⚠️ The Problem - What's Going On? 🫤 | Madan Gowri | Tamil | MG

Summary

In this video, Madan Gowri addresses the increasing discussions around divorce in India, exemplified by celebrity cases like Jayam Ravi's. He outlines six key factors contributing to the rise in divorce rates, including societal normalization, female empowerment, urbanization, high expectations, legal awareness, and nuclear family structures. Despite perceptions, India's divorce rate remains at 1%, with a projection of 10% by 2125. Gowri emphasizes the importance of respecting personal privacy in divorce and offers eight steps for couples to strengthen their marriages, concluding with a call for a more understanding society towards divorce.

Takeaways

• 📢 The topic of divorce, exemplified by the case of actor Jayam Ravi, is a widely discussed issue in India, suggesting a perceived increase in frequency.
• 🌟 Despite perceptions, the actual divorce rate in India is quite low, at only about 1% of married couples.
• 🚀 There has been a significant increase in the divorce rate over the past decades, from nearly negligible to 1% today.
• 🔮 A projection for the year 2125 suggests that the divorce rate in India might rise to 10%, based on current trends.
• 🏙️ Urbanization and the associated high-stress lifestyles are identified as one of the key factors contributing to the rise in divorces.
• 💪 The empowerment of women, allowing them to leave unhappy marriages, is another significant factor in the increase of divorce rates.
• 📉 The stigma surrounding divorce is diminishing, with more open discussions and normalization of the concept in society.
• 💔 High expectations and unrealistic marital ideals can lead to divorce when unmet, highlighting the need for realistic partnership goals.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The shift from joint to nuclear families has reduced the social support that traditionally helped to maintain marriages.
• 🗣️ Media, particularly social media, plays a significant role in amplifying the perception of high-profile divorces, skewing public perception.
• 🤝 The video suggests eight steps to avoid divorce, emphasizing the importance of pre-marital counseling, continuous effort, quality time, managing expectations, mutual respect, conflict resolution, shared responsibilities, and honest communication.

Q & A

What is the current perception of divorce in India according to the script?

The script suggests that there is a growing sense that divorces are becoming more common in India, and this perception is widespread not only in Tamil Nadu but across the country.

How does the script describe the public reaction to Jayam Ravi's divorce?

The script indicates that Jayam Ravi's divorce has sparked significant discussion and has become a common topic of conversation, reflecting a broader societal interest in celebrity divorces.

What are the six key factors identified in the script that contribute to the rise in divorces in India?

The script outlines six factors: normalization and open discussion of divorce, women's empowerment, urbanization, high expectations in marriages, growing legal awareness about divorce options, and the nuclearization of families.

What is the current divorce rate in India as mentioned in the script?

The script states that in India, if 100 people marry, only about one couple, or 1%, might get divorced.

How does the script compare the divorce rate in India to historical rates?

The script provides a historical perspective, noting that in 1920, divorce was almost unheard of, and by 1940, the divorce rate was 0.1%. It took 70-80 years for the divorce rate to grow from 0.1% to 1%.

What is the projected divorce rate in India for the year 2125 according to the script?

The script projects that by 2125, the divorce rate in India might reach 10%, meaning if 100 people marry, 10 of them may get divorced.

Why does the script suggest that divorce might seem more common than the 1% rate suggests?

The script attributes this perception to the influence of media, particularly social media, which frequently highlights high-profile divorce cases, creating a lasting impact and a perception that divorce is more common than it actually is.

What steps does the script recommend to avoid divorce?

The script lists eight steps: pre-marital counseling, continuous effort, spending quality time together, managing expectations, mutual respect, conflict resolution, sharing responsibilities equally, and honest communication.

How does the script suggest society should view divorce?

The script encourages society to view divorce as a normal part of life, not to be stigmatized, and to respect the privacy and decisions of those who choose to divorce.

What is the script's final message regarding divorce rates and societal perception?

The script concludes by reassuring that despite the perceived increase in divorce rates, they remain relatively low in India and that society should not lose hope in marriage, but rather understand and respect the decisions of individuals involved in divorce.

Outlines

00:00

📢 Rising Divorce Rates in India: A Societal Shift

The video script begins with a discussion on the increasing frequency of divorces in India, using the high-profile divorce of actor Jayam Ravi as a starting point. The script highlights a growing societal awareness and normalization of divorce, with a particular focus on the reactions and discussions it sparks among the public. It also introduces the intention to delve into the truths and harsh realities behind the rise in divorce rates, emphasizing the seriousness of the topic and the speaker's commitment to sharing important insights.

