Shane Gillis | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #478

Summary

El guion de este video presenta una conversación entre comediantes, donde se discuten temas variados, desde fechas de gira en Nueva Orleans, pasando por la venta de entradas y anecdotas personales, hasta comentarios sobre el podcast de Matt y Shane. También se mencionan situaciones cómicas y absurdas, como la idea de unirse a un grupo de lesbianas o la reacción ante el reconocimiento como 'leyendas' en el ámbito cómico. La conversación incluye referencias a situaciones inusuales y humor negro, manteniendo un tono casual y espontáneo.

Takeaways

• 🎭 El guion describe una serie de fechas de gira en Nueva Orleans, Louisiana, en el Teatro Sanger durante el fin de semana de Pascua, con venta de entradas anticipada y general.
• 🎟️ Se menciona un código de venta anticipada llamado 'Rat King' y las fechas exactas para la venta de entradas tanto para la venta anticipada como para la general.
• 📅 Se habla de entradas restantes en varias ciudades, incluyendo Charlottesville, Amhurst, Brisbane, Sydney y Atlanta, y se dirige a comprar entradas en un sitio web llamado 'theovon, docomo'.
• 📍 El guion hace referencia a que se encuentra en Austin, Texas, en Rooster Teeth Studios, y menciona a un invitado llamado Shane Gillis, un comediante joven talentoso.
• 🎙️ Se discuten varios temas durante una conversación casual, incluyendo la fama, el humor, las experiencias personales y las interacciones con la audiencia en podcast y en vivo.
• 😂 Se comparten anécdotas humorísticas y se comenta sobre la dinámica de trabajar en un podcast en solitario o con un compañero, destacando los desafíos y las risas que surge.
• 🍔 Se hace referencia a situaciones cómicas y vergonzosas, como comer en un baño familiar o perder una sandalia mientras se dirige a un vehículo.
• 👮‍♂️ Se menciona un video del alcalde Eric Adams de Nueva York enseñando a los padres a buscar armas y drogas en las habitaciones de sus hijos, lo cual es objeto de burla y humor.
• 🚶‍♂️ Se discuten las experiencias de mudarse a un nuevo lugar, adaptarse a un nuevo entorno y las emociones que esto conlleva, como la soledad y el miedo a las noches.
• 🏠 Se describe la experiencia de alquilar una casa sin verla primero y la satisfacción posterior al encontrarla agradable, así como consejos sobre la decoración y el arte para el hogar.

Q & A

¿Cuándo y dónde se realizarán las fechas de gira de stand-up de Shane Gillis?

Shane Gillis realizará su gira en la Sanger Theater en Nueva Orleans, Louisiana, los días 29 y 30 de marzo, coincidiendo con el fin de semana de Pascua.

¿Cómo se puede obtener acceso de venta previa a los boletos de la gira de Shane Gillis?

El código de venta previa es 'Rat King' y comienza el miércoles 17 de enero a las 10:00 a.m. hora local. La venta general comienza el viernes 19 de enero a las 10:00 a.m. hora local.

¿Qué otros lugares tienen entradas restantes para las giras de stand-up de Shane Gillis?

También hay entradas restantes en Charlottesville, State College, Amhurst, Brisbane, Sydney en Australia, y Atlanta, Georgia.

¿Dónde se encuentra actualmente Shane Gillis y por qué está allí?

Shane Gillis se encuentra en Austin, Texas, en Rooster Teeth Studios, donde está de gira y anunciando fechas de su próxima gira.

¿Quién es el invitado de honor en el podcast de Shane Gillis y cómo se describe a este invitado?

El invitado de honor es Shane Gillis, uno de los comediantes jóvenes más brillantes del mundo, conocido por su participación en el podcast secreto de Matt y Shane y su especial en Netflix llamado 'Beautiful Dogs'.

¿Cómo se siente Shane Gillis sobre la posibilidad de ser etiquetado como un 'leyenda' en el mundo del cómico?

Shane Gillis encuentra que ser llamado un leyenda es extraño y lo hace sentir incómodo, ya que él siente que no es más que un comediante que come hamburguesas y está a veces deprimido.

¿Qué hizo el amigo de Shane Gillis que resultó en una situación embarazosa durante un viaje en Uber?

El amigo de Shane, mientras intentaba subirse a un Uber, tuvo pesadas piernas como su madre y su sandalia se le cayó, lo que hizo que todos pensaran que estaba más borracho de lo que realmente estaba.

¿Qué hizo el alcalde Eric Adams que resultó en un video viral?

El alcalde Eric Adams hizo un video educativo para enseñar a los padres cómo buscar en la habitación de sus hijos para encontrar drogas y armas, lo que resultó en un video viral cuando fue retweeteado recientemente.

¿Qué evento hizo que Shane Gillis se sintiera emocionalmente afectado al mudarse a un nuevo lugar?

Shane Gillis se sintió emocionalmente afectado al mudarse a un nuevo lugar porque estaba acostumbrado a vivir en apartamentos en Filadelfia y Nueva York, y la soledad en su nueva casa lo dejó asustado y lloroso durante una semana.

¿Qué ventaja ofrece la ciudad de Austin, Texas, para los comediantes en comparación con otras ciudades?

Austin, Texas, ofrece la ventaja de que los comediantes pueden hacer stand-up durante la semana en varios lugares, lo que no es tan común en otras ciudades fuera de Nueva York y Los Ángeles.

Outlines

00:00

🎤 Upcoming Tour Dates and Special Guest

Theo Von announces new tour dates, including shows in New Orleans at the Sanger Theater on March 29th and 30th. He highlights pre-sale details and mentions remaining tickets for other cities. The show features comedian Shane Gillis, known from his podcast and Netflix special. The two engage in a humorous conversation, showcasing their comedic chemistry.

05:02

😂 Comedic Insights and Humor

Theo Von and Shane Gillis discuss various comedic topics, including how people perceive legends, dealing with weird fan interactions, and humorous hypotheticals. Their conversation touches on self-deprecation, the bizarre nature of fame, and entertaining 'what-if' scenarios, emphasizing their natural rapport and comedic style.

10:03

🍻 Drinking Stories and Embarrassing Moments

The duo share anecdotes about drinking and its consequences, including a funny story about losing footwear while intoxicated. They reflect on their own drinking habits and the social dynamics that come with it. The conversation includes humor about awkward situations and the camaraderie found in shared experiences.

15:04

🏠 Moving and Settling in New Places

Shane Gillis talks about his recent move from New York to Austin, sharing his initial fears and how he adjusted. The discussion covers the differences between cities, the impact of taxes, and the supportive comedy community in Austin. They also touch on the logistics of moving and the importance of feeling at home.

20:05

🎭 The Art of Stand-Up and Podcasting

Theo and Shane delve into the craft of stand-up comedy and podcasting. They discuss the dynamics of performing solo versus with a buddy, the benefits of doing multiple sets in one night, and the unique challenges of different comedy scenes. Their conversation highlights the importance of practice, feedback, and the evolving nature of comedy.

25:06

📺 Media Appearances and Influences

They talk about the influence of media appearances on their careers, including podcasts and special guests. The conversation includes humorous takes on media portrayals, unexpected moments in the public eye, and the impact of streaming services like Netflix on comedy. They reflect on how media exposure shapes public perception.

30:08

👨‍👩‍👦 Family Interactions and Personal Stories

Theo and Shane share personal stories about family interactions, including funny and awkward moments. They discuss the importance of family support, the humor found in everyday situations, and how personal experiences influence their comedy. The anecdotes provide a glimpse into their lives outside of the comedy stage.

35:09

🎪 Carnival Workers and Unique Guests

They brainstorm potential podcast guests, including carnival workers and unique personalities. The conversation explores the fascinating lives of people in unconventional jobs, the stories they bring, and the challenges of scheduling interviews with busy individuals. Their discussion underscores the diverse range of guests they aim to feature.

40:10

🛌 Sleep Habits and Nighttime Routines

Theo and Shane talk about their sleep habits and nighttime routines. They share humorous stories about staying up late, dealing with interruptions, and the impact of sleep on their daily lives. The conversation touches on the importance of rest, maintaining a healthy routine, and finding humor in the mundane aspects of life.

45:11

💰 Financial Advice and Management

The discussion turns to financial advice and managing money. They share personal experiences with financial planning, the challenges of budgeting, and tips for staying financially healthy. The conversation includes humorous takes on financial mishaps and the importance of making informed decisions with money.

50:11

🚀 Ambitions and Future Plans

Theo and Shane discuss their future ambitions and plans. They talk about upcoming projects, goals for their careers, and the excitement of new opportunities. The conversation highlights their aspirations, the importance of setting goals, and the drive to continue evolving in their respective fields.

55:15

🏠 Living Arrangements and Home Life

Shane shares insights about his living arrangements and the experience of finding a home. The conversation includes humorous anecdotes about moving in, the importance of having a comfortable living space, and the impact of one's environment on daily life. They reflect on the balance between work and home life.

00:16

🏫 Education and Learning Experiences

They discuss their educational backgrounds and learning experiences. The conversation covers the value of formal education, self-learning, and the role of curiosity in personal growth. They share stories about school, teachers, and the lifelong pursuit of knowledge, emphasizing the importance of staying curious and open-minded.

05:18

🗣 Public Speaking and Performance

Theo and Shane talk about the art of public speaking and performance. They share tips for engaging an audience, overcoming stage fright, and the thrill of performing live. The conversation includes humorous stories about past performances and the lessons they've learned from their experiences on stage.

10:20

💡 Creative Processes and Inspiration

They delve into their creative processes and sources of inspiration. The conversation explores how they generate new ideas, the importance of staying inspired, and the role of creativity in their work. They share personal anecdotes about finding inspiration in unexpected places and the joy of creating something new.

15:20

🧘‍♂️ Mindfulness and Mental Health

The discussion turns to mindfulness and mental health. They talk about the importance of taking care of one's mental well-being, the benefits of mindfulness practices, and coping with stress. The conversation includes personal stories about mental health struggles and the strategies they've found helpful for maintaining balance.

20:22

💬 Communication and Relationships

Theo and Shane explore the dynamics of communication and relationships. They share insights about effective communication, the importance of honesty, and maintaining healthy relationships. The conversation includes humorous takes on misunderstandings and the lessons they've learned from their own experiences.

25:23

🎤 Podcasting Adventures and Guest Highlights

They reflect on their podcasting adventures and memorable guest highlights. The conversation includes stories about interesting guests, unexpected moments during recordings, and the joy of connecting with diverse personalities. They discuss the impact of podcasting on their careers and the unique platform it provides for storytelling.

30:26

🎬 Movies and Entertainment

The duo discusses their favorite movies and entertainment preferences. They share recommendations, talk about memorable film experiences, and reflect on the impact of movies on culture. The conversation includes humorous takes on popular films and the role of entertainment in their lives.

35:27

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social Dynamics and Interactions

Theo and Shane talk about social dynamics and interactions. They share observations about social behavior, the importance of understanding social cues, and navigating different social situations. The conversation includes humorous stories about social interactions and the lessons they've learned about human behavior.

40:29

🌟 Highlights of the Conversation

They recap the highlights of their conversation, touching on the most memorable and humorous moments. The discussion includes reflections on the topics covered, the insights gained, and the fun they had during their chat. They express gratitude for the opportunity to connect and share their thoughts with each other and their audience.

45:29

📅 Upcoming Events and Farewell

Theo and Shane wrap up the conversation by talking about upcoming events and expressing their farewells. They share details about future shows, encourage listeners to stay tuned for more content, and thank their audience for their support. The conversation ends on a positive note, with anticipation for future endeavors.

Keywords

💡Tour dates

Se refiere a las fechas de conciertos o presentaciones que un artista anuncia para sus fans. En el video, el artista menciona sus nuevas fechas de gira, destacando un evento en el Teatro Sanger en Nueva Orleans durante el fin de semana de Pascua, lo que indica la importancia de la planificación y la anticipación para los eventos.

💡Pre-sale code

Es un código utilizado para acceder a la venta de entradas antes de que estén disponibles para el público general. En el script, se menciona un código de pré-venta llamado 'Rat King', que es un ejemplo de cómo los artistas pueden fomentar la anticipación y la exclusividad en la venta de sus entradas.

