Why ADHD Makes You Feel Broken
Summary
TLDRThe script discusses the internal struggles of individuals with ADHD, highlighting how societal and personal misconceptions can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression. It emphasizes the importance of proper diagnosis and treatment, including the potential benefits and challenges of ADHD medication. The video also touches on the underdiagnosis in girls and the impact of societal pressures on self-perception, advocating for a deeper understanding and support for neurodiverse individuals.
Takeaways
- 🧠 The script discusses the internal struggle of individuals with ADHD, who may feel fundamentally broken due to their inability to focus and the pressure to live up to their potential.
- 🤯 It highlights the common misconception that ADHD is a personal flaw rather than a neurodiverse condition, which can lead to feelings of shame and depression.
- 🔄 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding the difference between personal flaws and ADHD symptoms, as misattribution can cause psychological distress.
- 🎓 The script mentions Triple 10, an online educational platform that offers boot camp-style curricula and has impressive job placement rates for graduates.
- 💼 It suggests that finding the right job can significantly enhance overall life satisfaction, especially for those with ADHD who may be struggling in their current careers.
- 📊 The connection between ADHD and depression is explored, noting that ADHD increases the risk for depression, particularly during adolescence and young adulthood.
- 👧 The underdiagnosis of ADHD in girls is discussed, pointing out that girls' symptoms may be missed due to differences in brain development and behavior compared to boys.
- 🧬 The script touches on the genetic and environmental factors contributing to ADHD and how the condition can manifest differently in individuals.
- 💊 It discusses the effectiveness of ADHD medication, noting that while it can be beneficial for some, it may not work for everyone and can have variable effects.
- 🧐 The importance of a proper clinical evaluation for ADHD is stressed, rather than self-diagnosis, to ensure accurate treatment and understanding of the condition.
- 🌟 The script concludes by acknowledging the complex relationship between ADHD, personal experiences, and societal expectations, and the need for a nuanced understanding of the condition.
Q & A
What is the main issue the speaker discusses regarding individuals with ADHD?
-The speaker discusses the issue of self-blame and the belief that one's failures are entirely their own fault due to a perceived lack of effort, which is often a misconception among individuals with ADHD.
How does the speaker describe the common experience of individuals with ADHD?
-The speaker describes the common experience of individuals with ADHD as feeling fundamentally broken, struggling with self-doubt, and attributing personal flaws to the condition rather than understanding it as a neurodiverse trait.
What is the 'triple 10' mentioned in the script, and what does it offer?
-'Triple 10' is an online educational platform that offers various curricula through a boot camp format, boasting an 87% job placement rate within 6 months of graduation and a refund policy if graduates do not find a job.
How does the speaker connect ADHD with depression?
-The speaker connects ADHD with depression by explaining that individuals with ADHD often carry a belief of being fundamentally broken, which can lead to depression, especially during adolescence and young adulthood.
What is the comorbidity rate between ADHD and depression mentioned in the script?
-The comorbidity rate between ADHD and depression is mentioned to be around 30%.
Why does the speaker say that girls with ADHD are often underdiagnosed?
-Girls with ADHD are often underdiagnosed because they typically exhibit less hyperactivity, which is a common symptom that leads to ADHD diagnosis. Additionally, girls' brains mature faster, and societal expectations may mask the symptoms.
What is the impact of misdiagnosing or misattributing ADHD symptoms as personal flaws?
-Misdiagnosing or misattributing ADHD symptoms as personal flaws can lead to feelings of shame, self-blame, and a belief of being fundamentally broken, which can negatively impact mental health and self-perception.
How does the speaker explain the psychological damage caused by attributing ADHD symptoms to personal effort?
-The speaker explains that attributing ADHD symptoms to personal effort can create a learned helplessness and confusion, as individuals are taught that their right actions are wrong, leading to a distorted perception of reality and self-worth.
What is the 'stress-diathesis' model mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to ADHD?
-The 'stress-diathesis' model presumes that illness is the result of an environmental component plus a genetic risk. In relation to ADHD, it suggests that the manifestation of ADHD symptoms can be influenced by environmental factors in addition to genetic predisposition.
How does the speaker describe the impact of stimulant medication on individuals with ADHD?
-The speaker describes the impact of stimulant medication as highly variable, with some individuals experiencing instant benefits and mood elevation, while others may not respond positively or may even experience negative side effects.
