How to break bad habits - talk with @ThePrimeagen Senior Software Engineer at Netflix​

Summary

In this personal and inspiring discussion, the speaker shares his journey through overcoming addiction, ADHD, and life challenges. He talks about the power of discipline, faith, and self-awareness, emphasizing the importance of making the right decisions moment by moment. The speaker recounts his transformation from struggling academically and battling substance abuse to finding success in both his career and personal life. He highlights how learning to control ADHD turned it into a superpower and discusses his career path, including landing a job at Netflix through hard work and luck.

Takeaways

• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker is a husband and father of four who balances family life, a day job in engineering, and streaming on Twitch.
• 💻 He uses his back brain to solve 80% of problems at work, streamlining his tasks to manage his time efficiently.
• 🚀 He has been diagnosed with ADHD, which he views as a superpower when combined with maturity, but acknowledges it can be a nightmare with excuses.
• 📚 His academic performance improved significantly from high school to college, where he became a high performer.
• 🛑 He overcame addictions and a troubled past, including an addiction to pornography and drugs, through a spiritual awakening and determination.
• 💪 He emphasizes the importance of controlling one's reactions based on what is right, rather than how one feels.
• 🏆 His success at Netflix was partly due to luck and partly due to his skills in rxjs, which he showcased on LinkedIn.
• 🗓️ He does not use any form of task management tools or agendas, believing that important tasks will naturally be remembered.
• 👨‍💻 He suggests that learning JavaScript for UI is an easy path to getting hired in the programming field due to high demand.
• 🌐 English is crucial for programmers, especially for those looking to work in the American business context.
• 🔑 He believes that discipline and self-control are key to overcoming challenges and achieving personal and professional success.

Q & A

What is the speaker's primary online activity on Twitch?

The speaker primarily streams programming content on Twitch, and occasionally streams gaming.

How does the speaker manage his time with multiple responsibilities?

The speaker manages his time by doing things swiftly and letting his 'back brain' solve 80% of the problems at his day job, so he knows exactly what to do and can do it as fast as possible.

Has the speaker been diagnosed with ADHD and how does he view it?

Yes, the speaker has been diagnosed with ADHD. He views it as a superpower when combined with maturity, but as a nightmare when used as an excuse.

What was the speaker's academic performance like in high school and college?

The speaker had a GPA of 2.16 in high school, which he believes is barely passing. However, he almost doubled his GPA in college.

What significant change did the speaker experience in college?

The speaker had a significant change in college when he stopped engaging in addictive behaviors and started taking control of his life, which led to improved academic performance.

How did the speaker's religious beliefs influence his life change?

The speaker became religious after a terrifying, yet real presence feeling with God that he was going to die if he continued his previous lifestyle.

What is the speaker's approach to overcoming addictions?

The speaker's approach to overcoming addictions is to stop in the moment and to say no continuously, realizing that it's always a decision made in the moment.

How did the speaker get hired at Netflix?

The speaker got hired at Netflix after listing a skill in rxjs on his LinkedIn, which caught the attention of a hiring manager. He attributes his success to a combination of preparation and luck.

What was the speaker's experience like at Schedulicity?

The speaker had a negative experience at Schedulicity, describing it as a very hard job with a manipulative CEO.

How does the speaker stay organized in his work?

The speaker does not use any form of task tracking or writing things down. He believes that important things will be remembered and less important things will be forgotten.

What advice does the speaker have for someone starting in computer science?

The speaker recommends learning JavaScript for UI or middleware as it is an area with a lot of job opportunities. He also suggests considering Java due to its industry standard and demand.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Life as a Family Man and Streamer

The speaker introduces himself as a husband and father of four, balancing his life between engineering work and streaming on Twitch, focusing on programming and occasionally gaming. He discusses the challenge of managing his time and energy across his family, job, and streaming. The speaker also shares his experience with ADHD, viewing it as a superpower when combined with maturity, but cautions that without maturity, it can be detrimental. He reflects on his past struggles with addiction and how a spiritual experience led to a significant change in his life, resulting in him overcoming these addictions. He emphasizes the importance of self-control and making the right decisions.

