go outside. you're losing touch with reality

zenkenzie
25 Jul 202405:38

Summary

TLDRThe speaker reflects on their life spent mostly online, warning of the dangers of living too much in one's head and not having a fulfilling life. They emphasize the importance of detaching from social media and engaging with the real world to foster personal growth and avoid becoming isolated. The message encourages viewers to find balance, pursue hobbies, and develop social connections to avoid the extremes of self-isolation or aimless distraction.

Takeaways

  • 🏡 Living too much in your head can lead to a distorted view of reality and create a 'needy' vibe.
  • 🌐 Spending excessive time online can result in a warped perception of the world and reinforce existing biases.
  • 🧳 Detaching from over-reliance on a few social connections is crucial for a healthy social life.
  • 🌱 Engaging with the real world and having diverse experiences can accelerate personal growth.
  • 🚫 Avoiding self-isolation and stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for overcoming past traumas.
  • 🌟 The highest highs in life are often balanced with the lowest lows, so seek a balanced lifestyle.
  • 🤔 Overthinking and rumination can be harmful; it's important to let go and move on.
  • 🌈 Diversifying your focus and not relying on one person or thing for happiness can lead to a more fulfilling life.
  • 🌟 Self-improvement is not just about being alone; it requires interaction with others to reflect your growth.
  • 🌍 Social anxiety is common, but it shouldn't stop you from engaging with the world and finding your tribe.

Q & A

  • What is the main message of the video script?

    -The main message is that people who don't have a fulfilling life or engage in social interactions can become isolated and develop a distorted view of reality, which can be detrimental to their mental health and personal growth.

  • Why does the speaker say people without a life can be scary?

    -The speaker believes they can be scary because they may be overly focused on their own thoughts and fantasies, leading to a 'needy desperate vibe' and potentially unhealthy expectations from others.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'putting all your eggs in one basket'?

    -It refers to relying too heavily on one person or thing for social interaction and emotional support, which can create an unhealthy dynamic and pressure on that person.

  • Why does the speaker emphasize the need to 'get a life'?

    -The speaker suggests that having a life outside of one's head and engaging with the world is crucial for personal growth, mental health, and maintaining a balanced perspective on reality.

  • What is the concept of 'third places' mentioned in the script?

    -'Third places' refer to public spaces outside of home and work where social interactions occur. The speaker warns about the disappearance of such places, which can lead to isolation.

  • How does the speaker describe the impact of excessive social media use?

    -The speaker describes it as brainwashing, where people are exposed to content that confirms their existing beliefs, leading to a warped and distorted version of reality.

  • What does the speaker suggest is a key part of self-improvement?

    -The speaker suggests that reality and interaction with others are key parts of self-improvement, as they help to mirror back one's true self and accelerate personal growth.

  • Why does the speaker say it's important to diversify your focus?

    -Diversifying focus allows for happiness and vibrancy without relying on a single source, leading to better results and a more balanced life.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'mental masturbation'?

    -It refers to the speaker's past habit of obsessing over fantasies and stories in their head, which provided temporary relief but did not contribute to personal growth.

  • What advice does the speaker give to overcome past traumas and fear of social interaction?

    -The speaker advises creating space and distance from past experiences by engaging in life experiences and social interactions, which can lead to character development and healing.

  • How does the speaker view the balance between self-isolation and seeking distractions?

    -The speaker views both extremes as detrimental to personal development, advocating for a balance between self-awareness and engaging with the world.

Outlines

00:00

😨 The Dangers of Living Solely in Your Head

This paragraph discusses the perils of spending excessive time in one's own thoughts and fantasies, particularly when it leads to social isolation and an unhealthy dependence on others for social interaction. The speaker shares their personal experience of living much of their life online and ruminating on imagined scenarios, which they now recognize as 'scary'. They emphasize the importance of having a life outside of one's head, engaging with the real world, and not placing too much emotional burden on a few friends. The speaker warns against the tendency to obsess over social media and the potential for it to warp one's perception of reality. They also touch on the need for self-awareness and the importance of detaching from emotional dependencies to foster personal growth.