05:04

🔍 Analyzing the Factors Behind India's Divorce Trend

This section of the script explores the reasons behind the rise in divorce rates in India. It outlines six key factors contributing to the trend: the diminishing stigma of divorce, increasing empowerment of women, the impact of urbanization and high-stress lifestyles, high expectations within marriages, growing legal awareness about divorce options, and the shift towards nuclear families. The script also provides statistics on the current divorce rates, noting that despite perceptions, only about 1% of married couples in India divorce, and compares this to historical data and projections for the future.

10:06

🌟 Navigating Marriage and Divorce in the Public Eye

The final paragraph of the script addresses the public's perception of divorce, particularly in the context of celebrity breakups. It discusses the role of media and social platforms in shaping these perceptions and the importance of respecting the privacy and decisions of individuals going through a divorce. The speaker emphasizes the need for society to offer understanding and space to those experiencing divorce, rather than judgment or sensationalism. The script concludes with a reminder that while divorce rates may be a topic of concern, they should not overshadow the majority of successful marriages and the importance of focusing on the well-being of the individuals involved.

Keywords

💡Divorce

Divorce refers to the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. In the context of the video, divorce is the central theme, with a focus on its increasing prevalence in India and the societal implications. The video discusses the personal journey of celebrities like Jayam Ravi, whose divorce has sparked widespread conversations, illustrating the normalization and de-stigmatization of divorce.

💡Normalization

Normalization, in this context, refers to the process by which divorce is becoming more accepted and less stigmatized in Indian society. The video highlights a shift from the historical fear and taboo surrounding divorce to a more open and accepting attitude, as seen in the public discourse and media coverage of high-profile divorces.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment, particularly of women, is discussed as a key factor contributing to the rise in divorce rates. The video suggests that women's increased independence and ability to make choices about their own lives, including leaving unhappy marriages, is a significant societal change that has influenced the prevalence of divorce.

💡Urbanization

Urbanization is mentioned as a contributing factor to the increase in divorce rates. The video points to the high-stress lifestyle in cities and the impact of this on relationships, suggesting that the pressures of urban living can strain marriages and lead to divorce.

💡Expectations

Expectations within marriage are highlighted as a potential cause for divorce. The video discusses how unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and the eventual breakdown of a marriage, emphasizing the importance of managing and aligning expectations in a relationship.

💡Legal Awareness

Legal awareness is noted as a factor in the rise of divorces. The video suggests that as people become more knowledgeable about their legal rights and options, they may be more inclined to consider divorce as a viable solution to marital problems.

💡Nuclearization of Families

Nuclearization of families refers to the trend of families becoming smaller and more isolated from extended family networks. The video argues that this shift has reduced the social support and pressure to maintain marriages, potentially leading to a higher likelihood of divorce.

💡Stigma

Stigma is discussed in relation to the historical and societal views on divorce. The video points out that while there was once a significant stigma attached to divorce in India, this is gradually diminishing, allowing for more open conversations and acceptance of divorce.

💡Celebrity Divorces

Celebrity divorces are used as examples to illustrate the public's fascination and the media's focus on high-profile breakups. The video suggests that the coverage of celebrity divorces might contribute to the perception that divorce is more common than it actually is, due to the disproportionate attention these cases receive.

💡Pre-marital Counseling

Pre-marital counseling is presented as a potential solution to prevent divorce. The video suggests that open discussions and understanding between partners before marriage can help set realistic expectations and improve communication, which may reduce the likelihood of divorce.

💡Continuous Effort

Continuous effort in a marriage is highlighted as essential for its success. The video emphasizes that maintaining a marriage requires ongoing work, adaptation, and communication from both partners, which can help prevent divorce.

Highlights

Jayam Ravi's divorce sparks widespread discussions on the increasing prevalence of divorces in India.

The stigma surrounding divorce in India is diminishing, leading to more open discussions.

Empowerment of women is a key factor contributing to the rise in divorce rates as they now have the means to leave unhappy marriages.

Urbanization and high-stress lifestyles in cities are straining relationships and contributing to divorce.

Unrealistic expectations in marriages often lead to divorce when they are not met.