💡On sale

Hace referencia a cuando las entradas para un evento están disponibles para la compra públicamente. En el video, se indica que la venta general de entradas comenzará el viernes 19 de enero, lo que es un momento clave para los fanáticos que desean obtener boletos para el evento.

💡Comediantes

Los comediantes son artistas que se dedican a hacer reír a la audiencia a través de sus actuaciones. En el script, se menciona a Shane Gillis como uno de los comediantes más brillantes y jóvenes, destacando su talento y su participación en el podcast de Matt y Shane.

💡Podcast

Un podcast es una serie de episodios de audio u video, generalmente grabados y difundidos en línea, que pueden abarcar una amplia gama de temas, incluidos la comedia y la entrevista. En el video, se hace referencia al 'Secret Podcast' de Matt y Shane, que es una plataforma donde los comediantes invitados comparten sus perspectivas y humor.

💡Netflix

Netflix es una plataforma de streaming en línea que ofrece una amplia variedad de contenidos, incluidos programas de televisión, películas y especiales de comedia. En el script, se menciona el especial de comedia 'Beautiful Dogs' de Shane Gillis, que está disponible en esta plataforma, reflejando la presencia del artista en medios digitales modernos.

💡Rooster Teeth Studios

Es un estudio de producción de medios basado en Texas, conocido por su trabajo en animación, series y podcasts. En el video, se menciona que el artista está en Rooster Teeth Studios, lo que indica la ubicación donde se lleva a cabo la grabación y la producción del contenido del podcast.

💡Hangover

Un hangover es un malestar físico que sigue el consumo excesivo de alcohol. En el script, se discute cómo el estado de hangover puede afectar la conducta y el humor, y cómo a veces los comediantes usan su experiencia con el alcohol para crear contenido cómico.

💡Vomit man

Es una referencia a un incidente en el que un fan de los Philadelphia Phillies vomitó sobre su hijo y un oficial de policía durante un juego. En el video, este término se usa para describir el evento y se discute cómo tales comportamientos pueden convertirse en noticias virales y cómo afectan a las personas involucradas.

💡Hot air balloon

Un globo de aire caliente es una forma de transporte que utiliza el aire caliente para ascender y volar. En el script, se menciona un incidente de un globo que se estrelló, lo que lleva a una discusión sobre los riesgos y las experiencias de los globos de aire caliente, y cómo pueden ser una fuente de entretenimiento o preocupación.

💡Elephant

Un elefante es un animal grande y poderoso, conocido por su inteligencia y complejidad emocional. En el video, se discuten varios incidentes involucrando elefantes, como el caso de 'Mary', la elefante ejecutada, y otro elefante que mató a una mujer y regresó a su funeral, lo que refleja la capacidad de los elefantes de causar impacto en la sociedad y en los medios de comunicación.

Highlights

Announcement of new tour dates in New Orleans at the Sanger theater on Easter weekend.

Pre-sale code 'Rat King' for tickets starting January 17th and general sale starting January 19th.

Mention of remaining tickets for shows in Charlottesville, State College, Amhurst, Brisbane, Sydney, and Atlanta.

Introduction of guest Shane Gillis, a renowned young comedian known from Matt and Shane's secret podcast and his Netflix special.

Discussion on the comedic chemistry between the hosts and the importance of having a good podcast co-host.

Shane Gillis shares his experience of doing solo podcasts and the challenges of maintaining energy without a co-host.

A humorous segment on the mayor of New York's video about parents searching their kids' rooms for drugs and weapons.

Shane Gillis talks about his move from New York to Texas and the concerns about being perceived as following Joe Rogan.

Discussion on the benefits of living in Texas, including lower taxes and the ability to perform stand-up comedy more frequently.

Shane's experience of buying a furnished house in Texas without seeing it first.

Tom Segur's advice to Shane on investing in art and the impact of art on one's home environment.

Shane's thoughts on wealth and his uncertainty about how he would spend money if he were very rich.

A funny story about a hot air balloon ride and an unsuccessful marriage proposal.

Discussion on the historical use of hot air balloons in warfare and the potential dangers of flying them.

Shane Gillis's reflections on his move to Texas, overcoming initial fears, and adjusting to the new environment.

The hosts talk about the possibility of a future revolution and the idea of leading a 'bum Army' in a humorous and hypothetical scenario.

Shane Gillis's upcoming tour dates and his thoughts on performing at the Greek Theater and the Kia Forum.

Transcripts

I have new tour dates to tell you about

I'll be in New Orleans Louisiana we're

coming back over there we're going to do

it at the Sanger theater down now down

now downtown March 29th and 30th that's

Easter weekend uh get your tickets early

with the pre-sale code Rat King starting

this Wednesday January 17th at 10:00

a.m. local time General on sale begins

Friday January 19th at 10: a.m. local

time we also have tickets remaining in

Charlottesville State College Amhurst uh

Brisbane Sydney in the Australia and

Atlanta Georgia get all your tickets at

theovon

docomo we are down here in Austin Texas

today over at Rooster Teeth Studios and

we are happy to be here and really happy

to let you know about today's guest um

he's one of the brightest young

comedians in the world he is just a damn

I mean just a long damn just Ivory

Flamingo of a of a boy and he is just so

humorous and you know him from Matt and

Shane's secret podcast and his latest

special beautiful dogs on Netflix I'm

grateful to get to spend time today with

my friend Mr Shane

[Music]

Gillis I'll sit and tell you my story

[Music]

shine on

me and I

[Music]

[Applause]

