Why Discipline Must Come From Within - Jocko Willink

Summary

In this podcast transcript, the speaker addresses a listener's concern about lacking discipline due to being raised in an undisciplined environment. The speaker emphasizes that discipline is an internal quality that one must develop independently, regardless of upbringing. They stress the importance of taking ownership of one's actions and decisions, and highlight that discipline is a choice that leads to freedom and improved life outcomes. The discussion encourages self-reflection and personal responsibility for change.

Takeaways

• 👶 The speaker acknowledges the challenge of developing discipline when raised in an undisciplined environment but emphasizes that discipline must come from within oneself, not from external sources.
• 🔑 The concept of self-discipline is highlighted as crucial, suggesting that discipline is not inherited or taught by others but must be actively developed by the individual.
• 👨‍👧‍👦 The speaker admits to not discussing the issue of coming from an undisciplined family before, but clarifies that discipline is a personal choice and not something bestowed by family or environment.
• 🤔 The importance of taking ownership of one's problems is stressed, as blaming others for a lack of discipline will not lead to its development.
• 💪 The speaker encourages the listener to take action, suggesting that discipline is about doing the things one knows are necessary for personal growth and avoiding those that are detrimental.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Personal anecdotes are shared to illustrate that discipline is not about external factors like military service or parental influence but about individual choice and commitment.
• 👫 The speaker points out that discipline is not exclusive to any particular background, as people from all walks of life can develop it through their own efforts.
• 🚫 The script warns against relying on others for discipline, as it must be self-imposed and maintained.
• 🌅 The idea of 'getting after it' is presented as the essence of discipline, urging the listener to start their day with purposeful actions that align with their goals.
• 📝 The value of making a list of tasks and responsibilities is mentioned as a practical tool for maintaining discipline and staying focused on one's objectives.
• 🏆 The speaker concludes by reiterating that discipline brings freedom and is worth the effort, urging the listener to recognize its value and take the necessary steps to develop it.

Q & A

What is the main issue the user is addressing in the podcast?

The user is addressing the issue of lacking discipline due to being raised in an undisciplined environment and the struggle to develop self-discipline.

Why does the speaker believe that discipline cannot be inherited or taught by others?

The speaker believes that discipline is something intrinsic and must come from within the individual, as it is about self-discipline and personal ownership of one's actions.

What does the speaker suggest is the key to developing discipline?

The speaker suggests that the key to developing discipline is taking personal responsibility and ownership of one's actions, rather than blaming external factors or people.

How does the speaker describe the relationship between discipline and freedom?

The speaker describes discipline as the path to freedom, implying that by being disciplined, one can achieve a sense of control and autonomy in their life.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate the point that discipline is a personal choice?

The speaker gives the example of people from various backgrounds, including those with no parents, drug-addicted parents, or very disciplined parents, who have all become disciplined individuals, showing that discipline is a personal choice.

What does the speaker mean by 'mana' in the context of the podcast?

In the context of the podcast, 'mana' refers to the idea of offering only words without action or substance, similar to how the speaker feels about advice that is obvious but not practical.

How does the speaker's own upbringing relate to the discussion on discipline?

The speaker's own upbringing, with parents who were educators but not extraordinary preachers of discipline, serves as an example that discipline is not necessarily taught by parents and must be developed by the individual.

What is the speaker's view on the role of the military in developing discipline?

The speaker believes that while the military requires discipline, being in the military does not automatically make a person disciplined, and maintaining discipline is up to the individual even after leaving the military.

What advice does the speaker give to someone struggling with discipline?

The speaker advises to 'get after it,' meaning to take action, wake up early, exercise, eat well, and make a list of things one is supposed to do in life, then commit to doing them.

How does the speaker address the concern about the value of discipline?

The speaker addresses the concern by emphasizing that once a person recognizes the value of discipline and how it can improve their life, they are more likely to develop the discipline they seek.

What does the speaker suggest as a strategy for overcoming the lack of discipline learned in childhood?

The speaker suggests that an individual should actively seek out the value of discipline, perhaps through experiences or education, and then make a conscious decision to adopt disciplined behaviors.

Outlines

00:00

🚸 Overcoming Undisciplined Upbringing

The speaker acknowledges the challenge of developing self-discipline when coming from an undisciplined family environment. They emphasize that discipline is not inherited but must be cultivated internally. The speaker apologizes for not previously addressing this issue and explains that discipline comes from within, regardless of one's background. They also stress the importance of taking ownership of one's problems rather than blaming others, including parents or society, for a lack of discipline.