Increased legal awareness about divorce options is contributing to the rise in divorce rates.

Nuclearization of families means fewer support systems for couples, potentially leading to higher divorce rates.

Despite perceptions, the actual divorce rate in India is only about 1%.

The divorce rate in India has seen a significant increase from 0.1% to 1% over the past 70-80 years.

Projections suggest that by 2125, the divorce rate in India may reach 10%.

The US experienced high divorce rates in the 1980s and 2000s, but has seen a decrease in recent years.

Media and social media exposure of high-profile divorces create a perception that divorce is more common than it actually is.

Pre-marital counseling and open communication between partners can help prevent divorce.

Continuous effort and spending quality time together are essential for maintaining a healthy marriage.

Managing expectations and practicing mutual respect can help couples avoid divorce.

Conflict resolution and sharing responsibilities equally are crucial for a lasting marriage.

Honest communication is vital for resolving issues and maintaining a strong relationship.

Society should respect the privacy and decisions of individuals going through divorce, reflecting a more advanced societal mindset.

The video concludes by reassuring viewers that divorce rates, despite perceptions, are still low and not a cause for societal anxiety.

Transcripts

From this morning, at least once,

someone has probably started a conversation about Jayam Ravi's divorce.

Not only in Tamil Nadu but across India,

there's a growing sense that divorces are becoming more common.

Many people might be feeling this way.

I’ve felt that way too.

Whether it's a comment on Jayam Ravi's Twitter post...

or talking with friends,

Why are divorces happening more frequently now?

Is India going to see a rise in divorces?

Will more married couples follow the same path?

And when it comes to celebrities,

whether it's Jayam Ravi, Hardik Pandya,

or Samantha and Naga Chaitanya,

Conversations are bound to happen around them, right?

Today, we'll discuss some truths and harsh realities in this video.

This is a very serious topic.

I initially planned to make 2-3 videos on divorce.

But after reading these comments,

I felt compelled to share some important truths.

So, let's dive into it.

But before that,

if you want to stay updated on everything happening in society,

make sure to subscribe before you sleep.

Let's begin.

Have you joined in?

Hello everyone, I am Madan Gowri!

And hello to my dear MG Squad!

[Intro Music plays]

The first thing is...

Jayam Ravi got divorced after around 15 years of marriage.

He got married in 2009.

After 15 years, they decided to part ways.

They have two children together.

They didn't post on Instagram but shared a note on Twitter.

That note says:

"Life is like a journey with many chapters."

"Each chapter brings new opportunities and challenges."

"Many of you have followed my journey both on and off the screen."

Which means, people have seen him since the beginning of his movie "Jayam".

"You've also seen me get married and start a family."

"Because of your love, I want to be transparent with you."

"For some personal reasons, with a heavy heart, I want to share this update."

This means people have known him for a long time,

both personally and professionally.

With a heavy heart, he wants to share this update.

"After much thought, reflections and discussions,

I have taken the difficult decision

...to proceed with the dissolution of my marriage with Aarti."

"So please respect our privacy during this time."

"My priority remains to bring joy and entertainment

to my dearest audience."

"I am, and will always be, your Jayam Ravi."

"Thank you so much for your unwavering support and love."

"Please continue to support me."

This is a professionally well-written statement posted by actor Jayam Ravi.

This topic is generating significant discussion today.

As mentioned, Jayam Ravi's divorce is the subject of much talk.

Whether I'm traveling from home to the gym, or from the gym to the office,

or speaking with anyone on the phone,

this topic is being discussed everywhere.

As mentioned earlier, we all sense that this issue is becoming more common.

Even in the replies to the post, many people are discussing

whether it's Kollywood or "Divorcewood."

There's ongoing talk about the rise in divorces.

While researching the reasons behind this,

I identified six key factors.

I’ve identified six key reasons for the rise in divorces in India,

and I'll share that with you.

After that, I will present some statistics.

I will explain the current divorce rates in India.

By the end of this video, you'll be shocked.

The future implications are still surprising.

Whether you are married or single,

this video is relevant to you.

But first, why is divorce becoming more common in India?

According to an article from the Times of India, there are six key points.

Firstly, divorces...

About 70-80 years ago, at the beginning of India’s history...

there was significant fear surrounding divorce in India.

Today, divorce is more normalized and discussed openly.

The associated stigma is gradually diminishing.

