Attracting Her Back After I Acted Crazy, Jealous & Insecure
Summary
TLDRDieses Video-Coaching-Newsletter behandelt das Thema 'Wie man eine Frau zurückzieht, nachdem man eifersüchtig und unsicher gehandelt hat'. Coach Corey Wayne erzählt die Geschichte eines Mannes, der durch eifersüchtige Ausbrüche und Alkoholprobleme sein Beziehungsverhalten ruiniert hat. Der Mann in seiner späten Dreißig, der mit seiner Freundin gelebt hat, hat ständig Misstrauen und Ausfälle gezeigt, was schließlich zum Bruch führte. Wayne empfiehlt, das Buch 'Three Percent Man' zu lesen und die Prinzipien anzuwenden, um sein Verhalten zu korrigieren und wieder attraktiv zu werden. Ohne Verhaltensänderung ist eine Wiedervereinigung unwahrscheinlich.
Takeaways
- 😔 Die Hauptbotschaft des Skripts ist, dass Verhaltensänderung notwendig ist, um eine Beziehung erfolgreich zu führen oder wiederherzustellen.
- 🔑 Das Verhalten des Mannes im Skript, der eifersüchtig, besessen und unsicher ist, hat zu seiner Trennung beigetragen.
- 📚 Corey Wayne empfiehlt das Lesen des Buches 'Three Percent Man' als einen Schritt zur Verhaltensänderung.
- 🚫 Der Mann im Skript sollte aufhören, eifersüchtig und abhängig zu sein, um seine Attraktivität für Frauen zu steigern.
- 💔 Die Frau im Skript hat die Beziehung beendet, nachdem sie genug von dem unangenehmen Verhalten des Mannes ertragen hat.
- 🤔 Corey Wayne diskutiert die möglichen Gründe für das Verhalten der Frau, einschließlich möglicher Selbstwertprobleme oder Kodependency.
- 🚫 Der Mann sollte nicht erwarten, dass die Frau zurückkehrt, solange er das gleiche unattraktive Verhalten beibehält.
- 👋 Die Trennung erfolgte nach einem Streit, bei dem der Mann die Frau vor Freunden beschimpft und in Verlegenheit bringt.
- 🛑 Corey Wayne betont, dass der Mann eine 'Neuansage' benötigt, um eine Beziehung wiederherzustellen, und das bedeutet, sein Verhalten zu ändern.
- 🌐 Die physische Distanz zwischen dem Mann und der Frau, die jetzt in Hawaii lebt, macht die Wiedervereinigung noch schwieriger.
- 💬 Der Mann sollte eine 'No-Contact-Regel' anwenden und sich auf die Verbesserung seiner Fähigkeiten und das Verständnis der Prinzipien aus dem Buch konzentrieren.
Q & A
Was ist das Thema des Videocoaching-Newsletters von Coach Corey Wayne?
-Das Thema des Newsletters ist das Anziehen seiner Ex-Freundin zurück, nachdem er eifersüchtig, verrückt und unsicher gehandelt hat.
Was ist ein 'Jack In The Box' im Kontext des Newsletters?
-Ein 'Jack In The Box' ist ein Mann, der ständig seine Fassade verliert und aus Versehen kommt, ähnlich wie die Figur in einer Jack-in-the-Box Spielzeug, die plötzlich herausspringt.
Wie alt ist der Mann, von dem Corey Wayne in seinem Newsletter spricht?
-Der Mann ist in seinen späten 30ern und hat mit seiner Freundin in den letzten anderthalb Jahren gelebt.
Was war das Hauptproblem in der Beziehung des Mannes?
-Das Hauptproblem war, dass der Mann eifersüchtig, verrückt und unsicher war, er wurde betrunken und beschuldigte seine Freundin ständig, ihn zu betrügen.
Wo hat die Freundin des Mannes zurückgezogen?
-Die Freundin hat nach Hawaii zurückgezogen, um mit ihrer Familie zu sein.
Was hat Coach Corey Wayne dem Mann als erstes Empfehlung gegeben, um seine Ex-Freundin zurückzugewinnen?
-Coach Corey Wayne empfiehlt dem Mann, das Buch 'Three Percent Man' zu lesen, um sein Verhalten zu ändern und attraktiver zu werden.