05:04

🏋️‍♂️ Discipline is a Personal Choice

This paragraph discusses the misconception that discipline is solely a product of one's upbringing or environment. The speaker argues that discipline is a personal choice and is not guaranteed by external factors such as military service or family background. They advocate for self-motivation and taking action to develop discipline, suggesting practical steps like getting up early, exercising, and making a list of tasks to improve one's life. The speaker also highlights the importance of recognizing the value of discipline and making a conscious decision to pursue it.

10:06

💡 Realizing the Value of Discipline

The speaker delves into the concept that understanding the value of discipline is key to its development. They use personal anecdotes and examples to illustrate that discipline is not necessarily taught but can be learned and adopted based on recognizing its benefits. They discuss how people from various backgrounds can develop discipline and how it is essential to take responsibility for one's actions and decisions. The speaker encourages the listener to reflect on the worth of discipline and to take steps towards self-improvement.

15:07

🛠️ Taking Responsibility for Self-Discipline

In this paragraph, the speaker stresses the importance of personal responsibility in developing discipline. They argue that one must take charge of their life and make the decision to be disciplined. The speaker provides examples of how people can seek help when needed but ultimately must be the ones to implement changes. They encourage the listener to take action, whether it's repairing credit, seeking counseling, or making healthier lifestyle choices, and to understand that discipline is a personal journey that requires commitment and effort.

Keywords

💡Discipline

Discipline refers to the practice of training oneself to follow a pattern of rules or a specific way of behaving. In the video's context, it is the ability to control one's actions and emotions and to prioritize long-term goals over short-term gratification. The speaker emphasizes that discipline is not inherited from parents or acquired externally but is something one must develop internally, as illustrated by the statement 'you have to get it from you.'

💡Undisciplined Environment

An undisciplined environment is one where there are no strict rules or guidelines for behavior, often leading to a lack of structure or order. The script discusses the challenges of developing discipline when raised in such an environment, suggesting that despite the lack of external structure, individuals can still cultivate self-discipline.

💡Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is the act of controlling one's own behavior, emotions, and impulses in order to achieve goals. The video's theme revolves around the idea that self-discipline is a personal responsibility and is essential for personal growth. The speaker uses the term to highlight that discipline must come from within, as in 'that's what self-discipline is, you get it from yourself.'

💡Ownership

Ownership, in this context, means taking responsibility for one's actions and their consequences. The speaker argues that blaming others, such as parents or society, for a lack of discipline is unproductive. Instead, individuals must take ownership of their problems and actively work to solve them, as exemplified by 'if you want to blame other people for the problem... the problems don't get solved.'

💡Blame

Blame is the act of attributing responsibility or fault for an action or event. The script discusses the negative impact of blaming others for one's lack of discipline, suggesting that it prevents personal growth and problem-solving. The speaker points out that blaming parents or external factors does not lead to a solution, as in 'as long as you're blaming other people... you will not have [discipline].'

💡Freedom

Freedom, in the context of the video, is associated with the liberation that comes from self-discipline. It suggests that by taking control of one's actions and decisions, an individual gains the freedom to shape their life according to their goals and values. The speaker mentions that discipline is 'the key word' and that it is 'worth it' because it leads to freedom.

💡Mana

In the script, 'mana' seems to be used metaphorically to represent simplistic or superficial advice that lacks depth. The speaker criticizes the approach of offering only words or easy solutions without understanding the complexity of the struggle, as indicated by 'offer only the words mana.'

💡Value

Value, in this context, refers to the worth or importance that an individual assigns to something, such as discipline or working out. The speaker discusses the importance of recognizing and appreciating the value of discipline, as it motivates one to take action. For example, the speaker uses the term when discussing how people might not understand the value of working out if they were not taught its importance growing up.

💡Struggle

Struggle denotes the difficulty or conflict one experiences when trying to achieve a goal or overcome an obstacle. The video acknowledges the frustration and struggle of trying to become disciplined when one's environment does not support it. The speaker empathizes with the individual's struggle and addresses the need for self-reliance in overcoming it.

💡Environment

Environment here refers to the surroundings or conditions in which an individual is raised or lives. The script explores how different environments, whether they are disciplined or undisciplined, can influence but do not determine an individual's level of discipline. The speaker uses personal examples to illustrate that discipline is not solely a product of one's environment.