Secondly, women are becoming more empowered.

For many years, women remained trapped in unhappy marriages.

They had no means to escape.

Now, women have the empowerment to leave if they are unhappy.

Thirdly, urbanization plays a significant role.

In cities like Chennai, Bangalore, Mumbai, and Delhi,

the high-stress lifestyle contributes to relationship strain.

The article refers to this as increased stress.

Fourth is high expectations.

Marriages often come with unrealistic expectations.

Divorce occurs when these expectations are unmet.

Fifth is the growing awareness of divorce options.

This legal awareness is increasing.

Sixth is the nuclearization of families.

Initially, families were joint, so no one was isolated.

If someone wanted to separate, others would try to pull them back,

even if they supported their decision.

Now, there is often no one around for support or connection.

In urban areas and cities,

couples who are isolated are more likely to experience divorce.

They have outlined six key points.

Following that, they have provided potential solutions.

But before we discuss that,

consider how many people in India might have divorced for these reasons.

Think about it.

How many people have moved to the city?

How many women are now earning?

How empowered are they?

There is legal awareness, urbanization, and increased stress.

Jayam Ravi is not the only case.

In our lives, whether in our friend circles

you might have heard conversations about divorce.

So, give me a number. Provide an honest estimate.

Just one number.

Share your estimate of the number of people who have divorced in India in the comments.

Be sincere. Did you type it?

This will show everyone your estimate.

Did you post it? Make sure it's accurate.

I will now provide the information.

In India,

If 100 people marry in India, estimate how many will divorce.

Actually, in India, if 100 people marry,

only about one couple, or 1%, might get divorced.

We often feel that everyone is getting divorced.

In India, the overall divorce rate is just 1%.

For this 1%,

it can feel like everyone around us is divorcing and marriages are failing.

If you're wondering whether divorces have increased in India, they have.

I asked ChatGPT to provide a graph for 100 years.

In 1920, divorce was almost unheard of.

The numbers were very minimal.

By 1940, when India gained independence,

the divorce rate was 0.1%.

After that in 2020,

It took almost 70-80 years for the divorce rate in India to grow from 0.1% to 1%.

However, after 2000, the divorce rate has seen a notable increase.

It reached 0.5% by the year 2000.

In the next 20 years, the divorce rate increased by another 0.5%.

Therefore, it has reached 1%.

What’s interesting is that I will project this further, okay?

Now, we have a 1% rate, and it is rising quickly, correct?

So, how will the divorce rate in India look in the next 100 years?

Many people are concerned like this about future, right?

The projection for 2125 is as follows:

Many viewers of this video may not be alive to see it.

We’re discussing future generations,

including our grandchildren and their children.

ChatGPT projected a 10% divorce rate in India for that generation.

based on current trends.

Consider this: In 2124,

after 100 years,

if 100 people marry in India, 10 of them may get divorced.

This 10% will be the projected trend for that time.

But why do we feel that so many people are divorcing now?

The answer to this question is...

I believe this is something we should consider.

If asked which country has the highest divorce rate,

we might say the US.

Interestingly, the US experienced a high divorce rate.

Do you know when? In the 1980s and 2000s.

During those years, divorce rates were very high.

The rate ranged from 45% to 50%.

For every two couples that married, one would divorce.

However, particularly in the last 20 years,

As India’s divorce rate increased from 0.5% to 1%,

The US has seen a decrease in its divorce rate.

It has dropped from 50% to 40%.

The trend is reversing.

Day by day, society is shifting towards marriage,

while the married society is shifting towards higher divorce rates.

It seems to be a cyclical pattern.

The divorce rate is increasing rapidly.

After reaching 50%, the divorce rate has been decreasing.

This is the trend in the US.

Therefore, our perceptions about divorce, both in India and the US, may be incorrect.

India's divorce rate might seem high, but it's not entirely accurate.

We might think everyone in the US is divorcing,

but they're actually focusing on strengthening families.

For me, this is a significant realization.

The data on divorce rates is surprising.

An important point is that

People wonder why, despite a 1% divorce rate, it feels higher.

Media!

especially social media, plays a role.

If you think about it, when we consider divorce,

I apologize for referencing specific names,

but we often recall their faces immediately.

Nowadays, well-known actors such as Dhanush and Aishwarya Rajnikanth,

Naga Chaitanya, and Samantha,

Because they are high-profile cases of divorce.

