The only Disability in life is a bad attitude | Malvika Iyer | TEDxIIMKozhikode

Summary

This inspiring narrative recounts the journey of a young girl who survived a devastating bomb blast at age 13, losing both hands and sustaining severe leg injuries. Despite the physical and emotional trauma, she chose to fight, not surrender. She pursued her education, excelled in her exams, and met the then President of India, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, who encouraged her spirit. She continued her education, worked with underprivileged children, and became a motivational speaker. She advocates for accessibility in fashion and challenges societal norms of beauty and 'normalcy,' embracing her own strength and resilience.

Takeaways

• 🔥 Start with what you have and never stop, as you don't know your true potential until you're tested.
• 💥 A traumatic event, like a bomb blast, can change one's life, but it's the resilience that defines the future.
• 🩹 Physical injuries and emotional trauma can be overwhelming, but acceptance is the first step towards healing.
• 💪 The decision to fight against adversity can lead to overcoming challenges and achieving success.
• 🏆 Academic achievements, even under difficult circumstances, can be a turning point and a source of inspiration.
• 🤝 Meeting influential figures like a president can provide encouragement and direction for future endeavors.
• 🌟 Working with children and recognizing their unique talents can lead to a realization of one's purpose in life.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The support of family and friends is invaluable in overcoming life's challenges and achieving personal goals.
• 🚫 Society's focus on appearance can be limiting, but self-acceptance and happiness are more important than fitting in.
• 🗣️ Speaking about personal experiences can empower others and contribute positively to their lives.
• 👗 Advocating for accessibility in fashion and beyond can help create a more inclusive world for everyone.

Q & A

What significant event occurred in the speaker's life in 2002?

In 2002, the speaker survived a freak bomb blast caused by a fire in an ammunition depot, which resulted in the loss of her hands and significant damage to her legs.

How did the speaker's daily life change after the accident?

After the accident, the speaker had to face daily dressing changes due to her leg injuries, experience nerve paralysis and hypoesthesia, and accept the loss of her hands and the disfigurement of her legs.

What was the speaker's mindset while in the hospital?

The speaker decided to fight and not surrender to her situation, choosing to accept reality and not waste time wishing it to be different.

How did the speaker manage to participate in her 10th board examinations?

Despite being bedridden, the speaker prepared for her 10th board examinations and wrote them with the help of a writer, dictating her answers and learning diagrams.

What was the impact of the speaker's exam results on her life?

The speaker's excellent results, including a centum in maths and science, were life-changing, leading to an invitation from Dr. Kalam, the then president of India, to Rashtrapati Bhavan.

What career path did the speaker choose after her interaction with Dr. Kalam?

Inspired by Dr. Kalam, the speaker pursued a graduation degree in economics from St. Stephen's and later a master's in Social Work from the Delhi School of Social Work.

How did the speaker's work with children influence her perspective on life?

Working with children, especially those with disabilities, made the speaker realize their unique capabilities and talents, leading her to understand the importance of recognizing and nurturing potential.

What role did the speaker's mother play in her journey?

The speaker's mother was a pillar of strength, always supportive and encouraging her to take on challenges, which was crucial in the speaker's healing and success.

How does the speaker view her disability and its impact on her life?

The speaker sees her disability as a superpower rather than a hindrance, and she has learned to accept herself and be happy, despite societal pressures to conform to certain beauty standards.

What message does the speaker convey about facing challenges and moving forward?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of accepting oneself and one's circumstances, and not giving up in the face of challenges. She encourages others to walk into uncharted territory with confidence and joy.

How does the speaker advocate for accessibility and inclusivity in fashion?

The speaker participated as a showstopper in a fashion show promoting accessibility, wearing specially designed gowns that she could put on independently, highlighting the need for fashion to be inclusive for all, including differently-abled individuals.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Overcoming Adversity: A Journey of Resilience

The speaker recounts a life-changing event in 2002 when, at the age of 13, they survived a bomb blast that resulted in the loss of their hands and severe leg injuries. Despite the physical and emotional trauma, they chose to fight rather than surrender. With unwavering determination, they prepared for their 10th-grade board exams while bedridden, using a writer's assistance due to their injuries. Their hard work paid off when they achieved top results in the state, including a perfect score in math and science. This success caught the attention of Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, then President of India, who invited them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The speaker's achievements and subsequent meeting with the president marked a pivotal moment in their life, inspiring them to continue striving for excellence. They pursued higher education, focusing on social work and children's rights, and eventually realized their purpose was to give back to society, helping others recognize their potential.

