Video Mar 01 2024 Video1Final
Summary
TLDRApril Lee discusses the importance of maintaining privacy in marriage, emphasizing the value of being a 'quiet woman' who does not share personal relationship matters with outsiders. She explains how oversharing can damage trust and create resentment among loved ones. Instead, April advocates for seeking counsel from trusted, successful couples or professional counselors. She also highlights the importance of prayer, communication, and personal resilience in overcoming challenges. April concludes by encouraging women to find advisors who genuinely support their marriage, avoiding those who may push for separation.
Takeaways
- đ€ Maintaining privacy in marriage is crucial. Sharing details with others can harm the trust between spouses.
- đŹ Discussing marital issues with external sources, like friends or family, can create biases and resentment.
- đĄïž Protect your marriage by keeping personal matters between you and your spouse.
- đ« It's important to have a trusted couple or counselor for guidance, but not to overshare with friends or family.
- đ Privacy in marriage builds trust, security, and confidence between partners.
- đ Prayer, self-reflection, and personal coping mechanisms help manage emotions without external interference.
- đȘ Communication with your spouse is key to resolving issues and maintaining a strong bond.
- đ„ Seek advice from those who will support your marriage, not encourage separation or negativity.
- đ§ Understand and respect differences in how each partner approaches privacy and sharing.
- đŻ A successful marriage involves learning from and adapting to each otherâs preferences while maintaining mutual respect.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the speaker's message?
-The main theme is the importance of privacy in a marriage, particularly how women should refrain from sharing private marital details with people outside the relationship, like family or friends.
Why does the speaker advise against sharing marital issues with friends and family?
-The speaker believes sharing private details can cause friends or family to form negative opinions about the husband, which can persist even after the couple has resolved their issues.
What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to sharing personal marriage details with friends or family?
-The speaker advocates for seeking advice from a counselor or a trusted couple with a successful marriage, who can provide objective guidance rather than biased opinions.
How does the speaker view marriage counseling?
-The speaker is a strong advocate for marriage counseling and believes that finding a mentor couple with similar values can help guide and support a marriage.
How does the speaker handle emotional challenges within her marriage?
-The speaker uses prayer, reading the Bible, and spending time in a personal 'prayer closet' to process emotions privately. She emphasizes communicating directly with her husband and seeking counseling if necessary.
What role does trust play in the speakerâs view of a successful marriage?
-Trust is crucial in the speakerâs view, as keeping private matters within the marriage builds the husband's confidence in his wife and fosters a sense of security.
How does the speaker's husband differ in his approach to privacy?
-The speaker's husband is more open and willing to share details with others, which sometimes conflicts with her preference for privacy. However, she has learned to accept this difference.
What advice does the speaker give for finding the right person to share marital struggles with?
-The speaker advises finding someone who is supportive of the marriage and encourages resolution, rather than someone who might suggest divorce or foster resentment.
What does the speaker mean by âguarding the marriageâ?
-âGuarding the marriageâ refers to being selective about who you share marital details with, ensuring that the person offers constructive advice that strengthens the relationship.
Why does the speaker stress the importance of balancing different perspectives in a marriage?
-The speaker acknowledges that each partner may have different preferences for privacy and openness, and learning to understand and respect these differences helps avoid conflicts and build a stronger relationship.
Outlines
đ€« The Importance of Privacy in Marriage
April Lee discusses the value of maintaining privacy in a marriage by not sharing intimate details with outsiders, including family and friends. She emphasizes that discussing marital issues with others can create lasting negative impressions about a spouse, even after the couple has resolved their differences. Trust is built when a husband feels confident that private matters remain between the couple. While marriage counseling is encouraged, casual conversations about problems with friends are discouraged. Lee shares how this approach has helped build trust and security in her own marriage.
