Are You Who You Think You Are?
Summary
TLDRThe speaker explores the profound impact of one's native language on worldview, using the example of English's time-conjugated verbs and Chinese's time-agnostic structure to illustrate how language shapes our perception of time. They argue that the pace of life and success is subjective, sharing personal stories of individuals overcoming hardships at different paces. Emphasizing the importance of personal growth and the fluidity of identity, they conclude that who we aspire to be is a product of our experiences and interpretations, which would differ had we been born in different times and places.
Takeaways
- 🕰️ The speaker emphasizes that the time it takes to achieve goals or become a certain person is not as important as the journey and personal growth.
- 🌐 The speaker believes that the first language one learns profoundly influences their worldview, with words serving as a means to convey complex ideas and emotions.
- 📚 Language evolves rapidly, and new terms can quickly become part of everyday communication, demonstrating how language shapes and reflects societal changes.
- 📖 The speaker highlights the peculiarities of the English language, such as verb conjugation based on time, which contrasts with languages like Chinese that do not conjugate verbs.
- 🕰️ The concept of time is deeply ingrained in English, affecting cultural values and the perception of time as a resource that can be converted into money and social power.
- ⏳ There is an inherent conflict for individuals who feel that time is not on their side, leading to impatience and dissatisfaction with the pace of personal progress.
- 👵 The speaker shares a personal story about a woman named Sarah, who, despite a troubled past and delayed success, eventually rose to a high corporate position, illustrating that success can come at varying paces.
- 👴 The story of the speaker's grandfather, who lost his success abruptly due to political changes, serves as a counterpoint to Sarah's story, showing that external factors can drastically alter one's life path.
- 🌟 The speaker's mother imparts wisdom that who we want to be is a product of our experiences and interpretations, which would be different had we been born in another time or place.
- 💡 The speaker suggests that people's ideas and beliefs may not be truly their own, but rather a product of their environment and upbringing, challenging the notion of individual self-awareness and identity.
Q & A
What is the speaker's view on the importance of time in achieving personal goals?
-The speaker believes that the time it takes to achieve something or become the person you want to be does not matter. They emphasize that the focus should not be on the duration but on the journey and personal growth.
How does the speaker describe the impact of the first language learned on a person's worldview?
-The speaker is a firm believer that the first language one learns has a profound impact on how they see the world. Language shapes the way we convey and understand objects, emotions, situations, and people.
What is the speaker's perspective on the evolution of language and its relation to cultural understanding?
-The speaker observes that language evolves quickly, and this rapid change can sometimes create a barrier in understanding, as illustrated with the example of modern English words that might not be understood a decade ago.
Why does the speaker find the English language's conjugation of verbs based on time interesting?
-The speaker finds it interesting because English conjugates verbs to reflect time, unlike Chinese, which is time agnostic and does not conjugate verbs. This difference highlights how language can influence cultural perceptions of time.
How does the speaker relate the concept of time in the English language to cultural values?
-The speaker relates the time-conjugated verbs in English to the cultural value placed on time, as seen in the cliché 'time is money,' which reflects the importance of time in converting to financial and social power.
What personal anecdote does the speaker share to illustrate the point that time is not a determinant of success?
-The speaker shares the story of a woman named Sarah, who, despite various setbacks and taking a long time to achieve her PhD, eventually rose to a high corporate position, showing that success can come at varying paces.
What does the speaker's mother's ability to read faces based on Chinese superstitions reveal about cultural beliefs?
-It reveals that cultural beliefs, such as face-reading in Chinese superstitions, can provide a unique perspective on a person's life experiences and predict their future, emphasizing the role of culture in shaping beliefs and practices.
How does the speaker's grandfather's story contrast with Sarah's in terms of the impact of time on their lives?
-The speaker's grandfather's story contrasts with Sarah's as he lost his success and status abruptly due to political changes, while Sarah took a long, gradual path to success, highlighting that time's role in life outcomes can vary greatly.
What does the speaker suggest about the nature of personal identity and the influence of external factors?
-The speaker suggests that personal identity is not just a sum of experiences but also the interpretation of those experiences. They argue that had one been born in a different time and place, their identity and desires would be completely different.
How does the speaker address the idea that people's beliefs and values may not be inherently their own?
