Alex Hormozi: the BEST life MENTOR | 15 MINUTE

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing challenges rather than expecting ease in the pursuit of success. They discuss the power of reframing reality, acknowledging personal shortcomings, and taking ownership of one's journey. By confronting the possibility of being 'right' about negative feedback, individuals can find strength and motivation. The narrative also touches on the value of perseverance, personal growth, and the idea of becoming the hero of one's own story, overcoming adversity to achieve a greater purpose.

Takeaways

• 🌟 People often root for those who don't need support, highlighting the importance of self-belief and perseverance.
• 🤔 The speaker emphasizes the importance of resetting expectations and facing the reality of the challenges ahead.
• 💪 Acknowledging and confronting reality, even when it's uncomfortable, can lead to personal growth and a stronger mindset.
• 👂 Listening to criticism and considering its validity can be a powerful tool for self-improvement and resilience.
• 🚫 Denying reality or avoiding criticism often leads to wasted effort and missed opportunities for growth.
• 🙅‍♂️ The speaker shares a personal story about overcoming self-doubt and the realization that success doesn't require self-worth.
• 🙌 Success is achievable regardless of self-perceived worth, and focusing on actions that lead to success can be empowering.
• 🤝 The concept of 'deserving' is challenged, suggesting that gratitude and enjoyment are more important than feeling entitled to success.
• 🔥 Burnout is defined as a decrease in output per unit of time, distinguishing it from emotional exhaustion caused by an inability to reframe reality.
• 💡 Taking ownership of one's situation by acknowledging 'my fault' can be a transformative step towards personal responsibility and growth.
• 👊 The power of reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and viewing oneself as the hero of one's own story can be a powerful motivator.
• 🎯 Having a larger narrative or vision for one's life can provide the motivation to overcome hardships and see them as part of a bigger journey.
• 📈 The speaker suggests that the early, difficult stages of any endeavor are crucial for building the skills and context needed for future success.
• 🏆 Embracing the idea that the path to success is often hard and lonely can be a powerful mindset shift, turning a perceived negative into a unique advantage.
• 👏 The importance of self-encouragement and being your own cheerleader, especially during the times when others may not yet recognize your potential.

Q & A

What does the speaker suggest about people's expectations and reality?

The speaker suggests that people often have unrealistic expectations, and when reality doesn't meet these expectations, it can lead to disappointment. He emphasizes the importance of aligning expectations with reality and accepting the challenges as part of the journey.

What is the speaker's perspective on the concept of 'deserving' success?

The speaker argues that one doesn't necessarily need to 'deserve' success to achieve it. Instead, focusing on the actions that lead to success is more important. He believes that the idea of deserving can limit enjoyment and gratitude for achievements.

How does the speaker relate the idea of confronting reality to personal growth?

The speaker believes that confronting reality, even if it's uncomfortable, is crucial for personal growth. By acknowledging and accepting the truth, individuals can move past denial and take steps towards improvement.

What role does the speaker assign to gratitude in the context of success?

The speaker suggests that gratitude is essential in appreciating success. He argues that if one feels they deserve their success, they might not fully enjoy it. Instead, focusing on the journey and the effort put in can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment.

How does the speaker view the relationship between blame and power?

The speaker posits that power follows the blame finger. By blaming others or external factors for one's situation, one gives away their power. Taking responsibility and acknowledging 'my fault' is a way to reclaim that power and control over one's life.

What advice does the speaker give regarding the early stages of pursuing a goal?

The speaker advises that the early stages of pursuing a goal are often the hardest and that expecting them to be easy is a mistake. He encourages embracing the challenges and viewing them as necessary steps towards success.

How does the speaker describe the process of reframing reality?

The speaker describes reframing reality as a process of acknowledging and confronting the truth about one's situation. He suggests that this can help individuals move past denial and take control of their lives, rather than being held back by false expectations.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of storytelling in personal development?

The speaker believes that storytelling is a powerful tool in personal development. By envisioning the story of one's journey, including the challenges and triumphs, individuals can gain motivation and a sense of purpose.

How does the speaker relate the concept of 'burnout' to productivity and emotional state?

The speaker differentiates between burnout as a measurable decrease in output per unit of time and emotional burnout, which he sees as a mislabeling of frustration or disappointment. He suggests that reframing reality and confronting the truth can help manage emotional burnout.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with criticism or negative feedback?

The speaker advises acknowledging and confronting the criticism, even if it's uncomfortable. He suggests that by admitting the truth in the criticism, one can move past the shame and focus on improvement, rather than being held back by denial.

How does the speaker encourage viewing challenges as opportunities?