05:01

🔄 Overcoming Challenges and Finding Balance

The individual discusses his journey of self-improvement, acknowledging past mistakes and his efforts to change. He talks about the realization of his addictive behaviors and the steps he took to overcome them, including a dramatic shift in attitude towards pornography and substance abuse. He also shares his experience with OCD tendencies and how he recognized and stopped these behaviors before they became a problem. The speaker highlights the importance of being in the moment and making immediate decisions to change, rather than waiting for a perfect time. He also touches on the idea that small changes can lead to significant shifts in one's life.

10:01

💼 Career Insights and Personal Growth

The speaker shares his professional journey, including his time at Schedulicity and how a chance encounter led to a better job opportunity. He reflects on the importance of hard work and the impact it had on shaping his career. He also discusses his approach to organization, or lack thereof, and how he prioritizes tasks based on importance. The individual offers advice for someone looking to break into computer science, recommending focusing on Javascript and UI development due to high demand and opportunities. He also suggests considering Java due to its industry standard and widespread use.

Keywords

💡Twitch

Twitch is a live streaming platform primarily focused on video game live streaming. In the context of the video, the speaker uses Twitch as a platform to stream programming and occasionally gaming content. It's a way for the speaker to share his expertise and engage with an audience interested in similar activities.

💡ADHD

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by symptoms like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. The speaker mentions being diagnosed with ADHD and views it as a 'superpower' when combined with maturity. He discusses how learning to control the energy associated with ADHD can be beneficial, but if not managed, it can be detrimental.

💡Maturity

Maturity in this context refers to the ability to handle complex situations and emotions responsibly and effectively. The speaker correlates maturity with the successful management of ADHD, suggesting that with maturity, one can transform what might be seen as a disadvantage into a strength.

💡High School GPA

GPA stands for Grade Point Average, a measure of a student's academic performance. The speaker reflects on his high school GPA of 2.16, which he considers barely passing. This keyword is significant as it contrasts with his later academic achievements, illustrating a turning point in his life and academic career.

💡College

The speaker discusses his transformation in college, where he significantly improved his academic performance. College serves as a backdrop for the speaker's personal growth and the development of discipline and focus, which are key themes in the narrative.

💡Addiction

Addiction is a term used to describe compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. The speaker talks about his past struggles with various addictions, including drugs and pornography, and how he managed to overcome them, which is a central part of his personal journey.

💡Religion

Religion is a system of beliefs and practices often centered around faith in a higher power. The speaker mentions becoming religious after a life-changing experience, suggesting that his newfound faith played a role in his personal transformation and decision to leave his past behind.

💡Discipline

Discipline refers to the ability to control one's behavior and overcome difficulties with determination and perseverance. The speaker discusses the importance of discipline in overcoming addictions and developing a more structured and productive lifestyle.

💡Netflix

Netflix is mentioned as the speaker's employer, where he has been working for nine years. It's used as an example of the speaker's career success and is tied to his discussion about career progression and the importance of both hard work and luck in achieving professional goals.

💡rxjs

rxjs is a JavaScript library for reactive programming using Observables, which was a skill the speaker had that led to his hiring at Netflix. It's an example of how specific technical skills can create opportunities and is tied to the speaker's career narrative.

💡JavaScript

JavaScript is a programming language widely used for web development. The speaker recommends learning JavaScript, especially for UI development, as a path to job opportunities. It's presented as a practical skill with high demand in the current job market.

Highlights

The speaker is a husband and father of four who balances work, family, and streaming on Twitch.

He works as an engineer and has a background in programming and occasional gaming.

He manages his busy life by being efficient at work, letting his subconscious solve problems.

The speaker has been diagnosed with ADHD, which he considers a superpower when combined with maturity.

He emphasizes the importance of controlling the energy within oneself for a productive life.

The speaker's academic performance improved significantly in college, going from a 2.16 GPA to much higher.

He struggled with addiction in his youth, including pornography, LSD, mushrooms, and methamphetamines.

