Should We Respect Our Parents ? | A Pain Relieving Video

Summary

In this thought-provoking video, the speaker challenges the traditional notion of respect towards parents, advocating instead for genuine love and affection. They argue that the current definition of respect, often tied to obedience and formality, can create a barrier between children and parents. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace love over respect, to communicate openly, and to build stronger, more supportive relationships with their parents, especially in the new year.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The primary message is that while respect for parents is important, love and genuine affection should be prioritized in the parent-child relationship.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 The script suggests that the traditional concept of respect may be too rigid and may prevent open communication between parents and children.
• 📚 It is implied that respect should not be forced or demanded, but rather it should be a natural outcome of a loving relationship.
• 💬 The speaker encourages parents to be open to dialogue and not to expect blind obedience as a sign of respect.
• 👶 The video emphasizes that children inherently respect their parents, but societal and parental expectations may hinder the expression of this respect.
• 🤔 The script questions the definition of respect in the context of the modern world, suggesting that it may not be fulfilled in the traditional sense.
• 👵👴 It highlights the loneliness that older parents may feel and the importance for children to become friends and confidants to them.
• 🔄 The speaker argues that instead of seeking respect, parents and children should focus on building a relationship based on love and understanding.
• 👣 The script encourages introspection for both parents and children to understand why there may be a breakdown in communication and respect.
• 💆‍♂️ The importance of non-verbal expressions of love, such as massaging parents' feet, is suggested as a way to strengthen familial bonds.
• 🌱 The speaker ends with a hopeful note for the new year, encouraging a shift towards love and positivity within families.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is whether we should respect our parents and the importance of love over respect in the parent-child relationship.

What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to respect for parents?

The speaker suggests that instead of focusing on respect, children should focus on love and affection towards their parents.

Why does the speaker believe that the traditional definition of respecting parents is not fulfilling in today's times?

The speaker believes that the traditional definition of respecting parents, which includes following all their instructions and not questioning them, is not fulfilling because it does not allow for open communication and understanding of each other's perspectives.

What is the speaker's view on the relationship between respect and love in the context of parent-child relationships?

The speaker views respect as a default setting that is often superficial, while love is deeper and more meaningful. He argues that love should be the foundation of the parent-child relationship, as it allows for genuine connection and understanding.

Why does the speaker think that children might not be able to respect their parents in the traditional sense?

The speaker thinks that children might not be able to respect their parents in the traditional sense because the expectations are too rigid and do not allow for individuality or disagreement. This can lead to a lack of genuine communication and understanding.

What is the speaker's advice to parents regarding their relationship with their children?

The speaker advises parents to focus on love and affection rather than demanding respect. He suggests that parents should be open to listening to their children and understanding their perspectives, rather than insisting on obedience.

What is the speaker's opinion on the role of love in the parent-child relationship?

The speaker believes that love is crucial in the parent-child relationship. He emphasizes that love should be the primary focus, as it fosters a deeper connection and allows for open communication and understanding.

What are some practical ways the speaker suggests to show love to parents?

The speaker suggests practical ways such as massaging the parents' feet daily, spending time with them, and having open and honest conversations about life experiences and feelings.

How does the speaker address the issue of children being rude or impolite to their parents?

The speaker addresses the issue by suggesting that parents should introspect and understand why their children might be acting rudely. He also emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding, rather than just demanding respect.

What is the speaker's view on the traditional expectations of children towards their parents?

The speaker criticizes traditional expectations that demand children to follow all instructions from their parents without question. He argues that such expectations can stifle genuine communication and understanding, and instead, parents and children should focus on building a relationship based on love and mutual respect.

What is the speaker's message for the new year regarding the parent-child relationship?

The speaker's message for the new year is for parents and children to focus on love and affection rather than just respect. He encourages parents to communicate their need for love and for children to reciprocate by showing genuine care and concern.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Complexity of Respecting Parents

The speaker introduces the topic of respecting parents, challenging the conventional notion that respect is a simple concept. They argue that in today's world, the traditional definition of respect may not be fully achievable or appropriate, suggesting that youngsters might find it difficult to adhere to all parental expectations. The speaker proposes that instead of focusing solely on respect, which can sometimes lead to formality and distance, we should prioritize love and genuine connection with our parents.

