TEDxSussexUniversity - Lynne Murphy - American and British Politeness

Summary

The speaker, an American immigrant in the UK, delves into the nuances of politeness in British and American cultures. She explores the concepts of 'face' from linguistic politeness theory, highlighting the differences between positive and negative face desires in social interactions. Using examples like complimenting and thanking, she illustrates how these cultures express politeness differently, leading to misunderstandings and stereotypes. The talk concludes with a humorous acknowledgment of the complexity of politeness and the importance of recognizing cultural scripts.

Takeaways

• 🌍 The speaker, an American immigrant in the UK, discusses cultural differences in politeness between Americans and the British.
• 🤔 The concept of politeness varies between cultures, with stereotypes often forming due to miscommunications based on unspoken cultural beliefs.
• 🗣️ Politeness is governed by cultural scripts that dictate how individuals interact, with the British often valuing privacy and the Americans valuing positive affirmation.
• 🏛️ The UK leans towards a deference politeness system, emphasizing social hierarchies and formality, while the US is a solid example of a solidarity culture, valuing equality and informality.
• 👥 Americans tend to give more compliments as a way to exchange positive face, which is a cultural norm to establish goodwill and a sense of belonging.
• 🧳 The British are more reserved with compliments and personal information, reflecting a cultural emphasis on personal privacy and less direct communication.
• 🤝 In the UK, the use of 'thank you' has evolved to serve as a conversational marker rather than an expression of gratitude, unlike in the US where it retains its original meaning.
• 😅 English people may perceive American compliments as insincere due to the frequency and the positive nature of the comments, which can feel invasive without a pre-established relationship.
• 😕 Americans might find British understatement and irony insincere, as they prioritize direct and positive affirmation in communication.
• 🤔 The speaker concludes that rather than asking who is ruder, it's more productive to understand the different cultural scripts that dictate politeness in various societies.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the speech?

The main topic of the speech is the concept of politeness in different cultures, specifically comparing British and American cultural norms and perceptions of politeness.

How long has the speaker been living in the United Kingdom?

The speaker has been living in the United Kingdom for 12 years.

What does the speaker use as a research tool to understand cultural perceptions?

The speaker uses Google autocomplete as a research tool to understand cultural perceptions and stereotypes.

What are the two aspects of 'face' mentioned in the speech?

The two aspects of 'face' mentioned are 'positive face', which is the desire to be appreciated and valued, and 'negative face', which is the desire to act unimpeded and without consideration of others' feelings.

What is the difference between 'solidarity politeness systems' and 'deference politeness systems'?

Solidarity politeness systems prioritize positive-face exchanges, promoting a sense of belonging and equality, while deference politeness systems emphasize negative-face aspects, often found in hierarchical societies, promoting formality and indirect communication.

Why do Americans give a lot of compliments?

Americans give a lot of compliments as an easy way to provide positive face, expressing appreciation and value for something about the person they are interacting with.

How do English people typically respond to compliments, according to the speaker?

English people may find compliments from Americans insincere and often respond to compliments by downplaying or deflecting them, which can be seen as an attempt to maintain a sense of equality in the interaction.

What does the speaker say about the use of 'thank you' in British culture?

In British culture, 'thank you' has become semantically emptier and is often used as a marker to segment interactions rather than expressing gratitude.

Why do British people use 'thank you' frequently in interactions?

British people use 'thank you' frequently to acknowledge segments in an interaction and to maintain a sense of politeness and formality, which can also serve as a conversational marker to indicate that no further communication is needed.

What does the speaker suggest is the wrong question to ask when comparing British and American cultures?

The speaker suggests that asking 'who's the rudest?' is the wrong question when comparing British and American cultures, as it overlooks the different cultural scripts and politeness norms that lead to different behaviors.

How does the speaker conclude the speech?

The speaker concludes the speech by emphasizing that the focus should not be on determining who is more polite, but rather on understanding the different ways in which cultures express politeness and the hidden cultural scripts that influence behavior.