The speaker encourages viewing challenges as opportunities by reframing them as necessary steps towards success. He suggests that embracing the difficulty can lead to personal growth and a stronger sense of achievement.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Embracing Challenges and Redefining Success

The speaker initiates a dialogue about the misconception that people only support those who are already successful. Through interaction with an audience, they explore the reality of challenges and the reset of expectations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of confronting reality, using the example of someone being teased for having big ears to illustrate the point of accepting truth and moving forward. They discuss the power of reframing thoughts, such as not needing to 'deserve' success to achieve it, and the transformative effect of taking responsibility for one's own life and success. The summary also touches on the speaker's personal journey and the concept of gratitude, suggesting that recognizing one's own faults can be a powerful motivator.

05:00

💪 Overcoming Adversity and the Power of Self-Belief

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the challenges faced by individuals from various disadvantaged backgrounds and the potential to rise above them. They acknowledge the legitimacy of some people's struggles while encouraging a mindset of taking responsibility and becoming an inspiration to others. The speaker advocates for the idea that power lies where blame is directed and suggests that internalizing responsibility can lead to empowerment. They also discuss the importance of creating art for oneself and the value of personal growth over immediate external validation. The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the concept of becoming the hero of one's own story, using future storytelling as a motivational tool during difficult times.

10:02

🛡 The Early Struggles and the Path to Greatness

The speaker reflects on the hardships faced during the early stages of one's journey, likening the experience to a battle with limited resources. They discuss the importance of viewing these struggles as formative experiences that build the skills necessary for future success. The speaker uses the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' as a metaphor for how seemingly random experiences can contribute to one's ability to overcome larger challenges later in life. They encourage embracing the difficulty of the path less traveled, suggesting that it is precisely the hardship that deters others, making it a unique advantage. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-belief and self-motivation, suggesting that one must be the first to root for oneself on the path to exceptional achievements.

Keywords

💡Expectations

Expectations refer to the beliefs or anticipations about what will happen or what is typically the case. In the video, the speaker discusses how resetting expectations is crucial for understanding the reality of challenges. For instance, when the speaker asks who thought pledging would be easy or hard, he highlights the disparity between expectations and reality.

💡Reality

Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an ideal or imaginary idea. The video emphasizes the importance of confronting reality, as seen when the speaker talks about acknowledging that one's ears are big, as a way to accept truth and move forward. This acceptance is key to overcoming denial and making progress.

💡Permission

Permission here implies the internal or external consent to feel or act in a certain way. The speaker mentions that giving oneself 'permission to feel shitty' can be a form of acceptance that allows for emotional release and a shift in perspective, which is essential for personal growth and resilience.

💡Deserving

Deserving suggests an entitlement based on merit or worthiness. The video challenges the notion of deserving success, arguing that one can still achieve success without feeling deserving. This idea is used to encourage action despite self-doubt, as seen when the speaker talks about not needing to 'deserve' success to achieve it.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The speaker discusses how thinking you deserve something can diminish your enjoyment of it, implying that gratitude is a more fulfilling approach to success and happiness.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion often caused by excessive and prolonged stress. The video differentiates between burnout and the feeling of 'hard,' explaining that burnout is measurable by a decrease in output per unit of time, whereas feeling hard is more about reframing reality and dealing with emotional challenges.

💡Narrative

Narrative refers to a spoken or written account of connected events; a story. The speaker emphasizes the importance of creating a compelling personal narrative, suggesting that envisioning oneself as the hero of a story can provide motivation and a sense of purpose, as seen in the discussion about futurecasting one's story.

💡Ownership

Ownership is the state or fact of possessing or controlling something. The video discusses taking ownership of one's life and success, as illustrated by the speaker's realization that blaming others for his failures was giving them power over his success, leading him to take responsibility.

💡Inspiration

Inspiration is the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. The speaker talks about the potential to be an inspiration to others, particularly in overcoming adversity, suggesting that personal success stories can motivate others facing similar challenges.

💡Epic Story

An epic story is a long narrative poem, typically one that celebrates heroic deeds and events significant in the history or mythology of a people. The speaker uses the concept of an 'epic story' to describe the value of enduring hardships and challenges, as these experiences can be woven into a larger, more meaningful personal narrative.

💡Resources

Resources are assets or possessions that can be drawn upon for support or assistance. The video highlights the scarcity of resources in the early stages of a venture, suggesting that the initial challenges are part of the journey that builds resilience and resourcefulness.

💡Selection Effect

Selection effect refers to the bias introduced by the selection process. The speaker mentions this concept to explain why the path of exceptional individuals is often lonely, suggesting that the challenges faced early on are a form of self-selection that weeds out those who are not truly committed.

