Supporting the whole child for the whole world: Moe Caroln-Anderson at TEDxBend
Summary
TLDRThe speaker discusses the importance of understanding children's developmental stages (ages 0-21) to support their growth. They highlight the role of parents and teachers in shaping a child's worldview through boundaries, modeled behavior, and emotional expression. From ages 0-7, children learn through their senses; from 7-14, they explore emotional development through arts; and from 14-21, they seek truth and independence. The speaker shares personal anecdotes, stressing the need for balanced growth and encouraging collaboration between parents and teachers for holistic child development.
Takeaways
- 👨👩👧👦 Parents and teachers are doing their best to support children, but there is often a tendency to judge one another when challenges arise.
- 👶 Children aged 0 to 7 understand the world through their bodily senses and need boundaries to help them develop within their family dynamic.
- 🧒 Children at this age learn through modeled behavior, and adults must be worthy of emulation to guide them effectively.
- 💡 Children 7 to 14 enter a phase of emotional development, becoming aware of their individuality and their mortality around age 9.
- 🎨 During the 7 to 14 age range, creative expression through the arts is critical for developing emotional competencies and emotional intelligence.
- 💔 Suppressing emotional expression in children can lead to behavioral issues such as bullying, emphasizing the importance of emotional exploration.
- 👩🎨 Focusing only on academic success without nurturing the whole child (emotionally, physically, and creatively) results in an incomplete human experience.
- 👦 Teenagers aged 14 to 21 seek to find their own truth and challenge societal norms, which is a natural and necessary part of their development.
- 🚗 Although teenagers demand freedom, this independence must be managed within boundaries to ensure their safety and growth.
- 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of faith and taking risks in life, reminding parents and educators to trust the process of development and growth in children.
Q & A
What is the main message of the speaker in the video?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of collaboration between parents and teachers in understanding and supporting children's development at different stages of their growth.
Why does the speaker say that parents and teachers often criticize each other?
-The speaker notes that when challenges arise with children, parents and teachers tend to criticize each other because both groups are doing their best in their respective roles, but they often don't understand the struggles the other group faces.
How do children aged 0 to 7 perceive the world according to the speaker?
-Children aged 0 to 7 perceive the world through their bodily senses—what they see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. At this stage, children believe the world is an extension of their own body.
What is the significance of modeled behavior for children aged 0 to 7?
-Modeled behavior is crucial because children at this age learn through imitation. Adults must be worthy of emulation to foster a child's sense of goodness and help them believe they are good.
What developmental shift occurs around age 9, and how does it affect children?
-Around age 9, children experience what is known as the '9-year change,' where they become aware that they and the world are separate entities. This realization can lead to regressive behaviors as children cope with their newfound understanding of separation and their mortality.
Why is art important for children aged 7 to 14, according to the speaker?
-Art is vital for children aged 7 to 14 because this is the stage where their emotional competencies develop. Through creative expression, they explore their feelings without fear of being right or wrong, which is essential for becoming well-rounded individuals.
What happens when children are not allowed to express their feelings during the 7 to 14 age range?
-If children in this age range are not allowed to express their feelings, those emotions get buried deep inside, potentially leading to behavioral problems such as bullying.
How does the speaker describe the developmental needs of children aged 14 to 21?
-Children aged 14 to 21 need to know that the world is true, but they must discover this truth on their own rather than having it imposed on them. This is a time when they challenge authority and societal norms as part of their growth.
How does the speaker suggest parents should handle teenagers' questioning of rules and norms?
-The speaker advises that while teens are allowed to question and challenge authority, their freedom should be managed with clear boundaries, such as following laws while still allowing them space to explore their identity.
What is the quote the speaker leaves the audience with, and what is its significance?
-The speaker quotes, 'When you are on the edge of all the light that you know and you are about to step off into the abyss of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: either there will be something solid to stand on or you'll be taught how to fly.' This quote emphasizes the importance of faith and trust when navigating uncertainty, especially in parenting and teaching.