What is the significance of the Captain Picard example in the script?
-The Captain Picard example is used to illustrate the contrast between an individual with strong internal fortitude who can resist psychological manipulation and a child with ADHD who lacks such fortitude and is more susceptible to the damaging effects of external pressures and misdiagnosis.
Outlines
🤯 Struggling with ADHD and Self-Doubt
The first paragraph delves into the internal struggle of individuals with ADHD, who often feel they are underperforming despite their efforts. It discusses the common misconception that their failures are entirely their fault, rather than being related to their condition. The speaker also touches on the societal and self-imposed pressure to live up to one's potential and the resulting self-blame. Additionally, the paragraph introduces 'triple 10,' an online educational platform that offers boot camp-style curricula and has impressive job placement rates, suggesting it as a potential solution for those looking to pivot their careers. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the link between ADHD and depression, particularly in adolescence and young adulthood, and the lack of understanding as to why this connection exists.
👧 The Underdiagnosis of ADHD in Girls
This paragraph focuses on the disparity in ADHD diagnosis rates between girls and boys, with only one girl diagnosed for every three boys. It explores the reasons behind this, including the fact that girls' frontal lobes develop more quickly, making their ADHD symptoms less noticeable. The paragraph also discusses how societal expectations and the misdiagnosis of ADHD as a lack of effort can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-blame. The speaker emphasizes the psychological damage caused by teaching individuals that their correct efforts are wrong, leading to learned helplessness and confusion in life navigation. The paragraph ends with a call to action for parents and educators to be more aware of the signs of ADHD in girls and to avoid the damaging effects of misdiagnosis.
😔 The Psychological Impact of ADHD-Related Shame
The third paragraph examines the psychological effects of living with ADHD, particularly the feelings of shame and the belief that one is fundamentally broken due to perceived personal flaws. It discusses how this belief can contribute to depression and the development of a 'shame complex' where individuals internalize the idea that their failures are entirely their fault. The speaker also addresses the lack of proper diagnosis and understanding of ADHD in children, leading to a cycle of self-blame and learned helplessness. The paragraph highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing these feelings to prevent the development of depression and other mental health issues associated with ADHD.
💊 Gender Differences in ADHD Medication Efficacy
The final paragraph discusses the differences in how ADHD medications affect women compared to men, noting that the development of these drugs has been largely focused on reducing hyperactivity, a symptom more prevalent in boys. It suggests that this focus may not be as effective for girls and women, who may require different treatment approaches, such as atomoxetine. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of considering gender differences in ADHD treatment and the need for further research to develop more effective medications for all individuals with ADHD, regardless of gender.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡ADHD
💡Neurodiversity
💡Shame
💡Depression
💡Learned Helplessness
💡Stimulant Medication
💡Triple 10
💡Neurosis
💡Burnout
💡Cognitive Mechanisms
💡Self-Blame
Highlights
Individuals with ADHD may feel fundamentally broken due to a lack of understanding and support, leading to a belief that their failures are entirely their fault.
The societal and self-imposed pressure on individuals with ADHD to 'live up to their potential' can contribute to a sense of inadequacy and failure.
ADHD can be both underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed, often due to a lack of awareness or misdirected focus on symptoms like hyperactivity.
Girls with ADHD are less likely to be diagnosed due to a combination of biological, social, and diagnostic factors.
The misdiagnosis of ADHD as an effort problem can lead to significant psychological damage and a sense of learned helplessness.
The belief that one's ADHD is a personal flaw rather than a neurological condition can contribute to depression and low self-esteem.
The comorbidity between ADHD and depression is significant, with approximately 30% of individuals with ADHD also experiencing depression.
Medication for ADHD can have highly variable effects, with some individuals experiencing significant mood elevation while others may not respond well to certain treatments.
The development of ADHD medication has historically been skewed towards treating hyperactivity, which may not be as effective for girls and women.
The transcript discusses the importance of proper diagnosis and understanding of ADHD to avoid the development of shame and self-blame.
The impact of ADHD on an individual's life can be profound, affecting not only academic and professional success but also personal relationships and mental health.
The transcript emphasizes the need for a differential diagnosis approach to understand the unique challenges faced by individuals with ADHD.
The shame associated with ADHD can lead individuals to self-diagnose or deny their condition, further complicating their mental health journey.
The transcript suggests that addressing the environmental and genetic components of ADHD can help in managing the condition more effectively.