willing you ready I don't know I'm

really not it's a podcast who gives a

we can sit here and say nothing and

people be like

unbelievable the two comedic Geniuses of

our time done it again Legend going be

like yo how do you jack off how do you

poop people like holy

yeah I'm not worried about

it Legend dude how weird how weird is it

when people start saying you're a legend

you're like uh I just ate a Wendy's

Burger in the like family restroom by

myself I'm

depressed yeah that's always weird I

think cuz that's probably started to

happen you people were like dude this

guy's the king right some yeah yeah for

sure a lot of I've heard stuff like that

off-road Elvis people call you that late

Elvis Vegas Elvis fat Fat Sweaty dying

Elvis that actually fires me up I'll

take that yeah people say uh like you'd

be like the baddest Dyke in the world

people say I've heard that just

crazy and I mean holding back water I'm

not talking about oh yeah yeah stick a

finger in there dude if we went what if

we did under we were undercover lesbians

I think you and me can pull that off

real easy you get rid of that not all of

it I know oh yeah leave a little stubble

like one of those really crazy lesbians

yeah like the ones that are like you

know they want you to know they could

have been a men if they wanted to but

they chose this route for sure

yeah

um good to see you man good to see you

man Shane bro nice to see you dude happy

to see you you too man thanks for thanks

for hanging out and uh yeah and I was so

glad that I got to do Matt and Shane's

secret podcast bro yes dude dude that

was awesome that uh Matt's amazing

Matt's one of those guys it's like you

Tim Dylan and Matt are the guys Nick

Mullen can do it too it's nice to be on

a podcast with you guys where you can

just sit there and be like all right go

because I'm not I feel like I'm not that

great at it I'm good at you know yeah

I'm it's nice to have somebody that's

just like good at think geed up then I

can you know I can do something you know

yeah yeah you can but then I get yeah

sometimes the wheel start to fall off I

agree I I'm actually very similar if I'm

like all right this is fun I'm having a

good day sometimes I'll just yeah not

many not many funny responses just yeah

doing it with a buddy is so fun dude

because you have like there's just

somebody to talk to like sometimes I do

them by myself and I'm like I wish

there was somebody else here you know

doing it by yourself is crazy that's so

crazy I can I can't imagine

how often do you do that it really is I

think I do it like once a month right

now by myself be hard yeah I think it's

let me think about what it's like uh I

think sometimes it's just tough because

you're own if you have a bad attitude

it's just you you know I can't imag yeah

if I if I felt bad I would go on there

and just be like hey I feel bad but then

you don't want to be every week like hey

I feel like I know I've been in

several months of that yeah every

episode I'm like hung over again

yeah God damn it this is depressing yeah

really it makes you feel that like you

like every time you show up you're like

oh I'm hung over and you start to notice

a pattern you mean oh yeah for sure yeah

drinking too much that's but I love it I

love it dude I can't there's there's no

part of me that's like all right stop oh

yeah just like no this you got it that's

what you tell yourself you got no then

you're fully in control n man you're

good in complete control D dude one time

we were drinking with my buddy and uh he

got into the Uber right and he just

didn't get his like he had like real

kind of heavy legs cuz his mom kind of

had heavy legs but she would wear tight

pants and you kind of couldn't tell but

if you were over there a lot you knew

yeah that she kind of had really stocky

legs and um but he was bringing his

second leg into the Uber and his sandal

fell off right so then we had this place

we go bro he shows off no yeah

everybody was just like he just seems so

much drunker than he was you know it's

crazy I lo yeah that's yeah losing one

piece of Footwear and somebody's like oh

that guy like a lens of a glasses one

lens you're hammered dude you're

a crackhead now oh yeah that's that's

insane I feel like losing a glass is

lens you got a really yeah your kids are

like nuh-uh yeah yeah your kids are like

we're not we're going to order

pizza forever it's Pizza time yeah um

what was I looking at this morning that

was making me laugh it was um oh do you

see that thing with the mayor do you see

that thing with mayor with the mayor of

New York

no it's a um oh yeah this is it right

here do you see this so Eric Adams he

teaches what is he saying they're

teaching kids how to they're teaching

parents how to search your kids' room to

find drugs and gun stuff get you see

this you can look at a jewelry box a

jewelry box of this nature maybe a

simple jewelry box but if you look

through it closely you don't know what

your child may be hiding for instance a

gun that's from

New York government like make it scary

as hold on hold on start it over

that music is crazy scare the out

of these people it's like it almost

seems like a um like the story before

Castle Vania starts like on a video game

jewelry box a jewelry box this is

opening menu May a simp box but if you

look through it closely you don't know

what your child may be hiding for

instance a gun look at picture frames

behind them

try to determine what's what's taking

place behind a picture frame you can

find bullets you should always when your

child bring video game that's where you

find bullets in video games look through

it to see look through his naag you

might find a

grenade in addition to a book something

simple as a crack pipe something simple

as a as a baby dog what great is a kid

baby doll but also it could be a place

where you can secrete or hide

drugs secr this is the mayor that's

unusual like a pull like this with the

button is a perfect invitation to hide

something and I felt something bumpy I

will reach in see what it is just

look bro you guys have got to SL stop

man you guys have to see this I mean

it's just that's unbelievable look at

this where's wait where's the cocaine

at hi cocaine you can look in the

jewelry box a jewelry box I like it more

than just books to

jewry just look see what's inside your

bookcases more book this is like black

clue call me Colonel Mustard

look behind this picture of your cousin

what's that a eightball some

suppositories he's like oh look in look

in this baby doll what's in there a

shank a picture of Andy dof frame it's a

good kid I mean he's got guns and a

printer yeah oh it's a nice room yeah

it's like oh oh look under that Nintendo

switch oh what's that bam it's a 12

gauge and some tramad doll now and lers

he's got a lot of guns dud um that's

pretty awesome that's pretty awesome man

he's a good I like him Eric Adams yeah

he seems funny yeah seems

good yeah I think he obviously seems

down Earth he's willing to do that yeah

you know because that seems like it

could be like a sketch you know they

somebody think that was a sketch you

think who where's that from no that's

real it feels like Reno that's real

that's old though I don't know how that

has to be old there's no way New York it

was tweeted out like this week and

that's why it got the rounds I don't me

to punch holes in it cuz if that just

came out that looks like it's from 20

years ago it looks like that was yeah

check your son's Invisalign case he may

be hiding uh shotgun shells or just

bullets bullets yeah look behind that

autograph picture of Katie Perry oh

what's that that's a Gatling gun and

some oxies oh you you think it's just

your child's retainer case but open it

up and Bam it's an indentured servant

and some quays that is good for yeah

honky parents need to be doing this also

what do you mean like just you need to

find they need to find the weapons yeah

did your parents ever check your I'm

trying to think of my mom oh my mom came

in one time and I remember I was

touching myself right big

surprise and

uh she's like what what what are you

doing that's what she said shamed you

yeah she's like what are you

doing like and I was kind of sitting on

the bed it was almost like very almost

as if like in the 1800s you'd wandered

upon like a a guy who was like a a j

like a Jester traveling in the woods and

he taking off his suit and he's jerking

off on by the river bank or whatever you

know and she's like what are you doing

and I was like get out yeah and so then

she closed the door right she waited

like two seconds right I continued

Master B she came right back in dude I

had a hotel guy do this to me like a

couple months ago no way really I was in

Indianapolis a Indian man walked

straight in the room while I was jacking

off a real Indian guy wow no uh from

India oh yeah yes oh yeah Hotel yeah

definitely and he the guy at the front

stood there for yeah he stood there for

a while oh yeah and I was like yo you

got to get out of here and then he stood

outside the door waited like 15 seconds

and knocked oh wow I I started jacking

off as soon as he left again so I was

jerking off again I hear a knock

I was like dude get the out of here

what are you doing the crazy part is

imagining you walk over there with your

wiener still in your hand and look

through that little peephole you know

who somebody else someone different than

the guy I just screamed at with my

in my hand yeah hey get I was also I I

was naked laying on top of the ma bed oh

I didn't even get under the covers it

was right when I checked in oh that's

sad I just stripped down and went

straight to it you did yeah what is it

that makes us do that you know hotel

rooms it's almost like you know some

birds when they after they've flown for

a long way they'll like vomit right when

they land it's uh I don't want to it's

some like a seagull or something there

yeah you know some birds can fly almost

1100 miles before they land right but

there's some when they right when they

vomit they land will you look that up

yeah I see defensive vomiting that

turkey vultures do yeah I don't know

about when they land defensive vomiting

there a Philly a Phillies fan defensive

vomited on a kid one time really at a

game yeah the guy in front of him was

talking and he puked on his son

during the

baseball defensive that gu a turkey ball

dude yeah that's a Cracker Barrel

baptism right there dude got puked on at

a baseball game cuz your drunk dad with

one lens in his glasses was

mouthing off

dude there's way there's way too many

fights at these games these days or do

you think we're just recording them now

that's what it is I don't know there's

always been that many fights we're there

has always been that many fights but

it's so easy to get in a fight at a

sporting event yeah CU you want your

team to win so bad and then there's a

guy next to you like clapping hard for

the other team well people also some

yeah that's true so I hate him I can't

control this game but I can that

guy up oh it's a good point you know I

might be losing about 30 out there but

right here

going be moral Victory I'm going to get

arrested after the loss yeah I'm going

to be I'm going to vomit on this guy's

fat

[Laughter]

son vomiting on a kid is so funny well

just be like this game's not going

well there's no video is that the kid

and that's the guy who did it it's from

2010 there's no video leg dude he does

have one lens I knew it Matthew yeah he

does got one lens he has one lens you're

right Matthew Clemens Phillies fan

vomit vomit man

vomit a

superhero I guess he threw up on a cop

and a kid Dam wasn't just wow he on a

spree yeah it says right there what

Philadelphia Phillies fan Matthew

Clemens did was enough to make himself

sick and us too for that matter but at

least now he admits it wow good friend

we should call him sometime the

21-year-old Cherry Hill New Jersey and

I've been there made love to a native

American woman there which is crazy cuz

you were just talking about that I

forgot about that they were the the the

hotel was under Renovations and it was

crazy I think she thought I was bringing

her to like some like crazy place or

something cuz there was the you know all

that um pump there was a door Vis Queen

hanging everywhere like it was I don't

even think people should have been

staying there like you didn't even have

a door just like V Queen you had to hold

your car key up to the VIS Queen and

just make like a sound and then go in

your

room uh let me see Clemens pleaded

guilty to simple assault and other

charges Tuesday May 25th intentionally

vomiting on a man a police officer and

his 11-year-old daughter wow oh so he

was a police officer at the game he

wasn't like getting arrested wonder how

much time they gave him crime ciders

offering to buy vomit man a satellite

dish to discourage him from going to any

more games a satellite

dish Fu he's going to be

pumped vomit man getting a hold of a

satellite this let me buy you something

from the past you

know he got 30 to 90 day days in jail

and two years of probation oh did he wow

damn also quick update the Eric Adams

video was from 2011 when he's a senator

it went reviral Sor doing that is KFC

posted it on bar stool yeah check inside

of your son's baseball bat man he could

be hiding a couple of Viking in

there it's ridiculous you know

look under your little daughter's pillow

she could have some uh hookers or

escorts under there like what check

under the bed found you a under

there

yeah hey you oh you think that's a boogy

man under your son's bed that's some

Boogie that's a that's an

escort right there the khakis are so

nice in that video khakis and a blazer

just there could be bullets in there oh

you think that's a stuffed ludicrous

doll but open up its back and boom what

do you got a balloon of crystal and a

couple of Naran

chewables um what were we talking about

dude vomit man oh yeah you moved here I

did yeah you moved here since we last

talked to you yeah you made a big move

so like um cuz you moved from New York

yeah wow and was there part of you that

was kind of scared was there like what

were you thinking cuz I mean I've

thought about it you know and and a lot

of people have done it you know no I'd

come down here a lot because you know do

Rogan's podcast do podcast down here do

comedy so I've been down here enough so

I wasn't worried about like living here

I was worried

about uh Comics being like ah he

left New York he's trying to

suck Rogan's dick that that was like I

was like that's gonna happen I know that

uh no I was excited Matt was excited

about it so I knew I had Matt coming

down with me and then we brought our

other friends and it's good yeah yeah

yeah I uh and ta taxes are oh yeah yeah

butt New York dude yeah it's crazy

it's great yeah and uh oh what's that in

your daughter's bedroom what's that in

the case oh that's extra taxes that's

what tax dude that's taxes and a couple

of SAS bro like damn lot of taxes up

there oh it's crazy it's extra I think

14% what's the state tax rate in New

York City up there Zachary I think it's

uh 10. oh he's guessing what is it no

I'm not guessing I got

here

4% to 10.9% you see here wow because Los

Angeles is 13 I think per I was Hing

around that 4% range for a while when I

lived in New York and then you probably

moved up into at least that

6.85% yes yeah yeah dude so that's kind

of crazy so you moved yeah like yeah I

think some people say that they're like

oh do you want to move there because

Rogan's there because Dylan's there it

seems like the new thing and I think

yeah I kind of maybe I don't know if I

had some fear I I don't know I don't

know if I had fear of that you

definitely think oh people think you're

just yeah you're just riding that guy's

wiener you know yeah somebody F yeah I

mean um but also he's like I would say

if I was still in New York somebody else

moved here be like

couldn't take it I'd do the same thing

so yeah come back and pay these high

taxes pay these taxes live in a

hole in New York

yeah um but no I just want to move to a

place where you could do standup during

the week and forever it was just New

York and La that's true now now you can

do it in Nashville and Austin does it

feel well Nashville you cannot oh really

yeah you cannot it's not the same I will

I'll say that 100% it is not the same as

what the it feels like here yeah like

even just going over to um the

mothership it's like you can do three

sets in a night probably yeah you can do

you can do four every single time

there's usually two shows in the small

room two in the wow main room I mean

that's CRA you do four sets a night yeah

four sets a night in the same building

you can go do I mean that's that's

unprecedented you it's changing what's

nice is watching like like mccusker cuz

he was in Philly where you can't do that

and now he's been living here just a few

months and he's he's got he's gotten so

good really just from doing yeah he can

do it every night yeah I met him last

night or I met him uh at your yeah I met

him at your podcast I met his wife too

yeah Britney is her name yeah yeah yeah

yeah she got he gots a beautiful little

wife she's great

um yeah dude I think having that much

ability to get up is is it starts to

change you you're like oh I just

practiced it it didn't go in there let

me let me try it you're like right there

you get to bomb four times yeah take it

on the road and be like I'm not going to

change anything it's still not

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easier yeah that's wild dude yeah um

what has been like did you find a house

immediately how did you find a house

down here uh I just just had a lady a

real estate lady I was like I just need

a house that's furnished cuz I don't

have anything yeah so she first house

she picked out I was like that's it oh

yeah and I didn't see it until I moved

in nuh-uh it was nice yeah I moved in I

was like it's nice oh it's like

that show where you meet your wife the

first time yeah like Indians yeah that's

crazy dude bro because here's the

craziest part about that getting married

like that is you what if you know your

parents are lames dude like

they've been picking out for you

for Christmas

and they pick out like horrible I

don't know there's also the the the forc

marriage is kind of nice though cuz if I

like an ugly chick MH I'm like damn

people are going to find out about this

you know what I mean right now if it's

just like dude I had to you know what I

mean it's like my parents made me

this chick forever I don't care it's

girl's a girl D yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah dude oh I got it yeah it's like