05:01

🌟 Balancing Self-Improvement with Real-Life Experiences

The second paragraph serves as a call to action for personal development that is grounded in reality and interaction with others. The speaker acknowledges that while self-improvement is important, it should not be pursued in isolation. They argue that a balance is necessary, as both extremes—never leaving the house or constantly seeking distractions—can hinder personal growth. The speaker shares their own past struggles with social anxiety and the realization that healing comes from creating space and distance from past experiences, which is achieved through life experiences and interactions. They encourage viewers to not be afraid of their journey, to be self-aware, and to engage with the world to find universal truths and realities that are often lost in self-isolation.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Obsession

Obsession refers to an excessive preoccupation with something to the point where it interferes with daily life. In the video, the speaker discusses how they were obsessed with creating fantasies in their head and ruminating over them, which led to a lack of real-life experiences and interactions. This obsession with internal thoughts is portrayed as unhealthy and isolating, as it prevents the individual from engaging with the outside world and developing a balanced life.

💡Desperate Vibe

A 'desperate vibe' is an aura or impression given off by someone that suggests they are in a state of urgent need or longing. The speaker mentions that people who don't have a life can give off a 'needy desperate vibe', which can be off-putting to others. This is used to illustrate how an over-reliance on others for social interaction can be detrimental, as it places too much pressure on a few individuals and can lead to feelings of resentment or avoidance.

💡Options

Options, in this context, refer to having a variety of choices or alternatives in one's life, particularly in terms of social interactions and activities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of having options to avoid becoming overly dependent on one or two people for social needs. This concept is tied to the idea of creating a well-rounded life that includes multiple sources of social interaction and personal fulfillment.

💡Detach

To detach means to become emotionally or mentally separate from something. The video encourages viewers to 'detach' from the need for constant social interaction or validation, suggesting that this can lead to a happier and more balanced life. Detachment is presented as a way to reduce the pressure on individual relationships and to prevent the emotional turmoil that can come from placing too much importance on one person or event.

💡Self-Isolation

Self-isolation refers to the act of deliberately separating oneself from social contact. The speaker discusses self-isolation as a response to past negative experiences and fear of repeating them. This behavior is critiqued as it leads to a lack of personal growth and character development, as well as a distorted perception of reality that can result from not engaging with the outside world.

💡Life Experiences

Life experiences are the events and interactions one has throughout their life. The video stresses the importance of seeking out life experiences as a means of personal growth and healing. It contrasts this with the stagnation that can come from excessive self-reflection or living too much in one's head, suggesting that real-world interactions are necessary for a well-rounded understanding of oneself and the world.

💡Character Development

Character development refers to the process by which a person's character is built and improved through experiences and learning. The speaker argues that engaging in life experiences and interacting with others is crucial for character development, as it provides opportunities to learn, grow, and change. This concept is central to the video's message that one must actively participate in life to evolve and improve as a person.

💡Internal Biases

Internal biases are the personal prejudices or inclinations that shape an individual's perception and decision-making. The video discusses how living too much in one's head can lead to an over-reliance on internal biases, which can distort reality and prevent a person from seeing things objectively. The speaker encourages stepping outside of these biases through real-world experiences and interactions.

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is the nervousness or fear experienced in social situations. The script mentions that everyone feels social anxiety to some degree, but it should not be an excuse for self-isolation or avoidance of personal growth. The speaker uses this term to normalize the feeling and to encourage viewers to face their fears and engage in social interactions despite their anxiety.

💡Self-Improvement Journey

The self-improvement journey refers to the ongoing process of bettering oneself through personal development and growth. The video suggests that while self-reflection is important, it should be balanced with real-world experiences. The speaker shares their realization that reality and interactions with others are necessary to validate personal growth and to continue progressing on the self-improvement journey.

💡Universal Reality

Universal reality refers to the shared experiences and truths that are common to all people. The speaker talks about the importance of recognizing the universal reality that exists beyond individual biases and experiences. Engaging with others and gaining diverse perspectives can help one align with this universal reality, which is seen as a key component of personal development and a balanced worldview.

Highlights

The importance of having a life outside of the internet and fantasy.

People who don't have a life can be scary because they give off a needy, desperate vibe.

Lack of social interaction can lead to an unhealthy dependence on a few friends for social needs.

The need to detach and go out into the world to live as a human being.