-The speaker posits that people's beliefs and values are likely influenced by their environment and upbringing, and if they had been born in a different time and place, their beliefs might have been entirely different, suggesting that ideas are not inherently personal.
Outlines
🌐 Impact of Language on Worldview
The speaker discusses the profound effect of one's first language on their perception of the world. They explain how language encapsulates objects, emotions, and situations into words, which are then shared among people. The rapid evolution of language is highlighted with the example of Korean and English, showing how new terms can quickly become part of everyday lexicon, thereby changing our understanding and perspective. The speaker also touches on the unique aspects of the English language, such as verb conjugation based on time, which contrasts with languages like Chinese that are time agnostic and gender-neutral. They suggest that the way language is structured, particularly in relation to time, can influence a culture's relationship with and perception of time, using the cliché 'time is money' as an example of how deeply ingrained this concept is in English-speaking cultures.
🕰 Time's Role in Personal Growth and Satisfaction
This paragraph delves into the relationship between time and personal development, using the speaker's personal experiences and observations. The speaker shares a story about meeting a woman named Sarah, who was perceived by the speaker's mother, through a photo, to have had a difficult childhood and a delayed but eventual rise in life. The narrative contrasts the societal pressure for quick success with the reality that personal growth and achievement can take various timeframes. It emphasizes the idea that the time it takes to become the person one aspires to be is not as important as the journey itself, suggesting that external factors and timing are not the ultimate determinants of one's life trajectory.
👣 Overcoming Adversity: Sarah's Journey to Success
The speaker recounts Sarah's life story, which is marked by hardship and resilience. Born from a one-night stand and raised in an unstable environment, Sarah faced numerous challenges, including illness and substance abuse. Despite these adversities, she pursued a PhD, which took her ten years to complete. The speaker's mother had predicted a successful future for Sarah, which indeed came to pass as she rapidly ascended the corporate ladder in her late 30s. The story illustrates that success, although it may be delayed, can ultimately be achieved regardless of one's troubled past, reinforcing the idea that the time it takes to reach one's goals is less significant than the achievement itself.
🌟 The Ephemeral Nature of Success: The Tale of Two Lives
The speaker contrasts Sarah's story with that of their grandfather, who experienced a swift fall from grace due to political upheaval in China. Once a prominent lawyer and a friend of Chiang Kai-shek, the grandfather's life was abruptly altered with the rise of communism, leading to a life of poverty in Taiwan. This narrative is juxtaposed with Sarah's slow rise to success to emphasize that the time frame of achieving or losing one's aspirations can vary greatly. The speaker reflects on the idea that who we want to be is a product of our experiences and interpretations, and that had we been born in different times and places, our aspirations and identities would be fundamentally different. The paragraph concludes with a broader reflection on the nature of personal identity and the influence of external contexts on our beliefs and desires.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Language Impact
💡Words and Communication
💡Modern-Day Language
💡Intersectional Vegan Trans Man
💡Verb Conjugation
💡Time Agnostic
💡Time as a Resource
💡Cultural Association with Time
💡Personal Growth and Time
💡Superstition and Face Reading
💡Success and Timing
💡Self-Awareness and Identity
Highlights
The speaker believes that the language you learn first profoundly impacts how you view the world.
Words are created to make objects, emotions, situations, and people portable across humans.
Modern language changes rapidly, with new words and meanings emerging frequently.
The speaker shares an anecdote about Korean friends not understanding North Korean banners due to language evolution.
In English, words can quickly become outdated, and new terms like 'intersectional vegan trans man' are now understood by many.
Language can change one's mind and perspective on the world, as demonstrated by the understanding of new terms.
English is unique in that it conjugates verbs based on time, unlike Chinese which is time agnostic and gender-neutral.
The concept of time in language may influence a culture's relationship with time, as seen with the English saying 'time is money'.
The speaker suggests that an emphasis on time in communication can lead to impatience and a feeling that things are not happening fast enough.
The speaker shares a story about meeting a woman named Sarah, who was like a big sister figure and faced many life challenges.
Sarah's life improved significantly in her late 30s, showing that success can come at varying paces.
The speaker's mother practiced face reading, predicting aspects of Sarah's life based on her facial features.
Sarah's story illustrates that it doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve success, as people only see the present you.