Outlines
👨👩👧👦 Parenting and Teaching: Collaborating for Children's Success
The speaker passionately addresses both parents and teachers, acknowledging their efforts to provide the best environments for children. However, they point out the common issue of criticism and judgment when challenges arise. They stress the importance of working together and understanding child development stages—specifically ages 0-7, where children learn through bodily senses and need to feel the world is an extension of themselves. Using a personal anecdote about her sons and their playpen, she illustrates how children require boundaries and the need to feel connected to the family dynamic.
🎨 Ages 7-14: The Emotional Growth of Children
At this stage, children begin to see the world and themselves as separate entities. This is a critical developmental phase often marked by regressive behaviors. The speaker cites Rudolph Steiner's concept of the '9-year change,' where children become aware of their mortality, and this knowledge drives them to engage with the world through their emotions. The speaker emphasizes the importance of arts in developing emotional intelligence during this phase. Parents often undervalue artistic expression in favor of academic success, but the speaker humorously counters this, stating that children need to be well-rounded human beings, not just 'giant heads.'
🧠 Ages 14-21: Adolescence and the Search for Truth
During adolescence, children seek to understand the truth but need to discover it on their own, often challenging societal norms and authority. The speaker shares an anecdote about a teenager striving for a balanced life between earning money and pursuing passions. They explain how teenagers need both freedom and structure. A humorous memory of the speaker's own teenage rebellion—proclaiming vegetarianism while wearing leather—highlights the importance of laughing with, not at, teenagers. The speaker concludes with a powerful quote on faith, encouraging parents and teachers to support children as they step into the unknown.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Parents
💡Teachers
💡Child Development
💡Boundaries
💡Modeled Behavior
💡9-Year Change
💡Emotional Competence
💡Frontal Lobes
💡Freedom
💡Faith
Highlights
Introduction emphasizing the importance of family, children, and education for both parents and teachers.
Parents and teachers should collaborate on solving issues instead of criticizing each other.
Children aged 0-7 engage with the world through their bodily senses (seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, and touching).
Children at this age believe the world is an extension of their body, explaining why they bump into each other.
Personal anecdote about the speaker's son seeking clear boundaries and needing to be at the center of the family dynamic.
Children aged 0-7 learn best through modeled behavior, making adults role models that children emulate.
Children 7-14 begin to understand the world through their emotions, marking the 'feeling life' phase.
The '9-year change' marks a child's awareness of their mortality and their emotional development.
At this stage, children need arts and emotional expression to grow into fully developed humans.
Suppressing a child's emotions can lead to internalized feelings and the emergence of negative behaviors like bullying.
Parents of middle schoolers often prioritize academic success over emotional development, missing the opportunity to nurture a well-rounded child.
Children aged 14-21 challenge everything as part of their journey to find truth, and this rebellious phase needs guidance.
Teens need to understand that freedom comes with responsibility and compliance with laws.
Humor with teenagers can foster connection, but laughing at them can harm relationships.
A closing quote about faith: knowing that either a solid foundation will appear or you'll be taught how to fly when stepping into the unknown.
Transcripts
thank
you thank you I am passionate about
family children and
education by a show of hands how many in
the audience are
parents great it's a lot of you thank
you and how many of you are
teachers great
thanks now I know as parents you are
doing the very best that you can to
provide a healthy and happy home life
for your children and I know as teachers
you do the very best that you can so
that your students meet
success but I also know that when issues
and challenges arrive in with our kids
there's a
tendency to criticize each other and to
judge each other and for those of us
that are parents and teachers
simultaneously we're just a mess because
we don't know what side to blame right
so but if we lean into these issues and
challenges we can come up with Solutions
together now I
know that an effective way to do this is
by looking at Child
Development because children 0
to7 7 to 14 and 14 to 21 need very
different support systems as they grow
and develop we know for example that
children 0 to7 understand the world
through their body bodily senses that is
what children see smell hear taste and
touch is how a child engages in the
world
children at this age believe that the
world is an extension of their own body
this is why we see little kids running
into each other because they don't know
where they end and their friend
begins
right so while we don't expect a
four-year-old to put together a business
plan or understand great literary works
of art that doesn't mean that they
aren't absolutely
brilliant many years ago when my sons
were very young my husband and I had a
play pen in the middle of our living
room and it was one of those that had