Was ist die Meinung von Coach Corey Wayne über das Verhalten des Mannes in der Beziehung?
-Coach Corey Wayne findet das Verhalten des Mannes absolut abscheulich und erschreckend, da er ständig unruhig und eifersüchtig war, was keine Frau ertragen würde.
Was hat der Mann in seiner Beziehung als 'Männlichkeit' vermisst?
-Der Mann hat in seiner Beziehung eine Ruhe und Gelassenheit vermisst, die typisch für Männlichkeit ist, stattdessen war er ständig aufgeregt und eifersüchtig.
Was hat Coach Corey Wayne über das Verhalten der Freundin des Mannes gesagt?
-Coach Corey Wayne vermutet, dass die Freundin selbstbewusstseinsschwierigkeiten hatte und annahm, dass sie auf diese Art und Weise behandelt werden sollte, da sie die Beziehung so lange ertrug.
Was hat der Mann in seinem letzten Versuch, mit seiner Ex-Freundin zu sprechen, getan?
-Der Mann hat versucht, Kontakt zu halten, indem er ihr half, ihre Sachen zu packen, und sie bat, nicht auf ihn zu warten und dass die Trennung unwiderruflich sei.
Was ist die Empfehlung von Coach Corey Wayne für den Mann, wenn er seine Ex-Freundin zurückhaben möchte?
-Coach Corey Wayne empfiehlt dem Mann, das Buch zu lesen, sein Verhalten zu ändern und sich auf andere Frauen zu konzentrieren, um seine Fähigkeiten zu verbessern, falls seine Ex-Freundin zurückkehren sollte.
Outlines
😔 Beziehungsprobleme durch Eifersucht und Unsicherheit
Der erste Absatz beschäftigt sich mit einem Fall von Beziehungsproblemen, die durch eifersüchtige und unsichere Verhaltensweisen des Mannes entstanden sind. Er war in der Lage, seine Emotionen nicht zu kontrollieren und verlor oft die Kontrolle, insbesondere wenn er betrunken war. Die Situation verschlechterte sich, als seine Partnerin, nach zweieinhalb Jahren dieser Beziehung, ihre Sachen packte und zurück nach Hawaii zog, um bei ihrer Familie zu sein. Der Mann suchte nach Rat, wie er seine Partnerin zurückziehen könnte, und wurde vorgeschlagen, das Buch 'Three Percent Man' zu lesen, um sein Verhalten zu verändern und attraktiver zu werden.
😠 Unzulängliches Verhalten und Konsequenzen
In diesem Absatz wird die unzureichende Kommunikation und das ständige Misstrauen des Mannes thematisiert, das zu wiederholten Auseinandersetzungen führte. Er beschreibt, wie er seiner Partnerin vorgeworfen hat, ihm untreu zu sein, obwohl es unklar ist, ob diese Vorwürfe berechtigt waren. Der Absatz betont die Wichtigkeit, Vertrauen und Grenzen in einer Beziehung zu etablieren und wie das Fehlen dieser Elemente zu einer ungesunden und unattraktiven Beziehung führen kann.
😢 Der Weg zur Trennung und der Versuch der Annäherung
Der dritte Absatz erzählt die Geschichte von der Trennung und den Bemühungen des Mannes, die Beziehung wiederherzustellen. Nach einem groben Streit, bei dem er sie wegen Flirtens beschimpfte, entschied sie sich für die Trennung. Obwohl sie kurzzeitig zusammen war, entschied sie sich schließlich, in eine kurzfristige Mietwohnung zu ziehen. Der Mann beschreibt seine emotionale Reaktion auf diese Ereignisse und seine Hoffnung, dass Distanz und Zeit hilfreich sein könnten.
