Social Media Corrupts Human Interactions | Cherry Healey | Part 5 of 6

OxfordUnion

21 Feb 201711:48

Summary

TLDRCherry Healing, a mother of two, candidly discusses the impact of social media on personal value and human interaction. She humorously admits to being swayed by follower counts and shares her struggle with feeling left out, leading to a decision to leave Facebook. Healing emphasizes the importance of being present, especially with children, and the challenges posed by the constant need for social media validation. She calls for a more mindful approach to using technology, to ensure it enhances rather than corrupts our connections and to model this for the next generation.

Takeaways

😀 The speaker, Cherry Healing, is a mother of two children, Bear and Coco, and admits to being influenced by social media numbers.
🤔 Cherry discusses the struggle with social media, feeling unvaluable and disconnected from others, and her decision to leave Facebook.
📱 She acknowledges the positive aspects of social media, such as providing connection during lonely times, but also recognizes its addictive nature.
👀 Cherry emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment, which is difficult due to the constant pull of social media and technology.
👨‍👧‍👦 As a parent, Cherry is concerned about the impact of her social media habits on her children and the example she sets for them.
🚫 She highlights the need for setting boundaries with technology, as it can corrupt human interaction and lead to impatience and disconnection.
💬 Cherry mentions the internet as a lifeline for some, but stresses the importance of controlling its influence to ensure it doesn't overshadow real-life experiences.
📝 The speaker calls for a demonstration of self-soothing and being with oneself, as a way to model healthy behavior for children.
🔍 Cherry sought opinions from the internet about the impact of technology on human interaction, and the responses indicated a general consensus that it has corrupted interaction.
💔 She shares anecdotes from people who feel they have wasted time scrolling and wish they could give that time back to their children.
🌐 Lastly, Cherry Healing concludes with the idea that while the internet can be beneficial, it's crucial to manage its role in our lives to maintain genuine human connections.

Q & A

Who is Cherry Healing and what is her profession?
-Cherry Healing is a 36-year-old mother of two children, Bear and Coco. The script does not explicitly state her profession, but it is implied that she is a social media influencer with a significant following on platforms like Instagram and Facebook.
What is Cherry Healing's perspective on social media numbers?
-Cherry Healing admits to being impressed by social media numbers, even though she is not proud of it. She finds it vexing and wishes she was stronger and a better person for not being swayed by such metrics.
Why did Cherry Healing decide to leave Facebook?
-Cherry Healing felt unvaluable and discontent after seeing her friends' posts on Facebook, which made her feel left out and isolated. To avoid missing out on her daughter's life, she decided to leave Facebook.
What was Cherry's experience after leaving Facebook?
-After leaving Facebook, Cherry experienced a terrifying moment of uncertainty, but she found out that her life continued as normal. Her best friend still called her, and they continued to enjoy social activities like having margaritas and nachos on Friday nights.
How does Cherry describe the impact of social media on her life as a mother?
-Cherry describes social media as a lifeline, especially during the lonely hours of breastfeeding at odd hours. It connects her to the world and makes her feel less alone.
What does Cherry Healing find challenging about being present in the moment?
-Cherry Healing finds it difficult to be present in the moment because of the constant pull of social media for quick hits of interest and excitement. This makes her impatient and less engaged with her children and others around her.
What is Cherry's opinion on the importance of being present for her children?
-Cherry believes that being present is critically important for her children. She acknowledges that her children learn from her and that she needs to demonstrate the value of being present and not constantly distracted by technology.
How does Cherry view the impact of social media on human interaction?
-Cherry views social media as having a corrupting influence on human interaction. It has led to a need for creating boundaries and policing behavior, which she sees as a sign of its negative impact.
What did the internet users tell Cherry about the impact of social media on human interaction?
-The internet users Cherry asked confirmed her belief that social media has corrupted human interaction. Some shared stories of becoming impatient, wasting time, and feeling the need to limit their social media use.
What does Cherry want for her daughter in terms of dealing with solitude?
-Cherry wants her daughter to be able to be with herself, to experience silence, and to learn self-soothing. She does not want her daughter to constantly run away from herself and seeks to model this behavior for her.
How does Cherry feel about the societal changes brought about by the internet and social media?
-Cherry feels that the internet and social media have led to a loss of certain human interactions, such as handwritten letters and face-to-face arguments. She believes that while it can be a lifeline for some, it is important to control its influence on our lives.

Outlines

00:00

🤳 Social Media's Impact on Self-Worth

Cherry Healing, a 36-year-old mother of two, opens up about her struggle with social media's influence on her self-esteem. She humorously introduces herself and her family, then candidly admits to feeling unimportant and uncool when comparing her life to the seemingly perfect lives of her friends on Facebook. Despite having a fulfilling life, she experiences a sense of isolation and depression. In an effort to not miss out on her children's lives, she makes the bold move of leaving Facebook, which she describes as a terrifying yet ultimately positive experience. She acknowledges her love for the internet and social networking, but also recognizes the need to separate from the negative impacts of social media.

