'We can Fix it' Manoj Vasudevan, 3rd place Toastmasters 2015
Summary
TLDRMano, a 24-year-old from India, humorously recounts his journey to find love. Despite initial success in marriage, he and his wife faced numerous compatibility issues. After seeking advice and reading relationship books to no avail, his mother's wisdom taught him the importance of compromise and flexibility in a relationship. By applying these lessons, Mano and his wife transformed their marriage, celebrating 17 years together with two children, proving that love requires give and take.
Takeaways
- 😀 Mano was 24 years old, living a comfortable life in India but lacked a romantic partner.
- 💘 His mother offered to help him find a wife, showcasing the cultural practice of arranged marriages.
- 🎉 Mano married a woman who seemed perfect on the surface, but they had many differences that led to conflicts.
- 📚 Despite reading numerous books on relationships, Mano found that they did not provide a solution to his marital issues.
- 🤔 A friend's advice to separate made Mano reconsider his approach to resolving relationship problems.
- 👵 His mother's wisdom emphasized the importance of compromise and flexibility in a relationship, likening it to the partnership of a bow and string.
- 💡 Mano learned that relationships require both partners to bend and adjust, rather than expecting perfection from each other.
- 👨👩👧👦 He and his wife have now been married for 17 years, with two children, illustrating the success of their adjusted approach.
- 🤝 Mano's story highlights the importance of continuous effort and mutual understanding in maintaining a healthy relationship.
- 🌟 The message encourages others to 'pull less and bend more' in their relationships for a better chance at success.
Q & A
How old was Mano when he was living in India with a nice job and car?
-Mano was 24 years old when he was living in India with a nice job and car.
What was Mano's mother's initial response when he expressed his desire to get married?
-Mano's mother responded with 'No problem, we can fix it,' indicating her willingness to help him find a wife.
What did Mano's mother do to help him find a potential bride?
-Mano's mother picked up the phone and started calling her friends to look for potential brides for him.
How did Mano describe the first woman he was arranged to meet?
-Mano described the first woman as looking like a movie star from Bollywood and that she looked at him like he was George Clooney.
On what date did Mano get married, and what is the significance of that date?
-Mano got married on July 4th, which is America's Independence Day. He humorously noted that he lost his independence on that day.
What were some of the differences between Mano and his wife that caused problems in their relationship?
-Mano and his wife had differences such as her liking the outdoors and him preferring indoors, her loving swimming while he feared drowning, and her cooking versus his preference for his mother's cooking.
What advice did Mano's friend Jay give him regarding his marriage?
-Jay advised Mano that life is short and not to suffer, suggesting that he should separate if he was unhappy in his marriage.
What was Mano's mother's advice on maintaining a successful relationship?
-Mano's mother advised that no partner is 100% perfect and that the key to a successful relationship is the willingness to bend more, adjust, adapt, and accept each other.
How did Mano change his approach to his relationship after his mother's advice?
-After his mother's advice, Mano started to bend more by joining his wife in her activities, such as going outdoors and swimming, and he noticed that she became nicer in response.
How long have Mano and his wife been married, and do they still have conflicts?
-Mano and his wife have been married for 17 years, and they still have conflicts, but they handle them by holding hands even during disagreements.
What is the main message Mano shared about relationships based on his experience?
-Mano shared that the main message about relationships is to 'pull less and bend more,' meaning to be more flexible and accommodating in a relationship to make it work.
Outlines
😀 Love and Marriage in India
Mano, a 24-year-old from India, had a good job, car, and lifestyle but was struggling to find a girlfriend. His relationships always started with high hopes but ended in disappointment. Seeking help, he turned to his mother who confidently offered to find him a bride. She quickly arranged for him to meet a beautiful woman who seemed like a Bollywood star. Mano was smitten and imagined a perfect life with her. They married on July 4th, but soon after, he realized his wife had a fiery temper, much like his own. Their differences led to conflicts, and despite trying logic, emotion, and role models, they grew apart. Mano's efforts to fix the relationship by reading books on relationships proved futile, and he eventually sought advice from a friend who had recently divorced, suggesting separation might be the answer.
💡 The Wisdom of Cupid's Bow and String
After seeking his mother's advice again, Mano learned a valuable lesson about relationships. His mother explained that no partner is perfect, and the key to maintaining love is not Cupid's arrow but the bow and string. She used the metaphor of the bow bending for the string to illustrate the importance of compromise and flexibility in a relationship. The more one partner pulls (demands), the more the other must bend (compromise). If both partners are willing to pull less and bend more, the relationship can thrive. Mano took this wisdom to heart, changed his approach, and began to enjoy outdoor activities and swimming with his wife. This led to improvements in their relationship, and they celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary with two children. Mano concluded by sharing that even with imperfections and occasional fights, holding hands through it all is the essence of a strong partnership.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Fix
💡Relationship
💡Cupid
💡Independence
💡Bend
💡Ego
💡Compromise
💡Adjust
💡Acceptance
💡Partnership
💡Problems
Highlights
Mano was 24 years old, living in India with a nice job and car but no girlfriend.