💡Get After It

The phrase 'get after it' is used to encourage taking action and making an effort to achieve one's goals. In the video, it is associated with the proactive steps one must take to develop discipline, such as getting up early, working out, and following through on a list of tasks. The speaker uses this phrase to motivate the listener to take control and actively pursue discipline.

Highlights

The importance of self-discipline and the acknowledgment of its absence in some upbringings.

An apology for not previously addressing the issue of coming from an undisciplined family background.

The concept that discipline must come from within and not be reliant on external influences.

The idea that ownership of one's problems is crucial for solving them and developing discipline.

Examples of individuals from various backgrounds who have achieved discipline despite their upbringing.

The speaker's personal experience with discipline, or lack thereof, in his own family.

Contrasting examples of families with disciplined parents and undisciplined children, and vice versa.

The assertion that discipline is not inherited and must be actively chosen by the individual.

The role of the military in fostering discipline and the potential loss of it post-service.

The advice to 'get after it' as a call to action for developing discipline in one's life.

The necessity of doing what one knows is supposed to be done to improve life and avoid detrimental behaviors.

The value of discipline and how it can lead to freedom and a better life.

The significance of recognizing the value of discipline and the need to internalize it for it to be effective.

The discussion on the development of discipline being a personal decision and not dependent on one's environment.

The importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and seeking help when necessary.

The realization that discipline is worth the effort and the need to act on that realization.

The analogy of credit repair as an example of taking responsibility and understanding the value of a disciplined approach.

Transcripts

I saw a weakness in you on your latest podcast you seem to overlook the fact

that some infant children were raised in undisciplined environments with

undisciplined parents they grow up having modeled these undisciplined

examples I hate the fact that I have gross undisciplined behavior solving

this is a major priority in my life you have zero idea of what it of what

this experience is like for me you seem blind to this struggle like a

father who would ignore their child struggle and offer only the words mana

so this is a good question and I I see where this guys coming from for sure and

I know that it can be very very frustrating to try and become

disciplined and I apologize that I haven't talked about the fact of what to

do if you come from an undisciplined family or you have undisciplined parents

I haven't really talked about what to do in that situation but there's a reason

that I haven't talked about that before and that is because you don't get

discipline from your parents you don't get discipline from your parents from

your grandparents from your older brothers and sisters you don't get

discipline from an external source you have to get it from you

that's what self-discipline is you get it from yourself you get it from you so

there's people from every possible background from no parents to crazy

parents to you no drug-addicted parents to super squared away parents and

everywhere in between on that spectrum that are completely disciplined people

more disciplined than anyone I know it doesn't come from your parents you don't

inherit it and there's another piece here

it's called ownership right it's called ownership and if you're if you want to

blame other people for the problem and say this all the time if you don't take

ownership of the problem the problems don't get solved so if you blame your

parents for not having raised you in a disciplined environment you're not gonna

solve that problem you're looking at your parents saying if you would have

done a better job being more disciplined for me I would be more discipline now so

that means that means you can't do anything the fact the matter is it's

wrong you actually can do something and it doesn't matter what do how your

parents raised you and brought you up you can have the discipline you need to

decide to do it so as long as you're blaming other people I mean if you blame

me from not discussing it you blame me for having zero idea what that

experience is like you blame your parents for not raising you this way as

long as you're blaming other people as long as you're counting on other people

to give you discipline as long as you do that you will not have it so again I I'm

sorry I should have made that I should make that more clearly I'm trying to

make it more clearly now and like my parents my parents are are good people

they had successful careers as as educators in public schools and my mom

eventually became went into school administration and my dad taught in high

school for 30-something years and they were good hard-working people and but

I'll tell you they were no they were no extraordinary preachers of discipline

and I'll tell you I act I I never remember either one of them ever using

the term or referring to discipline in any way you know and actually both my

parents worked they both worked a lot my dad was coaching sports and we're

doing after school stuff my mom's same things like we were on our own a bunch

but my parents were gone in the morning we got ourselves to school when we got

home in afternoon they weren't home you know so it wasn't like they were setting

up this rigid disciplined manner for me right and

and you can see this with families many many different families there's families

that have kids that the parents are very disciplined and the kids are wild

mm-hm sometimes that problematically so right kids that come from really good

families but they get addicted to drugs lack of discipline kids that come from

really good families but they they spin out of control and go in the wrong

direction and there's also the opposite which is hey the parents weren't around

or the parents were abusive or the parents were drug addicts and and all

the cousins the kid the kid comes out of that and is squared away is awesome and

we saw that all the time the SEAL Teams and I've said that before on this

program doesn't matter it doesn't matter where your background is is what you

decide to do yeah

and I'll tell you another thing it's not even from the military like the military