The speaker contrasts Sarah's story with his grandfather's, who lost his success abruptly when the Communists took power in China.
The speaker's mother emphasizes that people are a product of their time and place, and would be different if born elsewhere.
The speaker concludes that who you want to be is a product of your experiences and interpretations, which would differ if you were born at a different time and place.
Transcripts
it doesn't matter how long it takes for
you to achieve something or more
generally does it matter how long it
takes for you to become the person that
you want to be no I don't think it
matters how long it takes I'm a firm
believer that the language that you
learn to speak first in your life has a
profound impact on how you see the world
words are a funny thing because what we
do is we take an object or an emotion or
a situation or a person and we put them
into a series of syllables to produce a
word so that we can make it portable
from one human being to another to
convey that object situation or person
or emotion to one another it's actually
kind of strange because if you look at
modern-day language it's changing very
quickly no matter which language that
you're speaking I have some Korean
friends and very often I'd go and show
them a banner that I find from North
Korea and I'd ask them well what does
this say an overwhelming majority of my
friends would go and say I don't
understand what this is saying I
wouldn't be able to translate it for you
because I don't know what some of these
words mean now if you look at the
English language the same thing is
actually happening in today's English
take for example if there's a series of
words I'm going to say to you that you
might understand now but I guarantee you
ten years ago people wouldn't have
understood if I describe somebody as an
intersectional vegan trans man I
guarantee you ten years ago a hundred
percent of the people that I knew
personally would not know what that
means they wouldn't be even able to
understand or begin to comprehend what
that means but yet in today's world I'd
say that there's a greater percentage of
people who would know what I mean the
fact that these ideas have now been
conveyed into words and have been
transported from me to you the person
who is receiving this communication you
in essence have changed your mind in a
way to understand what those words
represent whether or not you like it
your mind has been changed by those
words in the way that you see the world
now that you know that such a type of
idea exists that kind of idea has
impacted you to an extent let's go a
little bit more basic than words and
grammatical structure in English what's
strange about English that some other
languages don't do is that we conjugate
verbs based on time let's give the
example of the word be in to state a
state of being right the present tense
is I am the past tense was I was and in
the future is I will be it's interesting
because am and was and B are different
words completely I learned how to speak
Chinese first when I first learned how
to talk and Chinese is time agnostic
they don't conjugate verbs at all and
it's also a gender-neutral language and
what's interesting about Chinese is that
I'm not going to I'm not going to
sugarcoat it Chinese people here in
America sometimes are the butt of jokes
because especially if they're not a
native English speaker they say funny
things like I going to the store today
because they don't conjugate verbs so
that's the notion that you would apply
time to an act of doing is very foreign
to somebody who's not a native English
speaker and especially to somebody who's
Chinese now why I mention this is that
if we attach a state of time to the
facility of language and almost every
single sentence that you utter you speak
right or read has something to do with
time then you would expect that the
culture itself that speaks that language
has a very strong association with time
and that's very true when it comes to
English because there's a cliche that we
say but it almost dictates our very
daily activities in the sense that we
say time is money time is the resource
that we use to convert into money which
gives us some kind of social power or in
essence it gives us money for us to
survive because for example if you work
on a production line and production
stocks for anywhere between a minute to
an hour
depending on the size of the company you
could be losing tens of millions of
dollars because nothing is coming out of
it you're wasting the resource of time
which would be turned into money at some
point now here's the thing if one of
your main facilities of communication
with other human beings is through
either reading or writing or through
spoken words and every single sentence
has some notion of time attached to it
then no wonder there are so many people
who come out and say well why is this
not processed happening fast enough why
am I not becoming the person that I want
to be faster or if somebody is at the
height of their career and they know
that they're going to start declining
well then maybe they will want to ask
well why is the decline why can't it
just happen now so we can get it over
with this leads to an inherent conflict
within a particular person to note that
time is not necessarily on their side
and they think that no matter what
things are not happening fast enough
because such an emphasis has been placed
on time in almost everything that they
do including the way that they
communicate with others so now here's
why I want to say that it doesn't matter
how long it takes for you to accomplish
something it doesn't matter how long it