being on a desert island oh I gotta tell

people next time down there what's that

I'm saying like if you're stuck on a

desert island you're going to you

know it's like this is who I'm with I

have to yeah there's no judgment here oh

yeah or like Epstein's

Island yeah you know if you're on island

you got all whatever my bad it's not I

think look let's talk about it if you're

on an island you have to Fu and there's

a lot of young people running around and

you're the only adult yeah what are you

going to do dude what are you going to

do come on man this way you need to

check through your

child check through your child's in

books easily in there they could have a

couple ninja stars and a bear trap that

guy's out of his mind that's

good

stuff um yeah dude uh what were we

talking

about was it

Island yeah we're talking about you

buying a house unseen yeah yeah that's

Brave I was the thing I was most worried

about was the television M cuz I thought

it was like they I thought they were

going to hit me with like the Airbnb

pictures like you get there and you're

like a this house sucks TV's big

right so I'm good oh that's good H we're

set thank God it's furnished I would

have never I'd never furnish it really

yeah I have one folding chair in front

of the TV yeah yeah yeah my house was

furnished when I got my house thank God

and uh and then who told me oh Tom sigur

told me in this room he said hey man you

got to start getting some art for

yourself you have to get something you

like because it really does start to

change the way that you think about your

own home Tom Tom's becoming like the

Jay-Z of stand up like you got to invest

in art

yeah he's got art he's got sneakers he's

got uh yamar uh what the car is called

the fastest one McLaren McLaren is that

it yeah that's wild to me I think I

would be scared to be like real rich I

wouldn't know how to do it I bet you're

all right oh I think I'm I'm okay having

more money for sure but I think if I

tried to be real Rich I just don't know

how I would I don't know what I would

spend money on you

know like would you get a super fast car

um no I don't I'm afraid to drive fast

yeah yeah I think yeah I just don't know

what I would get probably guns probably

a couple you got to get guns Yeah couple

for your neighbors couple for you yeah

give them out yeah you don't want to

shoot at your neighbors hide them in

your kids room your neighbor kids room

start planting guns oh damn

what's this behind this child's bathing

suit right there it's an AR15 yeah

oh that's a oh you think that's a the

most dangerous gun in the world yeah you

think that's a water weapon that's a

AR15 right there with some blood on it

no I get I understand Tom though he's

doing I mean he's got he's he's got

money why should you know oh I think

there's he knows how to spend it yeah I

just wonder what yeah I guess I hadn't

really thought about what I would spend

what I would buy like if I bought myself

something nice you know have you started

to think I mean well you got yourself a

house yeah I rented it yeah yeah I

didn't buy yeah but that's nice yeah

that's nice yeah I don't know hot air

balloon or something cool be

nice those are scary though I'd rather

go fast than get one of those yeah but

if you really Master the art of it I got

a buddy that used to fly one and he

could that would show the

up H hold on you see these things

crash huh dude they come down on power

lines and it's so funny yeah if you

don't know what you're doing yeah I

think you got to get one of those D yeah

pull up some crashes huh you got to pull

up and some of them run on diesel I

think huh they catch fire too yeah yeah

it's scary what's that in your

four-year-old's bedroom a hot air

balloon

H oh look at this coming in

hot oh some guy in his son H hang on

hang

on hang on

Tater balloon

crash the wind's picked up sometimes if

people have a really thick Sun they'll

name their nickname is always like a

starchy food you ever noticed that yeah

come on Tater T get it done cake pop

that's

yeah yeah get in there pancake batter

they'll call

them it's my son pancake batter come on

batter get in the truck dude we're going

to fly a balloon just

Hang On Pop hang on cake pop hang on

cake pop cake pop

NOP dude and you know one of their

family members definitely shot that

down in the distance dude that's

also a risk dude anyone could shoot you

down anonymously dude you can take those

things out you'll never get caught yeah

pull that up man anonymously shoots down

hot your balloons watch there's like

2,000 videos of that get a Confederate

flag air balloon oo that'd be cool huh

yeah let it fly get a Target go tough

huh yeah go tough on them see who see

who wants to shoot it down you

dude fly past like uh like the

uh Bou classic or something every year

get him fired

up but dude I will say this if you hang

one speaker out of it playing do the

stanky leg everybody will let it go

by people will be like oh all right oh

there we go Civil War yeah they had them

yeah what were the hot air balloons used

during the Civil War for they would just

use it

surveillance oh it's spy plane I think

Napoleon used them first really maybe

not first but he was he was using it's

like bums with drones like we were

talking about yeah i' Scar the out

of you if the other side had that both

the union and Confederacy used hot air

balloons for reconnaissance to help

determine the location of troops and

artillery this innovation in aerial

Warfare was a Trailblazer for for it

time as it took place 42 years before

the invention of the airplane

wow but dude imagine that starts

going down near the enemy oh

can't turn it just hang

on hold on cake pop cake pop

No god dude that kind of shit's just

heartbreaking no hot air

balloons you can't get you don't want

one of those but imagine you run outside

you in one huh yeah I've been one really

yeah I've been in one uh I was with my

buddy's dad when we were kids he like

proposed to this lady in one dude and

yeah and she said no and so then we're

like well what the we're that's a

tough rest of the trip yeah and we were

trying not to like act excited cuz we're

in there because he we could tell like

he was bummed out it's tough to be

bummed out on like the ledge of a hot

air like looking away from them

like trying to be sad oh it was sad dude

and that guy's always he's been sad

since then there's a lot of videos of

him online and he's always listening to

that song um there goes my hero watch

him as he goes just seeing his old self

just being like that that's the man I

used to be yeah Tiffany was his

girlfriend's name and she's like I don't

think so that's how she said it we're

like what the

it's like yeah and it was like 70

more minutes we had to spend up there

yeah long cuz the tour guy I think he

didn't really play know what was going

on so he just kept giving us the tour of

like oh no yeah

oh it's like that to just makes you

wonder what's going on yeah I think that

people up like when you're

supposed to be happy like a cool like a

hot air balloon or like yeah that kid

jumping off the cruise ship like

having something like that was supposed

to be fun and good get horribly ruined

yeah that kid was from Baton Rouge

Louisiana I don't know if we talked

about that last time we were together

but maybe that kid was good top he was

just partying and he jumped off and

never seen again check this out

yeah but the craziest is people were

like that's a shark there's like one

little piece of like water and it just

looks like some white and like definite

shark people make like comments like

that online oh quick for a shark to

munch him that quick if impossible I

feel like they take their time right

well also the odds of shark is going to

be right there at that moment I do think

sharks follow cruise

ships Serge called off oh that's the

toughest oh that's

yeah

bye oh saying bye-bye to him oh that's

the worst you got to regret that you

know dude something like that happened

to me man it was when we had a guy who

fell on a basketball court and died when

we were kids and when he fell I yelled

out like Reggie Lewis remember there was

that guy Reggie Lewis that had died no

Reggie Lewis look him up if you can

Reggie

Lewis

uh that's him right there Reginald C

Lewis was an american professional

basketball player for the

NBA Boston Celtics that was it beautiful

man right there and he collapsed on the

court who was there was another guy that

did that too that was like a I think it

was BJ

Armstrong maybe is your famous

um Keon Johnson no no no don't just name

a black guy Johnson no there's some yeah

but but it happens to people but yeah

this happened to him and so we thought

this guy just fallen down tripped and so

I remember yelling that out Reggie Lewis

and then they tried to revive him and he

died oh no I didn't Jinx him that's

insane to say toed him dude I can't

believe you put that

on I didn't Jinx him sounds look up if I

jinxed him or

not I don't think you jinxed him yeah

that's heartbreaking though I'm sorry

that I did that um how's it have you

felt good about moving here now once you

moved here was it kind of like different

or was it different than you thought

like what are some things that were kind

of cool about it I don't know it's I you

know you know when you move I was sad

for like a week oh really yeah I was by

myself it was scary I was used to having

I was used to live in apartments

I lived in Philly and New York the last

decade so I was like there's usually

somebody around

now I was out there by myself I got

scared for a while I was scared really I

get scared at night noises yeah yeah you

think it's a noise and he says you

farted just waking myself up with

farts the was

that uh yeah I mean I was scared for a

while yeah I would I was emotional I

would cry during movies when I was at at

night by myself oh yeah yeah uh so

that's what you have to look forward to

scary and you cry that's it oh that's

just think that's just part of the

American condition these days then oh

you're fine then yeah that was all um

yeah because I think I thought I don't

know if I thought naille would be a

busier comedy scene I I I didn't think

that um because they just have one Club

it's like a functioning Club there right

it's like they have a a headliner flies

in every weekend so they they help you

as much as they can but they just don't

have as much space you know um and then

there's not a lot as many other rooms

around the area but here it's like yeah

it feels like you could go we met a guy

last night he done like five spots you

know yeah you can do that here it's like

wow yeah I mean that's crazy to think

you could do that in a city I mean there

was never maybe Chicago you could do

that in maybe I don't know New York

obviously you can yeah la la definitely

those are the two yeah but that was yeah

I don't

know um but yeah you can do it if you

want yeah

yeah all right this is going well this

is going well um what else we got I'm

trying to think of other uh horrible

deaths I can think of oh D you what

about that there was something I was

looking at the other day it was a um

pull up that what's that Death Page on

Twitter where they have a lot of deaths

on there it's an animal I might have

even sent it to you the other day oh

history photographed we were looking at

this picture uh back in the day they had

to hang an elephant oh there you go to

just read the C this just to look at the

judicial system in the world right

so this elephant right the hanging of

Mary the ele elephant also known as

murderous Mary I guess a bad elephant

was publicly executed for killing her

Handler in 1916 it was meant to be a

warning to other criminal

elephants

so there

go so it just you got to think the

judicial abilities of human beings is

always why

but I guess if you're another elephant

you gotta be

like yeah I see what's going on here

yeah these mother mean business cut uh I

mean the idea though yeah the guy who

was likeing hang that

everyone else is probably

shoot it in the

head behind closed doors we'll just

we'll be done with this elephant like

behind a huge closed door doing we got

to make an example of this yeah yeah not

this murderous marry not this have

you seen what she's fing doing she

probably did some pretty crazy yeah

this Drank 200 gallons ofing water I uh

I had a friend who's uh a friend of

their mother's was like a big elephant

Advocate like was like she was a rich

lady so she was like save the elephant

oh yeah rich people do that man that was

her cause and then she fin kids hate

them so they save rare animals so then

she was like all right she went to

Africa to like her first trip to meet

the elephants and one of them killed her

oh killed her

dude and they don't I don't think people

no this about elephant they don't kill

you it's not fun dude they don't it's

they ground you they use their face and

mush you into the ground oh yeah it's

like when you see people do like um the

stone ground uh yeah into the flower and

stuff yeah I just like they're Artisan

chefs elephants are they are they'll

grind you up oh that's heartbreaking

elephant kills oh this is a different

one but yes this is also incredible damn

whoa hold on this is awesome is elephant

a euphemism for somebody because let's

go back and read this elephant kills

woman and returns to her funeral

elephant kills woman and returns to her

funeral to attacker corpse

wow o odisha India bizarre animal

stories are heard often Maya meru was

collecting water in ripi village located

in the me

B my Bahan District of odisha India when

a herd of elephants came her way she

tried to flee but one of them rushed her

oh that's heartbreaking

man let me see at the ceremony was taken

place the times video reported that a

herd of elephants appeared from the

force sending villagers running they

left meu's body behind wow she had a

liquid death

what one of the elephants did reportedly

attacked the woman's Court by picking up

the body and throwing it in the

air

wow thankfully there's a video should I

play it yeah I don't know let's take a

vote in the

room I mean it's all right I'm not

everybody said yes

yeah that's

good I didn't want to do

[Laughter]