Highlights

The importance of resetting expectations to match reality and how it can alleviate feelings of hardship.

Confronting reality and accepting criticism as a means to stop denial and move forward.

The concept of not needing to 'deserve' success to achieve it, and the power of taking responsibility for one's actions.

The role of gratitude and the potential negative impact of feeling entitled to success.

Defining burnout as a decrease in output per unit of time and distinguishing it from emotional exhaustion.

The power of reframing negative experiences and comments by acknowledging their validity and moving past them.

Taking ownership of one's life and success by pointing the finger of blame inwards rather than outwards.

The idea that hardships and disadvantages can be overcome to become an inspiration to others.

The concept of 'Power follows the blame finger' and how it relates to personal responsibility and empowerment.

The value of creating art or content for oneself, which can resonate with a larger audience.

The significance of viewing oneself as the hero of one's own narrative, especially during challenging times.

Using the 'epic story' framework to make decisions and predict one's behavior in difficult situations.

The early days of a venture being the most challenging due to limited resources and the importance of perseverance.

The idea that hardships in the beginning can provide unique advantages and context for future success.

Embracing the difficulty of the path as a sign that it is less likely to be followed by others, increasing one's chances of success.

The necessity of being one's own cheerleader, especially during times of loneliness and struggle on the path to success.

The analogy of the 'slow clap' in an auditorium representing the gradual recognition and support one may receive on their journey.

Transcripts

yeah people only root for those who

don't need to be rooted

[Music]