05:01

🌐 The Internet as a Lifeline and Distraction

Cherry discusses the double-edged sword of the internet, highlighting its role as a lifeline for those who are isolated, such as new mothers or those who are ill. However, she also points out the downsides of constant connectivity, such as the difficulty of being truly present in the moment due to the constant pull of social media. She talks about the addictive nature of these platforms and how they can disrupt genuine human interaction, leading to impatience and a lack of depth in conversations. Cherry admits her own struggles with being present with her children and the impact it has on them, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and being mindful of how technology affects our relationships.

10:02

🔒 Regaining Control Over Technology

In the final paragraph, Cherry emphasizes the need to take control of our relationship with technology, especially for the sake of our children. She stresses the importance of teaching kids to be comfortable with silence and introspection, as this ability to be with oneself is crucial for emotional health. Cherry acknowledges the challenges of this endeavor, admitting her own temptation to check her phone. She calls for a demonstration of self-soothing and mindfulness as a way to model healthy behavior for the next generation, aiming to counteract the tendency to escape from oneself through constant digital stimulation.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Social Media

Social media refers to platforms that allow users to create and share content or participate in social networking. In the video, Cherry Healing discusses the impact of social media on her self-esteem and the way it can make people feel left out or uncool when comparing their lives to the curated highlights of others on these platforms.

💡Presence

Presence in the context of the video refers to being fully engaged and attentive in the current moment, rather than being distracted by technology or other thoughts. Cherry emphasizes the importance of presence, especially in interactions with children, as it is critical for building meaningful connections and for children's emotional development.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with the brain's reward system. Cherry Healing talks about the addictive nature of social media, likening the 'hit of dopamine' received from likes and comments to a powerful, hard-to-break addiction, which affects our ability to be present and engaged in real life.

💡Isolation

Isolation is the state of being alone or separated from others. Cherry describes feeling isolated despite being physically close to her child, highlighting how social media can create a sense of loneliness even when one is surrounded by people or in the company of loved ones.

💡Disconnect

Disconnect refers to a lack of connection or communication. The video script mentions the disconnection that can occur between people due to the prevalence of social media and technology, which can overshadow face-to-face interactions and genuine human connection.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the value or confidence one has in oneself. Cherry Healing shares her struggle with self-esteem, particularly in relation to how she perceives herself in comparison to others on social media, and how this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression.

💡Parenting

Parenting encompasses the practices and attitudes employed by parents in raising children. Cherry discusses the influence of social media on parenting, including the example of being on her phone while her children watch TV, and the need for parents to model good behavior and presence for their children.

💡Addiction

Addiction is a condition where a person engages in a behavior, such as using social media, despite its negative consequences. The script mentions that the addictive nature of social media can be more challenging to overcome than addiction to substances like alcohol and cigarettes.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity refers to the quality of being genuine or true to oneself. Cherry Healing criticizes social media for promoting a 'manufactured life parade' where people present idealized versions of their lives, which can be inauthentic and harmful to self-perception and well-being.

💡Self-Soothing

Self-soothing is the ability to calm oneself without external assistance. Cherry Healing emphasizes the importance of teaching children to be comfortable with silence and introspection, which involves self-soothing and is a skill that can help them deal with difficult emotions without relying on external stimuli.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries refer to the limits or rules that a person sets for themselves to maintain balance and control in their life. The script discusses the need for setting boundaries with technology and social media to prevent them from corrupting human interaction and to ensure that they do not dominate our lives.

Highlights

Cherry Healing, a mother of two, discusses the impact of social media on personal value and presence.

Cherry admits to being impressed by social media follower counts, despite not being proud of it.

She humorously describes her life and family, including her children named Bear and Coco, and her cats, Party Time and Ruby.

Cherry shares her experience of feeling isolated and uncool after seeing friends' social media posts.

In 2013, after the birth of her second child, she felt disconnected from her social media friends.

Cherry's decision to leave Facebook to avoid missing out on her daughter's life.

The fear and relief experienced when disconnecting from social media.

Cherry's appreciation for the internet and social networking, especially during late-night breastfeeding sessions.

The struggle with being present in the moment due to the constant pull of social media.

Cherry calls for a need to be more present with each other and with our children.

She acknowledges the addictive nature of social media, comparing it to substances harder to break than alcohol and cigarettes.

Cherry asks the internet about its impact on human interaction and receives mixed responses.

The internet suggests that social media has corrupted human interaction, making people impatient and disconnected.

Cherry emphasizes the importance of teaching children to be with themselves and not constantly seek external stimulation.

The need for boundaries and self-policing behavior in the digital age.

Cherry's personal challenge to model being present for her children and to limit her own phone use.

The speech concludes with a call to action for controlling our digital habits to foster healthier human connections.