it oh man oh this is just after the

aftermath yeah I don't think they I

don't think

oh that'd be the worst I think if the

element came in your house that'd be up

there cuz even if you go in another room

it can just come right in there yeah

it's not like it has to use the door you

know that' be so hectic man I mean

especially like at your mom's funeral

yeah you're like there's that

that did it yeah he's

coming back to everybody else up

too

mhm you think he could do a big crime

like that do a big murder I I don't

think I could murder I don't think well

now you think it's just an empty bottle

of Prime on your child's window sill

well open it up and Bam that's some

homemade lean topped off with a little

mini cache of nerve gas who was that for

dude that's Eric

yeah who's K was that Hunter

Biden's room yeah that's crazy but yeah

that actually was yeah oh what's this

here that's a My Little Pony no that's a

my little F and all stash

yeah um what else can we talk about dude

I don't know that's about as good as it

gets though hot air balloons yeah

elephants but if you could do a

murder or not man yeah I know God

wouldn't want me to do it that would be

the thing yeah he would be like don't do

it

buddy and I would be like I'm not gonna

and then I would maybe sneak I swear I'm

not going to do it hit under the table

so God can't see little greo little Han

Solo they should have tables that are

like God resistant or whatever like

whatever happens under here you know

yeah um I remember a girl let me feel

her back one time at the library we're

kind of horny children or whatever yeah

I guess she didn't want me touching her

breast whatever I think maybe I don't I

didn't even know what was going on but

back's good she's like you can feel on

my back back's real good and that extra

man we just feeling her back I'm going

to be a back man now that you mention it

nice huh rubbing a lady's back

it's one big flat long

tit yeah that's all the back is you say

yeah you know yeah let me get that flat

let me get the small the small of the

back put your hand there you got holy

dud if you touched one the small of

her back and her body her she it felt

warmer there you're like I don't know

you know it like she was baking cookies

in her butt or something yeah it felt

always war or there you know what I'm

talking about it is warm yeah like whoa

what am I doing down here I remember the

first time a girl let me touch a small

her back and had some hair on it right

cuz her dad was really

tough and I was like I don't care I'll

pet this girl yeah I don't mind

I will pet this I'm in

love girls sometimes girls have really

hairy butts really yeah I think

naturally girls sometimes have I think

they have to they have to work on that I

don't some of them get like man's ass I

don't think they do dude I don't think

these are unless I'm getting

tricked you're getting tricked by some

of that that ass search girl hairy ass

girl yeah bring something up we have

blockers on a lot of our stuff but if

you can get around some of it maybe on

Twitter are you allowed to show hair I

was looking for a picture but read this

top Reddit

post my girlfriend has a lot of hair on

her ass how do I approach this great

question let's let's review this do you

have problem is that her is very

hairy this is on ask women by the way

the

subd if it bothers you so much you can't

be with her because of it you have to

straight up tell her about it why is she

getting all ratchet all a suddenly

somebody just reported hair she's like

you got to straight up tell her about it

period honey your hairy disturbs

me here's the actual post but I think

you're um my girlfriend is beautiful and

she does a great job of manicuring her

lady bits the problem is that her

and they wrote it like that is

very hairy it's kind of a turnoff when

I'm down there a few would wouldn't

bother me but this is a lot more than a

few

oh how did you all start taking care of

your nether regions did you read about

it in a magazine or you just do it

naturally how should I approach this

topic with her without getting her upset

start getting those magazines laying

them around yeah she's taking a hairy

ass you can leave one in the

bathroom e dude hairy butt

ladies you hary butt I know starting to

bother me again

dude I don't know if I would mind a

little hair like on the hips probably I

just think the actual cheeks if there

were hair on them the crack dude not the

cheeks like a man's like an Italian

man's ass God damn dude like a

Jewish Sideburn down there huh yeah

getting in her Jewish tunnels you see

them coming out of tunnels what oh oh

the

or bring that up dude Jew it's better

they're getting some bad PR lately and

that's this might be the worst one guy

came out all right this is I swear to

God I'm not being anti-semitic a dude

Jewish dude coming out of a sord grate

in New York oh yeah it defit a video of

that and it's a New York synagogue

erupted into a chaos Monday night let's

play a bit of it all right that is tough

to address though I know we're moving on

to Jews and tunnels but well well let's

finish it out then ass woman let's

finish out then we'll go to this because

I think well I think the tough well some

people they make hair on their bodies to

survive cold weather can you look that

up Zach you know what I'm talking about

I think yeah I think that's what it airs

for yeah so sometimes you don't want to

have a wife that can't survive if you

know you don't want to put the AC at 60

always cold yeah yeah you don't want to

put AC at 64 one night and then she

she's dead in the

morning you know it's a good trade-off

would you accept your girl to never

complain about being cold but

she has to have a hairy ass or she

complains every single day now

what if it were like stuffed animal hair

that would be kind of fun that would be

nice that I agree with but I'm telling

you I've seen videos D these girls have

Italian man's ass like long hair

like dude it looks like a dude's

ass pull up something oh no oh my

god well that's more than I've ever seen

but oh wow that's a lot

huh and you can't see this video on the

audio but there's just a black girl

watching it with her mouth open the same

face we're all make yeah oh my God all

right holy

dude wow I'm telling you dude they have

Greek man's ass wow and what who has

that who has the most hair on their ass

is

it I haven't found a culture I would say

Russ look that up and what do you do how

do you approach that you

Mediteranean how do you approach that

with a woman I don't know how I would

never but you you've obviously dealt

with it no and South Asian descender

reported have a relatively high amount

of body hair Mediterranean Mediterranean

Middle Eastern and South Asian

descent wow yeah I think God I just

because the crazy thing see if you feel

down her butt and then you feel some

hair

there but you have to still be hopeful

for you know I just think yeah what do

you do yeah I don't know how to address

my friend was talking to me about

addressing his he was afraid his

girlfriend was gaining weight and he was

like so I told her and I was like damn I

would never I would let her get fat and

then resent her and break up with her

yeah also who am I to criticize but you

know you know I think a lot of people do

that a lot of people oh I was even if

they're not gaining weight or whatever I

think I was in I stayed with a girl just

because I hated her so much

once I was like well if if you if I if I

let you go you might find happiness I'm

going to make sure you're

miserable too isn't that horrible and I

feel horrible about that but I was young

and I was just that kind of you

know I didn't know how to operate or be

a decent human at all but yeah pull up

that ass again buddy oh

yeah it's the other cheek that gets you

cuz that cheek's already almost

done I love how one of the black girls

eyes keeps closing more she watches more

of it

dude oh that's crazy man God yeah but

then but then I bet here now we'll say

this Shane think about it a long time

ago 1300s fours or whenever early right

and you get a woman and she has hair on

her bet it feels good I bet it does feel

good you

know that's good now if you're a

freak and you start petting it a little

I some of it is how you approach it I

could see that you're like a let me pet

this little hair hair

butt that's nice twist it up a

little yeah hey let me get a little in

yank it real hard which you do expected

that's

fun that's fun dude dude I got hair like

on my legs and I've been running a lot

bro and it starts to get tangled up and

I'm like what the heck that's been

pretty challenging do you wish you'd

learned how to manage money in school I

do God I didn't you know I was keeping

up my money and my dang underpant drawer

and all of that I forgot to cash checks

I need had to cash them and so I had

dang 40 checks and the pizza place I

worked at went out of business and I

lost a lot of that money but it's hard

it's hard if you don't know about money

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to you bu better help you know uh a new

year and and a new beginning people say

that kind of stuff a lot sometimes you

need a new beginning with yourself you

know sometimes I find my relationship

with myself has gotten kind of stale I

don't investigate it I don't look at it

and I don't really kind of aim to fix

some of the things that I know could

help me help me feel better really

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therapist at any time for no additional

charge and if you if you don't if you're

if you're not getting something out of

your therapy then I recommend trying to

switch therapist you can always go back

it's something that I I wish I had done

uh sometimes and I didn't celebrate the

progress you've already made by VIs

visiting betterhelp.com

EO today to get 10% off your first month

that's better

hp.com Theo but yeah bring up those Jews

again man what were they

doing yeah so I guess NYPD on Monday

busted like a secret meeting they I

guess they had been building secret

tunnels underneath through what the

financial

system I mean this is worst case for the

Jewish people not not worse they yeah

but not even the worst thing in the last

few but all right this is crazy

man they do get after it oh they're

crazy look at this one dude they get

after it this one that popped out of the

floor right there po out of nowhere and

he's D biggie walls look at that dude

you see him don't flip the pews Brothers

oh they it's just hectic man do you see

how comfortable that guy was

walking the plank yeah bro these people

they were fine with this or this is

Orthodox Jewish group group man this

incident let me read the article so the

incident began Monday afternoon after a

cement truck was sent to the kabad luich

world headquarters known as the 770 due

to its address in Crown Heights

according to uh Co live the truck was

ordered to fill up an underground tunnel

that had run from the main synagogue to

a now closed building next door the

outlet

reported first reports of the tunnel

surface in late 2023 after homeowner had

called authorities about of suspicious

noises in his neighborhood and that's

drling isn't it I think think of hearing

noises under your

house Jewish guys it's just somebody

listening to modest

Yahoo like hey what's going on you can't

tell anyone you can't be like dude I

swear to God there's Jews under my

house dude I know there's Jews

down there no one's going to believe you

yeah they're like dude you mean you need

to put down the internet Jews

aren't everywhere like that you mean

underwriting your morgage or what are

you talking about they're like no they

no they're in there I hear them

they

whisper however following excavation of

a trench for the project um

simultaneously a construction project

was in progress to install new Plumbing

in the

770 um however following excavation the

underground tunnel had been discovered

the tunnel had reportedly been worked on

during nights for an unknown amount of

time stretching the tunnel to a next

door building women's section Ah that's

nice yeah meet me in the tunnel

babe that's good that's crazy dude and

that's Orthodox Jew is that Orthodox

Jewish people it appears so yes those

people are wild man we had a garbage man

on right and from New York and he said

the worst

people that he came across were Orthodox

Jewish people dude New York he said the

kids would come out and tell him to just

go himself and flip him off dude

they look at them getting rowdy with the

they were getting rowdy during Co I

think I heard maybe those tunnels were

so they could continue to go to

synagogue during during Co

they locked that down right that's what

you know that's what the media is saying

well that right right by the media we

mean them so here's the guy coming out

of the grade look the guy coming out of

the grade is one of the most

anti-Semitic things I've ever seen in my

life dude oh

wow oh no where is this guy going dude

to get a rebate yeah that's insane

coming out of the Great bro they started

pepper spraying them and pepper spray is

not Kosher I don't think look it up

there's going to be some losses but no

we had a go we had a garbage man he said

that for some reason those people were

like kind of the coldest to him what did

he say Zach he he mentioned that the

kids would with his truck and he

hated going there that was the main

thing and he also just said they were

rude and also was is the new year they

throw all their out every year oh

yeah that was part of it too I think so

there's probably some anger from him

because they had to pick up so much

stuff like they do like a cleansing I

guess I gu say like it's part of

tradition to like reset everything when

the new year like throw everything out

and buy new so like that day of the year

he would they said they would just go up

and down the same street all goes

against some

stereotypes yeah you know that's true

yeah getting all new stuff man um but

they had this is this they had a group

in I don't know if it was in New York it

was like Orthodox Jewish people they

would move into a neighborhood bring the

value of the neighborhood down and then

um buy up the other places and then

bring it back

up there was some law again uh it was

like a lawsuit that they

made or something um

anyway uh it's touchy subject but

there's no denying that there's tunnels

that is funny oh yeah it is there's

nothing we can do about you know we're

not trying to be oh I don't think we're

being bad people or anything because the

yeah these guys popped up out of a

tunnel anybody out tunnel so

fun it's funny when you

ever see the video Chapo Escape in

prison it's great anybody going in and

out of a tunnel is

hilarious he goes into a tunnel like

behind a toilet he just escapes did you

see the one there's like some guy in his

trailer right and a methhead comes up

through just like the vent in the floor

that he has like you know and it's like

looking for something it's so startling

and the guy's like what in the are

you doing in here somebody coming out

coming out of the floor is so

scary cuz they're not going to come out

like smiling they're going to come

out holy it's a bunch of

Ninja Turtles dude oh is this it yeah

Choo you find the time is right Super

Mario is right

out he's gone dude he's gone

[Music]