05:01

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Support and Acceptance: The Role of Family and Self-Love

The speaker emphasizes the critical role of their mother's strength and support, along with their family and friends, in their journey to overcome physical challenges and societal expectations. They reflect on the initial struggles, such as the difficulty of climbing stairs, and how they learned to accept their new reality. The speaker also discusses the societal emphasis on beauty and the pressure to conform, but they chose to embrace their identity and disability. They recount their decision to speak openly about their experiences, which empowered them and others. The speaker's philosophy is that a positive attitude is essential, and they view their disability as a superpower rather than a hindrance. They share their experience of walking the ramp as a showstopper, advocating for fashion accessibility for differently-abled individuals, and their belief in the importance of self-acceptance and moving forward in life.

10:01

🌟 Embracing Life's Challenges: The Power of Positivity

The speaker concludes by expressing gratitude for the life-altering accident, which they believe has made their life incredibly meaningful. They stress the importance of self-acceptance and moving on from past traumas, rather than being consumed by questions of 'why me?' They encourage embracing life's challenges with a positive attitude and a spirit of adventure. The speaker shares their personal philosophy that life's narrative is full of unexpected stops and starts, and the key is to continue living and adapting. They inspire listeners to cherish their spirit and to face life's uncharted territories with confidence and joy.

Keywords

💡Resilience

Resilience refers to the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, adapt to change, and bounce back from adversity. In the video, the speaker demonstrates resilience by overcoming the physical and emotional challenges after a bomb blast that resulted in the loss of her hands and significant leg injuries. Despite the trauma, she chose to fight and not surrender, which is a testament to her inner strength and determination.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance is the act of embracing reality, even when it is difficult or painful. The speaker in the video had to accept the loss of her hands and the disfigurement of her legs. She realized that acceptance was crucial to moving forward and not wasting time wishing for a different reality. This acceptance allowed her to focus on her recovery and future goals.

💡Adversity

Adversity is a term used to describe a difficult or unfortunate situation; a hardship. The video script is filled with accounts of adversity, particularly the speaker's experience of a bomb blast that drastically changed her life. The adversity she faced became a catalyst for her personal growth and the development of her strong character.

💡Perseverance

Perseverance is the act of persisting in a course of action despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. The speaker's decision to prepare for her 10th board examinations while bedridden and in pain is a prime example of perseverance. She did not let her physical limitations deter her from pursuing her education, which is a central theme in her story of overcoming obstacles.

💡Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the process of embracing oneself, including one's strengths and weaknesses. In the video, the speaker talks about her journey to self-acceptance after her accident, which involved overcoming societal expectations of beauty and functionality. She learned to be happy with her body and to not let her disability define her, which is a powerful message in the narrative.

💡Invisible Thread

The 'invisible thread' is a metaphor used by the speaker to describe the connection between an individual and their destiny or potential. She believes that despite life's challenges, there is an unbreakable bond that links her to her purpose. This concept is used to inspire hope and to encourage viewers to believe in their ability to achieve their goals, no matter the obstacles.

💡Disability

Disability, in the context of the video, refers to a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities. The speaker discusses her disability openly, challenging the viewer's perception of what it means to be 'normal' and advocating for a broader understanding of disability as a part of human diversity.

💡Support System

A support system consists of friends, family, and other individuals who provide emotional, financial, or practical assistance. The speaker emphasizes the importance of her mother and family's support in her recovery and journey. Their unwavering belief in her abilities and their encouragement were instrumental in her ability to overcome adversity.

💡Education

Education is the process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university. The speaker's pursuit of education, despite her physical challenges, is a central theme in the video. It symbolizes her determination and serves as a powerful example of the transformative power of education.

💡Advocacy

Advocacy involves actively supporting or arguing for a cause, often through public or political means. The speaker advocates for fashion and accessibility, challenging societal norms and promoting inclusivity for differently-abled individuals. Her participation in a fashion show as a showstopper with accessible clothing is a direct example of her advocacy work.

💡Challenges

Challenges are tasks or problems that test someone's abilities or resources. The video is filled with accounts of various challenges the speaker faced, from physical rehabilitation to societal expectations. Each challenge is presented as an opportunity for growth and a stepping stone towards her ultimate success.

Highlights

Starting with fear, pain, and doubt is a powerful call to action for overcoming adversity.

The importance of starting where you are, despite the challenges.