05:05

💭 Reevaluating Respect for Genuine Love

In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the idea that respect should not be the primary focus in the parent-child relationship. They suggest that the pressure to respect can lead to a lack of open communication and emotional distance. The speaker encourages parents to seek love and genuine affection from their children, rather than just adherence to societal norms of respect. They also address the potential reasons behind a child's rudeness or frustration, urging parents to introspect and consider whether their expectations are reasonable or if they are contributing to a lack of communication.

10:09

👵👴 The Importance of Love Over Forced Respect

Here, the speaker emphasizes the importance of love over the pursuit of respect, especially as parents age. They argue that respect is often given out of societal obligation rather than genuine feeling, and that true love and companionship are more valuable and fulfilling. The speaker advises children to show love through actions, such as massaging their parents' feet, which can provide both physical and emotional comfort. They also caution against treating parents with a formal respect that creates a barrier to genuine connection.

15:16

🌱 Cultivating Love and Positivity in 2023

In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes the discussion by encouraging a shift towards love and positivity in family relationships. They suggest that parents communicate their desire for love and companionship to their children, rather than an expectation of respect that may feel forced or unnatural. The speaker hopes that the new year will bring about a change in how families interact, with an emphasis on open communication, love, and support, rather than adherence to traditional norms that may not foster true connection.

Keywords

💡Respect

Respect in this context refers to the consideration and reverence given to one's parents, which is traditionally seen as a fundamental aspect of filial piety. The video suggests that while respect is important, it has been narrowly defined and overemphasized to the point where it inhibits genuine communication and connection between parents and children. The script argues for a shift in focus from respect to love, using examples such as the expectation to follow parental directives without question, which can lead to a strained relationship.

💡Love

Love, as presented in the script, is the emotional bond and affection that should exist between parents and children, transcending the mere formalities of respect. The video encourages viewers to prioritize love over respect, suggesting that love is more conducive to open communication and a healthy relationship. It is exemplified through actions such as massaging parents' feet, which symbolize care and intimacy beyond the formal respect.

💡Communication

Communication is key to the video's message, emphasizing the need for open and honest dialogue between generations. The script points out that an overemphasis on respect can hinder communication, as it may lead to children suppressing their thoughts and feelings out of a perceived need for formality. The video advocates for a more relaxed approach that allows for genuine expression and understanding.

💡Parenting

Parenting, as discussed in the script, involves the practices and attitudes of parents towards their children, including the imparting of values and life advice. The video challenges traditional parenting methods that may be authoritative or prescriptive, suggesting that they can create distance between parents and children. It calls for a more loving and supportive approach that values the child's autonomy and individuality.

💡Filial Piety

Filial piety is a traditional virtue that emphasizes the respect and obedience children owe to their parents. The video acknowledges this concept but critiques its extreme manifestation, where the expectation of respect becomes a barrier to authentic relationships. The script suggests that the inherent respect children have for their parents should be supplemented with love and open communication.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity in the video refers to the genuine expression of oneself without the constraints of societal expectations or formalities. The speaker argues that the authentic feelings and thoughts of children are often suppressed under the guise of respect for parents. Authenticity is linked to love, as it allows for true connections and understanding to flourish within the family dynamic.

💡Advice

Advice in this context is the guidance or recommendations given by parents to their children. The video suggests that while parents may have good intentions, their advice may not always be relevant or beneficial. It encourages parents to be introspective about the value of their advice and to consider whether it is helpful or potentially causing friction.

💡Independence

Independence is the state of being self-governing and free from external control, which the video links to the idea that children should not be overly bound by parental expectations. The script implies that respecting a child's independence can foster a healthier relationship, allowing them to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences.

💡Emotional Support

Emotional support is the comfort and understanding provided to someone to help them cope with their feelings and challenges. The video emphasizes the importance of parents offering emotional support to their children, rather than just expecting respect. It suggests that showing love and understanding can be more beneficial than insisting on formal respect.

