The Dangerous Games of the Covert Narcissist #narcissist #npd #personalitydisorder

Summary

This video unmasks the covert narcissist's manipulative tactics, revealing how they use a facade of innocence, feigned compassion, and intellectual superiority to exploit others. It also discusses triangulation, the 'poor me' game, false humility, gaslighting, silent treatment, emotional withholding, and exploiting insecurities. The video serves as a guide to recognize these behaviors and protect oneself from such toxic relationships.

Takeaways

• 😷 Covert narcissists are subtle and wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood to hide their manipulative behaviors.
• 🥺 They often play the victim to gain sympathy and make others feel responsible for their emotional well-being.
• 🤔 Feigning compassion, they pretend to be empathetic but their actions are driven by a need for admiration, not genuine concern.
• 🧠 They present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others to assert dominance and maintain control.
• 🗣️ Triangulation is used to create discord and competition among people in their lives by spreading gossip or half-truths.
• 😢 The 'poor me' tactic is employed to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and to gain narcissistic supply.
• 🙅‍♂️ False humility and superiority are used to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.
• 💬 Gaslighting is used to distort reality and make victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings.
• 😐 The silent treatment and passive aggression are tactics used to control and punish, creating anxiety and distress in the victim.
• 🤝 Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where love, affection, and support are withheld to create a sense of longing and dependency.
• 🕵️‍♂️ They exploit the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence and keep them dependent on the narcissist for validation.

Q & A

What is a covert narcissist?

A covert narcissist is a type of narcissistic personality that is more subtle and harder to detect compared to overt narcissists. They wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood, making their manipulative behaviors difficult to spot until significant damage is done.

What is the facade of innocence?

The facade of innocence is a deceptive aspect of a covert narcissist where they present themselves as gentle, caring, and self-sacrificing to manipulate others and gain sympathy.

How do covert narcissists use victimhood to their advantage?

Covert narcissists often play the victim, making others feel responsible for their emotional well-being. They may share stories about past traumas to position themselves as fragile and in need of care, which can disarm targets and make them overlook the narcissist's manipulative behavior.

What is the difference between feigned compassion and true empathy?

Feigned compassion is when covert narcissists pretend to be empathetic and compassionate when it suits their agenda, often in public or when others are watching. True empathy, however, is consistent and not limited to moments where it can be witnessed by others.

How do covert narcissists use intellectual superiority to manipulate others?

Covert narcissists may present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others' intelligence or ideas. They might use complex language or obscure references to make others feel inadequate, asserting dominance and maintaining control in relationships.

What is triangulation and how is it used by covert narcissists?

Triangulation is a tactic used by covert narcissists to create discord and competition among people in their lives. They pit one person against another by spreading gossip or half-truths to create mistrust and rivalry, allowing them to maintain control and power.

What is the 'poor me' game and how does it relate to narcissistic supply?

The 'poor me' game is when covert narcissists exaggerate their struggles and vulnerabilities to paint themselves as helpless victims. This is a way to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them, which provides a premium narcissistic supply.

How does false humility manifest in covert narcissists?

False humility in covert narcissists is when they downplay their achievements or feign modesty while seeking validation and admiration from others. This subtle form of superiority is designed to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.

What is gaslighting and how do covert narcissists use it?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where covert narcissists distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings. This can erode the victim's self-confidence and sense of reality, leaving them dependent on the narcissist for validation.

How do covert narcissists use silent treatment and passive aggression?

Covert narcissists use passive aggressive tactics like the silent treatment to control and punish their victims. Instead of openly expressing displeasure or anger, they withdraw affection or communication, causing the target to feel anxious and distressed, and desperate to figure out what's wrong.

What is emotional withholding and why do covert narcissists use it?

Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where covert narcissists withhold love, affection, approval, or emotional support to punish or control their victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, they keep their target in a state of longing and uncertainty, making them more dependent on the narcissist for emotional fulfillment.

How do covert narcissists exploit insecurities?

Covert narcissists are skilled at identifying and exploiting the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence. They may bring up past failures or vulnerabilities at opportune moments to keep their victim feeling inadequate and dependent on the narcissist for validation.

