What’s it Like Being a Sex Addict? - Nofap Rock Bottom (Trigger Warning for Suicide)

Summary

In this poignant video, Scott opens up about his struggle with sex addiction, which began in his early teens and has significantly impacted his life. He describes feeling out of place and numbing his pain with pornography and tobacco. Despite recognizing his addiction at 16, Scott's life spiraled as he failed to develop emotionally, leading to job loss and social isolation. He has attended rehab multiple times, lied about being an alcoholic to get help, and explored various recovery methods. Scott's battle with his addiction has left him feeling hopeless, ashamed, and contemplating suicide, offering a raw look into the devastating effects of sex addiction on mental health and daily life.

Takeaways

• 🌧️ The speaker, Scott, is recording on a rainy day, reflecting on his life and struggles.
• 🛡️ Scott identifies himself as a sex addict, a condition that began during his early teenage years.
• 🏠 He describes his daily life as an attempt to numb the pain through various means, including watching porn and using tobacco.
• 👨‍🎓 Scott's addiction affected his social life and school experience, making him feel like an outsider.
• 😔 At age 18, Scott was expected to plan for college and find a job, but his addiction hindered his ability to do so.
• 🏢 Scott has had difficulty maintaining employment due to feelings of shame and his addiction.
• 🎵 He mentions attempting to be a rapper, which is reflected in the music on his channel, as another way to cope with his situation.
• 🏥 Scott has been to rehab multiple times, sometimes under false pretenses, as sex addiction is not widely recognized or covered by insurance.
• 💔 He expresses deep feelings of shame, fear, and despair, including thoughts of suicide.
• 🔁 Scott has tried various recovery methods, from the 12 steps to Buddhist principles, but continues to struggle with his addiction.

Q & A

What is the speaker's name and how does he refer to himself?

The speaker's name is Scott, but he refers to himself as Scotty.

What is the weather like on the day the speaker records the video?

It is raining, and the speaker describes it as beautiful and serene.

How long has the speaker been struggling with his addiction?

The speaker has been struggling with his addiction since he was around 12 to 14 years old, and it has been nearly 10 years at the time of the recording.

What was the speaker's daily life like during his developmental years?

During his developmental years, the speaker's daily life consisted of going to school feeling out of place, coming home, watching porn, and using dipping tobacco to numb the pain.

Why did the speaker feel shame at working at Little Caesars?

The speaker felt shame at working at Little Caesars because he felt it was a 'shitty job' and he couldn't bring himself to do it.

How has the speaker's addiction affected his social life?

The speaker's addiction has made him socially awkward, leading to him being a 'weird kid' and feeling alone. He also engaged in risky behaviors like using cocaine and attending parties to numb his pain.

What attempts has the speaker made to address his addiction?

The speaker has tried various methods to address his addiction, including the 12 steps program, attending rehab four times, and exploring different recovery philosophies like Buddhist twelve steps, SMART Recovery, and Celebrate Recovery.

What is the speaker's current age and what has his life been like for the past four years?

The speaker is currently 22 years old and for the past four years, he has been living in his room, mooching off his parents, and struggling with his addiction.

Why did the speaker lie about being an alcoholic to get into rehab?

The speaker lied about being an alcoholic to get into rehab because psychologists often do not recognize sex addiction as a real issue, and insurance may not cover treatment for it.

What is the speaker's current emotional state during the recording?

The speaker's emotional state is very low; he expresses feelings of hopelessness, fear, and a struggle with suicidal thoughts.

What is the speaker's perspective on his future and the impact of his addiction?

The speaker feels that his addiction has ruined his life, preventing him from functioning normally and enjoying the experiences of his peers, such as going to college and living a fulfilling life.