The Truth Behind Why Trying Harder Doesn’t Work (When You Have ADHD)
Summary
TLDRIn this episode sponsored by Sama, the discussion focuses on the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to succeed. The video debunks this notion, explaining that effort is often not the issue. Instead, it's the underlying executive function challenges and time management difficulties that hinder progress. The speaker advocates for sustainable productivity and support, like Sama's planning app, which helps manage tasks and prevent burnout. The video also addresses the unsustainability of constant high effort and suggests exploring alternative strategies before resorting to trying harder.
Takeaways
- 🤔 The common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' is often not helpful and can be discouraging.
- 💪 Many individuals with ADHD are already exerting significant effort, and telling them to try harder can be demotivating.
- 🚫 Simply trying harder does not address the underlying issues that contribute to ADHD-related struggles, such as executive function challenges and time management difficulties.
- 🛠️ Tools and strategies, like the Sama app, can be more effective in helping individuals with ADHD manage their time and tasks more effectively.
- 📈 The idea of trying harder is not sustainable in the long term and can lead to burnout and increased inconsistency in performance.
- 🔄 The pressure to constantly try harder can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and lead to emotional dysregulation.
- 🔄 It's important to consider whether the effort being put in is sustainable and flexible, especially given the varying energy levels experienced by those with ADHD.
- 📉 Pushing oneself too hard can set unrealistic expectations for future performance, leading to a cycle of increased pressure and potential failure.
- 🔑 Recognizing the effort already being made is crucial, and self-compassion can be a powerful tool for improvement.
- 📋 Before resorting to trying harder, explore other options such as using tools, seeking support, or finding ways to make tasks more engaging.
Q & A
What is the main issue discussed in the script regarding ADHD?
-The script discusses the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to improve their performance, and why this approach is not effective or sustainable.
Why might telling someone with ADHD to 'try harder' be discouraging?
-Telling someone with ADHD to 'try harder' can be discouraging because it fails to recognize the effort they are already putting in, and can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they are already exerting significant effort.
What is the first reason given in the script for why 'trying harder' is not the solution for ADHD?
-The first reason is that effort is not the problem; people with ADHD are often already trying harder than their neurotypical peers.
How does 'trying harder' relate to the underlying issues faced by individuals with ADHD?
-'Trying harder' does not address the underlying executive function challenges, time management difficulties, and impulsivity that contribute to the struggles faced by individuals with ADHD.
What is the role of Sama in helping individuals with ADHD, as mentioned in the script?
-Sama is an app that helps individuals with ADHD plan their week more smoothly, manage tasks, prevent burnout, and improve productivity by providing a centralized hub for tasks and planning.
Why is 'trying harder' not sustainable for people with ADHD?
-'Trying harder' is not sustainable because it can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult to maintain the same level of effort over time, and can exacerbate other ADHD symptoms.
What is the script's suggestion for a more effective approach than 'trying harder'?
-The script suggests translating 'try harder' into actionable strategies, using tools, seeking support, and considering accommodations before considering putting in more effort.
How does the script describe the impact of consistently high effort on future performance?
-The script describes that consistently high effort can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult to maintain the same level of performance in the future, and can lead to inconsistency in performance.
What is the script's stance on the idea of setting high bars for oneself when dealing with ADHD?
-The script cautions against setting high bars for oneself because it can be difficult to clear those bars consistently, leading to increased pressure and potential exacerbation of ADHD symptoms.
What is the alternative to 'trying harder' that the script suggests for individuals with ADHD?
-The script suggests trying different strategies, tools, and support systems before resorting to 'trying harder', focusing on sustainable and flexible productivity.
How does the script encourage individuals with ADHD to approach their goals?
-The script encourages individuals with ADHD to approach their goals by recognizing the effort already being put in, seeking support, and considering sustainable and flexible strategies for improvement.
Outlines
🤔 The Pitfall of 'Trying Harder' for ADHD
The video script discusses the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to achieve their goals. The speaker, who has ADHD, explains that this advice is not only unhelpful but also potentially harmful. They argue that individuals with ADHD often already exert more effort than their neurotypical peers, and being told to try harder can be discouraging as it fails to acknowledge the existing effort. The speaker emphasizes that the real issue is not a lack of effort but rather the unique challenges faced by those with ADHD, such as executive function difficulties and time management issues, which cannot be overcome by simply trying harder. The video also introduces Sama, an app designed to help with planning and organization, as a tool that can be more beneficial than simply trying harder.