for and so I just asked them a couple

questions I was like who here before

pledging started was like I want to be a

part of this house the guys were like

you me okay like okay got it who here

thought it was going to be easy who here

thought it would be hard they raised

their hands I'm like guys this is what

hard feels like and all of a sudden

there's just like this big EX in the

room they're like expectations get reset

this is normal you wanted this thing you

expected it to be hard reality now

matches conditions sorry expectations

now match conditions this is what heart

feels like and then all of a sudden it's

like they got permission to feel shitty

and by getting permission to feel shitty

they stop feeling and the next one is

like what if we confront it and say like

what if they're right now what cuz a lot

of I think a lot of effort gets put into

trying toy deny reality right like

there's this clip that I shared uh from

B and he was talking about how he gets

made fun of for his ears being big right

and I think it's a really good clip cuz

his point that he was making um cuz it's

such a visual easy example for people to

understand he's like is that it's true I

do have big ears and and so that's

that's like the if they're like you have

no right to be making content are they

right okay and yeah I'm still going to

do it anyways because the thing is like

I one of the things that I had earlier

on in my career was like

I didn't think I was a really good

person like I was like I'm not a good

person like some people like yeah I just

had that right and I had a you know

whatever and one of the things that gave

me a lot of respite or relief from that

kind of thought process was like comma

that's okay because I can still do the

things that create success and not

deserve it and still get it and that

actually felt very powerful for me

because it was like I don't have to

deserve to success I can still just do

the stuff that gets it it's like you

don't have to you don't have to deserve

the girl but you can still do the things

that get her and do deserve it when you

have her I don't know who knows I hate

the word deserve to begin with right yes

but like that concept because also I I

could segue into like gratitude around

like if you think you deserve it then

you don't you don't enjoy it but um that

has been super powerful for me which is

like what if they're right and because a

lot of people just trying to they spend

so much effort trying to fight the fact

that the comments might be right this

might have been a [ __ ] terrible

thumbnail you know what this might have

been a boring video this this post might

have been regurgitated content this post

might have been inspired too closely by

someone else's post right what if

they're right and yeah does it make me a

piece of [ __ ] what if it does and I hear

stats like that and I just think man it

is so easy to win like that I mean like

when I hear that that's exactly what I

think I'm just like man if everyone's

like struggling to win it's like you

like most of the pain that people

experience is purely in their own minds

and so to your point I think there's an

interesting one between like burnout

versus hard and so like for me burnout

is when my I would Define it as my

output per unit of time decreases so I

can see that that's measurable right now

like I can say like number of pages that

I edit or the quality of the content

that I create like my output per time

like the team knows when I like when I'm

like 6 hours 7 hours into recording

something they're like I literally start

like slumping you know like like

physically I just start like slumping

and like my Cadence isn't as like I'm

just not as sharp right there's that

versus emotional burnout which I think

people mislabel as burnout out when

really it's just like they don't know

how to reframe reality and so what it

really is is they got a comment on a

post that bugged them and like again

it's like pulling it from the Shadows

it's like no this stuff doesn't work

it's like hold on what's the one voice

that actually is coming through what is

the real thing well there is this

comment okay great it's embarrassing to

even have to say that but when you say

it then you admit it and all of a sudden

you put it in the light and the shame

kind of starts to evaporate because then

you can name it and be like is this

Comet better than my bigger than my

future is this Comet bigger than me

and one of the things that I um that has

helped me was saying like what's true

about this you stay in poverty until you

learn the first lesson of poverty which

is two words my fault and so when I was

younger I was really angry at my parents

like many people are right Justified or

not doesn't really matter I was very

angry and I blamed them for the woes of

my life and I realized when I was 19

that these people that I hated I was

giving all the power over the fact that

I wasn't the person I wanted to be and I

was like well it's their fault and the

idea that I had actually given these

people that I hated Power Over My

Success was ultimately something that

made me feel sick to my stomach and was

what allowed me to point the finger of

blame inwards and say my fault and then

at least take ownership over the fact

that like and like sure maybe your dad

didn't hug you enough or maybe your mom

was in PR or whatever it is right it's

like and and like I said this the other

day and it'll probably piss off a lot of

your audience so you know we can put our

soft ear phones on um like if you were

if you if you suffered from racial

inequality if you suffer from gender

inequality if you suffer from being born

in Bangladesh if you were ra uh not

racial sexually abused your entire life

you would be completely justified in the

fact that you are not achieving the

things that other people who didn't have

those disadvantages have achieved and I

say this as a white guy who was born in

America to a doctor father I understand

that but to the same degree you have the

opportunity that Chris nor I have which

is that you can be an inspiration to

people who just who went through the

same thing and succeeded comma despite

those circumstances because I can

promise that there is somebody who has

had it worse and has done it better and

I think that that one single point of

proof and like there's a global point of

proof that you can look for for sure but

like you can be that very local point of

proof in your community or subc

community and I think um as soon as we

shed that that's like I just I'm a big

fan of uh Power follows the blame finger

so like wherever you point the blame

finger is where the power follows so

it's like if you point it if you point

it to the government government has the

power if you point it at your your

spouse and say like it's their fault

that I'm I'm not in shape it's their

fault they never let me do anything it's

like well you're giving them all the

power and so it's like until you're like

it's my fault it's also becomes my

responsibility what is what if it's not

your fault it doesn't matter and like I

can't run marathons because I lost my

leg at Birth and either you can just

never try or you put the metal thing on

and you do it anyways shoot I can't

remember where it was from um but

basically that the best art is Art where

the artist makes it for themselves and

where you see commercial work is where a

bunch of people are trying to make

something for an audience and so it's

they're trying to like rinse and recycle

stuff that actually solves no one's

problems because no one is actually the

audience whereas when you make it for

yourself there's thousands of people

just like you who will Who will have the

same depth of understanding of it but it

feels selfish in the moment to make

something for yourself but when you make

it for yourself you actually make it for

every and so I think when you're on the

start path you can't look at the outcome

as The only positive cuz you will never

make it and so the positive frame that

I've always used is sure you can have

the external ones of like I like

thinking about my first videos had like