The discussion on the impact of ADHD on career and life satisfaction highlights the importance of finding the right job and making necessary career changes.
The transcript mentions Triple 10, an online educational platform with a high success rate in helping graduates find jobs, as a potential resource for those looking to pivot their careers.
The importance of self-acceptance and understanding the neurodiversity of ADHD is underscored to combat the internalized shame and improve mental well-being.
Transcripts
my brain does not have the capacity to
focus and yet I'm pushing it I pushing
it I pushing it and I yield very little
therefore I must be fundamentally broken
there's a lack of effort you need to
live up to your potential if you just
applied yourself you'd do so much better
where is the flaw where is the flaw
where is the flaw it's inside me it's
inside me it's inside me the reason
people think this way is not because
it's true but because we've been trained
to conceptualize things in that way if
we have ADHD every ADHD at some point
what if I don't really have ADHD what if
I just have a complex series of personal
flaws that map onto ADHD experiences
that are incredibly relatable to other
AD other people with ADHD and every
failing in my life is entirely and
unequivocally my fault forget about ADHD
for a second this is a very common
experience right and this experience
happens for three reasons the first is
that when we have flaws and someone
tells us hey this flaw is due to your
ADHD what our mind actually says is it
responds with this every failing isn't
the ADHD it is entirely and
unequivocally my fault okay so this is
where like we don't like to blame our
ADHD for our problems this is number one
because our understanding of ourselves
is consistent with blaming ourselves so
let's understand literally what happens
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in summary ADHD increases the risk for
depression especially during adolescence
and young adulthood however it is not
well understood why ADHD increases the
risk for depression at this stage so
this is true this actually we figured
out okay so this is a a review paper
that's looking at cognitive mechanisms
underlying depressive disorders in ADHD
a systematic review and this is sort of
looking at how ADHD leads to depression
I have a complex series of personal
flaws that map on to ADHD and every
failing in my life is entirely and
unequivocally my fault and it turns out
that the reason people think this way is
not because it's true but because we've
been trained to conceptualize things in
that way if we have ADHD so here's why
people with ADHD don't think that they
have ADHD they think that they just have
a set of very unique personal problems
and they don't like to blame their ADHD
here's you as a kid and humans are
actually pretty good at estim IQ maybe
that statement is factually incorrect I
don't know but generally speaking like
kids can tell when like another kid is
smart or another kid is dumb this may
change a little bit later once we start
getting phds and we use big words but
generally speaking like you can tell
when someone's stupid right and you can
kind of tell when someone's smart so
kids go to school and there's a group of
kids and we all sort of recognize that
our IQ is in the same ballpark now here
you have a kid with ADHD and you
recognize that I'm a about as smart as
the other kids then what happens is you
look at your performance this kid gets
an a this kid gets a b and I get an f
and there are lots of studies that show
this we we go into a lot of the detailed
research in Dr K's guide to ADHD and
doing stuff it's like super scary so
there's a study that looks at if you
look at kids with ADHD and depression
there's one study that found that if you
get diagnosed with depression first
there is a 3% chance that you will get
diagnosed with ADHD as an adult if you
get diagnosed with depression as a kid
if you get diagnosed with ADHD as a kid
there is a 70% chance that you will have
depression as an adult so now you're a
kid and what we know from ADHD is that
when you are a kid with ADHD often times
it is not diagnosed so ADHD is both the
most underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed
mental illness in my opinion which means
that we diagnose it a ton in people who
don't have it and we diag we miss it a
lot in people who do so this is also
incredibly common for girls so if you're
a girl with ADHD the rate of diagnosis
of girls to boys is 1 to three so three
boys get diagnosed with ADHD for every
one girl gets diagnosed the interesting
thing is that if you look at women to
men this is one: one so how do we
understand this two things one is that
girls usually have a frontal lobe that
is developed one year ahead of their
male counterparts so one study showed
that if you look at a boy who uh a girl
at the age of 10 will have like a
frontal lobe that's about 11.5 years old
versus a boy will have a frontal loobe
that's about 10.5 years old it's
somewhere around 10 years okay so what
that means is that when someone is like
looking at a a boy versus a girl the
girl is like their brains are like one
year more mature another reason for that
we miss diagnose uh girls we miss the
diagnos of ADHD and girls is because the
most common symptom that leads to
diagnosis is hyperactivity and girls are
much less likely to be hyperactive the
third thing that changes is during uh