mesh sides on it and I had just come
home from a yoga class and I walked into
the living room and there is the baby on
the outside of the play pen pulling
himself up but wanting to get into the
play pen and I thought okay this is
weird he never wanted to be in the play
pen and I looked closer at and my
5-year-old was sitting in the playpen
and I said honey what are you doing in
the playpen and he saidwell Mama it's
the only place in the house where I can
play with my
Legos so I knew I had a genius
right but that was very Illuminating to
me for two reasons my son had given me
some tools to be in effective parent and
one of those were very clear boundaries
so that he could get on with the
business of playing and the other one
was that he needed to be in the middle
of the family Dynamic he wanted to be
near us he could have gone into his room
and played with his Legos and not have
baby Zilla come and slobber all over his
Masterpiece but he decided he needed to
be in the center and so those are two
very very important tools that we can
use as parents and teachers when working
with young children children the other
thing that I know is that children at
this
age learn through modeled
behavior and so as adults we need to be
worthy of
emulation because children at this age
need to know that the world is good and
then by extension the child can say I am
good children 7 to 14 have a different
way way of interpreting the world around
age 8 and 1 half or 9 often we see
regressive behaviors now this can be bed
weding thumb sucking nightmares a
reluctance to want to spend the night at
a friend's house even though she lives
two doors
away Rudolph Steiner who is the founder
of Walder education worldwide says this
is the 9-year change and it's really a
time when the
child becomes aware that her world and
herself are
separate in their phenomenal book
optimal parenting authors ba and Josette
lemore say that children at this age
become cognizant of their own death and
because now children know that their
physical body is going to fall away they
need to interact with the world through
a different life lens and that lens is
through the
heart this is the birth of the feeling
life of children 7 to
14 this is why the Arts are so critical
to our elementary and middle school age
children because this is where emotional
competencies and capacities are
developed and when children can explore
and express themselves without being
right or wrong
then we have a full human
being children that are not allowed to
express themselves have those feelings
anyway and they get buried deep inside
and what we end up with our
bullies parents around Middle School Age
come to me and say well it's lovely that
my daughter likes to paint or that my
son is really into music but you know
this is is Middle School they're going
to high school and then on to college
and I really need my son to be
ahead and I started thinking about that
and I thought well yes and then I
laughed right out loud because you don't
want your son to be a giant head yeah
you want him to be a full human
being when we focus our education from
the neck up
we lose so much of what's going on with
children at this age because what
children need to know at this time in
their life is that life is
beautiful and then by extension the
child can say I am
beautiful children 14 to 21 and yes they
are still children they have no frontal
loes they're not developed yet
need something entirely different they
need to know that the world is
true but this truth cannot come from an
an imposed upon them it has to come out
of them this is why children at this age
will challenge everything from
Thanksgiving dinner at grandmas to the
Bill of
Rights this is their job this is what
they're supposed to do and yet this free
Freedom needs to be
managed yes of course dear you can use
the car but there are laws that you have
to comply with a few years ago my family
and I were on the Wild and Scenic River
of the Rogue and there were five
teenagers and three adults and we were
clearly
outnumbered but as we were chopping
vegetables that night for dinner I
turned to one of these lovely young
teens and who I've known since she was a
baby and I said so how's it going how's
school and she said well it's like this
I'm taking AP classes and honors classes
and all of these hard classes so that I
can get into a good college so that I
can get a good job so that I can earn a
lot of money so that when I finally
retire I'll be able to do what I want to
do and I said really and she said yes
but I'm going to change that and I said
well how are you going to change that
and she said well I'm just going to get
a great job making lots of money doing
what I love to do and I thought right on
that's what we want for you and I just
want to tip my hat to my parents I
remember coming in at dinner time and
announcing that I was now a vegetarian
because the slaughter of animals was not
only disgusting it was immoral as I took
off my leather gloves and unzipped my
leather boots yeah okay so laughing with
our teens helps Forge connection
laughing at them does
not so as we are on this quest to be the
very best that we can for our
children I have a quote that I would
like to leave with you and I've read it
pretty much every day it's on my fridge
and it says when you are on the edge of
all of the light that you know and you
are about to step off into the abyss of
the
unknown faith is knowing one of two
things will happen either there will be
something solid to stand on or you'll be
taught how to fly fly safely thank you
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