This is the last video you’ll need on boosting your confidence, ever...

Summary

In this video, the speaker outlines three key steps to boost self-confidence: 1) Keep promises to yourself, starting with small, achievable goals; 2) Master social skills to build genuine connections and warmth with others; and 3) Be honest with yourself, avoiding self-deception about bad habits. He emphasizes the importance of earning confidence through competence in various areas of life, such as fitness, social skills, business, and self-discipline. The video encourages consistent, honest self-improvement, showing that true confidence comes from the hard work of becoming a well-rounded, competent individual.

Takeaways

• 😀 Focus on building competence in various areas of life to develop real confidence. Being good at multiple skills gives you true self-assurance.
• 😀 🏋️‍♂️ Confidence comes from the consistent effort to improve yourself, whether in fitness, business, or social skills.
• 😀 🗣️ Mastering social skills, like effective communication and charm, is crucial to feeling confident in social situations.
• 😀 💪 Trust yourself by keeping promises to yourself and staying committed to your goals, no matter how small they seem.
• 😀 🧠 Self-trust is the foundation of confidence. Trust that you'll follow through with your commitments to boost your self-esteem.
• 😀 💡 Be mindful of the excuses you make to justify bad habits. Recognize when you're lying to yourself, and break the cycle of self-deception.
• 😀 ⚖️ Self-discipline and honesty with yourself are key to overcoming weaknesses and improving your overall confidence.
• 😀 💥 Stop indulging in things that make you feel weak or unproductive. Owning up to your habits allows you to make better choices.
• 😀 🤝 Building confidence is an ongoing process. Even if you don't feel confident yet, continually work on yourself and your competencies.
• 😀 🚀 Boosting your confidence involves both hard work and honesty. When you stop lying to yourself, you regain your self-respect and belief.

Q & A

What is the root cause of lack of confidence, according to the video?

The root cause of lack of confidence is incompetence. People like Jeffrey feel insecure because they haven't developed the necessary skills or trust in their ability to follow through on their intentions.

How can someone build more self-trust and confidence?

To build self-trust, start by setting smaller, achievable goals. Instead of aiming for massive changes all at once, like reducing screen time drastically or making a lot of money, start small and gradually build up success. By consistently following through on smaller promises to yourself, you begin to trust that you can accomplish what you set out to do.

Why is it important to 'lower the weight on the bar' when setting goals?

'Lowering the weight on the bar' is a metaphor for starting with manageable goals. When a goal is too big, it can lead to failure, which erodes self-confidence. Setting smaller, realistic goals ensures steady progress and builds confidence through consistent success.

How does mastering social skills contribute to confidence?

Mastering social skills, such as persuasion, charisma, and warmth, makes you more competent in social situations. This competence leads to confidence because social interactions are key to how we perceive ourselves. If you can easily connect with others, it boosts your overall sense of self-assurance.

How did the speaker improve his social skills?

The speaker improved his social skills by reading books like *How to Win Friends and Influence People*, then immediately applying what he learned in real-life situations. He would try new techniques, such as smiling or remembering people's names, right away in conversations, which helped him progress quickly.

What role does honesty play in boosting confidence?

Honesty is crucial for confidence because lying to yourself about bad habits undermines your trust in yourself. When you stop selling yourself lies—like justifying unhealthy behaviors—and instead acknowledge the truth about your actions, you increase your self-respect and confidence.

Why do people often lie to themselves about their habits?

People lie to themselves because it's easier to justify bad habits rather than face the discomfort of change. For instance, they might tell themselves that eating junk food is okay because it’s 'helpful for bulking,' or watching porn is 'productive.' This self-deception keeps them stuck and damages their self-confidence.

What is the difference between self-trust and self-deception?

Self-trust is when you follow through on what you say you're going to do, building confidence through consistent actions. Self-deception, on the other hand, involves convincing yourself that harmful behaviors are actually beneficial, which ultimately weakens your self-trust and confidence.

How can social interactions be a source of confidence?

Social interactions, when positive, can build confidence because they reinforce our value in the eyes of others. Being kind, engaging in meaningful conversations, and having people respond warmly to you boosts your self-esteem and helps you feel more confident in similar future situations.

What is the key to sustained confidence over time?

Sustained confidence comes from competence in multiple areas of life. When you develop skills in areas like fitness, social interaction, business, and mental health, you begin to feel more confident in a wide range of situations, not just specific ones.