Every relationship Mano had started with high hopes but ended in disappointment.
Mano's mother offered to help him find a wife, showcasing the cultural practice of arranged marriages.
The first meeting with a potential bride was described with humor and high expectations.
Mano married the first woman he met, emphasizing the quick decision-making in arranged marriages.
The marriage took place on July 4th, adding a humorous twist with America's Independence Day.
After marriage, Mano discovered his wife's hot temper, which mirrored his own.
Mano and his wife had significant differences in lifestyle and preferences.
Despite using logic and emotion, Mano struggled to resolve the couple's issues.
Mano's friend Jay suggested separation as a solution, which Mano disagreed with.
Mano's mother provided wise advice on the nature of relationships and the importance of compromise.
The metaphor of Cupid's bow and string was used to explain the dynamics of a successful partnership.
Mano realized the need to adjust, accept, and compromise in relationships.
Changes in Mano's behavior led to improvements in his marriage and a happier family life.
Mano and his wife celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary, showing the longevity of their relationship.
Mano concluded with advice to 'pull less and bend more' in relationships for a better outcome.
Transcripts
our next contestant Mano wasan we can
fix
[Applause]
[Music]
it we can fix it Mano wasad
[Applause]
Devan I was 24 years old living in India
India I had a nice job nice car
nice
hair still no girlfriend like
[Applause]
naha every relationship started with
great
expectations and ended in Great
Depression have you had problems in your
relationships how did you fix
it contest chair ladies and gentlemen
when I was 24 I was still waiting for
Cupid to shoot the arrow and find me the
perfect
partner guess what it seems Cupid
doesn't live in India
soon I went to the one woman I trust my
mama there she was sitting on the floor
doing
yoga mama I want a
wife she said no problem we can fix
it ladies and gentlemen did you hear
what my mama said she said we
can that's right my mother was offering
to find a bride for me she immediately
picked up the phone started calling all
her friends looking for potential
Brides soon Arrangements were made for
my meeting with the first
prospect there she was wow she looked
like a movie star from
Bollywood she looked at me like I was
George Clooney
didn't they say I have nice
hair I imagined spending the rest of my
life holding her hand listening to music
and doing hot
yoga Cupid has shot the
arrow and we fell in
love 4 weeks later on July the 4th we
got married
married on America's Independence Day I
lost my
[Laughter]
Independence only after our marriage I
realized she was not only smart she was
also very hot
tempered just like me we had problems
she liked outdoors I liked indoors she
loved swimming I feared
drowning she liked cooking I like to
tell her how I miss my mama's
cooking we had problems after
problems I used logic I used emotion I
even showed her a role model why can't
you just be per perfect like
me within 6
months we grew
apart there was no holding of
hands no
music no yoga
looking for Solutions I read the top 20
books on relationships guess what they
don't
work then I asked my friend Jay he just
had his
divorce Jay said man life is short don't
suffer
separate no Jay I just want to fix
it exactly my lawyer will fix it
I
called my
mama guess what she said we
can next day she spoke to both of us
here is what she
said you will never find a partner who
100 person perfect it doesn't matter
whether you pick your partner or someone
else picks for for
you most people think that they fall in
love because of Cupid's arrow but in
reality what keeps you in love is
Cupid's bow and
string you see the bow and the string
have a great partnership the more the
string pulls back the more the bow
bends ego is what pulls the string still
the mighty bow bends because it cares
for the
partner if she pulls you bend if you
pull she bends if both of you decide to
pull less and bend more the partnership
survives that's the only way you can fix
any
relationship when I look back to my
strained relationships and lost
friendships I understood Mama's
wisdom the problem was why unwillingness
to bend more to adjust to adapt to
accept to pull
less since that day I changed my ways
when she wanted to go out I joined her
when she wanted to swim I joined her at
the shallow
end when I became nice she became nicer
soon she started cooking better than
Mama last month my wife CNU and I
celebrated our anniversary for the 17th
time with our two
children yes that's the same
wife my dear friends what do you think
are we now perfect Partners no do we
still fight yes the difference is that
now even when we fight we are still
holding hands
my dear friends if you have any problem
in any relationship try to pull less and
bend more if you do I'm sure we
can contest
[Applause]
[Applause]
chair please welcome and
Weitere ähnliche Videos ansehen
2017 World Champion of Public Speaking, Manoj Vasudevan
Nick Vujicic Gets Emotional About His family | Reach Beyond Your Goal By Nick Vujicic
本当に結婚しちゃった結婚詐欺師
Ghosted My Cheating Wife & Got Married to Our Child’s Nanny Instead
The Odyssey Explained In 25 Minutes | Best Greek Mythology Documentary
I Used My Youth To Get A Multi-Million Dollar Inheritance
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)