What Makes A Person Attractive?: Attraction Broken Down
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Hwome Bukari discusses the four pillars of attraction: height, face, physique, and energy. He emphasizes that while physical attributes are important, energy, which includes body language and confidence, is the most critical and challenging to improve. Bukari shares personal anecdotes and advice on overcoming insecurities and embracing one's unique qualities to boost attractiveness. He encourages viewers to 'own it' when it comes to their perceived shortcomings, as confidence and self-acceptance are key to being perceived as attractive.
Takeaways
- 🌟 The four pillars of attraction are height, face, physique, and energy.
- 🔑 Energy is considered the most important pillar as it encompasses body language, tonality, and overall confidence.
- 🚹 For men, height can be artificially increased with the help of elevated shoes, which also boost confidence.
- 💪 Physical attributes like height, face, and physique are easier to improve compared to energy.
- 🤔 The speaker believes that anyone can become attractive within six months with the right effort, except for the energy aspect which is harder to change.
- 🧠 Overcoming limiting beliefs is crucial for improving one's energy and thus their attractiveness.
- 🌈 Embracing one's unique traits, such as ethnicity, is essential for boosting self-confidence and attractiveness.
- 👟 The speaker recommends owning any tools or methods used to improve attractiveness, like elevated shoes, without embarrassment.
- 💬 The way people treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself; hence, self-respect is key to being treated well by others.
- 📈 Consistent practice and social interaction can significantly improve one's social skills and energy.
- 🏆 Failure and practice are necessary for growth; the most successful people have failed more times than others have tried.
Q & A
What are the four pillars of attraction mentioned in the script?
-The four pillars of attraction mentioned are height, face, physique, and energy.
Why is energy considered the most important pillar of attraction?
-Energy is considered the most important because it encompasses body language, tonality, how one speaks, walks, and conveys oneself, including personality and humor. It's also the hardest to change due to self-image, nervousness, and limiting beliefs.
How can someone improve their energy in terms of attraction?
-Improving one's energy involves working on body language, speaking confidently, walking with assurance, and developing a positive self-image. It also includes overcoming limiting beliefs and nervousness.
What is the role of elevated shoes in enhancing attractiveness according to the script?
-Elevated shoes can provide extra height, which not only makes a person look more attractive but also boosts their confidence, which in turn improves their energy and overall attractiveness.
What does the speaker mean by 'own it or it owns you'?
-The speaker means that one should embrace and be confident about their attributes, whether they are perceived as weaknesses or strengths. If not embraced, these attributes can hold one back and define one's self-perception negatively.
How does the speaker suggest dealing with stereotypes or negative biases about one's ethnicity?
-The speaker suggests owning one's ethnicity and using it as a strength. He advises improving personal hygiene and appearance to change negative stereotypes and to be confident in oneself.
What is the significance of the phrase 'others treat you how you treat yourself' in the script?
-The phrase implies that the way one treats oneself influences how others perceive and treat them. It emphasizes the importance of self-respect and self-care in shaping one's social interactions.
How does the speaker describe the process of becoming more confident and attractive?
-The speaker describes a process involving hard work, social practice, and self-improvement over two years. This includes forcing oneself to socialize, speak confidently, make eye contact, and build relationships.
What analogy does the speaker use to explain the importance of practice in improving social skills?
-The speaker uses the analogy of chess players, specifically mentioning Magnus Carlson and Hikaru Nakamura, to illustrate that practice and action are key to improving at anything, including social skills.
What advice does the speaker give for someone who feels they are not attractive physically?
-The speaker advises that even if someone is not physically attractive, they can still be treated well by others if they carry themselves with confidence and positive energy.
How does the speaker define attractiveness beyond physical appearance?
-The speaker defines attractiveness beyond physical appearance by emphasizing confidence, positive energy, and the ability to carry oneself well in social situations.
Outlines
🔥 Introduction to the Four Pillars of Attraction
The speaker, Hwome Bukari, introduces the concept of the 'Four Pillars of Attraction,' which he posits as crucial for becoming a more attractive and charismatic individual. He humorously acknowledges that while these pillars may not cure cancer, they are essential for personal attraction. The pillars are described as the fundamental aspects of a human being that contribute to attractiveness. These include physical appearance, personality, and energy. The speaker emphasizes that while physical attributes are easier to define and improve, energy is complex and includes body language, tonality, and confidence. He admits that energy was the most challenging pillar for him to master and suggests that it is often the most difficult for others due to self-image and limiting beliefs.