13 views and I'm like well if I had an

audience of 13 people I used to spend

years pitching you know weight loss

stuff to rims of 13 and that was fine

and so thinking about that way was

helpful but the the most helpful frame

was thinking about who I was becoming as

the asset that I was building so in real

time when whenever I finished a Long

Day's Work I was becoming more like the

type of person who could work for 5

years without reward and that would be

part of the story I would someday tell

and some some of the biggest reinforces

I've had in my life has been

futurecasting the story that I would

tell about the shitty period that I was

in like I remember when I was sleeping

on the floor at my gym cuz I didn't have

enough money for two rents and I was

like I will [ __ ] tell this story and

when I lost everything for the first

time I like I have the screenshot of the

bank account like when I show it people

are like oh look there's that thing but

they forget that there was a person who

screenshotted it to be like this won't

[ __ ] happen again and I think having

a larger Narrative of where you're

ultimately going one gives you the

vision of where you're like the like

knows where he's going but it allows the

dragons that you have to slay along the

way the hard things that you have to

overcome to feed into the larger

Narrative of who of the story that

you'll someday tell and so like no one

ever tells stories about the hero who

made it all happen immediately and had

no hardships no one cares right like

okay you were born to a billionaire is

there a story there not really but

everyone loves the story because we can

see ourselves in the character and how

much we hope to be like them and it's

the being like them not the having what

they have that we usually like and so

reframing ourselves as the hero of that

narrative in my harder times was what

really got me through that and thinking

I will tell this story someday I want to

give you the single easiest razor to

predict my behavior and I I said

whatever will be the most epic story is

the thing that I will most likely do and

so often times the most epic story is

not the shortest outcome to Victory it's

the long Saga that results in this big

thing later eventually and I was like if

you ever want to know if you're like I'm

not sure what he's going to do in this

situation just wonder what the most epic

story to tell would be and that's

usually what I will do and I don't know

if that's self-aggrandizing but that's

that's genuinely my Razor for even

making the dis the big decisions about

okay I'm going to sell gym launch I'm

going to I'm going to marry ilila I'm

going to slum it and live at the gym I'm

going to fly around and do turnarounds

I'm going to start this whole idea of a

media company that just gives

exclusively like how do like how do I

put all these together it's like well

what would be the most epic story and I

thought of this idea of just like when I

think about who that story I want to

tell is is this billionaire that

documented the entire thing the whole

way and just gave because I always I was

like I wish that Elon Musk and and

Warren Buffett and all these guys would

have like and Jeff basos like would have

just like I would love to have seen

1997 Amazon content and a lot of the

content in terms of like it it's getting

five views it's like it's okay because

when we make it they're going to come

back and watch this so I don't need them

to watch it today I want them to know

that it's here when I do and I think

that got me out of the the loop of it I

have to win right now and then every one

of them is just dropping uh a kernel or

a bread comom for future meat to refer

back to it won't get harder like this is

the hardest part and so if you can just

make it through this everything else is

downhill it's not that the things that

you're the dragons are going to slay

aren't going to get bigger they are but

you become so much more equipped to slay

them back and you have so many more

allies you have people in the stands

cheering for you you have the audience

you have all of these other things that

are behind you but in the beginning it's

just you with a stick against a bear and

argu that fight is a harder fight to win

than beating a dragon when you have a

nuclear bomb and Six Nations behind you

and so it's not even like the the size

of the hardship it's just also the

resources and how few of them you have

and how so much of the beginning is

literally burning the one thing you have

which is time because you have no

leverage you don't have the money to pay

other people to help you you don't have

the resources to go like get someone to

to no one can learn it for you it's like

there's a lot of the things that that we

care about a lot like no one can work

out for you doesn't matter how much

money you have no one can learn skills

for you and so in the early days like it

feels so painful cuz you're like you

look around to see who can help you and

then you're like [ __ ] it's me again and

I think getting comfortable with the

idea that each of these things kind of

like Slum Dog Millionaire if you've seen

that movie where he I'll give you the

tldr he goes through his entire life of

Randomness and he gets on Who Wants To

Be A Millionaire version in India and it

has 12 questions to make a million

dollars and from only 12 random

experiences in his life that seemed

meaningless at the time was he able to

answer all of the questions and then

ultimately win the skills that you

develop along the way like Steve Jobs

learning calligraphy that then became

Apple fonts that you know transformed

how we type those early days that little

trench winning in the weeds often times

gives you these huge advantages later on

because you have more context than

anyone else and so rather than lament

them and hate the fact that you're going

through it remembering that these will

be arrows that you put in the quiver

that you're going to be using to slay

the future bigger dragons and so

expecting it to be easy is what makes it

much harder than it ever is because in

the early days hard was ooh stop this

isn't good I should I should this is a

warning sign this is a red flag I should

slow down or I should stop you know I

should pivot but the more I think about

it as a competitive landscape as I'm

clear on what this path is supposed to

look like and these rocks and these

dragons are things that I'm going to

have to slay along the way to get the

princess or get the treasure I get

happier about the harder it is because I

know that no one else will follow it's a

selection effect and I think if you can

if you can shift from this is hard to no

one else will be able to do this then it

it's it flips from being this thing that

you're like oh poor me to oh poor

everyone else who's going to have to

[ __ ] try yeah and I think that is so

much more motivating as a frame for the

exact same circumstance like the amount

of times when I was on my lonely path

where I was too different from the

friends that I had but not successful

enough to be friends with the people

that I wanted to be friends with that's

when that's when you want people to root

for you that's when you want people to

support you once you've already won

people are like he's amazing he's so

good but like that's the time when you

need it the least and so you always have

to be the person who roots for you

before everyone else does and it's

usually a single clap in the auditorium

for a very long period of time it is a

slow clap that's just you rooting for

you um and that visual I think is one

that you can kind of take because it is

people struggle to do things alone and

the path of the exceptional person is

one of an exception which means that you

are not with other people and rather

than fighting that or bemoaning it see

it as an indicator that you're on the

right path because if everyone else were

cheering you on then it means you're not

in the right place because it means

you're just like everyone else and

that's not where you want to be

[Music]

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