We often think of Jayam Ravi in this context.

The reality is that we are more familiar with them,

and social media repeatedly highlights their stories.

A few years ago, Kamal Haasan was divorced twice.

However, social media did not prominently feature his situation.

Today, social media frequently rebrands and highlights such cases.

This media exposure creates a perception of high-profile divorces.

Consider how many players are on the Indian cricket team.

Consider the number of divorced individuals in World Cup-winning teams.

Hardik Pandya's name does not immediately come to mind.

Even in this context, the percentage of divorces is low.

Among high-profile cases, how many people are getting married?

Out of 100 celebrities, 1-2 may get divorced.

With 1000 celebrities, around 10 may divorce.

Social media, however, repeatedly shows these cases.

It creates a lasting impact and perception.

While the number of divorces may seem high, it is still only 1%.

When I came here, I surveyed my office.

Many of them said 40-50%.

But when you consider it, the 1% and the 40-50% we perceive.

Anyway,

Divorce is not something to be celebrated.

Everyone has their own path and journey.

So, can a person experience divorce before entering a marriage? Yes, it is possible.

And if you're wondering how a person in a marriage can avoid divorce,

There are 8 steps outlined for this.

The article details 8 steps on how to avoid divorce.

I will share these steps with you.

First one, "Pre-marital counseling"

Before getting married,

whether it's a love or arranged marriage, whatever the case may be,

both partners should discuss openly.

Discuss your life expectations.

Share your identity, hobbies, and lifestyle.

If both partners communicate openly,

with complete transparency,

they will understand each other better.

They will have a clear understanding of one another.

Many people believe this openness is often missing in Indian marriages.

The second step is continuous effort.

Simply saying all these and getting married is not enough.

Over time, your mindset, hobbies, and preferences may change.

People change, and we also change significantly throughout our lives.

Therefore, continuous effort is essential.

Partners should continuously share their expectations.

Thirdly, spending quality time together

To be exact, have more date nights.

In our country, once married and with children,

How many times have we heard our parents talk about dates?

People often view that as a Western concept.

People should normalize the idea that couples need time alone together.

Indian parents often prioritize their child's well-being over their own.

It's good, but they need to prioritize separate time for themselves.

First, normalize prioritizing time for both the wife and the husband.

They should prioritize spending quality time together.

Fourthly, managing expectations is crucial.

If you have high expectations, ensure they are realistic.

Both partners should manage their expectations effectively.

Mutual respect is also essential.

Both partners must respect each other.

Conflict resolution is important.

No one is perfect. Even with these practices, conflicts will arise.

It's important to resolve conflicts without ego.

Share responsibilities equally.

Divide household and personal duties fairly.

Lastly, honest communication is vital.

Many couples do not communicate openly.

They might share with friends or family but not with each other.

Ego often magnifies even small problems.

Honest communication can often resolve most issues.

So, these are the 8 points.

I wanted to share them with you.

Celebrities, many people offer advice to them.

They have counseling and therapies,

and come from prominent families.

Even after trying all these,

if they choose to divorce after 15 years,

as viewers and listeners,

they don't owe us an explanation,

but we should respect their space and privacy.

We don't need to celebrate or support them,

We should understand their situation and give them the respect and space they need.

This would show that we are a more advanced society.

As I conclude this video, I need to reassure one thing.

Many will exaggerate the issue of divorce.

divorce rates in India are at 1%.

Even in 100 years, with current trends, it might reach only 10%.

But we don't need to feel anxious about those predicted percentages.

I say this because many claim the divorce rate is rising,

so I checked and shared the facts.

Another important thing is,

The reason I share this is that many people lose hope in marriage.

Don't lose hope like that.

The last important thing is...

Don't view divorce as something distant or taboo

...it's a normal part of our society.

Divorced people, especially women,

Only then can they return to a normal life.

Most of the time,

it's pushed aside as a stigma, causing fear in individuals and society alike.

I'll repeat:

Instead of focusing on the divorce of our friends, relatives, or even our children,

Only the two individuals involved think the most about divorce.

When both have tried everything and reach this decision,

The best we can do as a society is to let them live their lives

That’s all I wanted to convey in this video.

As you listen, you’ll know who to share this video with,

so go ahead and do it!

I’ll see you in the next video tomorrow!

Love you all. Bye, take care!