👟 The Impact of Height and Confidence
Hwome discusses the importance of height as a physical attribute, suggesting that it can be enhanced through the use of elevated shoes to boost confidence. He shares his personal experience with these shoes, advocating for their use not just for the physical height increase but for the psychological boost they provide. He encourages viewers to embrace such tools without embarrassment, using the phrase 'own it or it owns you' as a mantra for self-acceptance and confidence. Hwome extends this advice to other aspects of identity, such as race and ethnicity, urging individuals to take pride in their unique characteristics and not let societal stereotypes define their self-worth.
💪 The Power of Physical Attraction and Energy
The speaker elaborates on how physical attributes like height, facial features, and physique contribute to attractiveness but are secondary to the power of energy. He asserts that even with the best looks, without the right energy, one cannot be truly attractive. Hwome explains that people's initial perceptions are based on appearance, but their lasting impressions are shaped by a person's energy. He stresses the importance of self-belief in attractiveness, suggesting that confidence can make a significant difference in how others perceive one's attractiveness. The speaker also touches on the idea that if one is not someone's physical type, self-confidence can still command respect, even if it doesn't lead to attraction.
🌟 Overcoming Obstacles and Embracing Personal Growth
Hwome shares his personal journey of self-improvement, focusing on developing his social skills and energy despite not having the genetic advantages. He talks about the hard work and practice involved in becoming more confident and socially adept, including forcing himself to engage in conversations and practice social cues. He emphasizes the importance of treating oneself with respect to be treated well by others and encourages continuous practice and self-improvement. The speaker concludes by inviting viewers to join his community for further support and ends the video on a positive note, highlighting the transformative power of self-belief and action.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Attraction
💡Four Pillars of Attraction
💡Energy
💡Body Language
💡Confidence
💡Physical Appearance
💡Height
💡Personality
💡Stereotypes
💡Self-Improvement
Highlights
The four pillars of Attraction are crucial for becoming a more attractive, charismatic person.
Attraction is primarily between human beings and is based on a few key components.
The four pillars include physical appearance, personality, and energy.
Physical appearance is divided into height, face, and physique.
Energy encompasses body language, tonality, and overall presence.
Energy is the most important and challenging pillar to improve.
Improving energy can significantly change how others perceive you.
The presenter claims they can make anyone attractive in six months with the right circumstances.
For height, the presenter recommends wearing elevated shoes to boost confidence.
Confidence gained from wearing elevated shoes can improve one's energy.
The presenter encourages owning one's appearance and not being embarrassed by it.
Embracing one's ethnicity or background can add to one's uniqueness and attractiveness.
The presenter shares personal experiences with self-consciousness and how to overcome it.
The concept of 'own it or it owns you' is introduced as a way to turn weaknesses into strengths.
Physical appearance is important, but energy is what shapes others' perception of you.
If you believe you're attractive, others are more likely to find you attractive.
The presenter emphasizes the importance of treating oneself well to be treated well by others.
The presenter shares personal stories of social anxiety and how to overcome it.
Practice and action are key to improving social skills and energy.
The presenter offers resources and a community for those seeking to improve their attractiveness.
Transcripts
hello everyone hwome bukari here today
and today's video topic is why the four
pillars of Attraction are actually the
most important things in the universe
now maybe not in the entire universe
maybe like uh you know cancer curing
things are better but when it comes to
attraction becoming a hotter more
attractive charismatic guy man which is
what you want to become if you're
watching this video I would assume then
you need to focus on the four pillars of
Attraction I have made these I have made
this up this is my idea if I could brand
it and take it and [ __ ] pattern it I
would but I can't or I don't know how to
the best way to describe the four
pillars
are it is basically what makes up a
human being makes up what attractive is
right because the attraction is between
two human beings unless you're into
beastiality but between human beings
there's only a couple things that
literally makes up who you are and the
four pillars basically breaks that down
it is your look it is basically your
physical like body and it is your
personality the soul inside of you so
let me tell you what the four pillars
are it's not energy I mean [ __ ] so let
me tell you what the four pillars are
that is your height your face your
physique and your energy
three of these are your
physical and one of them is your energy
that is all of you
inside your energy also is your body
language your tonality and how you speak
do you speak in a confident manner do
you speak in a shy
manner it is how you walk it is how you
convey yourself your personality your
humor everything like that that is in
your energy the other three things are
your looks your physical being is very
easy to be break down energy is very
hard to break down there's a lot of
different components and that's why I
leave it as energy it's a very big
pillar and it's the most important
pillar um it's it's also the hardest
pillar for most guys um especially it
was the hardest pillar for me I I I can