💡Intergenerational Relationships

Intergenerational relationships refer to the connections between different generations within a family. The video discusses the dynamics of these relationships, highlighting the need for a shift from traditional respect-based interactions to ones founded on love and understanding. It points out that such relationships should evolve to accommodate the changing needs and perspectives of both parents and children.

💡Cultural Values

Cultural values are the beliefs and norms that are passed down within a society or group. The video touches on how cultural values, particularly those related to respect for elders, can sometimes create an unnecessary divide between parents and children. It calls for a reevaluation of these values to ensure they promote positive and loving relationships.

Highlights

The topic of the discussion is 'Should we respect our parents?'

The speaker suggests that the definition of respecting parents in today's time cannot be fulfilled.

The speaker proposes that instead of respect, love should be the focus in the relationship between parents and children.

The speaker emphasizes that respect for parents is a default setting and should not be the primary goal.

The speaker discusses the importance of genuine love in relationships, suggesting that it allows for more open communication.

The speaker points out that children often feel they cannot respect their parents due to the expectations placed on them.

The speaker suggests that parents should be more understanding and less demanding of respect, focusing on love instead.

The speaker discusses the idea that children's rudeness might be a reflection of their frustration and a need for better communication.

The speaker argues that parents should not expect children to follow their advice blindly, as it may not always be beneficial.

The speaker encourages parents to be more introspective about the advice they give and its impact on their children's lives.

The speaker suggests that parents should be more open to listening to their children's concerns and frustrations.

The speaker highlights the importance of parents and children being friends and sharing their life experiences with each other.

The speaker emphasizes the value of love over respect in the context of parents and children, suggesting that love is more meaningful.

The speaker discusses the idea that respect is often given based on appearance, such as grey hair, rather than genuine affection.

The speaker encourages children to show love to their parents through actions, such as massaging their feet, rather than just words.

The speaker suggests that parents should communicate their desire for love and affection rather than just respect from their children.

The speaker concludes by hoping that the message of love over respect will be embraced in the new year, leading to happier family relationships.

Transcripts

Hello friends, today's topic is "Should we respect our parents".

They will say what's this topic. Of course yes.

Mundane topic.

Or you're going to teach us something wrong about this. Should we troll you?

Get eased.

It's new year and I'll bring good thoughts in front of you.

Should we respect our parents?

The topic is "Should we respect our parents".

It's a very deep topic as always and videos will be a little bit long.

But it'll empower you on the thought process level.

If you're a youngster you have to send and share this video with your parents.

Or if you're a parent then it'll also bring a change in your life.

Parent means a 50,60,70s years of age. Those who have mature children.

Those parents who have younger children can also watch this video because they are on the same path.

Now, we'll start with the topic.

I think that...

In my consultation many people came to me that "should we respect our parents ".

Normally the answer is 'Yes'. I'm not denying this. Of course.

Why should we only respect parents? We should respect everybody.

But there is something more to it. We have to do something more than respect.

Because I don't feel that today's youngsters can respect their parents.

What are you saying? Why can't we be able to respect our parents?

Listen to it carefully.

In today's time, the definition of respecting parents can't be fulfilled.

Follow all of our things, marry according to us, get your job according to us, wake up in the morning according to us....

When I say, parents. I mean mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother, father and elder generation which I'm talking.

It's not possible.

Talk sweetly.

No discussion is possible.

I want to say that put respect in the backseat just for 2-3 months and don't ask questions.

Instead start doing this. What I want to tell all of the country. It's a request please start loving your parents.

Leave respect aside for the time being.

We need to respect many people i.e. the boss...

We have set aside our parents because their respect is not possible.

As you won't get respected but love is also lost. Why you need respect. Rather accept love.

Now, they will say what all this is.

When you took care of your children. You might have chided your children. In India slapping is also there.

I'm not saying that it should be done but it's there you know this.

If a child speaks like this, oh father, you don't know about this.

Hey, mother leave it.

