How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves You | Femi Ogunjinmi | TEDxXavierUniversity

Summary

In this engaging talk, a relationship coach shares personal stories and client experiences to explore the complexities of love. He discusses various forms of love—like eros, philia, and agape—and how true love, driven by passion and sacrifice, is the key to sustaining relationships. Through humorous anecdotes and real-life examples, the speaker highlights the importance of actions over words in love, emphasizing that genuine love requires commitment, sacrifice, and emotional focus. He concludes by encouraging individuals to cultivate true love in their relationships for long-lasting happiness.

Takeaways

• 💔 Love is not always enough to sustain a relationship, as it may be unbacked by the right actions.
• 🔍 Cheating is a clear sign that one's actions do not align with their professed love, suggesting a lack of true commitment.
• 🤔 The complexity of love is highlighted by the fact that people can claim to love someone while engaging in behaviors that harm the relationship.
• 📊 High divorce rates indicate that love alone does not guarantee the longevity of a marriage or relationship.
• 💬 The speaker suggests that love can decline or be overshadowed by other factors, leading to the breakdown of a relationship.
• ❤️ True love, or agape love as described in the Bible, is characterized by passion and sacrifice, which are essential for maintaining a relationship.
• 🍰 The concept of sacrifice in love is exemplified by the willingness to give up something of value for the sake of the relationship.
• 🎓 The speaker's personal story illustrates the power of true love to inspire significant life changes and sacrifices.
• 📚 The book 'Revelations of Relationship' is offered as a guide to understanding and nurturing true love in relationships.
• 🍻 The narrative of the speaker's past lifestyle and the decision to change for love underscores the transformative power of true love.

Q & A

What is the main issue the relationship coach addresses with her clients?

The relationship coach primarily addresses issues of love, commitment, and fidelity, such as clients being in unfulfilling relationships, dealing with infidelity, and seeking advice on whether to continue or end their relationships.

How does the coach interpret the phrase 'at least four times' when a client mentions it regarding her boyfriend's infidelity?

The coach interprets the phrase 'at least four times' by suggesting that it should be doubled to 'at least eight times', implying that the actual number of infidelities is likely higher than what the client is aware of or willing to admit.

What is the coach's view on love and actions in a relationship?

The coach believes that true love should be backed by appropriate actions. If someone truly loves another, they would not engage in behaviors that harm the relationship, such as cheating.

According to the script, what are the three possible reasons for a breakup related to love?

The three possible reasons for a breakup related to love are: 1) There was no love at the beginning of the relationship; 2) Something bigger than love broke the relationship; 3) The love declined over time.

What does the coach suggest about the possibility of loving two people at the same time?

The coach questions the possibility of loving two people at the same time by asking the client to consider how his girlfriend would feel if she knew about his affair, implying that true love does not involve cheating on one person with another.

What is the significance of the statistic mentioned about divorce rates in the script?

The statistic about divorce rates is significant because it highlights the discrepancy between the importance people place on love when getting married and the reality that love alone does not guarantee the success of a marriage.

What types of love are mentioned in the script, and how do they differ?

The script mentions several types of love: philia (brotherly love), eros (sexual love), and agape (true love). Philia is the love shared among family, friends, or colleagues. Eros is a passionate, sexual type of love often associated with physical attraction. Agape, or true love, is a selfless, sacrificial love that can sustain a relationship.

How does the coach define true love?

True love, as defined by the coach, is a passionate love that combines the force of passion with the emotion of love. It is a love that is willing to make sacrifices and is capable of sustaining a long-term relationship.

What personal example does the coach share to illustrate the concept of true love and sacrifice?

The coach shares a personal story about giving up his party lifestyle and停止与女性交往 to be with the woman he truly loved. He had to make a significant sacrifice to maintain the relationship, which eventually led to marriage and a family.

What advice does the coach give regarding finding and maintaining a relationship based on true love?

The coach advises finding and practicing true love in relationships, which involves making sacrifices, ending harmful behaviors, and seeking counseling to acquire tools and knowledge for a healthy relationship.

What is the title of the book written by the coach, and what is its main focus?

The title of the book is 'Revelations of Relationship - What you don't know about finding true love and sustaining a relationship.' The main focus of the book is to provide insights and guidance on how to find and maintain a relationship based on true love.