Best FIRST MESSAGE to Send on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge

TextGod

5 May 202406:14

Summary

TLDRIn this video, online dating coach Louis Farfields shares the results of an experiment comparing three types of text openers. The 'Peasant' opener with generic greetings had a 18% response rate, while 'Copy-Paste' pickup lines doubled that to 37%. However, 'Personalized' openers, which involve the match's photos or bio, achieved a remarkable 72% response rate with longer conversations. Louis offers three steps to craft effective openers, emphasizing humor, commonalities, and avoiding common traps like originality and thirst traps. He also addresses how to handle profiles with minimal information, encouraging viewers to personalize their approach for better success in online dating.

Takeaways

📊 The experiment categorized openers into three types: 'The Peasant', 'Copy Paste', and 'Personalized', with each type having a different response rate.
📉 'The Peasant' openers, like 'Hey' or 'How are you?', had the lowest response rate at 18%.
📈 'Copy Paste' openers, using pickup lines, doubled the response rate to about 37%.
🏆 'Personalized' openers, which involved the user's photos, bio, or prompts, achieved the highest response rate of 72% and led to longer conversations.
👤 Personalizing your openers is crucial for better engagement and response rates on dating apps.
🚫 Avoid common pitfalls like 'thirst traps' and overused pickup lines, which can be off-putting to potential matches.
🔍 Pay attention to details in a user's profile that others might overlook to craft a unique and engaging opener.
😄 Good openers often involve teasing, humor, or finding common ground to create a connection.
📝 The script provides examples of effective personalized openers and how they can lead to more engaging conversations.
💡 For profiles with minimal information, the advice is to call out the lack of content in a playful manner, shifting the responsibility back to the recipient.
💌 The video offers a 'clickbait opener' as a blend of copy-paste and personalized elements, which can be accessed via a newsletter sign-up.

Q & A

What are the three categories of openers mentioned in the script?
-The three categories of openers are The Peasant opener, the Copy Paste openers, and the Personalized opener.
What was the response rate for The Peasant opener in the experiment?
-The Peasant opener had a response rate of 18%.
How did the Copy Paste openers perform in comparison to The Peasant opener?
-The Copy Paste openers performed twice as well as The Peasant opener, with a response rate of about 37%.
What was the surprising result found with the Personalized opener?
-The Personalized opener had a significantly higher response rate of 72% and was also noticed to lead to longer conversations.
What is the main reason behind conducting the experiment on openers?
-The main reason was to convince the audience to start personalizing their openers and to show them how to do it effectively.
What are the three steps to writing the best first message according to the script?
-The three steps are: 1) Avoid traps, 2) Notice what others don't, and 3) Tease, use humor, and find commonalities.
What are some examples of traps that most men fall into when messaging women?
-Examples of traps include the Originality trap, where men use lines that feel original but are commonly used, and the Thirst trap, where men react inappropriately to provocative photos or bios.
What is the importance of avoiding the Thirst trap when messaging on dating apps?
-Avoiding the Thirst trap is important because it prevents men from appearing overly eager or disrespectful, which can be a turn-off for women.
How can one notice details in a woman's profile that others might miss?
-One can notice these details by calmly and carefully examining her photos, bio, and prompts, looking for things to relate to or that stand out.
What is the significance of teasing, humor, and commonalities in crafting a good opener?
-Teasing, humor, and commonalities are significant because they can make the opener engaging and more likely to elicit a response, creating a connection right from the start.
What is the advice given for dealing with profiles that have minimal information?
-The advice is to not overthink it and instead send a message that calls out the lack of information in a playful way, outsourcing the overthinking back to the woman.
What is the bonus technique mentioned for opening messages to profiles with only selfies and no bio?
-The bonus technique involves sending a message that acknowledges the minimal profile and challenges the woman to engage in a conversation, using humor to lighten the tone.

Outlines

00:00

📱 Effective Openers for Online Dating

The speaker, Louis Farfields, an online dating coach, discusses the importance of crafting the perfect first message in online dating. He categorizes openers into three types: 'The Peasant', which are generic and boring; 'Copy Paste', which are pickup lines; and 'Personalized', which involve the recipient's photos, bio, or prompts. Through an experiment, he found that personalized openers had a 72% response rate and led to longer conversations. Louis then provides three steps to create effective openers: avoiding common traps, noticing details others overlook, and using humor or commonalities to connect. He also addresses how to handle profiles with minimal information, suggesting a light-hearted approach to prompt engagement.