wow you have me you got to make it

Mexican

somehow I don't know how to do it um um

get that's wild dude bro how SI how fun

would that be to break out of prison

though awesome how would you do it you

think you're big no tunnels yeah you get

stuck yeah I think I'm in there I think

I'm stuck dude I think got go to

jail I'm in jail there's no getting out

man yeah I can't get out

laundry basket's too small yeah but

Warden you big boss man you look like

the big boss man I mean obviously you're

going to play him in a bio uh bio pick

biopic uh no I think I'm in there how

are you getting out damn God damn

it God damn it

dude

so and look this goes back to no you

dare fade that you just zoom in on

that big with the one you already have

that's biggest please if you don't mind

let's just get a gander at this

fella oh Shane I get it get out there

bro that's your hot air balloon of

success right there jump on that

yeah oh was that going the wrong way

yeah I do that all the time so nice if

I'm feeling bad at the at the gym or at

home mostly at home it's time D that was

some Brazilian barber shop and they keep

tagging me and really with some kid

that kid was

Brazilian for those you don't know Shane

put like a uh he he saw this hand signal

what is it was great uh my friend Billy

sent it to me and then I sent it to a g

Davis who plays for the bills and it's

just a hand signal on Tik Tok ofid funny

ass just a chubby kid doing a funny he

was actually I didn't realize it it was

a barber shop so he was showing off his

fade oh that's what the next scene is so

the first scene is him

going and then it cuts to him with his

new

haircut it was fun Gabe Davis did it

yeah shout out to the boy Gabriel but

yeah it is a nice thing to do it feels

feels good what does just doing

that first thought so you hit up Gabe

Davis and he says okay this is crazy

I'll do it how many times did you hit up

Gabe Davis a lot okay I talked to him a

lot but I didn't I didn't think he was

actually ever going to do it going to do

it yeah and you said you got to do this

it'll be good yeah and he was like yeah

I'll do it and I was like I don't know

like I figured the adrenaline of scoring

a touchdown would he'd forget take over

yeah especially that that was a nice

play he remembered for me wow what a

sweet man bro how good did you feel when

he did this I was Str right here I was

so happy I was so i' I don't

it's probably the happiest I've been in

a long time oh defin like jumped off my

couch I was like did it oh you got to

vomit on somebody's kid when that

happens yeah there's no kids around I

would have I almost went to the tunnels

I went down there and puked in the

tunnels sprayed them out

yeah what the were those guys doing

those tunnels it's New York too like you

don't need everything's pretty close

probably just hunting square footage

dude to be honest that's AIG

thing like this could be another six

square

feet um that's crazy but that

had to be unbelievable dude I think

there's just something crazy if you can

have an influence on Sports cuz sports

are such like this like it just feels

like such this guess every man wants to

do it yeah you know you give anything to

be able to run and catch it yeah you

know and you just can't you know can't

there's no part of me that can do

it yeah I wonder how I'd get out of

prison

probably I'd first of all I'd go in as a

woman and good people like you ain't no

woman that's what somebody say me

like what Chappelle did that oh

you'd have to punch woman right out the

gate right Chappelle does that he's like

I'm going to go to jail as a woman and

he's like first day I'm like give me

that fruit cup like just his act

out fisted up is so

funny but these days you can't say I

guess you're not a woman you know well

here's what I think they should do and I

thought about this a lot like especially

I don't understand why mixed martial

arts doesn't start with a

um a trans

division yeah it'd be awesome yeah

because it's like then you can Champion

these trans Fighters you can let them

Embrace and share what it's like cuz

otherwise you're just kind of hodg

podging them in yeah you know and then

it's a lot of dudes if they really want

to go play ball they're GNA have to go

play ball you can't just you know simp

over to the woman's side yeah you know

and be bringing your hair but

over there to the lady section

you gotta actually like if they had a

trans Division I would pay I feel like I

would pay $4 extra a month to see the

the trans bouts or you know I feel like

it would be it'd be

unprecedented it'd be fun yeah it is

yeah it's I like to see him in the

women's sports you do I yeah some man in

there yeah just

up it's great D but here's what

they they should though on the TV it

should every now and then to say have an

arrow say this is a man they need to

start doing like uh Monday Night

Football intros for every female sport

oh you can tell you know what I mean

it's like hi I'm Mary I went to

UCLA

Frank

Purdue oh yeah oh that's the that's the

one there I wonder he's got 48 points in

the first half yeah he's like Rick

Women's College of

design Wes layan you're like what that

that that Cal yeah

that is a hair butt that's a hair butt

people don't talk about that those are

yeah postgame showers with the with the

god see that would be that is a reason I

think I would go experiment with

transing or whatever because you get to

get in those showers

dude but I bet in some of the sports

it's it's not that rewarding I'm sure in

some of the sports you know you think I

think some of those female locker rooms

I I wouldn't be too excited as much like

if I got into like college volleyball if

I could trick my way into that that'd be

a good shower for them I mean for me it

would be that's literally a nightmare me

naked in front of a college

volleyball team is a nightmare you'd

have to be so embarrassed but you'd have

to get your breast Pierce probably to

like at least blend you know cuz some of

the chicks are tough nowadays and then

you'd probably have to draw on a little

more tit or use like a shadowing cream

tit side I'd be okay but the having just

a tiny in there would probably th

you know call it a long

now we're talking and they're

women you could trick them yeah be like

oh I guess he has

long yeah well people have been tricking

Prett year that's crazy easy to it's

like a a heart's husband he bought her

that plane do you know that no he bought

the plane a lot of people don't know

that so yeah I guess that makes sense

what are we doing

here oh man what else can we talk about

dude anything else in the News

Zach yeah you were talking about this

earlier you've brought this up before

Consumer Reports found widespread

presence of plastics and food oh yeah

well dude that's what they said you know

they had that article we've talked about

this before this says the the nonprofit

consumer group said on Thursday that 84

out of

85 super supermarket foods and fast

foods that recently tested contain

plasticizers known

as phalates phalates

a chemical used to make plastic more

durable I've heard phalates a lot lately

or however you say it phthalates

yeah I've heard people saying it a lot

but yeah I never understood what it was

well this is one of the issues that say

um it says phthalates and VI B vice vice

bisphenols can disrupt the production

and regulation of estrogen and other

hormones potentially boosting the risk

of birth defects cancer diabetes

infertility neurodevelopment disorders

obesity and other health

problems bastards got me dude I do fail

they got it dude no wonder they're

running off through the tunnels dude

they got us bro it's over bro but that's

when you think about this right that the

stuff that we're eating and if there's

so much contamination just like in the

land in the water that's what's making

like people sick um um what else

ADHD uh genetic disorders all kinds of

stuff like Bobby Kennedy talks about

that about how many things are linked to

it you know that he thinks anyway we

might have got in under the buzzer you

and me were we were the last now all the

kids have it oh dude we right on the

board I think we both got it something

but not the whole thing everybody you

meet has a autistic child now yeah it's

unbelievable yeah you know it's almost

um you know and people nicknames here's

our this is our little ring cam they

call them or something you know like

because a lot of them are really like

perceptive you know but they don't

really say much um yeah that's

unbelievable but that's why I wanted to

come out sometimes I think about what if

we made like a product or something that

we knew wouldn't have that in it like

what if we just said hey we want to sell

you this water yeah and we promise your

kid will not have

autism we promise autism free water cuz

as a country we would like to say at the

very

least you deserve to have autism free

water now we're talking now that's a

business although I do think we are

going to need autistic kids oh yeah I

mean yeah when the future is all just

technology and we're going to cyber war

with China we're going to want

those guys yeah we're going to need them

yeah you know what I mean oh definitely

yeah I think well a lot of the business

is now run by like people that some

people say could have some autism you

know a lot of there's a lot of

speculation that Jeff Bezos has it

Zuckerberg Bezos musk Zuckerberg

definitely yeah musk um yeah certainly

seems like he has some who else dude

Dennis Allen that coaches the Saints

yeah um who

else I'm not sure pretty Eric

Adams has got it oh

Eric got something

oh that's that guy definitely got it huh

oh you look peep through your child's

lunchable oh you think that's just a

small stack of ham no look under there

that's a gram of methan pamin like damn

Eric there's a party in that kid's room

every time that kid is running a

ra that kid lives in Las Vegas dude um

do you think about moving back from here

you think you're settled in you're good

I I don't know I don't think I live here

forever but yeah I like it here yeah

what that's just a big I don't yeah I I

don't know I'll probably move home to

like outside of Philly wow yeah

eventually yeah yeah I like it up there

the brotherly City huh mhm cly a

brotherly um it depends yeah it depends

how shitty things are in the next 10

years yeah what do you think the next 10

years of life is like in in in in uh

America do you think it gets bad I I

don't know yeah the

bums somebody's got to fix this problem

I don't know what it is which problem

the bums dude oh the bums there's a lot

of bums yeah I say arm them that's where

I'm at and send them yeah and send them

all towards the big like businesses

that's what I would do

oh is that crazy that's messed up no no

no give them guns tell them not guns I

wouldn't say oh you well even worse like

machetes and no what type of what

type of arms something if they're well

behaved it turns into a

weapon so like yeah like a bow staff

that has maybe a blade on the end but

and they have to put both hands on it

and it can tell if you're being good or

not you test your heart rate if it's too

high you're not getting it yeah yeah

know you need low heart

rate Warriors first of all I don't like

using the term bums okay I like using

the

term boots on the ground those are boots

on the ground Heroes of society and

stepdads yes so you're talking giving

Ninja Turtle weapons to homeless guys

let just see what happens oh I'm talking

give him the the Donatello eye

uh the eye um what's it called um rag

for your eyes like a thing that holds

your eyes in but it doesn't it's like a

Zoro mask yeah Zoro mask that would be

good and lead them they're gonna need

leaders you could do it you think I

could lead the bums yeah get you a horse

horse would be bit they would respect a

horse they're like the

Aztecs mean just a guy on a horse they

be like this guy he's a

god somebody rolls up on a horse yeah

definitely yeah I'm just they are

impervious to a lot of damage

horses no the uh well horses but

homeless people yeah they get

walk through tasers well they've been

infected by so much they battled so many

things we got tased after a show in uh

shreport and uh and here's the crazy

part I I I I started doing comedy in

Louisiana and so we go to sometimes

Street Port and afterwards this was for

15 years ago they'd say hey man we'll

tase you if you want you know the cops

would come up and tase people in the bar

because there's just not a lot of like

uh nighti yeah so here I am 15 years

later shows over we're sitting around

with a couple of officers and one of

them goes um with a couple of off-duty

police people yeah and one of them goes

hey man we'll tase you if you want and I

was like no way you guys are

still doing that and they lit us

all up we got it together as a group in

locked arms or whatever like a Harvey

Milk kind of thing and then they um lit

us up how it feel it hurt you know it's

not as bad as you would think at all at

all it's definitely a little bit of a

surprise you know it's got to feel weird

it feels like somebody in the

like great beyond press a

doorbell that you didn't

know was connected to you you know yeah

it's actually

really yeah but the pain is it's not as

painful it's just as surprising as could

be it's like extremely surprising they

can go through the tasers they can go

through a lot well they're immune to a

lot of disease yeah well at a certain

point that would be a lot of society too

is you know we'd all be out there

just I don't

know we wouldn't be you'd be immune to

all the things because you are still

alive on the streets yeah and you'd want

to probably Strike Back Against the

rich where do when we do this okay all

right where do we meet up that's a

question I want to know and that's a big

question I'm trying to think of good

there's good cities for this Austin's a

very good city where do you meet up for

the for the

revolution the mothership dude six

Street perfect dude who have our

military would overdose okay on

Fireball right before we even made it to

the first 5G Tower okay yeah we're

there's going to be some attrition

there's gonna be some guys going at wall

it's gonna be tough keeping the troops

together dude I wouldn't call a guy who

wants to sing karaoke all night somebody

going we're going to six Street we're

taking that out the bum's rising up on

six okay now that if we take Sixth

Street out that would be now that I like

yeah and you're going to recruit a lot

of um lot of talented young people you

could probably get you know some of the

Texas Longhorns maybe oh that'd be good

y Quinn ERS he's staying another year he

joined probably um I thought we were

just recruiting uh homeless people but I

think other people are going to get

jealous when they start to see you doing

well they're like ah I'll do it the

masks and the swords and yeah cuz

sigep is going to be nothing against a

homeless but

Italian

okay zette might be number one we might

go down frat row and just yeah dude I

don't want the boys getting into a

sorority I will say no sority I'll

command them I'll say leave the leave

the Queens alone yeah leave the Queens

alone that is it now if you want to get

into the some of these young fellas Rock

these

[Laughter]

boys and that's up to you dude if you

want to get into some Sigma

Alpha Epstein over here and see what

these fellas doing there that's that's

the bomb Army is going to be tough to

control dude but I don't think control

is they want to turn I know but they're

going to get they're going to get loose

dude they're going to every

Victory they're going to rape everybody

dude but turn on each other

right away no they won't change yes they

will dude no they won't I've seen them

support each other I've seen I saw

uh a bum hi like living in a sofa like

in the cushion in the bottom part and I

saw a guy com and Tuck him into bed one

night in the park near my

house you don't see that in America

anymore dude they had some bums by us

and because we live right by a park and

they stole a bunch of high school music

equipment I guess so all night they

would be in the Park I guess

some them stole the Sheep music too

right so that's so nice it's 3:00 a.m.