The danger of self-sabotage due to an over-reliance on others for social interaction.

The concept of needing options in life to avoid putting too much pressure on one person.

The impact of not having a life on one's mental state and the potential to lose touch with reality.

The role of third places in social interactions and how their disappearance affects society.

The realization that living too much in one's head can lead to a distorted version of reality.

The influence of social media on reinforcing pre-existing beliefs and emotions.

The importance of self-reflection to avoid mindlessly regurgitating internet information.

The struggle with obsession and rumination and the difficulty of letting go.

The self-improvement journey requires reality and other people to mirror who you are.

The happiness and vibrancy that comes from being detached and not needing one thing or person.

The joy and pleasure found in simple things as opposed to constantly seeking the highest highs.

The fear of repeating past negative experiences can lead to self-isolation.

Healing comes from creating space and distance from past experiences, not from focusing on the hurt.

The importance of life experiences and character development through social interaction.

The message that everyone has social anxiety and it's okay to be yourself around others.

The balance between self-isolation and constantly seeking distractions for personal development.

The call to action to stop being held hostage by fear or social anxiety and to engage in life.

The video's message is based on personal experience and a desire to help others avoid past mistakes.

Transcripts

play00:00

you need to get alive all right tough

play00:02

love here you need to get alive I spent

play00:03

my childhood on the internet and the

play00:05

majority of my teens and young adult

play00:07

years so far ruminating obsessing living

play00:10

in a fantasy of my own design and like

play00:12

dating people in my head stuff like that

play00:14

you know and I can safely say that

play00:15

people who don't have a life are scary

play00:17

as the problem is you don't have

play00:20

enough going on other people can tell

play00:22

you haven't left your house in weeks

play00:24

they can tell that you live in your head

play00:25

24/7 because you're giving off this

play00:27

needy desperate Vibe you're putting all

play00:29

of your eggs in one basket making it

play00:31

seem like it's one or two friends

play00:33

responsibility to text you back and

play00:35

provide you with that social interaction

play00:36

that you crave and like you're

play00:38

sabotaging your relationships because

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that's too much pressure to put on one

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person then you're taking it personally

play00:42

and you're getting in your feelings when

play00:44

they can't be there for you and so you

play00:46

need options it's like it's so simple

play00:48

you need options you need to detach you

play00:49

need to go out into the world and like

play00:51

live like the human being that you are

play00:53

stop being afraid to like live your life

play00:55

you will do so much to protect yourself

play00:57

that you end up being the one to destroy

play00:58

yourself it's actually scary how many

play01:00

people go to work and just go straight

play01:01

home and don't actually have like a life

play01:04

no Hobbies no social interactions we

play01:06

know about The Disappearance of third

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places so like I'm saying this from