make any the thing is you can you I can
basically make anyone attractive in six
months I can make anyone attractive
given you know circum certain
circumstances I can make anyone
attractive in six months that is very
hard to do with the energy portion
because some people just have such bad
images about themselves they just have
such nervousness about themselves they
just have such limiting beliefs meaning
they do not think certain ways I
think there are I think I think like
this I find that girl cute I need I want
to go talk to her to to find out if
she's cool or if she likes
me that thought that thought does not
even cross some guys guy some guy's mind
all they think is oh my God that girl is
hot as [ __ ] um I can never get a girl
like her way out of my
league even though those guys are
probably more attractive than me they're
missing the energy attribute that's why
it's so
important now the physical is broken
down into to three components your
height your looks on your face your face
looks and your physique your
body for a guy height is basically
[Music]
um hard to change there are shoes you
can get that gives you an extra two
inches those are called elevated
shoes I'm I'm looking if I have mine
around those are [ __ ] amazing if
you're like 5'6 and you want to be 5'9
wear those shoes right if you're going
out to a club and you're just going to
be out there for like 4 hours or like 2
hours or you're just going out for the
night wear those [ __ ] shoes they will
give you an extra two to three inches
and make you look taller that will make
you look not only will it make you look
more attractive the thing is it'll make
you look a bit more attractive a bit
more attractive a
bit but the main thing is the confidence
you would get you will get from wearing
them the thing is like I when you wear
those shoes and you just you're just
three inches taller it's just like damn
you just feel more confident and from
that your energy right raises that is
why I recommend them so much not because
of the actual height that you get on
them but because of the energy you get
on them because of the energy you get on
them and now event after you wear them
so much the energy will actually stay
the same you will raise a bit raise a
bit but it will stay the same
even when you take them off you should
remember how you feel with them on and
your energy should still be a bit higher
you objectively should have a higher
energy after having those if anyone
calls you out on it you have to own
it you see what that thing says right
there I don't know if it's backwards but
that says own it or it owns
you the reason I'm telling you about
these shoes and I'm so not afraid
of of telling you or embarrassed of
telling you that I have these shoes I
have two pairs of those shoes and
they're [ __ ] awesome both of them
these elevated shoes that give me an
extra two Ines two to three inches and
make me taller even though I'm not that
tall yes I wear those shoes and I love
them is because I believe in that I
believe in that strongly that it helps
you that is why I'm able to tell you
with without feeling embarrassed about
about having myself so many of you guys
will feel embarrassed about wearing them
if you ever get called out on them you
will feel extremely embarrassed and you
will shut down the best thing you could
do in that
situation the best thing you could do is
own it or it owns you yeah I wear the
shoes they make me feel hotter so
what what are people going to say after
that the [ __ ] girl wear makeup do you
look like that no but it makes them feel
hotter so what you have to [ __ ] own
it or it owns you that goes for anything
in your life that that you feel is
holding you back own it or it owns
you um a big thing I hear from guys is I
can't I'm Asian I'm Brown I'm this I'm
that no you're a [ __ ] own it or it owns
you I
personally before a while ago was
self-conscious about my
skin no girl would like a brown
skinn Pakistani man right everyone from
my uh Indian culture is hated upon in
North America because they're an
infestation and parasite okay but guess
what I'm not why cuz I am me I'm
different and I bring actually something
um valuable I believe in myself that I'm
valuable I still think that a lot of
other brown people are very not hygienic
good-look I believe that is a stereotype
for a
reason if they worked on that The
Stereotype would change but they don't
that's their problem I have worked on
myself I feel confident in myself there
is so many brown people Asian people
black
people that work on themselves look good
themselves yet still have that negative
bias because of other people what the
[ __ ] you're not those people own it
you're your own self right and then when
I am good looking I feel right I like
that that is a me thing I feel that I am
able to act more confidently I'm able to
just be myself my energy is just boom
boom boom higher
but I'm not I'm owning it I'm not
letting it own me I'm owning it I am
Brown that makes me hter it makes me
different than the [ __ ] average
person it adds to my flare to my
uniquity it gives me different
perspectives about the world it gives me
like right it adds to me it adds to
me I'm black that adds to me I'm Asian
that adds to me it this [ __ ] is
different the uniqueness is you make
you've heard this since you're a
kid but they haven't told you it it was
just very hard because they didn't tell
you like the specifics you have to use
it in I'm telling you the
specifics you feel bad about something
you feel embarrassed about something
that you're doing or that you are or
that you like or you can't
change and it drags you down own it or
it owns you I have it written on my wall
own it or it owns you
once you start using your weaknesses as
strengths that that is like the truest
form of confidence that is the truest
form of just like
openness you can't judge people at that
point you're not you can't like you you
don't judge you're not afraid of being
judged you're okay with yourself you're
making your weaknesses your strengths