Outlines

00:00

😈 Unmasking the Covert Narcissist's Dangerous Games

The video begins by introducing the concept of covert narcissism, highlighting the subtle and hard-to-detect nature of these individuals compared to their overt counterparts. The narrator emphasizes the importance of recognizing the manipulative behaviors of covert narcissists, who often wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood. The video then transitions to promoting a new online community called 'The Recovery Circle,' which offers resources and support for individuals dealing with narcissistic behaviors. The first manipulative tactic discussed is the 'facade of innocence,' where covert narcissists present themselves as gentle and caring to gain sympathy and manipulate others. The video advises viewers to be wary of inconsistencies and the constant need for validation through victimhood, which are red flags of covert narcissism.

05:00

😰 Covert Narcissist's Tactics: Triangulation, Poor Me, and False Humility

This paragraph delves into the tactics of triangulation, where covert narcissists create discord by pitting people against each other through gossip and half-truths. The narrator advises viewers to be cautious of such behaviors and to verify the information they receive. The 'poor me' tactic is also discussed, where narcissists play the victim to elicit sympathy and support. The video warns against the consistent use of guilt and pity as a means of control. Additionally, the paragraph addresses the use of false humility and superiority, where covert narcissists downplay their achievements while seeking admiration, a subtle way to assert dominance. The narrator encourages viewers to look for patterns of behavior that suggest a focus on power rather than genuine support.

10:02

😤 Emotional Manipulation and Exploitation by Covert Narcissists

The final paragraph covers more manipulative tactics such as gaslighting, where covert narcissists distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions. The narrator describes how this can lead to a loss of self-confidence and dependence on the narcissist for validation. The silent treatment and passive aggression are also highlighted as methods of control and punishment, causing anxiety and distress in the victim. Emotional withholding is another tactic where narcissists create a vacuum of emotional support to keep their targets dependent. The paragraph concludes with the exploitation of insecurities, where covert narcissists use vulnerabilities to undermine their targets' confidence and maintain control. The video ends with a call to action for viewers to like, subscribe, and follow the channel for more content on this topic.

Keywords

💡Covert Narcissist

A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who exhibits narcissistic traits in a more subtle and hidden way compared to overt narcissists. They manipulate and control others through subtle behaviors such as playing the victim or feigning empathy. In the video, the covert narcissist is described as wearing a mask of humility and victimhood, making their manipulation hard to detect.

💡Facade of Innocence

The facade of innocence is a tactic used by covert narcissists to present themselves as gentle, caring, and self-sacrificing individuals. This makes them appear harmless while they manipulate others. In the video, it is explained that this facade helps covert narcissists gain sympathy and disarm their targets, allowing them to manipulate through guilt and pity.

💡Victimhood

Victimhood is a manipulation tactic where the covert narcissist constantly positions themselves as a victim of circumstance or other people. This encourages others to feel responsible for their emotional well-being. In the video, it is mentioned that covert narcissists frequently share stories of past trauma to elicit sympathy and manipulate their targets.

💡Feigning Empathy

Feigning empathy refers to the act of pretending to be compassionate or concerned about others. Covert narcissists use this to craft an image of themselves as kind-hearted. The video highlights that this empathy is often performative, shown only in public or when it serves their agenda, and lacks authenticity in private interactions.

💡Intellectual Superiority

Intellectual superiority is a tactic covert narcissists use to assert dominance over others by making them feel intellectually inferior. This can involve using complex language, quoting obscure references, or belittling others’ ideas. The video notes that covert narcissists often use this strategy to maintain control in relationships, leaving their targets feeling inadequate.

💡Triangulation

Triangulation is a manipulation strategy where covert narcissists create conflict or competition among people by spreading gossip or misinformation. This keeps others off balance and focused on each other rather than on the narcissist’s behavior. The video explains that this tactic is used to maintain power and control in social dynamics.

💡Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique where the covert narcissist distorts reality to make the victim doubt their own perceptions and memories. Over time, this erodes the victim’s confidence and leaves them dependent on the narcissist for validation. The video highlights gaslighting as a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, making victims question their judgment.

💡Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic where the covert narcissist withholds communication to control and punish their target. This creates anxiety and desperation in the victim as they try to figure out what they did wrong. The video mentions that this method of emotional withdrawal is used to reestablish dominance over the victim.

💡Emotional Withholding

Emotional withholding is when the covert narcissist withholds affection, approval, or emotional support to punish or control the victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, they keep the victim in a state of uncertainty and dependency. The video explains that covert narcissists use this tactic to manipulate their targets, making them constantly seek validation.

💡False Humility

False humility is a tactic where covert narcissists downplay their achievements or make self-deprecating comments to seek praise and validation from others. This creates an illusion of modesty while reinforcing their sense of superiority. The video points out that this behavior is a subtle way for covert narcissists to maintain control without appearing arrogant.