play01:09

someone who has lived this reality for

play01:11

the majority of my life so far watch out

play01:13

for people that don't have a life watch

play01:15

out for people that don't have anything

play01:17

going on because those are some scary

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okay they're in their head

play01:20

all the time they're coming up with all

play01:22

types of stories about what you're doing

play01:25

and what it means and assigning all

play01:27

types of meaning to what you're doing

play01:29

based on like their own baggage and

play01:32

those people are scary as they have

play01:33

lost touch with reality they need to

play01:35

touch grass they have forgotten that the

play01:37

whole world does not conform to their

play01:40

biases their ideas and their feelings

play01:42

and you can literally tell when someone

play01:43

spends too much time on social media

play01:45

because like people are getting

play01:47

brainwashed seeing all this content

play01:48

every single day from different sources

play01:50

that confirm what they already think and

play01:52

feel those heightened emotions like

play01:54

you're you're told as a content creator

play01:55

to use emotions to stimulate engagement

play01:58

so those emotions and the repetition is

play02:00

impressing on people's subconscious

play02:01

minds and before you know it you've

play02:03

bought into a warped and distorted

play02:05

version of reality this has happened to

play02:06

me multiple times I periodically have to

play02:08

check myself to make sure I'm not just

play02:10

mindlessly regurgitating information

play02:12

that I saw on the internet I struggled

play02:14

with Obsession and rumination for a long

play02:15

time I did not know how to let go of

play02:18

stuff and just move on I didn't even

play02:19

know what moving on really entailed I

play02:21

did not have a life I did not have

play02:23

anything going on I got so high off of

play02:25

these stories and like even the sad

play02:27

stories for the longest time my goal was

play02:29

just to get off was just to like get

play02:32

myself off through these various forms

play02:33

of mental masturbation so what I figured

play02:35

out and so here's like the positive note

play02:38

so what I figured out is that there

play02:39

comes a certain point in the

play02:40

self-improvement journey where you

play02:43

actually need reality and other people

play02:45

to mirror who you are being back to you

play02:49

this helps you level up so much faster

play02:52

you're spending so much time by yourself

play02:53

that is actually hindering your growth

play02:55

you need to diversify your focus you are

play02:57

so much more happy vibrant and attract

play02:59

attractive you're getting so much better

play03:01

results when you're detached when you

play03:03

genuinely don't need one thing or one

play03:06

person to be happy when you have let go

play03:08

and you can just freely exist openly and

play03:11

experience life without these internal

play03:13

biases and blocks and like your

play03:15

underlying agenda start seeing the joy

play03:17

and pleasure in simple things as opposed

play03:20

to constantly wanting the highest of

play03:23

highs because the highest of Highs are

play03:25

going to be matched with the lowest of

play03:26

lows a lot of times we self-isolate or

play03:29

at least me personally I self-isolated

play03:31

because of stuff that happened in the

play03:33

past previous attempts to make

play03:34

connections that didn't go the way I

play03:35

wanted them to and I was afraid of

play03:37

repeating them either being reminded by

play03:39

it again or of something new and equally

play03:42

as traumatizing happening and some of us

play03:45

started doing it during the lockdown

play03:46

some of us have been doing this stuff

play03:48

since childhood like it was not safe to

play03:50

go outside but let me tell you something

play03:52

so the healing does not happen when

play03:54

you're focused on the hurt it's not time

play03:55

that heals your wound it's the space

play03:57

that you create and the distance that

play03:59

you travel away from the initial

play04:00

experience and that comes from Life

play04:02

Experiences it comes from interacting

play04:04

with others it comes from leaving the

play04:06

house and actually engaging in

play04:08

situations that are going to give you

play04:09

character development stop being afraid

play04:11

of your own Journey It's a combination

play04:13

of being self-aware and in your own

play04:15

energy but then also going out into the

play04:17

world and seeing those stories those

play04:20

messages those identifications reflected

play04:22

back to you so that helps you realize

play04:24

what you really need to work on and so

play04:26

doing a lot of things and talking to a

play04:27

lot of people can help you hear it can

play04:30

help you find that universal truth the

play04:32

universal reality that all of us share

play04:34

and can be lost from self-isolation so

play04:37

stop being held hostage in your house or

play04:39

your apartment because of fear because

play04:41

of social anxiety because the reality is

play04:43

everybody these days is feeling that way

play04:45

everybody has social anxiety everybody's

play04:47

an overthinker everybody is mentally ill

play04:49

everybody is whatever so you might as

play04:51

well go be yourself around other people

play04:53

because I guarantee you're going to find

play04:54

someone who's just like you this message

play04:56

is not necessar for people who are just

play04:58

running around in these three out here

play05:00

looking for distractions like because

play05:02

that is just as detrimental to your

play05:05

personal development as never leaving

play05:07

the house they're both extreme sides of

play05:10

the spectrum and they result in the same

play05:11

thing which is you're not actually

play05:13

getting the growth and character

play05:15

development that you need to manifest

play05:16

the change that you want to make in your

play05:18

life so everything I'm saying in this

play05:19

video is from personal experience I know

play05:21

this was kind of a harsh one I'm not

play05:22

yelling at you I'm yelling at my past

play05:24

self who did not realize this sooner

play05:26

because this is a serious serious issue

play05:28

like I was being weird I was

play05:30

weird I was putting out this weird ass

play05:32

desperate ass energy and I just don't

play05:33

want you guys to go through the same

play05:35

thing so thank you so much for watching

play05:36

and I'll see you in the next one

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Social AnxietySelf-ImprovementMental HealthInternet CultureEmotional GrowthHuman ConnectionLife BalanceOnline ObsessionSelf-AwarenessReality Check
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