so we go off downtown he makes a
beeline to the first woman's store that
we see he goes to the first rounder
black dresses he finds my size let's go
home right he's found the dress but you
know I'm not sure that I like that black
dress hmm in fact maybe I need to wear
floral because it's springtime now and
I'm going to need to look for some cute
sandals and earrings to go with it and
this is going to take us a while so why
don't we get a coffee and just kind of
window shop a little bit ok now Dave is
visibly frustrated right this is not
what Dave signed up to
- he did not sign up for this whole
circular activity filled with all kinds
of stuff he saw it as a goal right we
had to find the black dress he did it
now he wants to go home now
as Dave sees it I get tricked every time
she asked me to do this right how do I
get sucked into this every single time
but from my perspective it's like
seriously we have been out here for 20
minutes and you're already getting on my
nerves right so now Dave and I are in
conflict and what's underlying this
conflict is that we are having some
miscommunication about some basic male
female gender communication principles
but you know what's amazing is once we
actually get this figured out we can
have much more satisfying relationships
whether it's business or our intimate
relationships and I want to end by
giving you a very short example of how
this can actually work once you figure
this out so just the other day I was in
a school again at work and a colleague
comes up to me who was male and said
Diane I need to meet with you for coffee
and talk about this project we're
working on when can you meet okay this
is a linear question when can you meet
me being a female I start in with well
Monday I teach all day long so I'm in
the classroom a man I'm tired by the end
I don't want to do it but Tuesday I have
this aerobics class that I like and I
don't want to miss that either and he's
like oh my god where is the answer to
this question right he's glazing over so
I noticed this because I understand the
differences between male/female
communication I noticed this I pause and
I say Jack I can meet you on Tuesday at
3:00 huge smile on his face right we
solved that problem we were in rapport
because I understood where he was coming
from so this is why it's so important
and this is one thing out of about 20
that I could have talked about this
morning and when we start to
understanding each other better we can
have such better not only business
relationships but our intimate
relationships as well so I want you to
remember that men and women it's not
that one is doing it right or wrong
we're all coming together to try to do
the right thing we just go about doing
it in different ways and it's not until
we understand that can we really truly
have rapport Thanks
you
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