😞 Ratlosigkeit und der letzte Versuch der Annäherung
In diesem letzten Absatz drückt der Mann seine Verzweiflung und sein Gefühl der Zerstörung aus, nachdem seine Partnerin die Stadt verlassen hat. Er reflektiert über seine Bemühungen, Kontakt zu ihr aufrechtzuerhalten und die Hoffnung, dass sie möglicherweise zurückkehren möchte. Er empfiehlt, das Buch zu lesen, um sein Verhalten zu verändern, und betont, dass er seine Fähigkeiten verbessern muss, um eine erfolgreiche Beziehung führen zu können, falls es zu einer Wiedervereinigung kommt.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Jack in the Box
💡Eifersucht
💡Unsicherheit
💡Kommunikation
💡Beratung
💡Selbstwert
💡Ko-Abhängigkeit
💡Verhaltensänderung
💡Respekt
💡Grenzen setzen
💡Kommunikationsfähigkeit
💡Persönlichkeitsstörung
💡Selbstreflexion
💡Verantwortung
💡Bewährungsprozess
Highlights
Coach Corey Wayne discusses the challenge of attracting a partner back after exhibiting jealousy and insecurity.
The concept of a 'Jack In The Box' is introduced, describing someone who frequently loses control and gets triggered.
A case study is presented involving a man in his late 30s who has driven his girlfriend away through abusive behavior.
The importance of not expecting a partner to tolerate poor behavior indefinitely is emphasized.
The possibility that the girlfriend may have self-esteem issues due to staying in an abusive relationship is considered.
The role of codependency in relationships and its potential impact on the case study is explored.
Coach Corey Wayne advises reading 'The 3% Man' as a crucial step for those serious about improving their behavior.
The damaging effects of constant jealousy and insecurity on relationships are highlighted.
A discussion on the importance of trust and emotional maturity in maintaining a healthy relationship.
The man's realization of his behavior's consequences and his struggle with grief is shared.
Coach Corey Wayne stresses the need for a complete behavioral change to avoid repeating past mistakes.
The man's actions during a birthday party that led to a breakup are recounted, illustrating the depth of his issues.
The importance of not begging or groveling after a breakup and focusing on self-improvement is underlined.
The man's attempts to reconnect with his ex and her responses, indicating a final breakup, are detailed.
Coach Corey Wayne critiques the man's approach to trying to win back his ex, labeling it as ineffective and desperate.
The final advice given is to learn from the book, apply the teachings, and improve one's dating skills with other women.
The transcript concludes with a reminder to book a coaching session for personalized help.
Transcripts
hi I'm Coach Corey Wayne and this is my
video coaching newsletter and the topic
of today's newsletter is going to be
attracting her back
after I acted crazy jealous and insecure
well I've got an email today this is
from a guy who is a classic case
of being a Jack In The Box
and what is a jack-in-the-box it's like
guy who constantly loses his [ __ ] and
gets triggered he also would get drunk
so this particular guy he says he's in
his late 30s and he'd been living with
his girlfriend for the past year and a
half
and he acted jealous crazy like a
jealous crazy insecure [ __ ] as he puts
it
he get drunk he'd get abusive he was
constantly accusing her of cheating on
him now there may be something to it
maybe she was doing things
to push his buttons because all women do
this
but
you cannot behave this way and expect
your girl to stick around forever and so
what's happened now is she got to the
point
after about two and a half years and
she's like she packed her stuff she
moved back to Hawaii to be with her
family so she's a six hour six hours
away from by plane from where he lives
now
he's like how do I get her back
so this is not an easy case to get her
back because she's now living a plane
ride away we're gonna cross the ocean
so let's see we can see because you do
not want to act this way and quite
frankly I'm amazed at this girl stuck
around
so long and put up with this stuff so it
would tell me more likely she probably
has some self-esteem issues because deep
down she thought she deserved to be
treated this way and that's why she put
up with it and kept making excuses maybe
there's some codependency going on there
as well which you guys can all read
about
people that are codependent tend to have
people in their family that they grew up
with making excuses for they had drug or
alcohol addiction problems
or whatever and then they get in
relationships with people that they're
trying to fix that they're trying to
save or like oh he'd be the perfect guy
if I could just fix this one thing
so let's see we can do to potentially
help this guy out or if else he needs to
put a fork in it and consider he's toast
because it's pretty hard to come back
from stuff like this but they parted on
good terms and it's obvious that she
still does care but she's she's leaving
she's had enough every woman's got their
breaking point and she reached hers
he says coach I just lost a great one
having trouble grieving this as it's a
total [ __ ] dagger to the heart and
could have easily
been avoided I'm looking for advice on
getting her back well first and foremost
if you're serious about getting her back
you need to read three percent man if
you're not interested in doing that I