A spiritual experience led to a turning point in his life, where he decided to stop his addictive behaviors.

The speaker believes that everyone has a 'hole' in their life that they try to fill, which can lead to addiction.

He shares his journey of overcoming addiction and the importance of self-control.

The speaker discusses the role of discipline in his life and how he has learned to control certain behaviors.

He had a near-death experience with a car accident that led to PTSD, which he overcame by facing his fears.

The speaker believes in the power of saying 'no' to oneself to overcome bad habits.

He shares his experience of getting a job at Netflix, attributing it to luck and preparation.

The speaker worked at Schedulicity before Netflix, where he experienced a difficult work environment.

He advises on the importance of focusing on what is most important and being organized without external tools.

The speaker recommends learning JavaScript or Java for those looking to get into computer science for job opportunities.

Transcripts

hello

to describe it I am a husband to a

beautiful wife father of four children I

am Engineering in the real world and I

stream on Twitch via programming and

sometimes gaming but rarely how do you

not pass out from being like extremely

tired for all the things that you do

like for children of wife a job a switch

what the heck I do things swiftly did I

just program really fast so my day job

you know I let my back brain solve 80 of

the problems and when I come to work I

know exactly what I want to do and so I

just do it as fast as humanly possible

have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD

oh yeah yeah that's not a problem it's a

superpower I like it my general takeaway

for ADHD is the following ADHD plus

maturity as a superpower ADHD plus

excuses is a nightmare right like you

got one or the other you have to fight

it every single day and once you learn

to control that wild wild set of energy

inside of you it becomes awesome but if

you don't it just rules you either the

dog shakes its tail or the tail Shake

takes the dog and God I I choose one

side and sometimes I have to choose it

14 000 times in a single day sometimes I

don't you know why are you also very

high performing back then or like no I

got 2.16 in high school which I believe

is barely passing yeah I almost doubled

my GPA in college did you find like a

magic formula

I guess the best way to describe it is

that when I was younger I started

getting into a lot of trouble so when I

was four years old I discovered

pornography so that was really bad and

so that kind of like affected my brain

for an extremely long period of time and

so that kind of drove the addiction

complex and all sorts of different

aspects of life and by the time I got to

college I was fairly addicted to many

things Paul would be the nicest thing

I'd be doing right a lot of LSD

mushrooms methamphetamines so at that

point I was fairly addicted to

everything okay really what it was was

that you're trying to fill a feeling you

know what I mean everyone has some sort

of hole in their life in which you try

to justify or fill in with something and

so it was very very difficult during

those times and then just one night I

had an extremely real presence feeling

with God that I was going to die to

continue this like very very terrifying

felt real like this is the end if you

continuous after that day I said okay I

do not wish to continue down this route

that was enough for me to say that is

the end from that day forward I stopped

doing those things obviously I try with

pouring the longest for about three

years I haven't looked at pornography in

15 years don't smoke cigarettes don't do

meth anymore that's positive uh but you

know like but but that was like the

beginning of me learning that I have to

take control of things because I let my

life be like I just let whatever I feel

dictate what I did and so at some point

I had to stop doing that and so then by

stopping doing that I started realizing

I can control much much more of how I

react not based on how I feel but what I

think is the right thing to do and so

after that my first semester in college

I didn't do great but I definitely

actually did not like seasoned these and

I was like wow I can do this I took

pre-calculus three times and failed and

then by that point I was like all right

I'm going to do this that's like the

moment that it happened and at that

point I took calc one and I was the

first person to finish every test about

45 minutes to an hour earlier than

everybody else and had the highest grade

every time they actually threw out my

test every single time I got like 150

every single time because they had to

remove my score from the the pool yeah I

know I I was the guy that set the curve

just ruining it for everybody else but

then they stopped letting me set the

curve and so after that point just

something clicked inside of me it's like

you do something long enough there just

comes a point where the fruit of that

trying changes you at first it was hard

I'm still getting C's getting degrees

right and then all of a sudden a year

after trying really hard every day and

then now I'm me are you also religious

yeah that day was the day I became