05:00

🔍 Addressing Profiles with Minimal Information

In the second paragraph, Louis continues his advice on online dating, focusing on how to approach profiles with limited information, such as those consisting only of selfies without a bio. He emphasizes not taking on the responsibility for the lack of effort by the profile owner and suggests a playful yet direct approach to initiate conversation. Louis also promotes his dating coaching program, inviting viewers to work with him personally to improve their dating lives. The paragraph concludes with testimonials from individuals who have benefited from his coaching, highlighting the positive outcomes they've experienced.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Openers

In the context of the video, 'openers' refers to the initial messages sent in online dating platforms to initiate a conversation with a potential match. The script discusses the effectiveness of different types of openers, categorizing them into 'The Peasant opener,' 'copy paste openers,' and 'personalized openers.' The video's theme revolves around the importance of crafting an effective opener to increase response rates and conversation quality.

💡Response Rate

The 'response rate' is a metric used to measure the success of different types of openers in online dating. It is the percentage of messages that receive a reply. The script reveals that 'The Peasant opener' has a low response rate of 18%, while 'copy paste openers' have a higher rate of 37%, and 'personalized openers' achieve the highest rate of 72%, indicating their effectiveness in engaging matches.

💡Personalized Opener

A 'personalized opener' is a type of message that is tailored to the recipient's profile, including their photos, bio, or prompts. The video emphasizes that personalized openers not only have a higher response rate but also lead to longer conversations. An example from the script is using the recipient's name or interests to craft a unique and engaging message.

💡Peasant Opener

The 'Peasant opener' is a generic and unremarkable message, such as 'Hey, how are you?' or 'How's your day going?' The script categorizes these as the least effective type of openers, with a low response rate, because they lack originality and personalization, making them easily ignored.

💡Copy Paste Openers

'Copy paste openers' are pre-written, often humorous or clever lines that can be reused across different conversations. The script mentions that these openers perform better than 'The Peasant opener' but still fall short of the effectiveness of personalized messages, with a response rate of 37%.

💡Conversation Duration

The 'conversation duration' refers to the length of the interaction between two individuals on a dating platform. The video script highlights that conversations initiated with a personalized opener tend to last longer, suggesting a deeper engagement and interest from both parties.

💡Traps

In the video, 'traps' are common mistakes or pitfalls that men often fall into when crafting their openers. Examples include using overused lines, which the script refers to as the 'originality trap,' and the 'thirst trap,' which involves sending messages that are overly eager or desperate. The script advises avoiding these traps to stand out from the competition.

💡Originality Trap

The 'originality trap' is a concept where individuals believe they are being unique or original with their messages, but in reality, they are using lines that many others have used before. The script uses an example of a common line about being tired of certain jokes to illustrate how to avoid this trap.

💡Thirst Trap

A 'thirst trap' is a term used to describe content that is meant to attract attention or elicit a response through overtly suggestive or provocative imagery. In the context of the video, a 'thirst trap' refers to messages that are overly eager, which can be off-putting. The script advises ignoring such traps to maintain a genuine and respectful approach.

💡Tease

To 'tease' in the context of the video means to use light-hearted banter or playful mockery to engage the recipient. It is one of the strategies for crafting effective openers that can make the recipient laugh or feel a connection. An example from the script is playfully challenging the recipient to analyze the sender.

💡Commonalities

'Commonalities' refer to shared interests or experiences that can serve as a foundation for a connection between two people. The video script suggests that highlighting commonalities in an opener can be an effective way to initiate a conversation and build rapport, as it provides a relatable point of discussion.

Highlights

Conducted an experiment with 603 openers to determine the best approach for texting a match.

Categorized openers into three types: The Peasant, Copy Paste, and Personalized Openers.

The Peasant openers had the lowest response rate at 18%.

Copy paste openers had a response rate of 37%, twice as effective as The Peasant openers.

Personalized openers achieved a 72% response rate and led to longer conversations.

Personalized openers are recommended for their high success rate in engaging matches.

Provides three steps to write an effective first message.

Avoid common pitfalls such as original traps, thirst traps, and copy paste openers.

Original traps involve lines that feel unique but are commonly used by others.

Thirst traps are still considered traps and should be avoided in opening messages.

Details from photos and bios are key to crafting personalized openers.

Teasing, humor, and finding commonalities are effective in creating engaging openers.

Examples of good openers include light teasing and shared interests.

A 50/50 personalized and copy-paste opener can be an effective strategy.

Encourages viewers to share their best openers in the comments for feedback.

Addresses the challenge of profiles with minimal information and suggests a direct approach.

Offers a program to work personally with the coach on dating goals.

Shares success stories from participants of the dating coaching program.