can't help you you're like especially
with your behavior your behavior is
absolutely disgusting and it's appalling
and no woman is going to stick around if
you're going to act this way masculinity
is calm and you've been the opposite of
calm you've been a constant drunk Jack
in the Box for the whole time of your
relationship and it's like nobody's
gonna put up with that crap you just
cannot behave that way and have a good
relationship or even good friendships
for that matter
he says I'm in my late 30s and I had
been dating one of the better women I've
ever met we dated for a year before
moving in together the past year and a
half
I acted like a jealous crazy insecure
[ __ ] for the entirety of the
relationship and never listened to what
she wanted
that is a bad way to go in other words
you were constantly communicating that
you were an incompetent man you were
emotionally immature you were a man baby
and you constantly threw temper tantrums
like a five-year-old it's extremely
unattractive but the one caveat I will
say is that you can apply what's in the
book and you can be the best boyfriend
or best husband in the world and if you
did a shitty job of vetting your girl
and you're with somebody that's a bum
[ __ ] and she's got a lot of character
flaws
well that's you can't make good wine
from Bad grapes but that's what's inside
I'm assuming that you had a good girl
and she treated you properly
and she was a great girl and you're
wanting to get her back but
I said you could be the best boyfriend
in the world if she's a bomb [ __ ] she's
gonna cheat on you and there's nothing
you can do
so getting crazy and losing your [ __ ]
and freaking out over girls because
you're you want women to trust you you
want them to feel safe and comfortable
with you to the point where they think
they got you
and if you're in a relationship or
you're dating somebody that's got
character flaws they're gonna lie you're
gonna catch them in their lies and then
you're going to catch them doing things
that are totally inappropriate and then
when you set healthy boundaries they'll
continue to violate them
but if you're a Jack In The Box and
you're losing your top constantly and
you're constantly jealous and you're
with somebody that's a bum [ __ ] and has
character flaws she's going to do an
excellent job of hiding all that [ __ ]
from you and you won't find out for a
very long time
and then when you try to leave it's
gonna be a lot harder because you're
going to be in love with the fantasy of
who you thought she was while you're
ignoring the reality
so he says she's very understanding very
chill independent successful and pretty
some of the craziness I showed her leads
me to believe that now she's officially
packed up and left she'd never give me
another chance so it's possible
as I talk about some pretzels to get an
ex back the article and video I did
years ago and I talk about my book is
like you should assume it's over and
you'll probably never hear from her
again
what you need to do is be reading the
book and applying it to clean up your
unattractive Behavior because this will
make you attractive to women everywhere
not just potentially the ex because if
you don't correct this you will drive
away the next chick the next good woman
that you meet for exactly the same
reasons because you're constantly losing
your [ __ ] and you're a jack-in-the-box
everybody in our Corner would be right
to tell her to run for the hills because
of my actions two months ago we had our
final fight that destroyed our
relationship in a fit of drunk jealousy
I berated and embarrassed her in front
of some friends for flirting at a
friend's birthday party which led to a
larger fight caused by me later that
night and me kicking her out of our
apartment
well so if she's flirting with another
guy was she flirting or just talking to
him does she give out her number to
other men
does she play with her hair when she's
talking to them she touched their arm
does she hang out and go on one-on-one
happy hours friendly happy hours with
the co-workers I don't know
but obviously he's getting jealous
because she's flirting was she actually
flirting I don't know maybe there's
something to it I can't tell because
this has been this guy's pattern
constantly and so maybe there was
nothing there maybe the reason he was
flirting was because he could tell that
she's just not that into him and was
totally tired of his crap and so anytime
she looked at a guy or talked to another
guy he just assumed she was cheating
because he he could tell that her
attention was not on him
but the bottom line is even if that may
be the case that's unattractive in
general you cannot be that way again you
want her to feel like you totally trust
her implicitly so you can catch her
inner lies and if you catch her in lies
you catch her doing ratchet things then
you will learn that you've got a girl
that's just not capable of loyalty
that's incapable of keeping her pants on
basically that's what you're trying to
find out is is she gonna honor her
commitment to me yes or no
will she tell me the truth all the time
yes or no will she flirt with other guys
and invite their attention or when other
guys come and hit on her she'll say oh
that's my boyfriend over there he's the
love of my life
I can't give you my phone number sorry
because you're not always going to be