đ€ Respecting Differences in Openness
April Lee reflects on the personal dynamics between her and her husband, particularly in how they handle privacy and openness. While she is more private and prefers not to share personal matters, her husband tends to be more open. Over time, they have learned to respect each other's preferences. Lee advises finding a trusted confidant, someone who supports the marriage rather than pushing for divorce. She warns against seeking advice from friends who may influence one's thoughts and decisions, potentially leading the marriage in the wrong direction. Protecting the marriage through mindful sharing is key.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄSuccessful Marriage
đĄTrust
đĄPrivacy
đĄOutside Sources
đĄCommunication
đĄMarriage Counseling
đĄPrayer
đĄSupportive Relationships
đĄConflict Resolution
đĄBoundaries
Highlights
The importance of being a 'quiet woman' in marriage, maintaining the integrity of the relationship by not sharing private matters with outsiders.
Sharing marriage issues with friends, family, or others outside the union can cause preconceived notions and resentment toward your spouse.
Building trust and security in marriage involves not broadcasting intimate details, which helps husbands feel confident in their home environment.
It's important to have trusted mentors or counselors for guidance, especially couples who have been successful in marriage.
While external support is important, not every friend or family member should be privy to marriage conflicts as it can distort perspectives.
Maintaining privacy in marriage helps build confidence in the relationship, where both partners feel secure in their emotional safety.
April Lee shares that prayer and turning to God are essential methods for dealing with emotional struggles in her marriage.
Communication with one's spouse is key for resolving conflicts and addressing feelings rather than keeping issues to oneself.
Seeking professional marriage counseling or advice from experienced couples can help overcome difficult hurdles in relationships.
Lee stresses that not everyone is happy for your marriage, and friends or family may unintentionally push you in the wrong direction.
She emphasizes that finding supportive counsel, who encourages the continuation of marriage, is vital for success.
Lee explains that her husband and she have different perspectives on privacy, but theyâve learned to adjust and respect each otherâs preferences.
Overcoming personal feelings of exposure or conflict in marriage requires understanding your partnerâs perspective and adjusting expectations.
April believes in guarding the privacy of a marriage to protect it from harmful influences or advice that could derail progress.
She encourages women to be mindful of who they share marriage issues with, ensuring that advice received is constructive and aligned with the goal of strengthening the union.
Transcripts
good morning ladies it's your wife coach
April Lee and I'm going to continue the
conversation that I started yesterday
about the secrets of a successful
marriage and one of the things that I
wanted to mention but I didn't get
around to yesterday was that of being a
quiet woman a woman who keeps the
Integrity of her home and her
relationship by not sharing private
matters with outside soures when I say
outside I mean outside of your marriage
Union I'm referring to mothers I'm
referring to siblings I'm referring to
friends I'm referring to anyone that you
should go to about your marriage that is
not that is not going to encourage your
husband to be trusting okay you have to
think about in result of a matter or of
a thing of a
choice if you go and share with your
girlfriend you go and share with your
mother you go and share with your
sibling oh he did this he did that blah
blah blah after you've shareed the thing
with them they have a mindset they have
information about your husband that he's
not privy to they have this preconceived
notion they're so holding on harboring
resentful feelings because they love you
and they have outgoing concern for you
so they're hurt by whatever it is that
you've shared with them and meanwhile
you've gone back home you've settled
things you've fixed things with your
husband you've moved on and they're
still kind of stuck in that past with
that past information so that's one of
the reasons why but also for your
husband to feel like he has this place
to go to that he trusts he has this
place that he goes to that he can have
his learning experiences and it doesn't
have to be broadcast to anyone that
builds trust in the in that man that
builds his confidence in you that he can
trust that you won't share intimate and
private details with others now I'm not
saying that there is no one that you can
talk to if you two have decided to have
a counselor if you decided to have a
couple that you go to for marriage
counseling or direction or sometimes
just to get things off your chess
absolutely I'm an advocate for marriage
counseling I'm an advocate for finding
that successful couple that has been at
the game for some time and they can
guide and steer younger couples I am an
advocate for that I think that's one of
the first things that couples should do
when they get married find that couple
that has been successful that couple
that is thriving in their marriage that