It's impoliteness.

Yes, it's according to you then what a big deal is it.

If your child is not rude to you then to whom he'll show this.

Whether the child shows rudeness with the neighbours. If he does this then they'll scold him.

Or will he get impolite with the people on the road, boss?

How will the frustrations of his life come out?

How will you get to know about this?

If you have put a curtain of respect that whenever the child will talk. He must show respect only.

The pain, frustration, how you treat him, and what is going on in his life will not reflect.

In this way, he'll get away from you. Either the child looks for a boyfriend or girlfriend or friend or alcohol or drugs...

Then he'll look for these things because...

The relationship is like "namaste papa ji". You don't sit or talk with us.

What should he talk about?

Because you feel deprived of respect in every situation.

Then you'll say that we just want sweet talk only.

The sweet words mean that he'll say good morning father, good morning mother, happy new year father, happy Diwali, happy birthday etc. like sweet drops of the Rooh afza.

The obscure mask you have made of respect. Like you forward the WhatsApp messages in the morning.

Whether your children have forwarded a message to you that parents should be like this...

Parents should be serene and parents should be like that tree which brings happiness.

They shouldn't be like

{Singing couplet}

There is a couplet of Kabir ji.

They won't send you these types of counter WhatsApp messages.

You keep on sending it to them and what the parents want is respect.

Don't go for respect rather go for love. You'll get love.

In the default setting every child respects their parents.

Like when you open a laptop or mobile there is a default setting for everything that it's done in this way.

In the default setting every child respects their parents or wants to respect them.

But by keep saying this. Give respect, sweet words...

You keep them away.

Neither do you have anything to say nor do they have?

As this new year has started and it's the month of January.

You can do this now and after that, we again get busy in life. When the year starts, it starts sluggishly.

The human is analyzing how I live and what corrections I need to make at the thought process level.

This...

Children need to send this to their parents and parents have to realize that doesn't go for respect but rather goes for love.

Where there is genuine love. There anyone can say anything to anyone. What is the need to get annoyed?

You show rudeness and again you are united.

What happens?

If your child is showing rudeness to you constantly 365 days and 10 times in a day then it's a different matter.

But in that case, also the child belongs to you.

What you have done with him or what you can prevent from being done that you haven't been able to do it.

What is happening to him? Why is he getting so rude? Think of this also.

Whether his belief systems are wrong.

He's asking for your property and you're not giving him property. That's he's showing impoliteness.

Why is he asking for the property?

Why are you not giving him property? Why is communication not possible?

Why is he having a sense of entitlement?

You might get something wrong somewhere in the communication. If your children are getting rude.

Sometimes they get impolite in frustration.

I have seen that sometimes children get impolite to get the well-being of their parents.

They are worried for the parents. They are worried about the health of the parents.

They say that comes to our megacities. I'll get you checked up. No, I can't come here.

If you get my check-up in some govt hospital of some small city by roaming there then we'll say that you're a good son or good daughter.

In big cities neither do we have something that we come here for. We had money but we liked the air of a small city.

Enjoy there then...

Why has that air made you feel sick?

You should purchase a small two BHK and rent it for life.

When you get this kind of problem then you can go there.

And then you'll say son please consult a hospital then it might be good for both son or daughter.

It's nearby. Just call the taxi and go there and after checking up return home.

Give the driver,...

And your work is done but you haven't done those things.

If children are a matter of concern in this and if they tell something to you then you say that they are very rude.

You don't respect us.

You won't respect us but we respected our parents a lot.

As you have respected your parents then you might get Param Vir chakra, Bharat Ratna or what they have given to you for this.

Padma Vibhushan or they might have given something to you.

Like parents give advice...

Get up early in the morning, do this...

As you have done all these works and how's your health.

What you have achieved in life. Have you thought of this on the thought process level?

I'll make a video on this. We should get up early in the morning.

You can get up anytime.

It doesn't matter when you get up. The thing that matters is what you do after getting up.

You will distort this syllabus. I'll also make a video on this also.

If you want it then do let me know.

Everything...