around your girl and if she's loyal and
she's faithful and a guy hits on her
she's gonna be like I got a boyfriend
can't do it sorry not interested
but if she's disloyal she'll give out
her phone number and they go oh it's
just a friendly thing
and think there's nothing wrong with it
and keep doing it even after you've
talked to her about it
so he says from that point on it had
been over I got her to come back to the
apartment the next day but I could tell
that it was from her end that it was it
from her end
after several similar albeit not as
intense fights over the two and a half
years
she was all but done a week or so after
that fight she flew home to Hawaii to
get space
which obviously means she's feeling
smothered by you and be with her friends
and family which lasted two weeks
when she came back every little thing I
did bothered her and she ended up
telling me after a small disagreement
that it was over the first night she
returned yeah if you're still fighting
with her it's like
and more likely a lot of the fights are
stemming from the fact that she's not
paying attention to him and he can tell
that she's not giving her heart to him
willingly anymore so now he's having to
beg for it and be angry and upset he's
like the little boy that didn't get any
attaboys for Mommy so this guy's
definitely got some mommy issues here
you must love in such a way that the
person you love feels free is Tick net
Han said and she definitely did not feel
free
from that point forward we live together
without any intimacy six weeks or so
and she still tried to make it work
she ended up going back home for another
week and then she returned the
resistance was stronger and ultimately a
strong a small disagreement led to her
telling me this was done she needed
space and was moving out into a
short-term rental down the street it
didn't matter what I said she was
leaving yeah I mean Elvis had left the
building
you can only get upset at her so many
times before she's just like that's it
I've had it
when I left for a nine-day work trip she
moved out the next day which was planned
but she left some boxes in our guest
bedroom
I still thought as long as she was just
a few blocks away if I gave her time and
space worked on myself I'd have a shot
the first few days it was tough to go
into the no contact route as I had to
tell her when she was receiving packages
at our building
eventually I was able to apply the no
contact for four days and then she did
reach out to me about something minor
and irrelevant and I felt like I won a
game and then the next day she reached
out again to tell me that we needed to
get together when I was back as she was
planning on heading out of town and
heading back home to Hawaii for a bit to
clear her mind
you just imagine this guy's just
constant Relentless
constant Jack in the Box
I didn't know what to think so I was
obviously anxious to see her and hear
her plan
the day I got back she texted me that
she had to come by to close up the boxes
as they were being picked up on Thursday
by a moving company which had me
wandering further as to what her real
plan and intentions were well she's
leaving you she told you she was leaving
you she's in the process of leaving you
and you didn't want to believe it
believe it and on top of that you still
continued to act like a jackass
a jackass Jack in the Box
she came over last Wednesday and as soon
as she walked in and locked our eyes on
me she started crying and then I did as
well we hugged and she asked me how I
was doing and told me she was a mess
with everything going on been implied
more so due to the wildfires in her
hometown in Hawaii
obviously he's talking about Maui
than us but I believe it's a combination
of both after the first set of emotions
were gone she explained that she was
moving back home to be with her friends
family and Community through these tough
times
the reality is she's not in love with
you she lost attraction and she just
wanted to get the [ __ ] away
because all you do is make her feel
miserable when you're with her
whatever you cause a woman to feel when
she's with you is what she's going to
associate with being with you
and so every time I got together what
did he do he got upset at her
I was like who wants to put up with that
day in and day out
she told me not to wait for her that
this was a breakup and she was most
likely not returning to the state
I helped her pack what was left over
stuff I broke down to her multiple times
and we ended up hanging out on the couch
a bit kissed her a bunch grabbed food
with her and went back to her place to
hang out
after leaving her apartment on my walk
home I texted her how I felt about
seeing her to which she replied I do
miss you and a follow-up I love you that
felt good
the next day was a bit different as that
was the day the movers were coming to
pick up her boxes and this would sever
all ties to her and her condo again I
got emotional we hung out all day ran
errands grabbed a bite went back to her
place tonight she was tired and didn't
really want to hang out or hear my
emotional plea and eventually said bye
to me yeah she's she's had enough dude
and you begging and pleading and chasing
after and groveling again dude if you're
serious you gotta read the book I mean
come on you're watching videos but
cherry picking and copy and pasting is
