Você foi ensinado a SE CALAR antes mesmo de aprender a FALAR, e isso ainda te afeta - Gabor Maté

Summary

This video script explores the profound impact of emotional silencing from early childhood. It highlights how repressed emotions, such as anger, sadness, and fear, manifest later in life, often disguised as anxiety, chronic pain, or emotional outbursts. Drawing from the teachings of B. A. Bormaté and Gabor Maté, the script emphasizes the importance of listening to and embracing one's repressed emotions to heal from past traumas. The path to healing involves reconnecting with our authentic selves, accepting vulnerability, and breaking free from the silence that has shaped us. True healing is not about overcoming pain but allowing it space to transform.

Takeaways

• 😀 Babies communicate through emotions, cries, and expressions, not words, and these early signals form the basis of their understanding of the world.
• 😀 Emotional silencing begins early in life, when caregivers dismiss or reprimand natural emotional responses, leading children to internalize that feelings are dangerous.
• 😀 The core lesson learned through emotional silencing is that feelings should be suppressed and repressed, leading to long-term difficulties in expressing emotions.
• 😀 Trauma is not only found in specific events but in the emotional experiences that could not be fully expressed or processed, especially during childhood.
• 😀 The absence of emotional validation in childhood creates an internalized belief that one's feelings are wrong, fostering emotional repression into adulthood.
• 😀 As adults, people may struggle with expressing pain, seeking help, or acknowledging their emotions due to early emotional silencing.
• 😀 Emotions that are repressed manifest physically, with unexpressed anger, sadness, and fear showing up as chronic irritability, apathy, and anxiety.
• 😀 The fear of expressing emotions can stem from learned behaviors passed down through generations, where emotional suppression was used as a survival mechanism.
• 😀 Healing starts with listening to oneself and identifying repressed emotions, as well as understanding why certain situations trigger strong emotional responses.
• 😀 True emotional healing involves accepting vulnerability, breaking the cycle of silence, and allowing oneself to feel and express emotions authentically.

Q & A

Why do babies begin their emotional development with expressions, cries, movements, and looks instead of words?

Babies start with these instinctive forms of communication because they haven't developed language yet. These early signals are essential for building the notion of the world around them and are the first signs of emotional life that seeks to connect.

What is the impact of emotional silencing on a child's emotional development?

Emotional silencing, such as ignoring or reprimanding a child's feelings, leads to repression of emotional expression. This suppresses the child's ability to connect with their emotions and learn to express them, setting the stage for emotional difficulties in adulthood.

What does B. A. Bormaté teach about trauma and its effects on emotional development?

B. A. Bormaté emphasizes that trauma is not only about what happened, but also about what could not happen, such as not being allowed to fully feel. The most significant childhood trauma may be the absence of emotional validation and support.

How does emotional silencing carry over into adulthood?

As adults, individuals who experienced emotional silencing in childhood may struggle with vulnerability, often hiding their emotions or suppressing them. They may engage in behaviors like constant distraction or excessive productivity to avoid confronting their feelings.

How do societal patterns contribute to the cycle of emotional silencing?

Generations of emotionally silenced individuals pass on the fear of expressing feelings. This fear becomes an invisible inheritance, where emotional repression is learned and perpetuated across generations, reinforcing the pattern of suppressing emotions.

What physical symptoms can arise from emotional silencing?

Repressed emotions can manifest in physical symptoms like chronic pain, anxiety, migraines, or digestive issues. The body stores unprocessed emotions, which can later appear as physical discomfort or illness.

What is Gabor Maté's perspective on the connection between emotional silencing and physical health?

Gabor Maté suggests that emotional repression and trauma are stored in the body, which later expresses itself through physical symptoms. The body 'screams' what the soul keeps quiet, meaning unprocessed emotions often result in physical illness.

What is the key to emotional healing according to Gabor Maté?

Healing begins with listening to oneself—acknowledging repressed emotions and allowing them to be expressed. This process involves compassion, presence, and breaking the cycle of emotional silencing learned in childhood.

How does the need for control relate to emotional silencing and its consequences?

The need for control arises from the fear that repressed emotions will surface if things are not kept in order. This fear leads individuals to suppress vulnerability, distancing themselves from their authentic selves, which can result in isolation and emotional disconnection.

How can one break free from the cycle of emotional silencing and regain authenticity?

Breaking the cycle begins by acknowledging and listening to one's emotions without judgment. Relearning vulnerability, allowing oneself to be seen by others, and embracing imperfection are essential steps in reclaiming authenticity and emotional freedom.