I moved back to Silicon Valley but can NOT live in my car anymore \\ Hannah's Diaries 11

Summary

After returning from a month-long European adventure, the speaker faces disappointment when a trusted friend damages their electric car, leaving it with strange gas smells and mechanical issues. Struggling with sleep and self-doubt, they reflect on their life, friendships, and loneliness, contemplating big life changes, including a potential move. Despite setbacks, they find solace in familiar faces and new connections. With a business trip to Seattle looming, the speaker hopes the time away will help them make decisions about their car and their future, while still adjusting to life in a new city.

Takeaways

• 😞 Feeling betrayed by a long-time friend who broke into the speaker's car.
• 🚗 The speaker's electric car smells like gas and is making strange noises, causing concern about its condition.
• 🏨 After returning to LA, the speaker stayed in a hotel because the car became unlivable.
• 🏡 The speaker is actively touring apartments, almost finding the perfect one, but it lacks a balcony.
• 😔 Reflecting on personal life and feeling dissatisfied despite having a decent job and independence.
• 🤔 Pondering deep questions about life, personal identity, and the desire for meaningful relationships.
• 🌕 Emotional sensitivity heightened due to the full moon, leading to thoughts about loneliness and companionship.
• 😊 Enjoyed socializing with new people, gaining positive energy despite sometimes feeling like a third wheel.
• 🔧 Scheduled a repair at Tesla, which fixed some issues with the car but left unresolved problems.
• ✈️ Upcoming business trip to Seattle, where the speaker hopes to reflect on life decisions and the future of the car.

Q & A

What is the main cause of the narrator's disappointment upon returning to LA?

The narrator's car was broken into by an old friend, which led to feelings of betrayal and disappointment in someone they had trusted for 10 years.

Why does the narrator feel hurt about the friend who broke into their car?

The narrator trusted the friend for 10 years and considered them close, only to realize that the friend may never have been truly loyal, causing the narrator to feel hurt and betrayed.

What is the current condition of the narrator’s car?

The car smells like gas, is making unusual noises, and feels like it is falling apart. Despite being electric, the gas smell is strong, making the car almost unlivable.

How does the narrator feel about their decision not to rent a place earlier?

The narrator regrets not renting a place earlier, thinking that doing so might have prevented their current difficulties, including the car incident.

What are the narrator’s thoughts about their current living situation?

The narrator is touring apartments and almost found the perfect one, but it lacked a balcony. They also find comfort in visiting the campus and seeing familiar faces despite not having sorted out their living situation.

What is the narrator reflecting on during their late-night thoughts?

The narrator is thinking about their life, the type of person they want to be, and the kind of life they desire. They are not fully satisfied with their current life despite having a decent job and independence.

How does the narrator feel about their relationships and friendships?

The narrator sometimes feels lonely, especially during challenging moments, and yearns for someone who understands and supports them completely. They also express frustration with finding genuine connections, as they feel they have high expectations.

What significance does the full moon have in the narrator’s emotions?

The narrator believes the full moon may have made them more emotional, contributing to their overthinking about life, friendships, and their future.

How does the narrator feel about meeting new people through their coworker?

The narrator feels refreshed by meeting new people, despite initially feeling like a third wheel among their coworker’s close friends. The experience brought positive energy.

What are the narrator’s feelings towards their car after having it for 4 years?

The narrator is attached to their car, having traveled all over the West Coast with it and even lived in it for the past six months. However, they now worry about its reliability and feel uncertain about what to do with it.