and you hear some on a flute just play

and it's like um Love the Way You Lie by

like Eminem and

Rihanna and people were like shut the

up that's a that's a jam

sesh marching man dude it's a good night

it's sick but so dude so the

first what do you so okay so you say you

meet up at the comedy Mothership I'm

saying it yeah I think that's a good

location okay that's onep somewhere on

Sixth Street okay that's fair you can

get a battalion there you can't say some

it you have to have a location you can't

you can't have homeless or

semi-homeless people storming a

oh you talking about iceam or something

thought we were just meeting I think it

would be a good test to try to get the

mothership because then you got Rogan in

there okay you got his team of security

yeah you'd have Jo D probably be the

chef you got to test your might

against them what do you mean good first

battle against who the local police I'm

saying send the bums into the mothership

and see who wins it's good test

dude hold on dude we're never gonna work

there

again this is not a good choice dude all

right all right not the mothership yeah

yeah what no I think you can I will lead

I'm trying to think of where where would

you lead your bomb Army you can meet up

out front of it well I think you have to

pick like five or six places in the

Americas to meet up so I think you're

gonna have for sure k&a in Philadelphia

that's the street it is yeah K Anda and

Philly yeah Kensington Kensington and

and what Aly and alany yeah you get them

you get them in there bro crossing the

alagan that goes all the way back to the

1912 dude or whenever sometime around

then crossing the yeah the Del yeah okay

that's this is the Army they're

they're encamped right now oh hell yeah

and it says no one deserves what's

brewing in K Kensington now the tough

part is to keep your army excited you

were going to need um overthe counter

meds

probably or under the counter I don't

know which one it is I think I think

they're getting over okay I think over

the counter LED them there but it's

crazy that the the people who are

because Society has led people to

believe you know be in this space you

know yeah my bad on saying we should

send the BMS bums in to the Mother Ship

no I think look that'd be a tough one to

get in that's what I'm saying there's a

lot of security there oh that's a good

point that's what I'm saying it's a good

first round you know what I mean week

one yeah I support it actually I said we

send it yeah you dispatch a unit see how

they do yeah and then we test see say

that's like the final boss so see how we

can do against some crack security and

guys with guns oh yeah you never yeah

you're never going to be able to beat

Little Debbie or next

tail or any of the Facebook if you can't

take out

uh

a do you feel like we could really end

up in our lifetime as heading to a

revolution or something sort of a um

like a place where the where people

where it all topples over you know cuz

all it takes is really I've thought

about this all it takes is a poli like a

couple of people like at a police like

police stations all it takes a couple

people to be like hey I'm not going to

follow the rules anymore yeah and once

and then other people like I'm not gonna

if this guy and then it's just nobody's

because we're kind of getting there it

feels like you know feel like kind of

people just kind of are like if nobody's

going to follow the rules then why do

everybody body's kind of getting there

it feels like sometimes Maybe I'm

Wrong you know maybe I'm just making

exciting for the conversation I don't

know yeah I don't know how wrong you are

maybe people are out there not following

rules yeah yeah I I don't know if that's

going to start a revolution but but at a

certain point if enough people say okay

I'm not going to drive within the lines

right yeah I'm not going to follow the

speed limit it's almost just like that

like every now and then like that that

has immediate consequences for whoever's

doing it they're going to crash usually

you know

but if enough people were like well

it I'm not waiting because there's a

there's an emergency up there I'm not

going to wait for an hour I'm just going

to go do what I want but it's just that

whole that attitude if I'm just going to

do and then other countries do that yeah

yeah yeah yeah you go in the traffic

jams and there like in India you

know you ever watch that oh they just do

yeah people yeah and they're doing all

right yeah you just wonder what's going

to happen you know yeah

um what else can we talk about we talked

about all I I feel like if we what's

going on with you what's going on with

me man not too much dude what's going

on uh yeah thinking about touring and

just how to do it you know yeah that's

been something I was thinking about

uh yeah I've been thinking about that

I've been thinking about that a lot like

do I want to go Spence like some people

do a big tour you know and I don't like

and they go to the big cities and

but I would almost rather do like aear

tour and go as I want that's kind of

what I'm doing yeah and just make it as

you want to do it yeah it just feels

like more manageable to me and uh yeah

so that I think I've been thinking about

that

um what else I've been thinking about

getting building like a halfway house or

something like that that'd be nice yeah

it'd be pretty cool yeah and then those

people could be in the military those

are our officers dude they are that's

our officer training school

yeah dude definitely so I mean honestly

that's something I've been thinking a

lot about what else on a personal like

on a personal side not much dude

supposed to go to iasa really yeah in a

couple

days in a couple days are you going to

South America where you going noay it's

just right off it's right off it's right

it's like right off the interstate in

La they're doing IAS oh you can smell

but yeah Ian there's a popy like

probably no J 600 yard a away oh that's

got to be so nice well twice a day I

guess they do the biscuit bakes or

whatever smelling that oh oh no

it's not you're not like it's not fun

high I've heard yeah what's have you

done it God is crawling in and out of

your Wingers like it's just a lot it

feels like a lot it feels like you're

just like in therapy for like two

like like what does it feel like you

know like say if somebody was playing

basketball you were playing basketball

in an attic of a house right it would

feel kind of weird maybe because you're

like yeah the floor feels feels like oh

it's so but if this feels like you're

playing like basketball like in the like

in a like on the first level like it's

just like that don't make any sense but

it feels like um I don't know it's just

intense you've done it yeah and it did

you feel like it went well when you got

done yeah it's just crazy yeah I mean

it's like God shows up and you're

sitting there with him you know

but it feels really real it's not like

you're up like hey God you know

let me see that you know I took like a

t mushrooms once and not that

that's the same as IAS but I did reach

the like I'm not here anymore

I'm see I'm just fully seeing things

yeah yeah yeah I didn't I came out of it

I was like I'm I'm gonna be better and

then that wore off I'm back the

exact same guy so that's the thing I

think I wanted to see yeah I just wanted

to wear off it's been like a year and a

half since I did it yeah so I've been

thinking about that

um yeah so what yeah I've been thinking

about that I don't know sometimes I

think about maybe moving or getting a

also living somewhere else I think it's

fun to spend time down here Austin is

cool Aus is fun you can do standup it's

a beautiful city yeah it's a nice city

it's a fun city yeah there's a lot of

neat stuff yeah there's a lot of neat

stuff I think so that's been pretty cool

just thinking about it you know even

coming to seeing like your house it's

like oh okay this is what it would be

like to live here this seems like I

could do this you

know

um what else man I don't

know I don't know I think it's just yeah

thinking about like who would be fun to

talk to on

podcasts stuff like that just the normal

stuff yeah yeah I don't I'm not doing

anything I don't know how to answer that

either it's tough who would be fun to

talk to no I mean just like what what's

going on yeah I don't know just I don't

know anything you can think of Zach that

you notice from an outsider

perspective about you yeah sometimes I'm

just so in my own life you know you

don't know what's going on

um we're trying to get new interesting

guests for the Pod and then yeah we

trying to get a carnival worker yeah

we're trying to get a Carney we thought

about Gypsy Rose what did i' I've heard

a lot about Gypsy what did Gypsy Rose do

uh she convinced she got a boyfriend to

kill her mother like AR ranged it yeah

and it's not funny dude I'm talking to

myself cuz I just laughed but um yeah

she and her boyfriend killed the

mom cuz the mom made her pretend that

she was like mentally challenged and

stuff in a wheelchair and

the mom had Munch house and by proxy so

it was tricking her into thinking she

was sick and had all these ailments I

think I've heard of this from a long

time ago yeah there's like a TV series

about it there's been a lot of

information about it but she's also from

Louisiana so I was like I wonder if it'd

be interesed to talk with her and just

see like what what her like what her

life has been like but I know she did

another podcast and I don't know if it's

you know stuff like that's supposed to

happen then it'll just happen and that's

the mom and she just kept making she

just yeah she made her pretend she was

in a wheelchair and dress up like a

little clown and stuff like

that um it feels like selfdefense at

that point yeah I think that's what they

yeah and her boyfriend I think she like

met a guy somewhere and his name yeah

and they made love somewhere

too he's still in jail this guy's still

in jail yeah that guy should be in jail

he

should should be jail he looks like he's

grow he's growing his beard out just so

he can eat it yeah that's kind that's

the kind of look that he has um so yeah

anyway yeah that's that that's her but

we tried to get a carnival worker and

what problem did we run into the issue

we're running into with Carneys is that

a lot of working baby working on the

weekend like usual yeah a lot of the uh

the carnival industry said that like

they're working dude there's no days off

oh dude but still it's got to be a fun

life keep it praying at night without

all those little fish stay alive so you

can make Bank the next day those fish

must how many fish are those guys going

through those things must be dying so

much and then if they die probably

making a little little bitty like

fillets with them yeah they probably

Munch those oh definitely snacking on

those

yeah but that's uh so we've been

looking for a carnival the problem with

carniv Carnival people is car uh the

Carnival's gone awall man they

don't have any animals anymore first of

all it's a lot of virtual and like

gay guys like pretending to be animals

which you can get in anywhere

you can get that in Miami or Bourbon

Street yeah um and then it's very I

guess more Disney on Ice or something

you can't find any of the good

you know like I remember

there was a guy I was we used to live by

the fair that would come through town

right so if you went the day early for

it open for a quarter you could do a

ride right and you were basically

practice and you were people would

disappear people would go

missing people would get wied up you

know your chicks would get wied

up by a lot of these Carnival workers

and everything but um you could go

practice you know and like I remember

one time I was getting off of a ride and

I guess I grabbed two like rails at the

same time and it completed a

circuit and so I couldn't I was just

like this you know and this black guy I

remember goes get on out of here you and

he called me the N word he put my foot

he put his foot on my back and K thank

God he kicked me he saved you yeah thank

God so yeah you shouldn't you shouldn't

use word getting electrocuted is so

funny oh well it's surprising

and it's it happened to my cousin he was

Ling he was he was fixing a like the VCR

laying on the floor MH and he's a big

guy he's big yeah and he was fixing and

he was laying on a wire I guess that was

exposed yeah and while he was fixing it

he just stopped and was

like and he's huge we were all like the

are you doing get up like no one

was like he's dying everyone was like

what the dude stop yeah that's a

sad that's one of the worst things that

happens when people are get electrocuted

is people like call them a lot

or like quit doing all that gay

people say stuff like that you're like

shaking yeah what are you shaking for

yeah this ain't a time to laugh Rodney

then a woman screams and then you

realize it's

serious I just remember unless you don't

have any women in yeah without women

they are they are an alarm

they're like dogs yeah they scream the

second something anything is happening

they know something's going on Scream

they do know something's going on that's

a great Point men are just like hey what

the going on women screaming

during like a fight yeah it's hot it

hurts I like unate see no I'm just say

unfortunate getting your ass beat and

having your girl scream while it's

happening just whoever's beating you up

is terrorizing your whole family unit

like

it's yeah that's the crazy thing about

watching fight videos is when the girl

like is just yelling on the side no stop

it you'd almost you'd almost rather have

your girl go sit in the car or now what

if your girl tazed the dude and

then started that would be awesome and

started yelling just like biggie lyrics

at him as depends which lyrics but

actually at that point if you're using a

taser in the middle of a fight that's

that feels like a pass yeah you could

say all the lyrics yeah definitely I

think you know yeah yeah I think having

your girl knowing your girl is taser

ready is hype women

screaming it bothers me during

basketball games oh yeah they scream

football games there you know they get

excited and scream so loud oh it's

ridiculous my buddy took me to watch his

son play football right and there's this

band of women behind us okay one of them

has a megaphone that doesn't it

just makes him sound like Stephen

Hawking right so it's just some lady

like are you

it's like a $9 megaphone it's

like are you kidding me and

she's just yelling at just they're all

yelling at the refs dude you know yeah

yelling at refs at kids games is

nice cuz that guy's a loser oh

yeah that gu you know yeah it's so

mean you think that guy wants to have

control in the community though yeah he

like he's like all right I got to ref

this seventh grade football game

today and then there's some parent like

you piece of yeah you

that was a hold you

dumbass yeah that was a ho get your ass

out your ass somebody all yelling follow

you to the parking lot and beat your

ass dude they're guys have to

like run to their cars after Middle

School football games for $112 an hour

the guy to

almost die in his

community just cuz he was to

work on the weekend Sprint dude and wh

dumb outfit you got to take your

hat off yeah this is it right

here leag look how drunk all these dudes

are these dudes are fake

unbelievable dude that is nice though

getting wrecked and going and

coaching A game yeahp A game umping A

game face have you done it no I

haven't I have not you seem like you

would be able to do it I coached uh I

coach little uh Football did you

really yeah was really really little oh

youp War we called it yeah eth

grade we called it League yeah

some people used to call it that and

some people still do call it that I

wonder they still do is there a uh is

there an actual little person Football

League or not it's got to be let's bring

that up they're doing all types of stuff

well you know what's always gets me

every year is that video of the blond

guy playing football that comes up fine

child playing football it's so

funny funny because of it's uh you know

what I mean it's not fun I'm not

laughing at the it's not funny because

the guy's bun it's funny because it just

goes exactly how you think it's going to

go yeah and the reporter pretends this

is what's funny about it is the reporter

is what makes it ridiculous cuz

they're like hey this makes perfect

normal sense and safety for this guy and

then they watch the play and pretend

like it's not

insane little people versus giant

people this is soccer I don't see any

like American Football the

Giants the Giants that's just a regular

fat guy I could be one of the Giants

godamn

it oh little people are way better at

soccer three looks good put his ass down

oh you kick me

little kids are the little

guys are gonna these dudes up

that's a foul that's yellow oh yeah big

sheret big dudes always have

names like sheret look at that

she's pissed

huh it's a good wall though they're

going to block that free Kick the fat

guy wall yeah it's unfair yeah are you

talking about this dud

yes yeah can we uh bring it up the news

just play the news

story because it's just Dylan Coler and

God bless him we should call him

actually let's get him on on a solo

episode Zach him and Chase Matthew is

the guy that uh in the wig what

that guy do the guy that vomited on the

girl on the baby no don't get them

together you mean separate episodes

separate episod talk about I just want

to talk to him I want to see what what

does this guy think about it he's got to

think it's insane play because

he's doing all of this blind you know

how I can't see and a lot of people

think that I that a blind person can't

play football that's true this

courageous youngster has proven those

people wrong

[Music]