Surviving a bomb blast at the age of 13 and the resilience to move forward.

The physical and emotional trauma of losing both hands and dealing with leg injuries.

The decision to fight against the odds and not surrender to disability.

Preparing for board exams while bedridden and the determination to not waste a year.

Achieving top results in state exams despite the challenges.

The inspirational meeting with Dr. Kalam, the then president of India.

The pursuit of higher education at St. Stephen's and Delhi School of Social Work.

The realization of the unique capabilities and talents in every child, especially those with disabilities.

The decision to give back to society by helping others discover their potential.

The support from family and friends as a pillar of strength throughout the journey.

The personal struggle and the belief in one's ability to achieve despite physical limitations.

The acceptance of one's body and the rejection of societal beauty standards.

The empowerment of speaking about one's fears and disability to gain strength.

The concept of success being measured by the positive influence on others' lives.

The advocacy for fashion and accessibility for differently-abled individuals.

The message of accepting oneself and moving on as a path to a beautiful journey.

The importance of not giving up and facing challenges with a positive attitude.

The narrative of life with trauma, and the resilience to continue despite interruptions.

Transcripts

start now start where you are

with fear start with pain start with

doubt start with hands shaking start

with voice trembling but start start

with what you have start and never stop

because you never know what you are made

of until you're tested on a warm summer

afternoon in 2002 a deafening sound

completely knocked me out yes I survived

a freak bomb blast it was caused by a

fire in an ammunition depot I was 13

years old at that time the explosion had

ripped my hands off but more than the

damage to my hands there was a lot of

damage to my legs for three months my

legs were cut open

there were splinters everywhere and they

needed to be cleaned every day so every

day dressing it was a gory sight the

pain was excruciating

I had nerve paralysis in my right leg

and hypo stayshia which is loss of

sensation in my left leg the emotional

trauma of accepting the loss of both my

hands and the disfiguration of both my

legs and the fact that I have to accept

and have to live with this kind of

bodily limitation was extreme as a child

I aged in extracurricular activities I

was a trained Kathak dancer in fact but

there I was bedridden in the hospital

hoping against hope that I would somehow

come out of the drama

one day on the hospital bed I thought to

myself reality may not be what you want

it to be but it is the reality you must

now face you can deny this reality and

try to wish it away or you can accept it

and not waste any time wanting it to be

any different so that night on the

hospital bed I thought to myself that I

had only two choices from their fight

and I Will Survive surrender and I will

be wiped out I decided to fight

my wounds refused to heal but I did I

was bedridden and all my classmates

everyone had started preparing for their

10th board examinations and I have

thought to myself that why not give it a

throttle I knew that no school would

admit me with this three months to go

for the board exams but I was determined

that I had to ride I did not want to

waste any year I was just determined to

write the exams I prepared and prepared

and on crutches I wrote my exams with

the help of a writer three months of

preparation learning mathematics

learning diagrams dictating calculus

dictating extreme biology diagrams it

was a challenge it was a very big

challenge but I wanted to do it and I

did it the day my result came I think it

was a life-changing moment I was one

among the state toppers I wish for the

centum in maths and science and I think

that probably that result I mean if I

still look back to that moment that

result completely changed my life but I

didn't know that the writer was also so

intelligent so my achievements were

covered in a lot of newspapers and dr.