Highlights

Covert narcissists are more subtle and harder to detect than overt narcissists.

They wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood to hide their manipulative behaviors.

The facade of innocence is a primary tool for covert narcissists to gain sympathy.

They often play the victim to make others feel responsible for their emotional well-being.

Feigning compassion and empathy is a common tactic used by covert narcissists.

They may pretend to be empathetic only when it suits their agenda.

Covert narcissists present themselves as intellectually superior to belittle others.

Triangulation is used to create discord and competition among people in their lives.

The 'poor me' game is used to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them.

False humility and superiority is a dead giveaway of covert narcissists.

Gaslighting is a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, used to distort reality and make victims doubt themselves.

The silent treatment and passive aggression are used to control and punish.

Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation used to create an emotional vacuum.

Covert narcissists exploit the insecurities of others to maintain power and control.

The video introduces 'The Recovery Circle', an online community for support and resources.

Consistent patterns of behavior that suggest a focus on maintaining power over genuine support.

The importance of recognizing when someone's advice or actions lead to negative outcomes.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to engage with the content and the community.

Transcripts

[Music]

in today's video we are exposing the

covert narcissist dangerous games covert

narcissists are among the most Insidious

of all narcissistic personalities unlike

their overt counterparts who are often

loud and arrogant and visibly

self-centered covert narcissists are

more subtle and harder to detect they

wear a mask of humility sensitivity or

victimhood making their manipulative

behaviors difficult to spot until the

damage is done so in today's video we

are exposing the dangerous games covert

narcissist play so you will know what to

watch out for but first I want to let

everyone know about our new Online

private community that just launched

it's called The Recovery Circle where

you will have unlimited access to all of

the course material I have built you'll

have access to weekly Q&A live streams

with me and group meetings and it's a

safe space where you can tell your story

and build friendships with other

survivors the link is in the description

below and I hope to see you there so now

let's get into to the unmasking of the

covert narcissist dangerous games and

the first one we are going to talk about

is the facad of Innocence one of the

most deceptive aspects of a covert

narcissist is their carefully

constructed facade of Innocence they

often present themselves as gentle

caring and even self-sacrificing

individuals this facade is their primary

tool for manipulating others and gaining

sympathy so covert narcissist will often

play the victim making others feel

responsible for their emotional

well-being they may share stories about

past traumas or hardships subtly

positioning themselves as fragile and in

need of care and this tactic can disarm

the targets making them more likely to

overlook or excuse the narcissist

manipulative Behavior always remember

covert narcissists love to manipulate

and exploit people using guilt and pity

so if you are concerned that a covert

narcissist is involved in your life pay

attention to inconsistencies in their

stories or behaviors do they often

position themselves as the victim in

every situation do they seem to derive

pleasure from others sympathy the

constant need for validation through

victimhood is a huge huge red flag next

feigning compassion and empathy covert

narcissists are Masters at pretending to

be empathetic and compassionate when it

suits their agenda they might go out of

their way to help others especially if

they're in public or when others are

watching to craft an image of themselves

as kind-hearted and

selfless however this display is often

Hollow driven by the need for admiration

and approval rather than genuine concern

usually when this happens you will be

able to feel that it is inauthentic

there will be a phony feel to their

so-called empathy so if someone if

someone's acts of kindness seem

performative or are only shown in public

but they are cold or indifferent in

private they may they might be feigning

compassion true empathy is consistent

and not limited to moments where it can

be witnessed by others next they love

playing the intellectual Superior covert

narcissists often present themselves as

intellectually Superior to others subtly

belittling the intelligence or the ideas

of those around them they they might do

this by using complex language quoting

obscure references or questioning others

in a way that makes them feel inadequate

or ignorant even this is a way of

asserting dominance and maintaining

control in relationships so if someone

consistently makes you feel inferior or

unintelligent or if they always have to

be the smartest person in the room they

may be using intellectual superiority to

manipulate and control this Behavior

often leaves others feeling belittled or

doubting their own abilities next they

use triangulation and de guide and

Conquer strategies and all covert

narcissists love to use this one

triangulation is a tactic covert

narcissists use to create Discord and

competition among people in their lives

meaning they will often pit one person

against another by spreading gossip or

half-truths to create mistrust and

rivalry this allows them to maintain

control and power by keeping others off

balance and focused on each each other

rather than on the narcissist Behavior