requires discipline obviously but there's plenty of people in the military

that don't have it right and and many poor many people lose their discipline

when they leave the mulch because not being imposed on them anymore so I mean

just go look around I mean being in the military does not make you a disciplined

person being from a discipline family does not make you a discipline person

being in a discipline group does not make you a discipline person what makes

you a discipline person is choosing to be disciplined so yeah I I and also as

far as telling people to man up which you know when someone says how do I get

up early every day I say get up early every day how do I stop eating sugar

stop eating sugar look that's the definition of mana but obvious it's not

just men that need discipline in their life I don't think I use that term but

what I do tell people is to get after it that's what I tell people to get after

it you know I tell people to do the things that they know they're supposed

to do right there's things that you know you're supposed to do as a human being

things that you know are going to improve your life do those things

there's things that you know are gonna make you a worse person and make your

life worse don't do those things

do the things that are making you weaker start doing the things that are gonna

make you stronger and smarter and faster and healthier and gonna make you a

better human being and I'll say the same thing to this guy you want to be more

disciplined get after it that's it get up early do some kind of

workout eat good foods clean your room make a list of things that you're

supposed to do in your life and then wake up in the morning and do those

things that you put on the list that's what discipline is and know it is

not easy but you're not gonna get it from anyone else but you and it's worth

it and it is the thing that is going to bring you freedom that's the key word

right there when he said it's worth it you know what I think this is what I

think I think like in an environment as like how he put it an undisciplined

environment I mean or something like that where he grew up in an

undisciplined environment I don't obviously that's a very vague expression

right undisciplined infirm yeah that got meaning that could mean a lot of yeah a

lot of different things so a lot of times like when you're brought up in a

certain environment basically you're kind of taught or or not taught like

like the value of certain things so if you use like I don't know working out or

whatever right so I'm gonna use myself as an example my dad is an athlete you

know not a superior athlete but he was you know he knew like working out was a

part of life and stuff like that and you know in elementary school we're doing

sports and stuff like that you know some people they don't do that at all so and

when they grow up into adulthood the some people straight up have never

worked out before never been in the gym and you know so growing up there they

were never taught the value of what work you know does for you they never taught

so they can't appreciate it they just simply don't know the value sure they

see people with you know you know they're in shape where they can do these

things and they're very functional whatever they see that of course but

they don't have that value they don't feel that value they just never learned

so it can come off as like this thing for other people you know like oh that's

what other people do kind of thing so they don't understand the value so back

to the point in their mind this weird the connection is not made that it's

worth it because they don't know the value of it

really but if you do know the value of it and then you can decide okay is this

worth it is it worth it to wake up every day and in quote-unquote get after it

for this particular goal or this particular set of goals so that's what

it is and I think sure the undisciplined environment can maybe provide that but I

think you're right I think that once you're like oh yeah that's worth it yeah

you know how people they'll find reasons when it's worth the even though they've

never experienced like you know like a person who has a heart attack or

something is like and they have kids young kids are some they have a heart

attack life maybe never worked out ever in their life they have a heart attack

they almost died they're like guess what I'm working out every single day I'm a

vegetarian now you know like doing major major changes that they've never even

thought about making and they'll do it because they decided it's worth it and

they'll be disciplined they'll find that discipline real quick no matter how

they're trained as you know their environment in there because now I see

that it's gonna be worth it that's it yeah and if if it's not worth it to you

and that I think is what you develop the value of work you know the value of you

develop you can develop that from anywhere that's one of that's but

essentially that has really developed that from any any you can develop that

from from anywhere yeah yeah you can get it from a parent you can get it from

yeah exactly right exactly right but the discipline itself just like I said

that's gonna come from you your parents can teach it but guess who has to you

still you it's still you and you can go to the military to specifically learn

discipline when you leave it's on you who's it yeah exactly right and just

like I said like yeah I know people who are done with the military and are glad

they're done with that right they're glad with this waking up early they're

they're a baby they were six months they're out of shape they're not doing

anything productive it's it's horrible to see you know but it happens happens

with the military it happens with anything yeah when kids get out of high

school sports you know and all of a sudden they don't want enough to do that

I don't have to listen to coach yeah yeah crazy - don't listen to coach

listen to yourself yourself yeah determine whether or not it's worth it

and I'm telling you that you don't need to determine I'm telling you it's worth

it oh yeah I'm telling you it is working and you know what you actually know it's