puberty we get an in increased estrogen
Alters our dopaminergic circuitry and so
we start to see a lot of like
impulsivity and other kinds of like SE
dopamine seeking activity happen more in
women so there's a puberty effect as
well anyway Point here is that this kid
doesn't get diagnosed so when this kid
does get diagnosed I want you all to
think about imagine that you're a
seven-year-old child and you recognize
that you are just as smart as your
friends but you see that there is a huge
performance difference and then on top
of that what happens is your teachers
your parents diagnose you with an effort
problem they said that you just need to
try harder I don't understand why you
can't just study why can't you sit still
why can't you go to bed on time I've
been calling you 15 times you need to
try harder so I think the single most
damaging thing I've seen as a
psychiatrist is when someone is doing
something completely correctly and you
tell them that they are doing it
completely wrong so the single most
damaging thing what really screws people
up for life is when they get taught that
Up Is Down and Down is up so I'll give
you all a simple example of this so
let's say I have abusive parents and I
am doing my best to make them happy
right so I'm actually like being extra
careful I'm trying extra hard I'm
working extra hard I don't want my
parents to yell at me but my parents are
alcoholics and so they're drunk and then
they yell and then they blame me even
when I don't do anything wrong so the
reason that this is so psychologically
damaging is because your brain thinks
that doing the right thing is the wrong
thing and then if you go through life
thinking that the right thing is the
wrong thing it [ __ ] up so many parts of
your life and we see this also I see
this in like romantic relationship ships
right that are abusive where there's
like one partner who's like you do
everything wrong but the person is is
like technically doing everything right
so when you get taught that right is
wrong and that there is no way to
achieve right this creates learned
helplessness this creates a very
confusing way to navigate life because
then the right answer no longer becomes
right you know it's like you you want
you want to know how to [ __ ] up people's
ability to do finance and Mathematics
you tell them 2 plus 2 is 5 and they're
like no I think it's four and you're
like No 2 plus 2 is five 2 plus 2 is
five there's this great scene from Star
Trek TNG basically like in this episode
and this what is what makes Captain
peard such a Chad peard is getting
tortured by the card Kardashians
Kardashians and so basically the guy's
like you know there's four lights and
he's like trying to convince he tortures
peard until peard says there are five
lights so he's like trying to get bicard
to lie so he's like trying to divorce
this person's mind from reality
forite and what I think is is is
hilarious and sad about this is in the
show Captain peard is like very very
Resolute right so he's like very strong
internally so he can resist torture and
the problem with ADHD is it's the exact
opposite so peard is like a
65-year-old you know Starship captain of
the flagship of the Federation and but
when you're like six with ADHD you don't
have the internal fortitude of a
65-year-old fictional character like you
just don't have that internal fortitude
so when the rest of the world tells you
that you need to be working harder it
really messes you up you you begin to
learn that 2+ 2 is 5 you begin to learn
because everyone around is telling you
everyone around you is telling you that
you're screwing up and you need to put
forth more effort right so let's say
that what you see in other people is you
see that they have an IQ of 100 and they
get an A you have an IQ of 100 plus X
but you get an F so what do you conclude
here you conclude that X must be some
large negative number and this is
literally what happens that we have
studies on this so then what happens is
you you begin to believe that you have
some kind of deficit there is something
wrong with me there is something
fundamentally broken and when there's
something wrong with me and
fundamentally broken this belief is what
contributes to the depression so what
happens is people with ADHD carry they
have this learned belief of Shame and
that there's something I am put putting
forth so much effort because my brain
does not have the capacity to focus and
yet I'm pushing it I pushing it I am
pushing it and I yield very little
therefore I must be fundamentally broken
this mathematical equation is what I see
time and time and time again with ADHD
and now what happens is you carry this
belief even though it's not true that
you have a broken something that is
always with you and when you have a
broken something then what happens is
you look at your life and you say I I am
broken there's something every failing
is my life in my life is entirely and
unequivocally my fault this is what this
is what happened so this is a
consequence of ADHD if you doubt your
ADHD in this way this is the consequence
of ADHD and why do you believe this it's
because when you were failing no one
said something else is wrong right the
blame got placed on you there's a lack
of effort you need to live up to your
potential if you just applied yourself
you do so much better where is the flaw
where is the flaw where is the flaw it's
inside me it's inside me it's inside me
and what happens with these kids it's