not going to fix this Pro you need to
radically change your behavior and start
acting like an attractive man not a butt
hurt [ __ ] baby dude no woman is going
to want a guy that behaves this way
you're a [ __ ] total child
she officially left town yesterday and
texted me thanks for everything I know
what you're feeling be good to yourself
you lead a good life enjoy it and I love
you
I replied back that I loved her and to
take care of herself I'm beyond crushed
but accountable and FYI I sent her
mother flowers with a nice note which
she'll receive next week that's not
going to save your relationship dude
maybe you gotta apologize to your mom
because maybe you were a dick to her mom
I don't know but
I mean that's just a bribe for sex in a
relationship and it looks pathetic to be
honest with you unless you did something
to piss off Mom it's a nice gesture to
apologize but more than likely you're
just groveling and hoping you can get
the mom on your side and she'll talk her
daughter into coming back for more abuse
it's obviously Super Fresh but asking
for advice in the next steps and hoping
to attract your back become a serious
student read the book or unsubscribe and
go away because if you're not going to
read the book and you're not going to
apply what's in seven principles within
ax back you got no chance dude there's
absolutely no chance even if she was
open to talking to you potentially the
first time you get butter she'll be gone
again
she has to encounter the new you the
dude that acts like the guys to that are
in my book the guys that read the book
10 15 20 30 times whatever happens to be
and have all the great success stories
that I've covered over the years you not
reading the book and just cherry picking
the videos I'm
you are 100 guaranteed to lose her
forever she may be gone forever there's
I mean she's left the state so the
chances it's going to work out are slim
to none and what you should be doing is
reading the book and applying it and
getting improving your skills with other
women so if she does come back you're a
different guy
and she'll even say where was this guy
two years ago what happened where did
this guy come from
assuming the only play is to do the no
content yeah it's like she left you you
don't keep chasing somebody who's left
you you begged and you groveled for the
last two months and where did that get
you I'm leaving the state
well you begged grovel then you got
angry at her but she still left
if she reaches out is your advice try to
set up a trip to see her and if so how
soon and how would you phrase it would
it be a six hour flight so
if she reaches out in a couple of weeks
do a video date and then just say hey
you know I'd love it if you came to stay
for the weekend and hung out
that'd be great to see you and she's no
I don't think that's a good idea I was
like all right well call me if you
change your mind
I'm gonna run talk to you later
and then
just like I talk about instead pretzel
good next Packer she calls a few weeks
later and you talk again ask her to come
visit she says no then you're just gonna
say hey
well if you ever want to see me again
and rekindle things that would be great
get in touch but otherwise there's
really no point in US continuing to talk
I don't want to be a friend I don't want
to be a digital pen pal I want to see
you romantically and fix our
relationship and work on a relationship
if you don't want to do that then you
got to let me go and I'm Gonna Let You
Go and we're gonna wish each other the
best
and so you should be following the
script it's right out of seven pretzels
again and expect it's all laid out
there's I don't have a copy and paste
solution there's not a magic phrase
that's going to fix this your behavior
has been absolutely disgusting
unmasculine
and totally atrocious
and so the thought of her coming back
flip a coin it could go either way but I
would say the odds are not in your favor
but you never know because you spent a
couple years together if you just let
her be
she knows you want to work it out but
it's not you can't work anything out
unless she's willing to
and if she's not willing to work it out
it's like it's over dude
your goal should be to learn my material
as quickly as possible put the audiobook
on two speed follow along a digital or
physical copy while you're doing that
you can get through the book in four
hours and then she you should be
relentlessly applying it with all the
women that you're meeting and get out
there I know you don't feel like it but
get back in the game and start meeting
and dating other women so you can
improve your skills
so if your ex does reach out it does
come to see you she gets a good version
of you an attractive version to you not
this you know beta male [ __ ] that she's
been encountering for the last two and a
half years your game has to be a hundred
percent tight you cannot blow your top
or get upset or mad or angry with her at
all every time you do that you put
another nail in the coffin that confirms
to her that she made the right decision
by leaving your ass
so if you've got a question or Challenge
and you'd like to get my help go to
understandulationships.com click the
products tab at the top of your screen
and book a coaching session with yours
truly until next time I will talk to you
soon
[Music]
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