takes for you to become the person that
you want to be I want to give you a
story when I first moved out here to the
East Coast from Chicago I met a girl who
was about 10 years older than me and she
was also from Illinois in the way that I
saw her was kind of like a big sister
figure in fact if I was five years old
and I had met her and she would have
been 15 years old my parents would have
told me to call her jiajia which is big
sister and it's it's funny because in
Chinese culture what's built into the
language is that family friends you
would call aunt or uncle it doesn't
translate well into English but it's an
ocean of respect that
the family friend is as if they are the
brothers and sisters of your parents and
that is the form of respect that's given
to the family friend and their children
as well so I would have called her big
sister but when I first met her we
talked a few times and we were at dinner
and we took a picture together
we were just messing around it was just
for fun and I guess my mom has the same
fingerprint as me because she ended up
getting into my phone when I went back
to Chicago and look through my pictures
some of them I wish she didn't see but
when she saw a picture of me and this
girl she immediately got up and she said
Bernard who is this girl and I said oh
it's Sarah let's call her that name now
my mom is a very superstitious person
and Chinese culture is a little bit
superstitious as well things like the
Chinese zodiac are built directly into
the language and take for example the
word for and the word death are they're
pronounced almost the same except
there's an inflection and tone up for
one and down for the other and
apparently in Asia according to some of
my family members there isn't a fourth
floor in some office buildings because
for sounds like death
it also doesn't make sense because in
the Chinese zodiac to people who are
four years apart in age are a harmonious
balance so I'm not sure what's one
switch but my mom very believes she very
much believes in reading faces and it's
a superstition that I guess she's picked
up over a longer period of time but what
it says is that based on how old you are
at a certain point in time and the
features on your face she's able to tell
the successes and triumphs or tragedies
that are going on in your life at any
point in time so as she was looking at a
picture of Sarah she went and said you
know Bernard Sarah had an awful awful
childhood you know I can tell just by
looking at her face
and you know the features that she has
awful childhood drifted when she was
maybe about 20 up to 30 years old she
was supposed to have gotten married when
she was in her early 30s but something
happened and she didn't end up getting
married and you know now that she's in
her mid mid to late 30s her life is
starting to go up but because she abused
her body when she was younger
she's going to she's going to live a
very long time but she's not going to be
healthy the entire time while she's
doing it so when I first heard this I
thought this is this is weird first of
all and you know I also want to test
this hypothesis because at the time I
didn't know too much about sarin
so the next time I got to see her I
asked her I said you know I by the way
if you're a guy like if you bring up
things like the zodiac I've never met a
girl who doesn't enjoy that conversation
but you know I knew how old she was and
I happen to know parts of the Chinese
zodiac too so I told her you know I know
what year you were born was last year
kind of bad for you and was the year
before even worse because those were
supposed to be two bad years according
to the Chinese zodiac and she agreed and
then I told her I said you know
accidentally that the picture we took at
dinner my mom she saw it and I like I
said probably has the same fingerprint
as me I don't know how that happened so
she you know she mentioned to me that
you had a very rough childhood and that
you drifted in your 20s and 30s you were
supposed to get married in your early
30s and as I was saying this like when I
said bad childhood she just kind of had
a smug look on her face but then when I
said you were supposed to have gotten
married in your early 30s then all of a
sudden like you could tell that she
became very interested in what I had to
say I didn't tell her what the future
was but she confirmed everything that my
mother said in fact she grew up in a
very broken household she was the
product of a one-night stand her mom was
22 dad was 45 and as she grew up with a
sister who was 6 years older than her so
you can guess the mom's age when first
child was born she was living with
multiple boyfriends here and there it
just seemed like there was no stability
in her life as a young child up until
the point where one of the boyfriends
throughout the mother and the two girls
so Sarah's mom then asked Sarah's dad if
she could sleep on his couch but
sleeping on his couch involved other
guys on the couch too so he ended up
throwing everybody out - Sarah ended up
growing up with her dad in some capacity
but throughout high school she ended up
falling extremely ill and it was
difficult for her to get through college
and when she was in college she had a
mild drug problem she was very
interested in science started working at
a couple
Chemical Company but then told me that
she would smoke pot in the bathroom and
do lines of coke during her lunch break
what was interesting about Sara was that
when she made the move to go and get a
PhD it took her ten years to get her PhD
and what was even more humiliating to
her was that there were people that she
t-84 they were undergraduates and she
was you know first or second year PhD