Not just for the sake of Interrupting. Not just for the sake of telling you that you have to do the opposite to it.

If he's saying that the sun rises in this way and I'll say that not in this way. Not in this way.

Just to tell you to have that doubt. I'm addressing the older generation. Have that doubt whatever advice you have.

Whatever thought process you have. It might not work now that efficiently.

And if the children won't listen to your advice. They know about it and they are showing a little bit of impoliteness.

Or they won't listen to you or they won't listen to your anything. Or they get angry sometimes.

Or sometimes they show frustration then you won't have to leave them mentally, physically, emotionally, financially.

Parents are disowning them.

Like it happens that people leave their babies at the mandir or at the stairs by giving birth. This is the extreme.

But the story is playing out in this way.

What is going on in his life?

If your child won't listen to you. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't be bothered about that child.

Because he won't listen to you.

First, check why won't he listen to you?

There are only two possibilities. Either he's a fool or your advice doesn't have power.

There is not any other option.

First, do introspection.

It might happen that earlier he/she followed your advice and don't able to succeed in life.

And he always fell in the dump. Every time he followed his mother's advice and was not able to succeed.

Every time he listens to his father and is not able to succeed. How many times should he fall into the dump?

Or this might be the experience.

Or you belong to those that the worst parents do. See, I have warned you.

See, I have warned you. With this, you lose respect a lot.

You tell many things in a day. As I'm an astrologer I knew all these things.

Probability and prediction...

You predict many absurd things about your child in a day. There is a possibility of five things getting right.

If that happens you will say that I have warned you of this. If you have warned him then why did he do that thing?

He is foolish and he doesn't listen to me. It means your advice doesn't have that much potential.

There is a possibility that he didn't listen to any of your advice out of 100 and he gets benefitted in 95 things.

Those five things that he didn't listen to you. He gets a loss there.

Those things in which he gets the loss. You are pointing out those things to him.

If he starts telling you the 95 things in which he gets a benefit. Overall, there is no benefit to following your advice.

Have you seen life in this way?

Whether I'm opening the knots. You tell me this whether I'm talking in a logical way.

The knowledge which parents continually give throughout the day. In this, some will work and some will not.

Firstly, stop force-feeding him. Like the way, we feed infants. You can't do these things when a child grows up.

You can tell him that whatever will happen I'm with you. Whether you listen to our advice or not but we are with you.

Just imagine how much love is increased by this. I'm telling you to increase love. Don't run after the respect.

You can get respect even from your peon, driver...

The one who comes in the morning to take garbage, the maid will give you respect. You will get respect from many.

In India, those having grey hair are respected. That's why I don't colour my hair.

I also tell others that when you get grey hair don't colour it.

It's a respect of default settings. As I leave after telling anything.

But those with black hair get hate speeches. I also get trolled. It becomes 100 times more if my hair is not grey.

I'm saying this the respect is in the default settings. My age is not much that I know this.

But people think that I'm aged. That's why as I'm telling you respect is in the default setting.

Like when you open the laptop as I told you. It has a default setting. In the same way, respect is on the default setting.

Don't go for respect which is on default setting. Go for love.

I'm saying this to the children also. Love your parents.

Share this knowledge with your parents which I'm sharing with you.

What respect?

You're parents.

Yes, we respect you.

Okay, mother.

Hey mother! Please make a cup of tea.

If you respect them then you should make the tea.

Hey mother! Please make a cup of tea.

Why can't children talk to their parents? Serve us now but when you get old we'll take care of you.

We're already older. No, you're not much older.

Why don't you make it lighter? I just want to tell the youngsters.

When parents are getting older then they don't have any friends.

You have to become friends with them and they will not say this to you.

You should check this. They don't have friends.

Go and ask them about the mistakes and blunders they have made in their lives.

That you are doing this thing only. I even had done these things.

Oh, father...

Oh, mother...

How did it happen?

You being holier-than-thou reaches at that pedestrian that child can't speak to you as you're sitting here.

He is somewhere in this position.

Yours faithfully, respectfully, sincerely...

