how to VALIDATE YOURSELF | stop seeking external validation, grow your self worth and level up!

Summary

This video script addresses the issue of seeking validation from others and emphasizes the importance of self-validation. It outlines various types of validation people seek, such as romantic, social media, community, familial, and academic, and explains how this behavior stems from a weak self-perception. The speaker provides actionable advice on how to stop seeking external validation, including self-affirmation, understanding one's attachment style, taking a 'male detox', setting high standards for relationships, and focusing on self-improvement. The ultimate goal is to build a strong self-schema and learn to validate one's own emotions and experiences, leading to a more independent and self-loving life.

Takeaways

• 📞 Avoid seeking immediate validation from others when experiencing negative emotions; instead, learn to process and validate your feelings independently.
• 🤳 Recognize that external validation, such as social media likes or romantic approval, is fleeting and does not foster long-term self-worth.
• 🏠 Build a 'home' within yourself that is safe, supportive, and loving, so you can return to it for validation rather than relying on external sources.
• 🔍 Understand that seeking validation is often rooted in a shaky self-concept and self-esteem that are dependent on external approval.
• 🚫 Stop giving power to others' opinions by recognizing that their judgments are temporary and often a reflection of their own lives, not yours.
• 💪 Develop self-love and independence by setting high standards for friendships and relationships, ensuring they align with your self-worth.
• 🧘‍♀️ Practice solitude to enjoy your own company, which can boost your confidence and make you less reliant on external validation.
• 🚫 Refrain from people-pleasing behaviors that diminish your authenticity and self-respect in the pursuit of others' approval.
• 🔑 Learn to set boundaries and protect your peace without fear of disappointing others, as self-respect is paramount.
• 📈 Focus on self-improvement and achieving personal goals to build a strong foundation of self-worth that reduces the need for external validation.

Q & A

What is the main issue the video aims to address?

The video addresses the issue of seeking validation from others, which is portrayed as a fast track to betraying oneself and a way to lose self-love and self-worth.

Why is seeking validation considered harmful according to the video?

Seeking validation is harmful because it indicates a lack of trust in oneself and suggests reliance on external opinions for self-worth, which can lead to a never-ending cycle of chasing fulfillment without achieving it.

What are the different types of validation mentioned in the video?

The video mentions five types of validation: romantic or mate validation, social media validation, community validation, familial validation, and academic validation.

What is the root cause of seeking validation as discussed in the video?

The root cause of seeking validation, as discussed in the video, is having a weak self-perception built on a shaky foundation of self-worth, often due to receiving little to no validation during childhood or teenage years.

How can one start to validate themselves according to the video?

One can start to validate themselves by closing the gap between their public and private self, ensuring they are the same person in all settings, and not curating a persona for external validation.

What role does male validation play in the video's discussion?

Male validation is discussed as a common area where individuals seek external validation, often leading to a never-ending path of seeking approval and not finding long-term fulfillment.

What is the advice given for those struggling with male validation?

The advice for those struggling with male validation includes taking a 'male detox' to focus on self-love and independence, and understanding that men's opinions should not define one's worth or beauty.

How does the video suggest handling the need for people-pleasing?

The video suggests handling the need for people-pleasing by setting high standards for friendships, focusing on self-improvement, and learning to enjoy solitude to build self-confidence.

What is the significance of building a positive self-schema according to the video?

Building a positive self-schema is significant because it helps in developing a solid self-worth, which in turn prevents the need for seeking external validation and allows one to accept and process their emotions healthily.

How can journaling or video recording be beneficial as per the video's discussion?

Journaling or video recording can be beneficial as they provide a private space for individuals to express and process their emotions without seeking immediate external validation, aiding in self-understanding and self-validation.