religious I wasn't religious before that

I had no I'd put myself as functional

atheist at that point before then just

because I you know sure God whatever

like that was probably my biggest

attitude towards I was like ah yeah you

know I haven't really think about it

right there's nothing up here that's

even thinking about those kind of things

and so when that happened that was a

rather larger life change because I was

not uh let's just say I wasn't planning

on it I was really enjoying or I thought

I did and also really hated my life at

the same time but I was really enjoying

the things I was doing if you will yeah

but you know whenever you're doing

things in addiction you always think you

enjoy them I love smoking cigarettes and

then when you're stopped you're like wow

did I hate that did you have to train

yourself to get back to have like a

discipline or or something I'm not

disciplined in all areas so there's

there's absolutely no I I would not call

myself a fully disciplined person right

I you know I don't make my bed in the

morning I have stopped a lot of like the

uncleanliness habits uh still very very

hard for me uh to do that I see that

you've cleaned up your room right

about a caller

cleaner

okay you can't be dirty

but no but but real talk like I still

struggle in a lot of areas and you know

there definitely comes a point where I

realize you can't win every time there's

probably a point where you get uh

decision satiation I'm not really sure

what the right term would be but where

you can't be on always you have to have

something in which you don't so I've

just kind of I'll never be the most

organized person and I recognize that

because at one point I felt like I

almost developed actual OCD like not the

oh hello but like I was organizing my

shirts by color and Allison I was just

like I've hit the peak like I either

have to stop or I'm developing a problem

and I recognize that time to stop so I

just stopped right there and then I've

never been clean since you're doing

something that is amazing the fact that

you recognize you had the problem with

all the addictions and then change and

then you had the OCD problem change it's

I I've had one more of those actually in

my life I got hit by a car when I was

biking in Alaska and the next day I took

one step onto the street to cross the

street broke on sweat everywhere

immediate PTSD I could I backed up and I

was like well I can't go across the

street and I realized that this is going

to dictate my life so I walked across

started sweating profusely car screeched

almost hit me again and I was just like

I cannot live like this I have to be

okay and for like the next two days I

would just sweat the whole time and then

I went away I do think we have more

Powers over our body than we probably

realize at least for me it's worked by

just saying no no and

saying it all day every day you have to

stop stop now you can't stop at the end

that's something else I learned you

don't stop in the middle of a pack of

cigarette or you don't stop at the end

of a pack of cigarettes you stop in the

moment it's always in the moment it's

always a no at that moment it's never

okay I'll be done X I don't think a lot

of people are successful if they allow

it because you're not really winning

you're just you know natural separation

which can't help it's not you who's

winning it's the separation I am not

working out tomorrow I start how does

that work in your brain yeah I tend to

do that as well I I will turn I'll just

I have to do it I actually recently did

just start working out again I hope you

do realize how much power do you have of

course being able to do this quick

changes and do not stay in like not all

of them are quick though you know like

the porn one took like three four years

smoking cigarettes took like a year you

know there's this old phrase that the

distance between your head and your

heart is the greatest distance in the

universe I am in pretty much in full

believer of that it takes a long time to

match what's up here in here it's it's

best if it comes from here every every

time that something has happened that's

really changed my life it's often that

it comes from here to my head not from

my head to here everyone's only a couple

decisions away from being anything right

a guy once told me that you know what's

the difference between you and someone

you hate or someone that we think is

repugnant which is just time and

circumstances or what what's the what's

the best way I heard someone say it

you're just a drink and a wink away from

ruining your life it doesn't take a lot

to do vast changes through your life I

try to be very careful and realize like

how fragile all these things actually

are it's not just my strength my

strength will only last for so long I

remember that once I was in your life

and you were saying that you use the

ball also because of like with your ADHD

or like because it's like another kind

of like entertainment for your buddy I

want to say that was Dan I don't know if

I said that I try not to do ticks of any

kind right you know how people will tap

their hands right and you let yourself

or you do something right it's not

really like I wouldn't call like a

Tourette type tick but you do things

right yeah everyone has something that