The same way we write the application.

Then the same relationship that we're having with the principal. Whether you want to become the principal of your child.

Or you want to become dear, loving...

Dear, love is the words of English.

Go behind it.

Affection, true-heartedness...

Seek these words.

Respect...

Respectfully...

My respectfully...

Respect...

Then he'll give it to you.

You get respect only 1-2 times a day but you can get love many times a day. Love is reflected in every feeling, and action.

Sitting with you, feeling good, massaging your feet.

Children should massage the feet of their parents daily whatever the age of the parents may be. Even if they refuse you should do this.

Whenever you're massaging the feet of your parents assume that you're providing relief to their hearts.

You can't physically press the heart. There is no exercise of the heart but the veins are connected.

Those doctors who are here. Will tell me about this. It does help in blood circulation.

Keep providing the massage.

When you massage it properly then tell your mother to make a cup of tea.

Is this respect or love? I'm telling you actions.

Massage the feet of your mother for 20 mins. After that, tell her to make a fantastic cup of tulsi tea.

Why don't you make this kind of bond?

What respect...

Respect...

Have I ever said that you don't have to respect your parents?

Whether I'm saying that you should disrespect them.

Why are you running for that? It's in the default setting. You'll definitely get it.

In India, people with grey hair get respect in default settings. Our values as a country have not deteriorated to that extent.

They are getting deteriorated. Parents don't have to worry about it.

We get it...

Neighbors, neighbourhood children give respect but they won't give love. Our children will give love. ...

Tell your children that we want your affection.

We don't want sweet talks. Maybe you give bitter talks but at least talk to us.

At least talk about something with us. Show me some time, come sometime...

Maybe bitter, at least talk sometime with us...

No, we want this...

All can't sing sweetly like Lata Mangeshkar.

All can't sing sweetly like Lata Mangeshkar Ji.

That their tone is so sweet that you get delighted by listening to them.

What do you want to hear from children? You take care of us well. You struggled a lot. You're too great.

They will say it once. Do you want to listen to it daily?

You want to listen to it daily.

Mother, you have done a lot but my wife is useless and won't do anything.

You took care of us very well.....

See this, my children are not going anywhere.

It might give pleasure to you and children also will say to you on my recommendations.

But for how long and how much will they say this.

If his wife listens to this by mistake then what will happen to him. As we say that what comes out of his mouth comes back.

Go and live with your mother...

What do you want? What should he do?

What should he do?

What should she do? What do you want to hear?

What pains of life do you have that he'll cure.

There are various pains which your husband has given you. I'm addressing this to the old ladies.

The next generation can't cure the pain given by your husband or in-laws.

He might just understand it. No, they can't understand it.

They can't understand your problems. They have their own problems.

You understand their problems. Tell them that this happened to me and I had those feelings.

Have you ever discussed it? We have discussed this. Now, it's your turn to do it.

Parents are not discussing it. All parents should have to tell that our requirement is love.

Love... We want your affection.

Love.

Hindi movies have created a false impression that only it happens between a boy and a girl.

Other relations are of respect only.

According to me, there should be respect between boy and girl i.e. between husband and wife.

And in others, love should be there

Nowadays love has become like this...

{Singing}

There is a song like that. This means the love word is related to only the love between the boy and the girl.

Whether there is no love between parents and children. Whether it's not there in the siblings.

It's also possible among other people...

Please, all parents should send this video to their children on New Year's Day.

That we want your love, not your respect...

And children should say okay. As guru ji told us we'll give you love in 2023.

The way you want us to respect. We can't be able to give you in that way. You can't follow all the things of the parents.

So, we can't give respect.

If someone thinks of their respect as that I'll decide how the other person will breathe.

And the other person will say that I'll not let you decide then the other person will say you won't respect me.

That's why I said the definition of respect is made such that children can't give respect.

Because you have made the definition of it in such a way. Become simple in this new year.

Be happy and spread happiness in the family.

And good things will happen.

In 2023, I hope the seed of positivity that I tried to implant in your family will grow to become a plant and a tree.

Thank you very much.