super sad because at some point the kid
may try to talk to the parent and say
like I know I'm smart but they don't
know how to articulate like I don't know
what's wrong with me sometimes they'll
say that right actually that's what they
say literally they say I don't know
what's wrong with me but there is
something wrong with you you've got ADHD
right you're a neurodiverse individual
trying to succeed in a neurotypical
world so there's even some evidence when
we look at sort of the the stress
diathesis model of illness what it
presumes is that illness is the the
result of an environment plus like a
genetic risk right so it's not even that
something is objectively wrong with you
it is that there is an environmental
component to the manifestation of
disease so you can look at someone who
has a predisposition for alcohol and
then you can give them stressful
circumstances you can give them trauma
you can even start them on an SSRI or
anti-depressant medication so even the
com the idea that no this is not ADHD
this is something that what if I have a
complex of personal flaws that map on to
ADHD you all see how absurd that is but
this is the way that the Mind thinks and
why does the Mind think this way because
it was taught to think that way because
as a kid you may have asked or wondered
I don't know what's wrong with me and no
one actually took that question
seriously no one sat down and did did a
differential diagnosis no one stopped to
think what could be wrong with this kid
and instead what we get told live up to
your potential so there's like this this
complex that develops in the mind of
someone who has ADHD where they think
there's just something like these are
all my personal flaws and I have to own
them a lot because that's what you were
taught you were taught to blame yourself
and chances are parents don't let you
make excuses right so they're like no
you can't make excuses this is your
fault now there are a lot of good
parents out there who do allow their
children to make excuses those are the
kids that get diagnosed those are the
kids that don't wind up with depression
right remember that the comorbidity
between ADHD and depression is somewhere
around 30% right so still there's 70% of
people out there who don't wind up with
depression some amount of luck some
amount of genetics some amount of like
whatever the cognitive mechanisms are um
then that that you know underly the two
if you dodge that bullet then you're
you're in good shape the last thing to
consider about this this like shame that
of ADHD is experiences that are
incredibly relatable to other people
with ADHD right so you've got like oh
people say they have ADHD and I have it
too like I experiened the same thing but
I'm not willing to diagnose myself with
ADHD and you shouldn't diagnose yourself
you should go go get a clinical
evaluation but you know this is exactly
what it looks like this is the
manifestation of the
shame I I don't I mean it's possible
that you have a collection of things
that perfectly overlap with ADHD relate
to other people's experiences with ADHD
and you still don't accept that you have
it I think that's completely like normal
I I don't think it's correct but it's a
very very common experience and it's
because of this shame complex you know
some people are saying tooking getting
on ADHD meds took away more than half of
my depression almost immediately so
that's uh that can absolutely happen so
a lot of medic I mean medication for
ADHD is incredibly effective and it is
also doesn't work doesn't is not a
miracle for like a lot of people out
there so for some people they see
instant benefits there's also Euphoria
component to stimulant medication which
I think elevates people's mood and and
you someone else is saying short acting
focal messes me up more than than taking
nothing yeah so like that's like really
common is that there's a highly variable
effect especially for women female side
of pharmacotherapy for ADHD a systematic
review several sex differences are
demonstrated in the prescription usage
and efficacy effectiveness of both
stimulant and non-stimulant ADHD
pharmacotherapy a single daily use of
this is probably methylphenidate may
possibly not be optimal for girls with
ADHD and atomoxetine may be a promising
medication for girls and women with ADHD
and the reason for that is really simple
is I want youall to think a little bit
about how ADHD drugs are developed so
what is the most what is the symptom or
sign it's really a sign that correlates
the most with ADHD diagnosis is it it is
hyperactivity and so what do we what do
we really look for what makes a parent
or a teacher happy with a medicated
child it is the reduction of
hyperactivity right so the kid [ __ ]
sits in their seat the kid stays seated
during dinner the kid isn't running
around all over the place thank God
they're finally medicated for their ADHD
so when when you're when this is the
main sign that we're looking to treat
and then we develop a stimulant
medication turns out stimulants are very
good at dealing with hyperactivity the
problem is that hyperactivity is more
common in boys than in girls so the
medication was developed specifically
for and not specifically for
hyperactivity but that's a huge part of
the efficacy of the medication and it
applies more to boys than girls so so
the mileage for girls varies quite a bit
[Music]
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