Kalam the then president read about me

and invited me to rashtrapati bhavan it

was a divine moment to meet him to

receive appreciation from him he

congratulated me he asked about my

future plans and he said that he is

amazed that such a small I was a

teenager and you know at that age you

have such high spirits and he

congratulated me and he wished me that

you must go very far from here I took

that I took all of the encouragement he

gave me and I wanted to strive for the

best I decided to do my graduation in

st. Stephen's I pursued a graduation

degree in economics and then I continued

to do my masters in Delhi School of

Social Work when I was doing my Master's

I worked with a lot of different liberal

children especially a lot of children

and that's when I realized that each one

is so unique in their kind they have

such amazing

they have such amazing capability such

amazing talent and it has to be it has

to be seen it this the way I was

included is the way someone found out

that what I am built off they also

needed someone was there someone had to

find out what they were made of and

that's when I realized that it is my

time to give back what I received it's

my time to give it back so this is how

the healing happened but I think this

would have been incomplete without the

strength and the support of my mother

who is a pillar of strength she's been

like a shadow

throughout never giving up on me and

always in for any adventure no matter

what she's always saying yes and I had a

lot of support of my family and friends

and I believe that then I they never let

me down and I feel that that was the

biggest that was the biggest gift they

could ever give me I really struggled to

reach where I am today I never planned

any of it I didn't knew I didn't know

that I this is how my life is going to

be or this is how I am going to this is

what is going to become of me nobody

knew I decided to only focus on my

studies and just take one day at a time

I still remember when I was just

pursuing my 10th standard the biggest

challenge at that time was to be able to

climb staircase so it has really taken

me a long way I have also felt that this

accident took away a lot from me

it took my ability to walk it took my

ability to do a lot of things with my

hands I mean if you all look close your

hands both your hands and clenched it in

a tight fist like how you punch someone

both your hands that is my reality

I mean imagine doing imagine writing

with it imagine holding a spoon with it

imagine applying a Kajal with it

everything so that was my reality I

didn't know that I was ever going to be

able to do something but here I am and

I'm I have always believed that there is

an invisible thread that connects us to

what we are destined to achieve the

thread may sometimes

it may even stretch but it never breaks

I feel that this accident has given me a

second life I lost 80 percent blood I

was going to die that day my doctors had

said they had told that I had lost my BP

was zero and it was just a gory side but

I just loved how my life has turned out

to be I have never felt bad for the way

my body is the society we live in

attributes a lot of importance to beauty

more than once education or career one

is always focused into a competition to

become most beautiful you have to look

your best at all times

fairness products perfect makeups

everything but I have learned to accept

myself and be happy in a society like

this but I do remember that when I was

in college I try to camouflage my

disability I try to wear full sleeves I

try to shy away from shaking hands and

then I realized that what am i doing

this is not my reality this is not if I

am just trying to be too normal and what

is normal what is the definition of

normal who defines normal actually I

just knew that this was not helping me

to trying to be someone who I was not

then one day I decided to step out and

talk about what happened to me to speak

my fears I learned that going out and

talking to people gives you that amazing

strength and courage to move on and I

think that's what it gave me and thus I

began my journey as a speaker I once

read somewhere that a measure of one's

success is the degree of positive

influence that you have on someone

else's life as well as your own I

immediately recollected the male's I had

received from people they used to write

to me saying that they had stopped

complaining that they stopped blaming

that they started hoping they started

living that to me was my proudest moment

ever

as Scott Hamilton rightly said the only

disability in life is a bad attitude so

going by this definition I don't think I

have a disability I feel this is my

superpower

my legs still hurt when I walk and I

have to really convince my mind that I

have to take those hipster steps I have

to walk because I have to have to

continue whatever I am doing but that's

not all when I was bedridden in the

hospital one day the doctors declared

that this girl is never going to be able

to walk again but was I to believe them

never I walk the ramp last year as in a

showstopper gown to promote

accessibility and so why should fashion

be only for the so-called normal people

why not for differently-abled as well so

that was the whole campaign and they

designed these lovely gowns one was a

beautiful Maharani pink and red gown and

the other was a Spanish frill down and

it was accessible so that I could wear

it on my own because how many shops do

you go and you can just say that I am

someone with artificial hands and I need

to buy a gown I have never really seen a

place like that so this is what I am

advocating for fashion and accessibility

so this is for people by fashion is for

everyone everyone wants to look good so

it really does not matter whether you

have a perfect body or whether you have

it's your definition what is perfect it

is all your definition the accident was

a terrible experience but sometimes I

thank God it happened because I don't

think my life would have been as

incredible as it is today wherever you

are

accept yourself and move on from there I

believe it is the Y questions that kill

people from inside if I had started

questioning why this accident happened

to me why me why I had to go through all

this I would probably have spent my life

chasing these questions in vain the

moment you accept yourself what has

happened to you I believe the road ahead

opens up the fog clears and it's a

beautiful journey from there on places

people and

enhance enlighten and enthrall you so

never give up why should you give up I

believe I have reasons to give up

everyday even now it was a strenuous

task to walk every day is a challenge

every day you have I know big or small

is it everyday you all face challenges

but why give up walk into that uncharted

territory with your head held high and a

heart full of joy I believe that we are

all gifted with that spirit and that

spirit is what we should always always

nurture always always cherish some

people's life seem to flow in a

narrative mine had many stops and starts

that is what trauma does it interrupts

the plot you can't process it because it

doesn't fit with what came before or

what comes afterwards it just happens

and then life goes on no one prepares

you for it

you just live

you