🔄 The Unsustainability of Excessive Effort for ADHD
In the second paragraph, the speaker delves into the sustainability of effort for individuals with ADHD. They explain that pushing oneself too hard can lead to exhaustion and inconsistency in performance, which is already a common struggle for those with ADHD. The speaker points out that setting a high bar through intense effort can make it difficult to meet that standard consistently, leading to a cycle of high pressure and potential burnout. They also discuss how excessive effort can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, such as emotional dysregulation, leading to a collapse under pressure. The speaker suggests that instead of trying harder, it's more beneficial to find strategies, tools, or support that can help manage ADHD symptoms effectively. They encourage viewers to consider other approaches before resorting to trying harder and to recognize the effort they are already putting in.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡ADHD
💡Try Harder
💡Effort
💡Neurotypical
💡Time Blindness
💡Impulsivity
💡Executive Function
💡Productivity
💡Sustainability
💡Sama
💡Burnout
Highlights
The common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' is challenged as it may not address the actual challenges faced.
Individuals with ADHD are often already exerting more effort than neurotypical peers, contrary to the assumption that they are not trying hard enough.
The suggestion to 'try harder' can be discouraging as it fails to acknowledge the existing efforts made by those with ADHD.
The underlying reasons for struggles in ADHD are not addressed by simply trying harder, such as time blindness and impulsivity.
Executive function challenges and time management difficulties are not overcome by increased effort alone.
Trying harder is not always actionable, as the specific areas needing improvement are not clearly defined.
The importance of planning and using tools like Sama to manage tasks and time effectively for individuals with ADHD.
Sama's role in helping to plan weeks smoothly and preventing burnout by encouraging realistic task management.
The sustainability of effort is questioned, as increased effort today may lead to exhaustion and decreased performance tomorrow.
The pressure to maintain high levels of effort can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and lead to emotional dysregulation.
The idea of 'borrowing' from future effort can lead to a cycle of exhaustion and increased symptoms.
Strategies for improvement should focus on recognizing existing efforts and finding alternative solutions before resorting to trying harder.
The video encourages viewers to consider sustainable and flexible approaches to productivity rather than short-term bursts of effort.
The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to share their strategies for improvement that do not rely on trying harder.
The importance of community and support is highlighted through the mention of the Patreon and Discord community.
Transcripts
this episode is sponsored by Sama stick
around to learn more about it hello
brains why does trying harder not work
for people with ADHD let's talk about
[Music]
it this is one of those things that I
have heard so many times as somebody
with ADHD and heard again and again from
my community is what they're hearing as
well which is so much potential needs to
try harder a lot of us have heard that
we need to try harder so many times that
we've really internalized it and it
becomes our go-to solution if we're not
performing at the level that want to
perform or the level that we know we can
sometimes perform at we feel like we
need to put in more effort we need to
try harder or it's almost more Insidious
cousin do more in this video I'm going
to talk about why that's actually a
really bad idea for people with ADHD
three reasons one effort is not the
problem a lot of the time we are
actually trying harder than our
neurotypical peers somebody might think
that they would succeed or they would do
better if they were putting in the
effort they're not doing better
therefore they must not be putting in
the effort and that's OD Logic the only
time I can think of that somebody with
ADHD was not trying really hard is when
they had gotten so discouraged they
given up guess what being told to try
harder does if you're already putting in
a ton of effort being told to try harder
is quite discouraging actually because
it doesn't recognize or appreciate the
effort that you're already putting in
trying harder is not the solution if
effort is not the problem if you're
already trying your best trying harder
is probably not going to accomplish what
you might be hoping it will accomplish
which brings us to number two trying
harder doesn't address the underlying
reasons why we're struggling a lot of
the time the reason why we are not
accomplishing what it is that we're
trying to accomplish isn't that we're
not trying it's that we have struggles
that neurotypical people don't have if I
try harder to manage my time that
doesn't change the fact that I
experience time blindness it does not
change the fact that I am impulsive and
get distracted from what I what it was I
was supposed to be working on it doesn't
matter how hard I try I'm not
necessarily going to be able to manage
my time through sheer effort alone
because that doesn't at all address the
underlying executive function challenges
and time management difficulties and
impulsivity that are contributing to the
problem so even if even in the case
where I'm not trying super hard at
managing my schedule probably because
I've given up on doing that um effort is
not necessarily going to
help because it doesn't address these
issues a lot of the time trying harder
is not even an actionable thing
sometimes we can try harder but like
what is there to try harder at in that
case because these messages are so
internalized if we're not being as
productive as we would like to be it's
really easy for us to be like I just
need to do better I just need to try
harder but how how do we do that a lot
of the time we do get these messages
that we need to be putting in more
effort when most of the time what we
really need is more support trying
harder does not work you got to try