worth it that's why you're asking this question you know it's worth it you know

it's worth it to have discipline but you think there's an easier way you think

that it's something that people have you think that when Jacko's alarm clock goes

off it's like oh just like my father taught me

I rise and I shine you know like no I it's like the pillow feels soft and

comfortable and the alarm clock is banging on my head and I don't like it

you know what I know it's worth it to get up and get after it I know it's

worth it and you know it's worth it here's the thing though we all know it's

worth it is it in a way you're right but like really though really I'm gonna be

open and honest with you I don't think that the people know it's worth it I

think they know it's worth it like the kind on paper they have a multiple

choice question is it worth it yes or no they'll be like yes obviously I know

working out is worth it but here's the thing

I don't if you don't know if you don't like like having good credit for example

so I never got taught like why really my mom said yeah you should have good

credit that's it that's the limit to my education on credit right so of course I

blow it because they get you know I fall for literally all the tricks it's

self-inflicted and otherwise credit gets jammed up so I don't know I don't know

the value I don't know I have never experienced the benefits of having good

girl you of good credit so it really didn't mean much to me really my credit

was like junk and I didn't care until I got denied for something that I cared

you know but just like if you're never into working out until you're in a

specific situation what show but but but like this guy that's asking this

question and glad he's asking a question I'm I'm not I'm trying I'm not trying to

come off all hard but he realizes he realizes the value of discipline cuz

he's saying that he wants it right he knows that it's gonna make his life

better yeah and and that's why I think he's got

and jammed up in whatever way we don't know cuz I don't know maybe he's gotten

unhealthy maybe he's you know who knows maybe he's gotten his finances jammed up

whatever the case may be he knows that discipline is better for

them him he knows that he does know this isn't a guy that doesn't know yet cuz

sure there's people that don't you know when you're 16 years old you don't know

the value of discipline you don't know that the what your the way you're acting

right now is gonna affect you in five years you don't know you can set

yourself your whole life up to be pretty awesome you know you don't know that yet

you're just like worried about where you're going on a Friday night right

yeah so this guy knows and he wants it and he's looking for where he can find

it and where he can find it is in the mirror yeah that's where it is you know

so do it brother good luck get on the path and stay on the path

yeah and that's gonna be beneficial when you do that I've harshly maintaining

that like not knowing that value is a big is a big thing it's kind of like

okay so back to my credit thing I there is a point at the end where okay so you

know like I don't know 10 years ago or whatever I repaired my credit my credit

was repaired I thought I went through it was painstaking not fun stuff no but I

did it got my credit repaired and now I know the value because as an adult I'm

functioning it's useful now you know so now I know the value of having good

credit because I've been through all the things that having good credit

brings you through you know now I'm thinking I'll never go back to bedrock

right never it's right every single day I'm telling you that I agree with what

you're saying yeah I agree with her you're saying I'm saying that this guy

knows the value and that's why he wants it yeah it's like when you freight

realize that you got denied for something and you were like oh oh credit

has value I understand that something happened in his life where he said

discipline has value I know that now yeah but you did credit repair and in

what you said was okay I need to go out and repair my credit you didn't say hey

you know what my mom didn't tell me about bad credit and now I have bad

credit yeah yeah so now now what am I supposed to do you know who repaired

your credit who repaired your credit well it was a combination of my wife and

I but but who repaired your credit yeah we'd

yes yeah you took responsibility for it and said okay I'm gonna get my credit

card she's smarter than you yes she was like hey I will I will help this but it

was you that said okay I got to get this fixed mm-hmm and you got help but you

knew to reach out for help but you're the one that ultimately is responsible

for it yeah you're right about that like I didn't like I didn't blame my parents

and then continue having that good right no right like they said no I gotta get

Val this is this thing has credit has value I need to fix it yeah and you

fixed it you know regardless where it came from

regardless so oh you know oh you don't know how to work out cool then you go

hire a personal trainer because you know it's gonna it's the right thing to do

you don't even oh you don't know how to repair your finances cool go get a

counselor that's gonna help you repair your finances oh you're addicted to

drugs or alcohol okay I'm gonna go find a counselor or join a group so I can get

through that thing yeah no one's gonna hold your hand and bring you into the

any of those situations you got to do it yourself you got the discipline to make

it happen