Empowering Women Benefits Everyone | Jane Sojka | TEDxUCincinnati

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker explores the gender disparity in negotiating job offers and how it impacts women's career growth. She highlights the challenges women face, such as fear of failure, lack of resilience, and the internalized Cinderella complex. Through a professional sales class designed for women, the speaker teaches strategies to overcome these obstacles and build confidence. The results show that women can improve their confidence and resilience to the level of men. The key message is that empowering women benefits everyone, and confidence is a teachable skill that can be learned by all.

Takeaways

• 😀 Women are significantly less likely to negotiate their first job compared to men, with only 7% of women asking for more than what was offered.
• 😀 The gender pay gap is partially driven by the lack of negotiation among women, which compounds over a long career.
• 😀 Women often don't negotiate due to the fear of failure, stemming from societal expectations or personal insecurities.
• 😀 The Cinderella complex suggests women may feel that if they are 'good enough,' rewards will come without asking for them.
• 😀 Women tend to have a greater fear of failure than men, which discourages them from taking risks like negotiating or applying for high-level positions.
• 😀 Resilience is critical in overcoming failure. Men often continue to take risks after setbacks, while women may become discouraged.
• 😀 Failure is not something to fear but should be seen as a courageous act. Stepping out of your comfort zone is valuable regardless of the outcome.
• 😀 Confidence is a teachable skill, and it can be developed through strategic practices and mental shifts.
• 😀 Women can change their internal narrative by replacing self-criticism with empowering messages and questioning the validity of negative tapes put in their minds by others.
• 😀 Practicing failure and resilience can help individuals build confidence, as demonstrated by a class where women gained the same level of resiliency as men and increased their confidence in sales.
• 😀 Empowering women benefits everyone, as confident individuals—both men and women—can help uplift those around them, creating a win-win situation for all involved.

Q & A

What statistic about job negotiation in college students did the speaker find disturbing?

The speaker found it disturbing that only 7% of women negotiate their first job offer, compared to 57% of men.

Why does the speaker think the statistic about women not negotiating their job offers is troubling?

The speaker finds the statistic troubling because it reflects a gender gap in pay and suggests that women are not advocating for themselves in the job market.

What does the speaker believe contributes to the gender pay gap?

The speaker believes the gender pay gap is partly due to women not negotiating their job offers, which leads to smaller starting salaries that accumulate into a significant difference over time.

According to the speaker, whose responsibility is it to ask for more in job negotiations?

The speaker emphasizes that it is the individual's responsibility, particularly women, to ask for what they want in job negotiations and not to blame men for this issue.

What psychological factor did the speaker identify as a reason why women may not negotiate their job offers?

The speaker mentions the 'Cinderella complex,' where women might believe that being good and making people happy will eventually lead to rewards, but this approach works better in fairytales than in real life.

What role does fear of failure play in why women might not negotiate or apply for higher positions?

The speaker explains that women often have a greater fear of failure than men, which may lead them to avoid taking risks such as negotiating salaries or applying for higher positions to avoid failure.

How did the speaker personally overcome her own fear of failure?

The speaker shares an experience where she almost left a tenure-track position out of fear of not getting tenure but ultimately overcame this fear with the support of her department head, which led to her achieving tenure.

What does the speaker say about resiliency and how it differs between men and women?

The speaker suggests that women tend to be less resilient than men, as they may give up more easily after failure, whereas men tend to keep trying despite setbacks, particularly in competitive environments like basketball.

How does the speaker recommend people change their negative self-talk when they fail?

The speaker advises people to 'change the tape in their head,' meaning they should stop being so harsh on themselves and recognize that they wouldn't speak that way to a friend or loved one.

What did the speaker's course for women in professional selling teach, and what were the results?

The speaker's course aimed to teach women how to overcome their fear of failure and build resiliency. The results showed that the women in the course gained confidence and resiliency, closing the gender gap in these areas.