Happiness is a choice | Veronda Bellamy | TEDxCharlotte

Summary

In this powerful reflection, a therapist shares her personal journey toward understanding happiness amidst the challenges brought on by the pandemic. Despite outward success, she struggled with mental health, overwhelmed by stress and negative thoughts. After seeking help from a therapist and coach, she discovered that happiness isn't about material things but about moments of well-being that are within our control. By redefining happiness, she encourages the audience to seek joy in life's small moments and to actively choose happiness, emphasizing that it’s a continual pursuit shaped by personal experiences.

Takeaways

• 😀 Happiness is not about things, but about moments we have control over.
• 😀 Even therapists face mental health struggles and seek help from other professionals.
• 😀 The pandemic significantly impacted people's mental health, but it also raised awareness about healing and well-being.
• 😀 Happiness is not a constant state; it varies and can be defined by each person.
• 😀 During challenging times, it's important to slow down and reconnect with yourself.
• 😀 Happiness is the purposeful pursuit of positive things, not the absence of problems.
• 😀 Happiness is not a cure for depression, but it helps in finding moments of well-being.
• 😀 Well-being is rooted in mind, body, and spirit, and this holistic approach is key to overall happiness.
• 😀 We each have our own personal happiness meter, which we can reset as needed.
• 😀 Making human connections, even small ones, can bring moments of happiness.
• 😀 You have the power to define what happiness looks like for you and create those moments intentionally.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the speaker’s message?

The central theme of the speaker’s message is about finding happiness through moments within our personal control rather than material possessions. It emphasizes the importance of well-being, self-reflection, and defining happiness for oneself.

What does Aristotle say about happiness?

Aristotle states that happiness is not about things but rather the moments we experience that are within our personal control. This perspective emphasizes that happiness comes from within and is influenced by how we manage our emotions and actions.

How did the COVID-19 pandemic affect the speaker’s happiness?

The speaker shares that despite having everything she thought would make her happy, including a successful career and personal life, the stress and challenges of the pandemic led her to feel disconnected and weighed down by negative thoughts, thus impacting her happiness.

What does the speaker mean by ‘automatic negative thoughts’ (ANTs)?

ANTs refer to the automatic negative thoughts that repeatedly enter the mind and can take control of a person’s emotional state. These thoughts can distort reality and lead to feelings of sadness, as described by the speaker’s own experience.

What did the speaker do after experiencing a breakdown?

After her breakdown, the speaker called her mom for support. Her mom’s encouragement to not give up motivated her to seek professional help, hiring a therapist and a coach, which helped her reconnect with herself and start the healing process.

Why does the speaker mention hiring herself a therapist and a coach?

The speaker mentions hiring herself a therapist and a coach to emphasize that, even though she is a mental health professional, she needed help just like anyone else. It underscores the idea that everyone, including therapists, can benefit from support in managing their mental health.

What did the speaker discover about happiness through her journey?

The speaker discovered that happiness is not about material possessions but about finding and cherishing meaningful moments. Happiness, according to her experience, can be defined individually and is a choice that can be reset as often as needed.

How does the speaker differentiate between happiness and well-being?

The speaker defines happiness as a component of well-being, which encompasses mind, body, and spirit. She clarifies that happiness is fleeting and not about the absence of problems, but rather about the moments of joy and contentment that contribute to overall well-being.

What role did Yale University’s course on happiness play in the speaker’s perspective?

The speaker references Yale University’s course on happiness to highlight the growing interest in mental well-being, especially during the pandemic. The course's popularity reinforced her understanding that happiness is essential to healing and overall wellness.

What challenge does the speaker pose to the audience at the end of her speech?

The speaker challenges the audience to define happiness for themselves, seek out moments that bring joy, and embrace happiness as a way of living. She encourages them to create opportunities for happiness and recognize that they have control over their happiness.