you're okay with yourself
the looks the height and the physique
huge huge you can improve these and you
can keep getting more and more and more
and more more attractive if you have all
these thre these three three things
maxed
out height say you're like 6'4 best
looking person in the world and you have
the physique of like a [ __ ] Greek
scat statue
you can get any girl you want in the
world but you won't because you don't
have the energy if you with all those
looks still acted like a [ __ ] like a
[ __ ] made man people would trade you
like treat you like a [ __ ] made
man not at first they would give you a
lot of leeway if you look like a [ __ ]
made man people would treat you like a
[ __ ] made man at first but if you look
like a Greek god people are going to
treat you like a Greek god until proven
otherwise people are are going to treat
you how you look until proven otherwise
I'm going to say that again people are
going to treat you how you look
look until proven
otherwise and you prove them otherwise
with your
energy so your looks are the first step
in the door they're first look anyone's
first look at you but the energy is
everything after it and that compl
completely
shapes someone's perception about you
whether they think you're attractive or
not attractive because it comes from you
all in all if you believe you're
attractive people will find you more
attractive now if you're not someone's
type like you're physically not
someone's type and you find yourself
attractive they will respect that they
will be like okay fair enough you find
yourself attractive you're just not my
type personally
right at that point you just move on
there's not there's not nothing you can
do
right there's nothing you could do if
you already have maxed out your looks
your Heights your face your physique
your
height as to someone still doesn't find
you
attractive that's a good thing that's a
good thing there are billions of women
in this world there are billions of guys
in this world there are billions of
people in this world if one [ __ ]
person does not find you attractive that
means you can move on to the rest
don't get hung
up your energy
is the biggest
thing once your looks are
good so if you're com if you're very
overweight you're very
fat you're very unattractive physically
you're [ __ ] horribly disgusting to
look at
sorry it's going to be very hard for
people to give you
leeway on that because you've treated
yourself so like honestly your whole
life you have treated yourself like [ __ ]
so they're going to treat you like [ __ ]
right that's what you've asked for you
treat people how you treat yourself
others treat you how you treat yourself
others treat you how you treat yourself
damn I should write that down too others
treat you like you treat yourself [ __ ]
I'm gonna write that down after that's
good that's good that's going in the
Discord chat that's going in the
chat um
but you guys need
to you need to treat
yourself like you are a person of worth
for people to treat you like a person of
worth I did not
have Role Models or people to look up to
like that and so for most of my life I
treat myself
how how like like like [ __ ] man I
treated myself like [ __ ] like not very
good I treated my body poorly I treated
my mind
poorly and for that other people treated
me the same way I got bad reactions
negative reactions and and when I mean
reactions I don't mean like people were
walking down the street and they just no
no I mean like like people I always
could feel like people thought I was
weird and I always thought I was weird
but then I started practicing I started
getting better at socializing and then I
said oh I'm not weird I just wasn't
doing certain things I was just really
scared of speaking but now I can speak
and I'm not weird anymore I'm actually
very confident I'm a very cool guy and
now how do people treat me like a
confident cool guy and I love it I love
it you don't understand how much I love
that it's so awesome it's really good
dude like like just imagine just being
cool and confident and hot like life is
just so much easier for me I personally
love it but I wasn't there to begin with
and I didn't have the genetics the
genetics to get there I put in hard work
I put in two years of hard work pushing
myself to get the energy I needed like I
went to
[ __ ] I would go out talk to random
people start have random conversations
at my job I would literally force myself
to talk have conversations every single
day
I would force myself to make eye contact
I would force myself to speak in a
deeper voice I would force myself to
speak in a deeper louder louder is the
main thing louder
voice I would teach myself how to uh
make compliments or remarks or
statements I would teach myself how
to uh laugh with someone and put my hand
on their shoulder to
commodate them to build a relationship
you know a deeper relationship ask
people I taught myself had to ask people
questions how to navigate a conversation
and I've done it so many times I failed
a lot of times but I've won a couple
times and now I'm super [ __ ]
confident the winner has failed more
times than the failure has
tried true true true I play a lot of
chess the best chess player in the world
Magnus Carlson the best Blitz player in
the world hakaru Nakamura plays thous
like hundreds of chess games in a week
hundreds of chess games in a
week no one is catching up to that level
are you going how can you say you're bad
at social skills but you're not
practicing a 100 times a week you're not
talking to a 100 different people a
week right the the the main thing behind
everything is just [ __ ] action and
putting the input to get the
output anyways boys my name has been H
markari for the my entire life uh
Discord in the description if you need
more uh detailed questions about
anything going on in your life if you
want a community of people uh
like-minded guys around us and peace out
boys I hope you have a good one
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