'Strange' experiment reveals how f*kboys get women

Summary

In a 1972 study at a California Maximum Security Prison, two inmates were instructed to gain respect differently: one through kindness and the other through strength first, followed by kindness. The results showed that kindness before strength was seen as weakness, while kindness after strength was respected and admired. This principle was then applied to human interactions, particularly between men and women, where men who lead with strength and show kindness afterward are seen as high-value, while those who lead with kindness first are often perceived as weak. The key takeaway is that kindness should always follow strength in order to be valued.

Takeaways

• 😀 Kindness shown before strength is perceived as weakness by others, especially in social dynamics.
• 😀 Strength before kindness is seen as power and high value, particularly in interactions between men and women.
• 😀 A study in a California prison showed how prisoners reacted to kindness from two different approaches: before or after establishing strength.
• 😀 Inmates who led with kindness without strength were disrespected, while those who showed strength first were respected and admired.
• 😀 Women tend to view kindness before strength as a sign of desperation, making it difficult for men to gain attraction.
• 😀 Kindness shown after establishing strength is seen as a choice and adds value, demonstrating high value and attraction.
• 😀 Men who lead with kindness alone often appear weak and invisible to women, as they fail to establish dominance or strength.
• 😀 Leading with strength first (decisiveness, holding space) and then showing kindness leads to respect and admiration from others.
• 😀 The script compares weak men who lead with kindness to lap dogs (dependent on others), and strong men who show kindness like lions (choosing to be gentle when appropriate).
• 😀 The key takeaway for men is to always establish strength before kindness in any interaction, especially with women, to maintain attraction and respect.

Q & A

What was the main objective of the 1972 study conducted in a California prison?

The main objective of the study was to test how people would react to kindness when it comes from a position of strength versus when it comes from a position of weakness.

How were the two inmates, Inmate A and Inmate B, instructed to behave during the study?

Inmate A was instructed to be kind, agreeable, smile, offer food, and avoid confrontation. Inmate B, on the other hand, was instructed to establish strength first by being firm, standing his ground, and not reacting emotionally. He could show kindness after establishing strength.

What was the outcome of the study for Inmate A, who led with kindness?

Inmate A was disrespected by the other prisoners. His kindness was seen as weakness, and he was targeted for jokes, had food stolen, and was regarded as desperate and pathetic.

How did Inmate B, who led with strength, fare in the study?

Inmate B was respected and admired by the other prisoners. His kindness, after establishing dominance, was seen as valuable and earned him trust and admiration.

What does the study reveal about human nature and attraction, particularly regarding men and women?

The study reveals that when kindness is shown before strength, it is often seen as weakness. However, when kindness follows strength, it is perceived as power, charm, and high value. This dynamic is particularly evident in the way women perceive men.

Why is leading with kindness seen as a mistake in male-female interactions?

Leading with kindness is seen as a mistake because it makes a man appear weak, desperate for approval, and lacking strength. Women, as per the study, cannot be attracted to men they perceive as weak.

What does the speaker suggest is the proper approach when interacting with women?

The speaker suggests that men should lead with strength first—being firm, decisive, and holding their own space—before showing kindness. This sequence makes kindness more valuable and attractive.

How does the speaker use the metaphor of a lion and a lap dog to explain the concept?

The speaker compares a lion and a lap dog to illustrate the difference between strength and weakness. A lion, strong and dominant, chooses when to show kindness, which adds value to its actions. A lap dog, on the other hand, is always kind out of necessity, making its kindness seem weak and dependent.

What mistake do many men make when trying to interact with women, according to the speaker?

Many men make the mistake of leading with kindness first. They present themselves as overly agreeable or eager to please, which results in being perceived as weak and unattractive to women.

What is the final takeaway from the speaker's message on kindness and strength?

The final takeaway is that kindness should always come after strength. When a man shows strength first and kindness second, the kindness is seen as a high-value trait. If kindness is shown before strength, it is interpreted as weakness and repels women.