student and they finished their PhD
before she did and you know she told me
my life has been such a wreck I was
supposed to have gotten married but my
fiancee we cancelled it because he got
violent my life had been such a wreck
that when I see somebody passing me up I
just didn't care anymore and what's
interesting is I never told her the
future of her face reading from my
mother but my mom said that she would be
jumping very high up the corporate
ladder in a very short amount of time in
her late 30s she's she's pretty much in
her early 40s now and when I knew her
every six months
she made a jump she'd get a new
promotion and now she's you know vice
president level she's very high up it
took a very long time for her to reach
the level of success that she'd never
imagined that she'd have but it doesn't
matter because every new person that she
meets now as somebody at a
vice-president level would never have
known about any parts of her past so it
doesn't matter
how long it took her to reach success
the second example I want to give you is
the complete opposite of it and it is my
grandfather he was born in the early
1900s and he was in China before it
turned communist my grandpa at the age
of thirty became the most famous lawyer
in his province and he was elected to
the Congress of the Republic of China he
was good friends with Chiang kai-shek
who was the ruler of China at the time
before that entire political
establishment got thrown out by the
Communists now when October 1st 1949
rolled around and the Communists
captured Beijing it was game over for my
grandpa my grandpa wanted to restore the
Emperor so you can tell that that was
going to fly with the Communists and my
grandpa he ended up just living his life
in poverty in Taiwan and you know when
he arrived in Taiwan it was scorched
earth the Japanese had pretty much
raised the entire area all that was left
with some mountains and a railroad but
it's interesting because on his opposite
end his success was taken away from him
and it was taken away from him rather
abruptly there was not much that he
could have done about it because he
couldn't have reversed his political
positions at that point in time because
he had a pretty good track record of
wanting to do something like restore an
emperor so the Communists weren't going
to accept him his life pretty much ended
on October 1st 1949 and that there was
nothing that he could do to have gotten
his life back so as long as it took
Sarah for her to get the success that
she had it took just about a day for my
grandpa to lose all of his success so
what I'm trying to say is that it
doesn't matter how long it takes for you
to become the person that you want to be
or how long it takes for you to
accomplish something one of the things
that my mom told me when I was very
young my mom grew up in 1950s Taiwan had
she grown up in 1950s mainland China
especially in the province where she was
from
she was the age that she could have been
Redguard the revolutionary teenage
student group who started to out their
parents outed their teachers out of
their grandparents and who would wave a
red book that said that Chairman Mao
loves you more than your own family does
and I asked her I said but mom you are
against everything that Chairman Mao
says you are against everything that he
says would it have mattered whether or
not you were in mainland China whether
or not you would have been against it
and she told me she said well it would
have mattered because everybody around
me would have been thinking a same thing
and when everyone else around you is
thinking the same way you become a
product of what that is I didn't quite
understand it until now when I fully
realized that people are not really
self-aware until they realize
that had they been born in a different
time and in a different place that they
would be a different person completely
in every sense in essence you are not
just the sum of your experiences but you
are also the interpretation of those
experiences as well you see a lot of
turmoil going on right now in America
and in the Western world and you know
people get very upset over ideas here
and there what's interesting is is that
maybe the ideas themselves don't really
matter and maybe the ideas are not
really theirs because had they been born
in a different time and in a different
place those ideas might not have had any
traction at all and if they're not their
ideas then whose ideas are they because
if there's somebody else's it's likely
that it's not their idea either when it
comes down to it the person that you
want to be is only a figment of your
imagination and is a product of all of
your experiences and how you've
interpreted those experiences at that
current point in time because when it
comes to being the person that you want
to be who you want to be is a figment of
your imagination
it is a product of all the experiences
that you've had in your life and how
you've interpreted them and because of
that had you been born at a different
place and at a different time the person
that you'd want to be would be different
because you as a whole would be a
completely different person your
physical aspect is one part of you but
the ideas that would have been embodied
in you based on how you were brought up
at a certain point in time would have
been completely different
now some people take an assault on their
ideas personally but there's no reason
for them to take it personally there's
no reason for the anger behind any
assault on anybody's ideas because
remember had you been born in a
different place and a different time you
would not be you
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