they do I eat the inside of my cheese

everyone has like some little thing that

they do right it's it's really really

weird how that works out but I try not

to do any of those I only do things when

I want to do them so if I want to bounce

on the ball I'm going to bounce on the

ball I don't just bounce out of the ball

out of habit it's when the moment is

right to bounce do you ever feel like

you want to lose entirely the control

ever have this feeling like [ __ ] it like

and you no because the other side was

terrible how much could I ask you about

Netflix I know that lending a job at

Netflix is extremely difficult my

general rule of thumb is what actually

happened is that I got really lucky you

like all like most success in life it

involves a great deal of preparation and

luck or as my mom used to say the harder

I work the luckier I get so I went to a

conference and I learned about a

technology called rxjs back then I I did

that I actually got kind of good at it

and I put it on my LinkedIn as a skill

and at that time period Netflix was

under this big guys that they need to

hire many people that are good at rxjs

so I really do think that that's

probably what happened is so by putting

it on LinkedIn a hiring manager found it

and brought me in for an interview and I

am pretty good at the social side of

things and Netflix tends to be a very

social heavy interview very light on the

technical in fact I didn't really even

have a technical someone asked me an

rxjs question and they love talking so

much that I just sat there and baited

them in and they literally wrote the

entire solution for me and I never even

knew what I did that was fantastic and

the rest of it was just like talking to

people like what's your least favorite

feature of Netflix so I was just like I

hate this you know just really forceful

and all that and they loved it and then

I won and how long have you been uh

working for Netflix I've been there nine

years in a couple months you've finished

your Bachelor then many years passed

before like you went to Netflix what can

I ask what did you do yeah I worked at a

place called Schedulicity it is the

hardest spelled startup business ever a

very manipulative CEO it was very very

bad but I worked there for six months

and by the end of the six months I said

to myself in the car that I will figure

out how to be happy even in this

situation I arrived to work I go to grab

a coffee run into somebody and he's just

like hey man I was like hey he's like

you work at Schedulicity right I'm like

yeah he's like how much do you make I

was like I make this much and he's like

I will pay you 50 more come work for us

and I was like okay because I hated my

current job so it was fantastic and it

was a really good job that I went to by

far the hardest worked like 60 70 hours

every week it was very very difficult

but it was a very very good experience

it definitely shaped a lot of who I am

how do you keep yourself organized do

you prefer agendas do you prefer like

everything in your brain how does your

brain in the organization works I don't

have any form of fracking no way no way

jira I don't write things down I have

come to the conclusion that the things

that are important you will remember and

the things that are less important you

will forget how does doing team work

with you works I just do what is most

important that I can possibly do and

stay very focused one thing at a time

what do you think that is potentially

most rewarding language or knowledge to

having computer science right now like

I'm starting now to study something what

should I start to study right now

I'd have to ask what is English is

obviously really important in

programming right if you didn't know

English I actually do think it'd be

really hard communication all that would

there'd definitely be a barrier there

doing business in America would be very

difficult if you didn't know English

right so I mean I don't know if that's a

computer science specific problem as

much as a business world problem

potentially so I would follow it up with

something a little bit different which

is what is your goal to get hired or to

understand programming the one that will

give me a better job with a better

salary then to me the easiest and most

straightforward path of all time is

Javascript UI that is the huge area very

very easy or when I say easy to get

hired in because I know there's a lot of

people that have spent a year they're

still not hired they're very

disheartened by it easy being easy for

the fact that you can't just get hired

writing a compiler right there's like a

thousand people 500 people maybe total

working on a compiler so that's much

much different whereas there's a large

audience and an ever-growing audience

working on UI or middleware JavaScript

area so so it's just the easiest of all

the places so that's kind of where I

would I would go is that or Java Java

has right now the biggest industry

standard there's a lot of companies that

are definitely hiring for Java so it's

kind of like you pick those two

languages you'll probably be successful

now will you like Java that's a

completely different question you know

thank you so much I really appreciate

you for this call Bye Alright bye bye