they can guide and steer them that have
similar beliefs in similar ways of
approaching conflicts and situations so
I absolutely agree that you can go and
find that person but it will not be
every friend girl guess what this is
what he did blah blah blah absolutely
not and I think that that's one of the
things that have kept my husband so
secure in our marriage because he knows
that I want to utter a word of things
that transpire within our relationship
cuz I'm a very private person I don't
like for him to share certain things and
I certainly won't share certain things
and that's just how I feel about it and
so therefore he has a sense of security
he has a sense of faith and trust in me
and I think is very big to building his
confidence building his security when it
comes to his home and his life so I
think that's also a very big key to a
successful marriage and that is being
quiet learning to keep your information
and your exchanges and the various
things at home keep it within you so how
do you overcome how do you deal with
things I do lots and lots of pain I do
I'm not going to even
lie um I pray a lot um I cast my cares
on God I will go in in my prayer closet
and I will go and I'll cry and I'll do
whatever else I need to do I'll pray I
read my Bible I will do whatever it
takes to overcome my emotions and my
feelings and then get right back up I
will wipe my tears dry my face and put a
smile on and and get right back in the
game you
know so to speak so that is how I deal
with things and then if I feel that we
need further assistance you know again
communication you have to communicate
I'm go and talk to him hey you know this
is this this is how I'm feeling this is
what I'm thinking blah blah blah we need
to discuss this or you know hey I think
maybe we should go and see our advice
couple we go and see them talk to them
about what's going on and see if they
have some insight or some words of
encouragement or assistance that can
kind of push us along and get us past
this hurdle so that is addressing just
the need for people wanting to talk and
share and all those different things I'm
just not that kind of person I'm very
private I think that's my own
preferences but also I appreciate when
he is not so forthcoming he's very open
person he shares things with people all
the time and I've had to learn to accept
that aspect of him you know and he would
say to me not everything's so secretive
and you know I don't feel like it's a
secret I just feel like it's mine it's
private and I don't want you share with
anyone but so then again that's just one
of those things where you feel there's
different perspectives of a situation
where he may feel like I'm being you
know unnecessarily secretive and I feel
like he's being too open but that's just
something that's just another aspect of
your relationship that you learn to you
learn the person you learn his
preferences and he learns yours and he's
more mindful of sharing certain things
with others and I am more mindful when
he does share things I am not so upset
by it and I can you know move past it
more quickly and I feel exposed or
anything along that line so um I just
want to encourage you ladies find your
person someone that's going to
absolutely not trash your husband not
that oh yeah you need not going to push
you towards divorce but someone's that's
going to help you be more reasonable
someone's that's going to actually be in
his Corner that's actually going to
bring into your mind hey but did you
consider this did you consider that
they're going to encourage you to work
they're going to encourage you to
continue to go to move forward with your
marriage and things like that that kind
of person is the one you want to advise
you you not want someone who's going to
be quick to yeah you need to divorce him
and this and that
damn you don't need anyone like that
because again not everyone is happy for
you not everyone is happy for your
marriage not everyone is happy to see
you thriving or succeeding in your
marriage so you want to guard that
marriage with information that you share
with others and with the person that you
go to to seek counsel or advice because
trust me even if you're just sharing
information you think that oh that's
just my friend I'm just I'm just sharing
with her trust me when I say your friend
will not withhold their opinions they
will not withhold their thoughts they
will not withhold what they think you
should do about this and that or or how
you're stupid or this and that whatever
they will not withhold that so that is a
form of counseling that is a form of
advising you because it will be there
the back of your mind it will be there
and it will Propel you in a direction
that you never even considered before
just simply because they're your friends
and you're open to them you're open to
what they think what they have to say
and therefore it could push you in the
wrong direction so that's what I want to
share with you ladies today about
secrets of a successful and happy
marriage and how you can build certain
things between your husband and yourself
for that success and their security so
that's all I have to say to you for now
and remember to ask your questions and I
will give you my answers and I look
forward to seeing you in the next
video byebye now
d
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