so how do you recognize this game if you

notice that someone often talks

negatively about others or shares

information that seems intended to

create conflict they may be using

triangulation so be cautious about

believing everything they say or

consider discussing any concerns

directly with the other parties involved

I often say be careful what you hear

about someone because you just might be

hearing it from the problem next the

poor me game covert narcissists often

employ the poor me tactic to manipulate

others into feeling sorry for them that

is premium narcissistic Supply so they

will exaggerate their struggles play up

their vulnerabilities and paint

themselves as helpless victims which

unfortunately can lead their targets to

go out of their way to help support and

defend the narcissist even at their own

expense again remember they love to use

guilt and pity to control other people

and that's not normal guys people

generally do not want to be pied and if

someone in your life gives you the old

poor me number consistently be sure to

take a closer look because that is a big

red flag also if you find that someone's

advice or actions frequently leads to

negative outcomes for you consider

whether they might be intentionally

undermining you look for patterns of

behavior that suggest they are more

focused on maintaining power than on

genuinely supporting you next be on the

lookout for false humility and

superiority this is another dead

giveaway while overt narcissists are

blatantly arrogant covert narcissists

often mask their superiority in false

humility they might downplay their

achievements or Fain modesty all while

seeking validation and admiration from

others this subtle form of superiority

is designed to keep others in a position

of inferiority without appearing overtly

arrogant so be on the lookout for

someone who frequently makes

self-deprecating comments but seems to

enjoy when others contradict them with

praise this pattern of false humility is

often a way to fish for compliments and

reinforce their sense of superiority

next gaslighting and emotional

manipulation gaslighting is the Hallmark

of narcissistic abuse and covert

narcissists are particularly skilled at

it they subtly distort reality to make

their victims doubt their own

perceptions memories or feelings for

example they might insist that a

conversation or event never happened or

that it occurred differently than the

victim remembers over time this tactic

can erode the victim's self-confidence

and sense of reality leaving them

dependent on the narcissist for

validation so if you find yourself

consistently doubting your memory or

questioning your judgment after

interacting with someone you probably

should consider whether this person

might be gaslighting you another

dangerous game of the covert narcissist

is their use of the silent treatment and

passive aggression covert narcissists

often use passive aggressive tactics

like the silent treatment to control and

punish their victims instead of openly

expressing their displeasure or anger

they withdraw affection or communication

leaving the target to try and guess what

they did wrong this silent treatment can

last for days even weeks or sometimes

even months which usually will create

significant anxiety and distress in the

victim who can even start to feel

desperate to figure out what's wrong or

make amends which is the goal of the

covert narcissist along with

reestablishing dominance and a sense of

control over the target the silent

treatment in particular is one of the

more cruel forms of manipulation and

abuse tactics that covert narcissists

are prone to use and as I said because

of that it can make the target extremely

upset or even desperate to figure out

what's wrong remember normal adults

don't go silent when there's an issue or

a problem they openly communicate with

the other person so if you have someone

in your your life that gives you the

silent treatment you need to take a

closer look at this individual in my

opinion because you may be dealing with

a covert narcissist emotional

withholding is another game covert

narcissists absolutely love to use

emotional withholding is a subtle yet

powerful form of manipulation used by

covert narcissist where they withhold

love affection approval or emotional

support as a way to punish or control

their victim by creating an emotional

vacuum the narcissist keeps their Target

in a state of longing and uncertainty

making them more dependent on the

narcissist for emotional fulfillment

normal people do not withhold love

affection and emotional support from

people that they love so if you have

found yourself in a relationship where

you are constantly seeking approval or

affection that never seems to come or if

the emotional support is given only on

this person's terms emotional

withholding may be at play this tactic

is designed to keep you off balance and

emotionally dependent next they love to

exploit the insecurities of others

covert narcissists are skilled at

identifying the insecurities of others

and using them to their advantage they

might bring up past failures physical

flaws or other vulnerabilities at

opportune moments to undermine their

Target's confidence by praying on these

insecurities they keep their victim

feeling inadequate and dependent on the

narcissist for validation they may

disguise their exploitation of your

insecurities as a joke or even as

concern but don't buy into that

narrative anytime someone humiliates or

embar embes another human being no

matter how they present it is a big big

red flag okay that's going to do it for

today's video If you like this video

please give it a thumbs up and please

subscribe to my channel also follow me

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links are in the description below

thanks for watching everyone