Couples Therapist | 10 Tips For Good Communication!

Summary

Licensed marriage and family therapist Stephanie Sanyabuila offers practical tips for effective communication in relationships. She emphasizes active listening, setting clear conversation intentions, creating conducive environments, speaking slowly and clearly, and using appropriate language. Stephanie advises on maintaining good body language, staying on topic, and avoiding blame-shifting. She also highlights the importance of managing stress and choosing the right environment for crucial discussions.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Effective communication is not about winning an argument but understanding each other's perspectives.
• 👂 Active or reflective listening is a slow but effective way to ensure both parties are on the same page.
• 💡 Setting clear intentions at the start of a conversation helps keep the discussion focused and productive.
• 🌿 Creating a conducive environment for conversation can lead to a more relaxed and open dialogue.
• 🔊 Speaking slowly and clearly allows for better understanding and prevents miscommunication.
• 📚 Using language that is familiar to your audience helps in conveying your message effectively.
• 🤔 Avoiding intellectualizing and using simple, clear language can prevent arguments and promote understanding.
• 👀 Paying attention to body language is crucial as it can communicate agreement, respect, or disagreement.
• 💬 Speaking from 'I' position and focusing on personal feelings can prevent assumptions and misunderstandings.
• 🔄 Staying on topic ensures that the conversation remains relevant and productive.
• 🚫 Avoiding blame-shifting and gaslighting helps in maintaining a healthy and respectful conversation.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Stephanie's video?

The main topic of Stephanie's video is effective communication, specifically targeting couples and families.

What is the goal of good communication according to Stephanie?

The goal of good communication, according to Stephanie, is to walk away with a better understanding of the opposing person's point of view and for them to understand yours.

What is active listening or reflective listening as mentioned in the video?

Active listening or reflective listening is a slow method of communication where one person shares their viewpoint, the other person repeats it back to confirm understanding, and then they respond.

Why might couples resist the idea of active listening?

Couples might resist active listening because it is slower than their accustomed communication style and requires patience and effort to ensure understanding.

What is the importance of setting the intention at the beginning of a conversation?

Setting the intention at the beginning of a conversation helps to clarify the purpose and focus of the discussion, making it more productive.

How can creating an ideal scenario help with communication?

Creating an ideal scenario, such as a getaway or a relaxed environment, can help reduce stress and make the conversation more comfortable and conducive to open dialogue.

What does Stephanie suggest to ensure that your message is understood?

Stephanie suggests speaking slowly, being concise, using proper words that the listener is familiar with, and avoiding intellectualizing to ensure your message is understood.

Why is body language important during communication?

Body language is important because it communicates non-verbal cues such as agreement, respect, or disinterest, which can significantly impact the effectiveness of a conversation.

What does Stephanie recommend when speaking from your own perspective?

Stephanie recommends using 'I' statements such as 'I feel... when you...' to express your feelings about a specific behavior without assuming how the other person feels.

How can staying on topic help in a conversation?

Staying on topic helps to maintain focus and ensures that the conversation is productive, preventing it from becoming confusing or unproductive.

What are some barriers to good communication that Stephanie mentions?

Some barriers to good communication mentioned by Stephanie include loud noise and stress, which can hinder effective dialogue and understanding.