Making male friends ⏲️ 6 Minute English

Summary

This BBC Learning English episode explores the challenges men face in maintaining close friendships, particularly as they age. It highlights the stereotype that women are better at forming and keeping friendships, while men often struggle, with many losing touch as they grow older. Author Max Dickens discusses his own experience of not having close male friends, despite being outgoing. The episode also touches on the importance of friendships for mental health, with research suggesting that five close friends and a wider support network are necessary for well-being. Key vocabulary like 'times are tough,' 'drift away,' and 'Billy No-Mates' are introduced.

Takeaways

• 😀 Close friendships are crucial for mental health and well-being, with research showing that a core group of five friends plus a wider support network of ten is ideal for mental health.
• 😀 The stereotype that women are better at maintaining friendships than men is questioned, with evidence suggesting that men often struggle more to make and maintain close friends as they age.
• 😀 A survey revealed that only 27% of British men report having at least six close friends, highlighting a significant gap compared to women.
• 😀 Men, especially as they get older, often find it more challenging to maintain strong friendships, and this can lead to feelings of loneliness.
• 😀 Max Dickens, the author of *Billy No-Mates*, publicly addressed the issue of male loneliness and the struggle to find close male friends, especially around major life events like marriage.
• 😀 The phrase 'times are tough' refers to challenging periods in life where friends are essential for support, whether for emotional or practical help.
• 😀 The phrasal verb 'get through' means to manage or survive difficult situations, and it is often used in the context of overcoming challenges with the help of friends.
• 😀 The term 'drift away' describes how friendships can gradually weaken or fade, often without any specific cause, until the connection is lost.
• 😀 'Billy No-Mates' is slang for a person who has no friends, and Max Dickens used this title for his book to challenge the stigma around loneliness.
• 😀 Despite being outgoing and young, Max Dickens experienced loneliness, highlighting that loneliness is not just an issue for the elderly but also for younger people, especially in the age of social media.
• 😀 'Third spaces' like sports clubs or reading groups are recommended by Max Dickens as places where people can meet new friends outside of work or home, fostering deeper connections.

Q & A

What does the saying 'a friend in need is a friend indeed' mean?

It means that a true friend is someone who supports you during difficult times, not just when things are going well.

Why do men find it harder to maintain friendships as they get older?

According to the script, men often struggle to nurture relationships and may be more likely to hang out with whoever is around, rather than making a conscious effort to maintain close friendships.

How many close friends do we need for good mental wellbeing, according to research by Oxford University's Institute of Cognitive Anthropology?

The research suggests we need at least five close friends for good mental wellbeing.

What is the stereotype about women and men maintaining friendships?

The stereotype is that women are better at making and keeping close friends, while men find it harder, especially as they age.

What does the phrase 'times are tough' mean?

'Times are tough' refers to periods of trouble, unhappiness, or difficulty in life, when people might need support from friends.

What does the phrasal verb 'get through' mean in the context of the script?

'Get through' in this context means to manage or survive through a difficult or unpleasant period of time.

What does 'drift away' mean?

'Drift away' means to gradually move further apart from someone, resulting in the eventual end of the relationship.

What does 'Billy No-Mates' refer to?

'Billy No-Mates' is slang for someone who has no friends, often used humorously or to describe a lonely person.

What is meant by a 'double-edged sword'?

A 'double-edged sword' refers to something that has both favorable and unfavorable consequences.

What does the adjective 'outgoing' describe?

'Outgoing' describes a person who is friendly, sociable, and enjoys meeting new people.