bro imagine though this is wild though

if he is blind then he could play a

total different defense you can't even

expect because you expect a normal

defense out you know you expect certain

lanes and this like that that

guy might leave the field yeah I know

where he's going that game is

longer but if he hits you oh that game's

longer than 100 yards he is going to

there is something that is true about

this is if he does hit you he is going

to run right through you which is how

you're supposed to like if you want to

drill someone good point run

right through them that's a great you're

going to hit him really hard you

couldn't penalize him for uh some of

those like poaching or whatever they get

those penalties you know yeah um yeah I

would love to see what this guy's up to

and how what it was like for him dude

How brave to run when you're blind like

you know just run as fast as you can

when you're blind yeah

that's Brave dude that's a kind of

kind of we need in this country

meanwhile we have a bunch of

math

addicts arming themselves outside of a

T-Mobile because we told him to

dude you told him I didn't you told

him you say that you're on the horse I'm

never GNA get on a horse dud yeah you

are buddy we'll get horse yeah any other

news act you think we covered everything

Shane lives in Austin now yeah um we one

other video we were watching like

this oh yeah and this is racial stuff

that's go this is let's let's let's

start it up hold on right

so this

is so one of the problems that's

happening in society is people can't

afford Ubers anymore and so here this is

this happened I think in um this looks

like New Hampshire it jumps on my

car just hit a ride dude it's right in

front of my

car get off oh no what are you doing

there's a white guy hanging he's on the

front of a black gu's car while the

black guy's driving around looks like

Pittsburgh he's still on my car

get the off my car oh don't go

sideways bro

oh dude it's unbelievable the guy didn't

just stop and say hey senior citizen who

is 60 years older than me who maybe

having an episode is so funny hey hey

buddy why did you get off my car

instead the guy's listening to

Nicki Minaj or young Dolph and he's just

like hey this is crazy the Trump hat so

good on that Jesus Christ hat so nice

this guy's on my car like he's a

like it's a butterfly or

something that is how I treat bugs on my

car I'm like I'll slow down see if he

gets off dude you guys have got a

bug on a car it's a this

guy is 72 years

old okay is holding on to the front of

this guy's

car and we don't know

why this is that Biden man that

people are talking

about and this is people on meds this is

people not having any hope

probably I mean you run out of hope

you're going to have to get on someone's

car that's what I'm saying that's step

two you look around you go there's no

hope well yeah and ubber at a a certain

point it's just all it's just going to

be a bunch of Lords in their castles

yeah the rest of us will be all ubering

each

other it'll be the only job but

everybody's ubering so nobody is a

passenger nobody's breaking we're all

just breaking even on this totally so

you're literally going to have people

holding each other at

gunpoint to be their

passenger oh man dude imagine if that

was your relative that you just saw that

video you're like man he had a

manic episode he jumped on a dude's

car went for a spin just went around the

block God wants us to watch it one more

time yeah it's great I love seeing his

faceu on my

I wish I had a view of his

feet oh get

[Laughter]

off he said get off but he didn't get

him time he was getting off dude I just

saying get off my car at 20 miles an

hour he goes for the exit it's a t

Exit yeah he tried to take the Orthodox

off to the side but they wouldn't

let him dude man seeing that guy

roll in the street hey let's find out

who that is and let's also get him on

the next solo those three guys I want to

know dillian Collier the guy Jordan

Matthews Chase Matthews I think was his

name puke man yeah the guy that puked on

the baby girl and you know that guy was

hoping nobody brought that

up oh oh man he was 21 shitfaced at a

baseball game ah he's never Liv in that

town puked on a little kid yeah

wonder what the kids doing now too it'

be crazy to see if that influenced him

somehow you know if he works with

bulimia or

something or you know to prevent anybody

from V esophagal cancer maybe yeah um

what else we got Zach anything else how

long have we been in here a while about

two hours oh wow really oh okay

that's good um Madden Shane's secret

podcast with Matt mcoser Shane Gillis um

Matt's got to come on next time with you

man had so much fun on you guys' show

you would you do it without me just Matt

you guys would get along very well okay

yeah all right got similar Vibes well I

just want to make sure we have our

meeting of the generals that are going

to be working for us H mosar will be

good Silver Fox Moser is a very general

name yes very

oh when Ker's Last Stand he's going to

get the bombs are going to turn on him

and stab but still dude

mccusker's last stand and he

we'll never forget when he

commandeered those three T-Mobile

outlets in the middle of the

night yeah little Best Buy

yeah little Best

Buy yeah he uh this has been tried

before though yeah not necessarily uh

bumps but just saying like they down and

they're going to rise up if I let uh J

uh John Brown did that did he really

yeah that's how he sparked the Civil War

in

America he was like I'm going to start a

he thought rightfully so that slavery

was uh he was very religious and he was

like this is the gravest

sin on Harper F he was like if I go take

the Armory at Harper's Ferry all the

slaves from all the area are going to

join us wow and not many of them did

really almost none so they let they let

him down or they were afraid I don't

know he was a little nuts so they were

probably like that's not the guy to do

it and he's a white guy or black guy he

was a honky but his last name was brown

yes so they give him some of that credit

he gets a lot he gets a lot of credit in

the black community though that's a

great yeah I mean he he was the

man he started so he really inspired so

he actually made a physical motion to

say hey let's do this we got to get rid

of slavery right wow and they hung him

you got marry the elephant

treatment

oh that's heartbreaking where's he

where's he buried

at he's from Kansas or some sh yeah wow

so he really was trying his best out in

Kansas he might and who who hung him the

whites yeah the honkies got him God he's

buried in the uh mountains in New York

how do you pronounce this I don't know

how to pronounce that

word yeah there we go everyone had it he

uh yeah he he was a beast he was getting

after it though before he did that he

was he was killing all the southern

sympathizers slave owners sympathizers

yeah in Kansas he was him and his sons

were maching people oh yeah wow pretty

good guy though be interesting if we

could do a Ouija board or something and

talk with some of those guys you know

yeah be pretty cool but I don't know who

does that kind of work seaner or

whatever that would be a good episode

with a s get a medium in here

get like somebody that's like I'm going

to contact the dead you think so I think

that'd be a great episode you got to

pick out some cool dead they can't be

like oh this is some got RI hey we got a

we just got a call from Richard in uh

outside of Toledo people calling into a

radio

show hi M on the air

you're not allowed to swear here

that' be hilarious dude you just had a

open Seance line like hey this is a

Robert long time listener dude I've been

listening to you guys for eternity

shit's all

right um welcome to town man are are you

are you toring this year what else is

going on just so people know I'm toring

okay yeah I'm I I don't know when this

comes out but I'm goingon to announce uh

I'm doing

Netflix is a joke I'm doing the Greek

Theater and the Kia Forum in May you're

Forum too doing the Forum in La so is

that 11,000 seats hopefully that sells

some tickets oh my gosh I think Louis

said that's his favorite place to go do

a show really yeah I think I would like

to maybe try that this year that's so

exciting dude wow so that be exciting

I'll be nervous that' be your biggest

show ever that'll be the biggest yeah

that's exciting have you done any

outdoor Festival shows I did a bunch

with crusher oh yeah yeah they were fun

some of those looked amazing like some

of those some of those were really

amazing do you like doing the outdoor

when we did one in Edmonton it was tough

um it was fun it's just different yeah I

don't know I've only ever done it

opening for Bert so I don't know how how

it'll do like a long set might be hard I

have no idea did you feel like it was

fine like it just I was doing like 15 20

minutes so I was like all right let's

just clock in get this done this is

great sometimes it was good sometimes I

felt like I sucked cuz you can't tell

because it was like a minor league

baseball field mhm you know the laughs

yeah and it was the sun was up a lot of

the time oh so you could see everyone

not you know you can see everyone

getting up getting drinks yeah yeah yeah

some places you do it and some people

don't even know I remember rate uh a

comedy special in New Orleans and people

had never some people had never seen

Live Comedy didn't even know people were

yelling people thought it was like a

sporting event people were yelling

defense during it some lady was at the

top just beating on the back wall just

going

defense defense getting fired up it was

just crazy like what is going on

here yeah you get yeah big crowd like

that they can start getting wild yeah um

what's been one of the toughest things

about getting more popular you've just

had such a crazy I mean you've you did

it somehow you made it I mean I know how

but it's just like are you you've just

gotten you've got popular yeah yeah a

lot of it's uh on Tik Tok and I

don't I don't even have a Tik Tok I

don't like Clips yeah yeah I don't

personally I don't like them I don't

care if other people do them but it's

funny cuz like young people will see me

and be like you're the Tik Tok guy yeah

like damn I gotta get on Tik Tok I gotta

see what's going on that was a big thing

was just

Clips uh what the hardest part about it

is that what you're saying yeah is there

something that's been interesting about

it I mean it's just an interesting thing

that happens in somebody's life when

they get more po you know it's like just

interesting yeah you've done it it's

just weird I don't know how to yeah

maybe just weird feel weird yeah I was

just curious feel surreal I don't know

there's nothing there something you

thought about it or noticed about it or

anything that was tough about it or

anything I I got to take pictures a lot

yeah which that's not always great and

you're tall You Can't Hide yeah and I'm

yeah I don't like the way I look a lot

of the time so have to take and I have

like a sometimes a very embarrassing

smile just yeah there so many pictures

with my arms up like there's so many

pictures there's so many pictures of me

like well how nice to meet you guys

thanks don't look him

up bring him up oh there's one

with you and Trump dude that's sick we

talked about that last time were there

yeah we talked about that last time oh

yeah you I don't think I was sitting I

was sitting further away from you guys

though yeah you were you you went to

like the first one Trump ever came to I

think that was fun yeah that was fun you

might be yeah you were directly behind

that I know exactly where you were

that's actually Max Crosby's arm is it

really guy with the chain right there

yeah

wow Max Crosby's a cool guy yeah I think

that was him um and his brother too I

don't know what his brother what's his

brother's name miles miles I met miles

too one time wonder if it's cool if your

brothers in the NFL I bet that's awesome

It's gotta be awesome because you don't

have to do it yeah yeah you get to do

mom's brother just do

Tik toks everyone's like shut the

up yeah you just get to do Tik toks and

meet guys bother everybody yeah

yeah yeah you just get to do Tik toks

and just buy sweaters and and your

brother's out there killing it

that's got to be nice that's awesome

yeah watch like if your brother was

Patrick Mahomes it's cool to watch oh it

would be so sick just watch your brother

be the best player in the world dude

you'd have to be like how the

especially if you knew your brother and

you're like are you kid remember

I caught you jacking off like a hundred

times now you're in the super bow

passing yeah and then I left you

alone for two seconds and came back in

the room okay what are you

doing like a good parent should dude all

right man we'll see you guys in either

Buffalo or an Austin outside of the

comedy mother if hits the fan

because you have to recognize at some

point people will think in their head

I've thought about this where do we all

go when when it gets because all it

takes is that one that one night

you know yeah I'm going to try to get a

hold of

Rogan that's the guy right I agree and I

spoke with him about this when and he I

think decided he will be offshore in a

boat looking back at America I think so

and that's what a lot of people be doing

be vigilant the second pops off I

got to get over there because a lot of

people are going to rush it's going to

be like Noah's Arc oh yeah people are

going to be like save us yeah there's

going to be two of like every type of

person Ty comic yeah me and Tim Dylan

walking hand in hand all right two fat

whites you guys are

in me and Tig

nataro ambiguous guys you guys are in

yeah

yeah oh that'd be sick dude two people

with like uh those little things yeah

Jeff donam and

uh doesn't uh dude imagine being the

other guy that's not Jeff Dunham people

are always like hey are you Jeff

Dunham's like no no I was doing this

before him that

[Laughter]

um Shane Gillis man

congrats dude congrats on just being

funny and for um and I'm sorry you

didn't win the Golden Globe you should

have I thought oh thanks I uh yeah

thought you least should have been up

for it thanks I appreciate that um and

um yeah you guys can find him on tour

dude the Forum you're doing the

Forum and the Greek yeah in the same

week hopefully I sell some

tickets I'm not my it's my uh my agent

your agent oh yeah yeah yeah we did the

Greek they're like let's dude you can do

the Forum yeah they're like it's G to

sell I like oh man you sure it's going

to sell I'll do same week as the Greek

yeah that's I've never done La

though so that's good that helps yeah

that's awesome well you'll definitely do

it man there's some air

conditioning yeah now that the podcast

is wrapping up bring it back down to

75 um thanks Shane for coming in man I

appreciate it man thank you yeah talk to

you later brother I'm just floating on

the breeze and I feel I'm falling like

these leaves I must be

Cornerstone oh but when I reach that

ground I'll share this PE of my found I

can feel it in my

bones but it's going to

take