Does Sex Before Marriage Affect The Relationship?

Summary

In this episode, Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes discuss the widespread nature of premarital sex and its impact on relationships and marriage. They explore the concept of sexual compatibility, the psychological and emotional implications of multiple partners, and the benefits of waiting until marriage for a fulfilling sexual relationship. The conversation also includes advice for parents on how to talk openly with their children about sex, emphasizing the importance of intimacy, trust, and commitment within marriage.

Takeaways

• 👥 We are inherently sexual beings, with a small percentage being asexual.
• 📊 Most people in America are sexually active before marriage, and it's widespread across various age groups.
• ❓ There's a debate about whether premarital sex is good, bad, or makes no difference.
• 📅 The 'third date rule' is common for initiating sex, which can negatively impact future marriages.
• 🔄 Multiple sexual partners before marriage can lead to comparisons and dissatisfaction in marital sex life.
• 🚫 Parents should openly discuss sex with their children to guide them toward understanding the importance of waiting until marriage.
• 💑 Sex within marriage is advocated as it fosters trust, intimacy, commitment, and a deeper connection between partners.
• 📚 Educating children about sex in an open, respectful manner is crucial to help them make informed decisions.
• 🎁 Waiting to have sex until marriage can build anticipation and excitement, enhancing the marital relationship.
• 💬 Communication between partners about their sexual beliefs and expectations before marriage is essential for compatibility.

Q & A

What is the main topic of discussion in the 'Marriage Helper' podcast featuring Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes?

The main topic of the podcast is the prevalence of sexual activity before marriage and its potential impact on future marital relationships.

According to the podcast, what is the general view on asexuality among human beings?

The podcast suggests that asexuality is rare among human beings, with most people being sexual beings.

What does Kimberly Holmes think about the widespread nature of premarital sex in America?

Kimberly Holmes believes that premarital sex is very widespread, with studies showing the percentage of people engaged in sexual acts starting from age 14 and extending to those in their 80s.

What is the 'third date' logic mentioned in the podcast, and what is the potential issue with it?

The 'third date' logic refers to the expectation that individuals should become sexually active by the third date. The issue with this is the potential for destructive impacts on future marriages, either by creating comparisons or by leading to dissatisfaction with a single partner.

Why might having multiple sexual partners before marriage affect sexual satisfaction in a marriage, according to Dr. Joe Beam?

Dr. Joe Beam explains that having multiple sexual partners before marriage can lead to a habit of comparing different experiences and expectations, which can make it difficult for one person to satisfy the individual sexually within a marriage.

What is the argument against premarital sex based on the idea of 'becoming one' in a relationship?

The argument is that sex is not just a physical act but an emotional and spiritual joining of two people. Premarital sex with multiple partners can dilute this experience and make it harder to achieve true unity in marriage.

What advice does Dr. Joe Beam give to a woman who was considering having sex with a stranger before her wedding to avoid being a 'virgin' on her wedding night?

Dr. Joe Beam advises against it, stating that it would complicate the experience with her future husband and lead to potential comparisons and dissatisfaction.

What is the potential impact of engaging in sexual activity with 60 different partners before marriage, as mentioned in the podcast?

The potential impact is a heightened likelihood of finding a single partner sexually unsatisfying due to the variety of experiences and expectations set by the numerous previous encounters.

What is the Triune view of human beings as discussed in the podcast, and how does it relate to sex within marriage?

The Triune view suggests that humans consist of a physical, logical, and emotional part, and possibly a spiritual aspect. Sex within marriage is seen as fulfilling on all these levels, leading to a deeper and more meaningful connection.

What advice does the podcast give to parents about discussing sex with their children?

The podcast advises parents to have open and frank conversations about sex with their children, using correct anatomical terms and creating a comfortable environment for questions, to avoid misconceptions and promote healthy attitudes towards sex.

What is the final recommendation from the podcast regarding premarital sex and the importance of discussing sexual compatibility before marriage?

The podcast recommends that individuals abstain from premarital sex and have open discussions about sexual compatibility and expectations with their future spouse to ensure a strong foundation for their marriage.