different Sama knows that and Sama helps
you try different Sama has been
incredibly important to me when I use
Sama to plan my week it goes so much
more smoothly it is one of those apps
that's truly gamechanging for people
with ADHD there's so many things that we
struggle with in regard to productivity
time management planning prioritizing
not burning out getting overwhelmed it
helps me plan my day make sure that my
team can see what is on my plate there
is one Hub there's one place where you
can pull in your task all the things
that you need to be doing through email
assana Google Calendar whatever then you
can take a look at it and be like that's
not realistic Sama will encourage you to
bump tasks back anything that can wait
so that you can have a reasonable
workday you can set times for like how
long you think these tasks are going to
take you and it will tell you how long
the task actually took planning your
week is a tool that is very
underestimated in the ADHD community and
I keep thinking but I don't have time to
plan my week I have too much to do and
so a lot of the time we need a tool that
can help us do that it's about helping
you be sustainably productive it's about
helping you prevent burnout also Sama is
so ADHD friendly they have a trial
period that doesn't require a credit
card up front so you can decide whether
or not you want to be charged for it
after you've tried it out if you'd like
to check it out go to s.com ajessica
from how to ADHD it's a long link we'll
also put it in the description below so
please let me know what you think of it
and what you're working on what what are
your goals this week what do you want to
accomplish and let me know how that
works for you
and the third reason why trying harder
is not the best solution for those with
ADHD it's not sustainable let's say you
had more effort to give you could try
harder and let's say trying harder helps
you do better let's say it actually
works right you put in a bunch of extra
effort and your outcome is far superior
to what it would have been if you hadn't
tried that hard I'm either going to take
a level of exhaustion today because I'm
pushing myself so hard today that I'm
going to have a harder time tomorrow
which means this level of effort is not
sustainable I not going to have as much
energy to give tomorrow and also this
level of output is not sustainable
because I'm not going to be able to give
as much tomorrow I'm not going to be
able to try as hard tomorrow as you add
more to your life you get a new job you
get a promotion you have a kid now that
same level of effort isn't sustainable
if we put a ton of extra energy into
what we're doing today we might not have
as much to give tomorrow it further adds
to the inconsistency that those with
ADHD already experience of us having
really good brain days and really bad
brain days and sometimes we can't and
sometimes we can't another problem is
that if we try really hard and push
really hard on a project the bar that
we've set for ourselves is now really
difficult for us to clear the next time
and we're not necessarily thinking about
like can we do this consistently we're
thinking well I was able to do it before
so I should be able to do it again so
one of the things that I try to think
about now is not only can I do it but
can I do it either sustainably or
flexibly is it okay that sometimes I'm
going to be able to to do a lot in short
bursts and then I'm going to need some
time to to recharge because we are
putting in more effort than we really
have to give we're borrowing from
ourselves from our future selves like
we're taking levels of exhaustion and
eventually that's going to catch up with
us and the pressure we put on ourselves
can exacerbate other adhc symptoms if we
are gripping so tightly it doesn't take
a lot to push us over the edge and we
are already dealing with emotion
disregulation challenges it becomes this
situation where like eventually like we
can't hold it together anymore and we
are more likely to explode we're more
likely to collapse we're more likely to
not be able to hold it together anymore
because we've been pushing ourselves so
hard for so long so what's the brain to
do I think first of all translating
translating try harder into what we
really mean when we are asking of
ourselves to try harder or somebody's
telling us we need to try harder which
is do better and then go okay what would
help me do better recognize the effort
that's already being put in sometimes
that alone is encouraging and will help
us do better if we're constant down on
ourselves for not doing more then it's
really easy to get discouraged and to
want to give up entirely and then effort
is definitely not the problem well now
it is the problem cuz now we're not
trying at all cuz we've given up make a
list of what we can do before we try
harder and put try harder not at the top
of that list not as the only thing on
that list but at the very bottom so that
we go through other things that might
help first so that we try different
before we try harder is there a tool I
can use is there a strategy I can use is
there an accommodation I can ask for is
there support that I can get is there
accountability that I need can I make
this more interesting to my brain
somehow is there a way that I can do
better without putting in more effort
and only if there is no other way to do
it should I even consider putting in
more effort I hope you find this helpful
this is one of those videos that I'm
definitely making for me and putting it
out there in case it's helpful for
anybody else I definitely fall into the
Trap of trying harder doing more all of
the time in case you couldn't tell let
me know in the comments below what your
maybe go-to top of your list strategy is
for doing better other than trying
harder thank you to my brain Advocates
and all my patreon brains for inspiring
content like this like subscribe click
all the things and I will see you next
video bye brains did you know we have a
Discord Community through patreon when
you support the work we do on how to
ADHD you get access to a global
supportive community and other patreon
perks
if you'd like to join us go to
patreon.com howto ADHD
[Music]
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